Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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My Second Child

Posted on August 8, 2016 Written by Tonya

It’s true what they say about second children, they totally get the shaft. There’s fewer photos, less fanfare surrounding milestones, they tend to fend for themselves on occasion, enjoy the snot out of all the hand-me-downs and are inadvertently overlooked from time to time.

Take this blog for instance, I started writing Letters For Lucas shortly after Lucas, my first born was two months old. I wanted a place to record his every move and share my, what I thought at the time, were deep and profound thoughts on motherhood.

It was my first time and this was my online diary of what we were both experiencing, a baby book of sorts. Letters For Lucas literally started just as that, letters to my son. It eventually grew in many ways and has sadly now all but been abandoned. I treasure this space and wish I had more time to write. I often think about having the whole thing printed because I don’t want to lose these words, these memories, and I feel guilty not sharing letters, thoughts and wonderful happenings about Lola here.

My second child, my daughter, my precious sweet Lola. The child we longed and waited so patiently for. Lola brings so much joy to our lives and it is hard to believe that she just turned 2 1/2. She is a sassy girl and we love her to pieces.

Lola started preschool this summer. Eek! She goes three mornings a week to the same preschool Lucas attended and loves it and this morning was the first that she blew me kisses and waved goodbye instead of crying and pleading with me to stay.

She started taking ballet classes this summer too and and next to riding her scooter or big brother’s hand-me-down bike, it’s one of her favorite things to do.

Spunky and smart, Lola is the perfect combination of girly and sporty, which I adore. She loves books and playing with Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends, pushing one my old dolls around in a baby stroller and having bumper car remote control car races with Lucas all over our living room.

We are in the process of potty training and soon she will be in a “big girl” bed. Later this month she’ll be a flower girl in my sister’s wedding and you know I can’t wait to share those photos! Now, if I could just find her the perfect flower girl dress.

And will you please take a look at this little nut in goggles?!

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Oh, my heart, my sweet Lola.

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Filed Under: blog, happy thoughts, love, memories, milestones, motherhood, parenthood, photos, siblings, silly, simple joys Tagged With: blog, happy thoughts, love, memories, milestones, motherhood, parenthood, photo, siblings, silly, simple joys

Memories Of Daddy

Posted on June 24, 2012 Written by Tonya

With Father’s Day just a week ago and mine and Lucas’ birthday this month, my dad has been on my mind a lot lately. There are so many big and little things that remind me of my dad, the time we spent together and what a great role model he was to me.

My dad and I had a very special bond and I was a Daddy’s Girl through and through. I miss our conversations, his genuine thirst for knowledge and his hugs most of all, but here’s what has been rising to the top of my memory bank and making me miss him a little more than usual (in no particular order):

1. Hearing my dad drop the F bomb the first time. It was directed at traffic and made me giggle like crazy.

2. A mortifying incident in which he yelled out the car window to a classmate of mine riding his bike after darting in front of us, “That’s the kind of thing that will get you killed.”. That was 18 years ago and recently my husband yelled the exact same thing as a biker crossed our path. I nearly peed in my pants.

3. My dad loved to dance, especially to 80’s music. Sadly, my dad was a terrible dancer, but you just had to admire his enthusiasm.

4. His roots. My father was born and raised in a very small town in Texas and while he grew to appreciate it, he did everything he could to leave that life far behind him. I wonder if he knew at 10 that someday he would work and live in Africa.

5. His loss. My dad lost his father when he was just six years old, his step-father when he was 21 and his mother at 32.

6. His steady grip and childlike humor as he walked me down the aisle. Twice.

7. Blue. His eyes were kind and the brightest shade of blue.

8. My father lived in Dockers and plaid button-down shirts, in varying degrees of blue, his favorite color. As a family, we lovingly referred to his shirts of choice as “Mike Adams” shirts because you could spot one a mile away.

9. His strong, capable rough hands. He was a nail biter and always wore both his wedding ring and his class ring (seen below).

10. His chicken scratch handwritten lists. He made lists for everything; things to do, movies to see, books he’d read, bills he paid, phone calls to make, etc., etc., etc. My love of lists comes directly from my father.

My dad on my wedding day – August 4, 2007.

Linking up with Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a meme right up my alley, because I LOVE lists! Thanks to Kim of The G is Silent for coming up with this week’s topic: celebrate your father with 10 happy memories. I could have gone on and on and on with this list.

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Filed Under: dads, gratitude, grief, happy thoughts, list, loss, love, memories, monday listicles, MSA Tagged With: dads, gratitude, grief, happy thoughts, list, loss, love, memories, monday listicles, MSA

Three Become Four

Posted on January 18, 2012 Written by Tonya

I am uncertain how or when it will happen, but we are working on it.

In the meantime, I can’t suppress the visions I have of Lucas being an older brother.

I am trying to enjoy right now, the time that I am able to devote solely to my first born, the time that includes just the three of us. I hope Lucas will remember this time too.

But, I do see him playfully bantering with a little sister or brother, invading their space and pushing buttons just to get a rise out them.

I see the sweat glistening on the two of their foreheads as they collapse in giggles on the couch after a long summer’s afternoon in the backyard.

I see him reaching out to grab her hand as we cross the street and nodding to me as if to say, “I’ll take care of her”.

I see him letting her win a round of Go Fish or Checkers, because that’s what big brothers do.  

I can hear the two of them pleading with me and their dad to let them stay up just a little longer because they are having too much fun to go to bed yet.

I see him helping his kid sister open a jar of jam for her toast as they rush around the kitchen trying to out the door for school.

I see him gently brushing the hair out of her eyes and a tear from her cheek after her first major heart break and then immediately vowing to kick the boy’s ass who did it.

I see the four of us sitting around our dining room sharing our highs and lows of the day, always supporting, sometimes challenging and deeply loving one another.

I would like to think that they’ll be close, my children; that they will gang up on their father and I as we vote on family vacation destinations, where to order take out, the naming of our pets and which movies to watch together. I hope that they will be there for one another in good times and in bad. Especially the bad.

Three become four.

I am uncertain how or when it will happen, but we are working on it…

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An Inherited Love

Posted on November 21, 2011 Written by Tonya

Home: the place where my husband and son are.

Both people bring so much comfort and joy to my life, but I am truly at my happiest in one of two other places; walking along the beach with the warm sun kissing my face, watching seagulls fly overhead, getting lost in my thoughts while at the same time completely clearing my mind. The salt air does wonders for my soul and the sound of the waves calm me.

My third favorite place to be, the place I find the most relaxing is a bookstore.

I miss the independent shops and the knowledgeable sales staff, the ones that actually read and can recommend something you’ve never heard of and fall completely in love with after the first chapter.

Books are magical; the way they feel and smell and line up against one another on shelves. I appreciate their ability to take our hand and transport us to another place and time.

Being in a bookstore is peaceful and I have spent hours walking up and down the aisles searching for inspiration, discovering it, exploring new topics, taking in the faint scent of print and coffee and relishing the quiet.

My love of bookstores, I inherited from my father. Sometimes he’d walk out of a one having spent hundreds of dollars and others, not one cent. The smile on his face was detectable either way.

Image courtesy of Pinterest. Click photo for source information.


This post was written for Write on Edge’s writing meme, RemembeRED. This week’s prompt: write about a (real) place that makes you feel peaceful. Where is your quiet place? What does it look like? What happens there? Word limit is 200. Constructive criticism is welcome.

 

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Riding In Cars With Boys

Posted on September 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

My sister, Lucas and I just returned from Dallas, where we had a wonderful visit with our aunt and uncle. Traveling with a tot is always an adventure and I have written about it before here and here. As usual, Lucas was great on the plane and owned his “star of the weekend” status like a trouper.

More on our trip in a later post…

For me, our long weekend adventure began in the car on the way to the airport. There was a time when Lucas hated being in the car because he hated being in his car seat, but nowadays, he is talkative and observant and the longer we have to drive, the more chatty he gets. His vocabulary and recall continue to amazes me.

In the hour it took us to get to LAX, when he wasn’t joyfully singing or chattering to himself, he:

  • Pointed out the picture of the globe on the side of a U-Haul truck and colorful balloons at car dealerships. Every. single. one.
  • At each traffic light, Lucas explained how red means stop, green means go and yellow says “slow down, everyone”.
  • Notified me when he had dropped his sippy cup and then would periodically ask me for it.
  • Shouted out purple, turquoise (yes, turquoise), orange, pink and taxi cars.
  • Counted the number of birds flying by and every airplane we saw as we got closer to the airport, reminding him of our destination and fun weekend plans, which we would we would then review over and over again.
  • Recognized not one, but two Ikeas and emphatically announced that we should go back there someday. He’s right, it has been a while. He also mistook a Best Buy for an Ikea, which I may have done before too.
  • Wanted to call Daddy, only to clam up and become silent once we reached him. 

Our trip hadn’t even begun and I was already exhausted. Why is just listening to a child so tiring?

Apparently I wasn’t the only one…


Once we arrived in Texas, it was all about water tower and train spotting.

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Magic

Posted on September 15, 2011 Written by Tonya

Once upon a time, there was a little girl,

who fell in love with a boy.

They got married

and they made a family

filled with love and magic.


Linking up with Shell’s Things I Can’t Say Capturing Those Magic Moments.

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Two Years Old

Posted on August 27, 2011 Written by Tonya

Letters For Lucas is two years old today!

I can’t believe I’ve been at this for two years.

There have been two redesigns, 682 posts, 12 guest posts, two blog conferences, many communities joined, countless photos shared, lots of self promoting tweets, tons of supportive retweets and some of the greatest friends made.

Over the past two years, I’m proud of how my voice has shone through in my writing and my writing has helped me explore my emotions regarding being a mother, sister, parentless parent and softie at heart.

I love my little space on the Internet. I love my readers and all the connections I have made through blogging, but the real reason I do this, aside from maintaining my sanity, is this precious little boy:

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Lucas is the inspiration for every single post I write and I hope someday he enjoys reading Letters For Lucas as much as I enjoy writing it. I hope my words give him greater insight to all of his mother’s complexities and offer us hours of conversation.Here’s to another two years and beyond!

A very special thank you to Morgan for these lovely photos of Lucas. She captured him to a tee; all of his sweet, mischievous, wonderful, curious, M&M and dirt loving magic. Thank you!

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Simple Things

Posted on July 20, 2011 Written by Tonya

  1. a little me time
  2. a lot of us time
  3. a vase full of bright cherry sunflowers
  4. a book I can’t put down
  5. a full moon
  6. a colorful garden
  7. a round trip ticket
  8. a wink
  9. a front porch light
  10. a letter in the mailbox
  11. a promise kept
  12. a secret shared
  13. a child’s contagious laughter
  14. a perfect souffle
  15. a wishing well
  16. a meaningful kiss
  17. a quiet moment
  18. a kind gesture
  19. a new friend
  20. a car wash
  21. a door being held open
  22. a discount
  23. a green light
  24. a brilliant sunset
  25. a warm welcome
  26. a pair of worn in slippers
  27. a smaller size
  28. a new episode
  29. a great opportunity
  30. a hotdog at a baseball game
  31. a catchy tune
  32. a clean set of sheets
  33. a walk along the beach
  34. a ladybug
  35. a brighter shade
  36. a chance encounter
  37. a change for the better
  38. a hand to hold
  39. a view from the top
  40. a wagging tail on a puppy
  41. a Ferris wheel
  42. a fresh perspective 
  43. a full-bodied Cabernet
  44. a familiar touch
  45. a pile of leaves
  46. a second chance
  47. along hot shower
  48. a fresh manicure
  49. a visit to the zoo
  50. a smile 
 This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 1.) The simple things…

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Two Weeks From Today

Posted on July 13, 2011 Written by Tonya

I can’t wait! 

Two weeks from today, we are going to be in…

And yes, Lucas is coming too. 

Happy happy! Joy joy!


This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5.) On a piece of paper write down something that makes you happy…take a photo of your paper and voilà…there’s your post.

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Project Smile – January

Posted on January 31, 2011 Written by Tonya

Count your smiles instead of your tears; count your courage instead of your fears. – Unknown

January was full of ups and downs for us; a new year, a new home, good news, followed by bad, but I’m grateful that I found something to smile about every day:

1st – The first day of a new year full of possibilities.
2nd – Work out routine resumed after three weeks off. Ouch!
3rd – Getting out of the house despite the rain.
4th – Pretty in pink nail polish.
5th – Believing that miracles can happen.
6th – A new path to walk.
7th – There is nothing better than a PB&J to put a smile on my face.
8th – Four loads of laundry, grocery store AND Target, washed and dried my hair, started a new book. It was a VERY productive day.
9th – Lunch and movie with a girlfriend.
10th – Gorgeous walk along Newport Beach strand.
11th – I bought my domain name.
12th – A visit with an old friend and a wonderful compliment.
13th – Today, we have lived in our new house for one month and slowly but surely are making it a home.
14th – Taking time to stop and smell the flowers.
15th – We hung our first picture!
16th – Golden Globes and Thai food with a fellow movie lover.
17th – We rode Becky the elephant!
18th – Today was not a great day, but snuggles with my son always make me feel better.
19th – The wonder of nature.
20th – My sister.
21st – A visit to an old neighborhood I used to once frequent a lot and delicious quiche.
22nd – Champagne brunch with my sister, Aston Kutcher (in the movie No Strings Attached) and shopping for shoes!
23rd – A bowl of cereal makes a great dinner.
24th – Play date at our house.
25th – Covering up the grays, finishing one book and starting another.
26th – Meeting a newborn, visiting our old neighborhood and wine time.
27th – A beautiful walk along the coast and lunch.
28th – A fun day at the Irvine Ranch Park with friends and spend a lot of time thinking of my dad today with love, he would have been 64 today.
29th – Blowing bubbles in the backyard with Lucas.
30th – Dinner with friends and all our kids! Pure comedy.
31st – The first day of a new round of music class.

I hope every day of January gave you something to smile about and that your 2011 is off to a great start!

Alicia is the beautiful brain child behind this wonderful monthly meme. Be sure to link up at her blog, A Beautiful Mess or check out other people’s reasons to smile.

You can see my December reasons to smile here.

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