I promise all of my posts will not be about be about being pregnant from now on, but this is one I had to write…
It was a conversation I wasn’t ready to have.
It was news I didn’t want to reveal for another few weeks.
I wanted to wait as long as possible… just in case. Anything could go wrong and how would we explain that?
It was going to forever change everything. For him and for our family.
Upon hearing our news, I imagined Lucas never looking at me in the same way again, full innocence and pure love.
I could almost envision him staring back at me/us with a look of horror in his eyes as if to ask, “how could you do this, we had such a good thing going?!”.
Telling Lucas that I was expecting a baby brought me so much anxiety I cried several times leading up to the dreaded conversation.
I researched recommended ways to tell your child you are expecting on the Internet and read them out loud to my husband. We took mental notes and practiced our dialogue. I sought advice from trusted friends and spoke to our pediatrician for her professional opinion.
No matter what his reaction, the bottom line was: we just had to do it. It was time.
Keep it simple, straightforward, upbeat and very positive.
I could do that.
Then why did the mere thought of sharing our news with our son, our first born and special boy make me break down in tears? Why did it instill such fear?
As much as I want a baby, a sibling for my son, I don’t want Lucas’ world to change and I don’t ever want him to think that Mommy and Daddy don’t have enough love for two children or more.
Over dinner, at 14 weeks 4 days we told Lucas that we some exciting family news, that he was going to be a big brother and his response was nothing like what I expected: “That’s awesome!” he exclaimed and then followed it up with lots of questions about how big my belly will get and if the baby is a boy or a girl, what the baby is doing right now, how big is the baby, when will the baby come out, and how will the baby come out. Admittedly some answers came easier than others. It was the best dinner conversation our family has ever had!
Lucas isn’t thinking any of the things I’d been fearing. I know he will eventually, but right now he’s too busy being overjoyed at the thought of being a big brother, making sure I’m eating healthy fruits and vegetables and kissing my belly.