I love Katie and one of the highlights of my year this year was not only meeting her at BlogHer but rooming with her too. I adore her easy going personality and her beautiful words at Sluiter Nation.
I am so very pleased to have Katie here today with a touching letter to a father-in-law she never had.
No. no. that is not right. Let me try again.
No. That is not right either.
That is better, I guess. Though I never was able to get comfortable calling you anything. That time was stolen from both of us.
It’s not fair that you were taken less than two months after I joined the family.
But you know that too. So I am not going to spend time on it.
I want to tell you things. I often start, but don’t know how to continue. I never got that one on one time to find my voice with you. I don’t know what our conversation would sound like.
I want you to know that Cortney is doing everything he can to make you proud. He takes care of me and his siblings. He reaches out to both his sister and brother to let them know he is there for them. He keeps up with his step-mom the way you wanted.
And last Christmas he was there to be the head of our family when your dad…our Gramps…died.
He knows he is the eldest generation now, and that is a heavy load to bear.
But he is not the last.
I want you to know about your oldest grandson, Eddie. But you already know about him, don’t you?
I know that you do because I see your silliness…your dimples…your spirit in him. I know Cort does too because it makes him smile a sad smile at times.
And I get a feeling Eddie knows you too.
Maybe it’s the way he points you, Papa, out in photos.
Maybe it’s how he tells me Louis, the cat, went to live with Jesus…and Papa…in Heaven.
Maybe it’s just the look in his eye.
Often times, Cort teases Eddie and tickles him until he gasps for breath, and when I tell him to stop, he says, “my dad did this and I lived.”
I know he thinks of you often and wishes he could go through this dad thing with you by his side. I know he would like to show off his boy to his dad.
Especially because we’ve got another son on the way. Charlie will be here in March.
Two Sluiter boys to carry on the name.
Will Charlie be as “Sluiter” as Eddie is?
Will I see you in the sparkle in his eyes too?
Will I see the past, present, and future of both Cort and me all at once like I do in Eddie?
What I do know, is that I wish you were here.
For the boys.
I miss something I never really had.