I’m Still In Shock

I am certain I earned my mom wings yesterday.

I didn’t freak out.

I didn’t yell.

I was shocked.

I was confused.

I may have cried a little, but otherwise I think I handled the situation very well.

I didn’t think we were above it, I have heard awful stories, but I also didn’t think it would ever happen to us.

My son can’t even take off his own pants yet…

I did not expect to find what I did when I approached his room and heard cheerful singing after his nap.

Upon entering, he greets me with “we need to get a new wall”.

I thought about taking photos and then I thought better.

Poop.

It was everywhere…

Caked all over the wall above his bed, all over him, his sheets, his pillow, his clothes, his lovey, his hair, his books. Under his finger nails, smeared into the nightstand and his favorite stuffed kitty.

It was disgusting and I was mortified.

I didn’t know what to clean up first.

I stripped the bed, stripped him, marched to the kitchen for the 409, started a load of laundry and drew a bath. It was as though it never even happened. And then I had a margarita. Or three.

Our new house mantra? Don’t ever, ever touch poo poo!

Ever.

 

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Comments

  1. says

    Oh.. my.. gosh..
    The baby wiped her poopy butt with a toothbrush this week, but that’s as close as I have come to this situation. .. yikes.
    Margaritas FTW!

  2. says

    I would have needed a shot of tequila before I grabbed the 409. Only one of my kids did that and it was so horrific I have actually blocked out which one. It must not have been Hank or I most certainly would have blogged about it.

  3. says

    You didn’t yell? You deserve Sainthood. Although I would have been in so much shock that I may not have either.

    And I woulda been fall down drunk after that… ;)

  4. Sophie says

    OMG!!! I would have freaked out! Noémi attempted to do that once, but I got into her room before it got too messy/smelly! She was about 18 months. I changed the sheets, washed her and cleaned the bed.

    I would have had the whole bottle of tequila had I walked into Lucas’ room yesterday!

    And I agree with Jessica, you deserve Sainthood for not freaking out!!!!

    BTW, tell Lucas that I could smell the poo from here ;-))))))

  5. says

    You are super mom. I think I would’ve had a meltdown.

    That is also the one mess I spare the flash of the camera, because typically, taking the photo to share is very cathartic.

    I always cringe when I write about poop, but frankly as a parent – we are surrounded by it. It can cause great elation (the placement in the flushable receptacle) or make us want to run screaming for nearest wine bottle.

    Your day was the latter, but you handled it well.

    My sister was a painter with it. Frequently.

    While we have had explosions because of potty training at a later age, I continue to be grateful that neither child wishes to decorate with theirs.

    I think you still deserve a few drinks. (HUGS)

  6. says

    I thank my lucky stars this has never happened in our home. My friend’s kid once did it at a playdate. Took a nap and “painted” the friend’s room with crap! GAH!!!!

    You deserved that ‘rita, indeed.

  7. says

    Hor.I.fied!!!! The little stinker (literally) is right, you need a new wall, room, house, whatever. I’m crossing my fingers and praying to God this NEVER happens to me. NEVER!

  8. says

    An important mantra . . . and I, simply, feel for you. I’ve had horrible occasions with mistimed diaper changes, and unspeakable mishaps in the bath, but never anything approaching this level of ick.

    I, truly, hope that those margaritas were of brain-cell-killing strength, and that they targeted these memories.

    Ick.

  9. Shelby says

    I know all too well the horror of this situation. With. Both. Kids. The shock, the not knowing where to start, the desire to call a real estate agent and just move. Sorry, Sister. It sucks but ya done good. :)

  10. Lisa Brown says

    Valentina did the same thing……I was lucky that day my sister was with me and so one of us could bathe her while the other one cleaned up the room. YUCK!

  11. JennB says

    NO!!!!!! I really have no idea what I would have done. I imagine a lot of tears. I couldn’t help but chuckle at Lucas saying you needed a new wall though. I will be sharing your new mantra at my house too. :)

  12. says

    OH MY!!!!!!! While I have dealt with diaper blowouts and other things…never this and in my nightmares it sounds like u wrote it…ewwwwww!!!!!

    Sending hugs, chocolate and booze…all of are called for!
    Xoxoxo

    But at least it may never happen again!

  13. says

    I totally hear you! My twins insist on tandem pooping. One goes on a real potty and one goes on the “frogger” potty. A few months back… one decided to help empty the frogger. The unnamed twin realized poop looked a lot like brown paint. And finger painted the walls. My students told me that is what people do in prison… poop turkeys.

    I so feel you. I drank a bottle of wine that night.

  14. says

    isn’t it funny when you read the horror stories you think, “I would die! i would meltdown! I would NOT handle it!”

    And then it happens to you.

    And you handle it.

    Barely.

    Thank god for margaritas!

  15. says

    Art. Le but de ses sculptures est de donner ainsi une identité artistique aux objets du quotidien. En 1978 Lébovici redécouvre l’aluminium qu’il utilisait à 20 ans et fait ses premiers objets

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