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My Second Child

Posted on August 8, 2016 Written by Tonya

It’s true what they say about second children, they totally get the shaft. There’s fewer photos, less fanfare surrounding milestones, they tend to fend for themselves on occasion, enjoy the snot out of all the hand-me-downs and are inadvertently overlooked from time to time.

Take this blog for instance, I started writing Letters For Lucas shortly after Lucas, my first born was two months old. I wanted a place to record his every move and share my, what I thought at the time, were deep and profound thoughts on motherhood.

It was my first time and this was my online diary of what we were both experiencing, a baby book of sorts. Letters For Lucas literally started just as that, letters to my son. It eventually grew in many ways and has sadly now all but been abandoned. I treasure this space and wish I had more time to write. I often think about having the whole thing printed because I don’t want to lose these words, these memories, and I feel guilty not sharing letters, thoughts and wonderful happenings about Lola here.

My second child, my daughter, my precious sweet Lola. The child we longed and waited so patiently for. Lola brings so much joy to our lives and it is hard to believe that she just turned 2 1/2. She is a sassy girl and we love her to pieces.

Lola started preschool this summer. Eek! She goes three mornings a week to the same preschool Lucas attended and loves it and this morning was the first that she blew me kisses and waved goodbye instead of crying and pleading with me to stay.

She started taking ballet classes this summer too and and next to riding her scooter or big brother’s hand-me-down bike, it’s one of her favorite things to do.

Spunky and smart, Lola is the perfect combination of girly and sporty, which I adore. She loves books and playing with Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends, pushing one my old dolls around in a baby stroller and having bumper car remote control car races with Lucas all over our living room.

We are in the process of potty training and soon she will be in a “big girl” bed. Later this month she’ll be a flower girl in my sister’s wedding and you know I can’t wait to share those photos! Now, if I could just find her the perfect flower girl dress.

And will you please take a look at this little nut in goggles?!

Oh, my heart, my sweet Lola.

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Bah Humbug

Posted on December 9, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m all about Christmas.

For the most part.

I enjoy decorating; strategically placing snow globes, Santa Clauses and stuffed reindeer throughout the house, and switching the everyday guest and dish towels, soap dispensers and candles for holiday ones.

Lugging those stupid red and green over-sized plastic bins out of storage is physically demanding and the more I use, the more I’ll have to put away come January.

I love finding a tree, covering it with all of our mismatched but oh so meaningful and beloved ornaments and the scent of pine that fills our living room.

The needles drive me crazy as does having to “feed” the tree twice a day so it stays fresh. Our tree drinks more water than I do! And spending over an hour untangling strings of lights and trying to get them on the tree right was super frustrating.

I savor baking days and using cookies cutters and seeing the children covered in flour and icing.

I could definitely do without the extra lbs. or the colossal mess. Sigh.

I get a thrill from trying to find perfect gifts for people I love and have fun wrapping and attempting to make beautiful bows and avoiding bags as much as possible.

Oh, but the lack of parking spots and the long lines just to save a few bucks aren’t really worth it. The paper cuts are no picnic and I really need to practice the measure twice, cut once rule.

I revel in pulling out my mother’s Christmas dishes to use all month and like the challenge of putting together a menu for our Christmas Eve celebration.

I have zero complaints about the dishes, but trying to please everyone’s palette is damn near impossible in my family and I get testy when people meddle in my kitchen.

I adore playing cheerful holiday music (whenever the new Adele album isn’t).

But really, how many times can I hear Jingle Bells?

I like creating our family holiday greeting card and honestly don’t mind hand addressing over 250 cards.

Trying to capture a decent family photo is an absolute joke and it is high time that we cut our list WAY back!!

We avoided the dreadful family photo shoot all together this year and had Lucas design our holiday card. I adore it!

I love getting together with family and friends, all the social engagements make me so happy and I RSVP yes to everything!

But, what to wear, what to wear? And the day after fogginess makes me wish I didn’t drink so much. Plus, another evening out means another evening I’m not wrapping presents or addressing holiday cards.

I look forward to the children’s photo with Santa each year.

Of course, out of the six taken, one turned out sort of okay.

Lola was terrified! Poor little girl.

Ah, yes… the holidays. Such a delightful time of year, the sights, sounds and labor of it all. Holy crap, what a pain-in-the-ass. And it’s not like regular life ceases to exist just because it’s the holidays! There’s still lunches to be made, laundry to do, homework to oversee, dishwashers to be emptied and supermarket visits. So many supermarket visits.

It’s messy and chaotic, wonderful and fun.

I go to bed most nights in December with a tension headache. There’s so much pressure and too much to do, but still, it is my favorite time of the year.

Elf On The Shelf – NaBloPoMo

Posted on December 1, 2015 Written by Tonya

Before the Elf on the Shelf was available everywhere, including my grocery store, or you could buy clothes, accessories and pets for your Elf, I offered the tradition to Lucas.

He was 4 1/2 at the time and wanted no part of it. In fact, the idea scared the bejesus out of him.

The whole thing is kind of creepy.

Last year, he was ready; eager and enthusiastic to discover Frederic each and every morning.

So, I ~~scoured Pinterest~~ heeded the call and came up with 17 days (we were a week late to the party) worth of ideas.

Here are a few of my favorite:

Reading holiday books to friends.

Camping, complete with VW van.

Hanging out with matryoshka dolls.

Cheating at CandyLane.

Watching a movie on the iPad.

Looking at these photos, I fear I may have set the bar too high. I’m not feeling too creative this year.

Are you doing the Elf on the Shelf in your house? Have any ideas to share?

Bon Voyage – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 30, 2015 Written by Tonya

My sister and I won’t be baking together this holiday season, she won’t be helping me with the children, shopping for and wrapping last minute presents or waking up at our house Christmas morning.

We won’t go to our annual Christmas Day movie after all the presents have been opened and displayed under the tree, we won’t be sharing pie for breakfast the day after and we won’t be exchanging gifts until New Year’s Eve.

For the first time in my son’s life (seven Christmases) and only the second in my own, since she was born, Leah will not be with us for Christmas.

My sister and her boyfriend, Aaron are going on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Cambodia, Thailand and Myanmar (formally known as Burma). They leave December 10 and don’t return until December 29. I am over the moon excited for them, especially Aaron, who hasn’t done much traveling.

This trip will change them in ways they have yet to discover, strengthen them as a couple and give Leah an opportunity to visit a place where she spent much of her youth.

Leah lived in Burma for six years with our parents and graduated from the International School of Yangon in 2002. I had the opportunity to attend her high school graduation and visit this beautiful country for myself. I’m thrilled she’s going back, taking this adventure and pleased that she kept in touch with friends in Burma to visit while she and Aaron are there.

But.

I will miss her tremendously. My children will miss her too.

Christmas simply will not be the same without her.

I’ll be waiting for their safe return, can’t wait to hear all about their travels and look forward to ringing in the New Year with her and Aaron and his family.

Bon voyage, Leah and Aaron and hurry home!

Home – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 24, 2015 Written by Tonya

I have had 30 different homes.

I’ve lived with my mom and dad, my sister, dogs, cats, fish, roommates that became friends, boyfriends that became husbands, husbands that became fathers and two adorable children.

It doesn’t matter how many addresses I’ve had, they say home is where the heart is and they’re right.

Home is also where I can drink cereal milk straight from the bowl, remove my bra, pile my hair in a messy bun on top of my head, stay in jammies all day on Sunday’s and collapse into a bed where I know I’ll get a good night sleep.

Home is where every sound is familiar and comforting; my husband’s keys in the front door, Lola talking quietly in her crib, airplanes flying overhead starting at 7AM.

Home is shelter, a safe haven and a soft place to land, relax, live, eat, laugh and enjoy a glass of Cabernet.

I asked Lucas what home meant to him and he said, “my blanket, my room, and the people in it.” Perfect.

Today is the second anniversary of our family living in our current home, a house we patiently waited to be built. Lucas and I drove by it so many times leading up to our move-in date and just stared, both of us imagining our lives within its walls and under its roof. I took pictures of the progress and we talked about the life we’d make here.

Our house. October 24, 2013. One month before we moved in.

Our house on October 24, 2013, one month before we moved in.

Two years and so many memories.

Our home today, November 24, 2015.

I love my house but it’s the people I share it with that make it my home.

Dorothy was spot-on: There’s no place like it. As we journey through life―dodging the occasional wicked witch―it’s comforting to know that a cozy bed, loving arms, and perhaps even a Munchkin or two await, just across the threshold. – Real Simple

New York State Of Mind – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 23, 2015 Written by Tonya

New York was amazing.

New York is amazing! So much energy and life and lights and sights and sounds.

I hate to admit I was apprehensive about going.

I’ve never been away from my children for that long (four days!) and never that far! I was worried about the state of world affairs, especially after the terrorist attacks in Paris and spent the whole weekend leading up to our flight talking myself into the trip and then out of it again. I thought at the very least, Todd and I should travel separately. I was a basket case.

But then my wise friend Nichole, who knew what I was going through, sent me this quote the day before our trip and it solidified my decision:

There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster. – Dalai Lama XIV

I’m glad we went.

It was good to get away, spend time reconnecting with my husband and nice to savor meals, sleep in and have no agenda, no where we had to be. Plus, New York is gorgeous this time of year!

We spent an entire day in Central Park and I took hundreds of photographs. These are some of my favorite.

Central Park – November 17, 2015

Located near Central Park West between 71st and 74th Streets, Strawberry Fields is a 2.5 acre area of Central Park that pays tribute to the late Beatle, John Lennon, singer, songwriter, musician and peace activist. John Lennon and his wife Yoko Ono lived in the Dakota Apartments adjacently located to this area of the park. It was here, walking into his home, on December 8, 1980, that John Lennon was murdered and shot dead.

Bethesda Fountain rises high above Bethesda Terrace, looking over the hundreds of visitors that come every day to enjoy the view of the lake and relax at the “heart” of the Central Park. The sculpture that tops it, Angel of Waters, was designed by Emma Stebbins in 1873 and is one of the most recognizable icons in the entire park.

I also got to meet one of my favorite bloggers, Kirsten of The Kir Corner and not that I am surprised, but she is just as lovely in person as she is online!

This powerful and bold word for anybody living in the 21st century is on the corner of 53rd Street and 7th Avenue. This Robert Indiana piece is just as important and powerful as “LOVE” (which is close by on 55th Street and 6th Ave).

I suck.

I really tried to post every day of this month, but with travel and packing, unpacking and packing again (we leave for San Francisco tomorrow), plus laundry, having Lucas home and everything else in between, it didn’t work out.

Oh well.

This will be my 19th post of the month.

And I’ve missed three days so far. Sigh.

My Daughter – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 16, 2015 Written by Tonya

My daughter.

She’s feisty and fun and full of sunshine.

This girl smiles all the time.

And her smile is infectious. I hope she always has that ability, the world could use more friendly faces.

I can’t believe she’ll be two soon. Why does childhood go by so fast?

My brave, strong, fearless daughter.

She loves being read to, going for walks around the block, blowing dandelions, jumping on the trampoline with her brother and doing “homework” each school night right by his side.

Watching the two of them together makes my heart swell. Knowing they will always be there for one another is the best feeling a mother can have.

We fought so hard for this little girl. But that’s just a faded memory now.

We needed her and she was meant to be ours.

Our family was perfect before and now it’s complete.

My daughter.

The Kitchen – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 13, 2015 Written by Tonya

The first thing in the morning, it’s chilly, quiet, dark and spotless, but before long it comes to life and it gets crazy!

In my house, everything happens in the kitchen. It is the epicenter of the house, the heartbeat of our home.

Designed for preparing and cooking meals, the 4′ x 7′ granite island in the middle of our kitchen is the main focal point, not to mention the most used. Throughout the day, it serves as a dumping ground for mail, permission slips, library books, and receipts; it becomes a workstation, a place to do homework, take spelling tests, practice letters, complete puzzles, wrap presents, pay bills, write, arrange flowers, fold laundry and make arts and crafts.

My kitchen this morning.

With outlets on each side, a waffle maker, mixer, blender, handheld vacuum, phone charger or computer are always plugged in.

Our kitchen is our family’s home base, our favorite place to congregate, surrounded by our children’s artwork, the family calendar and our favorite foods. Most nights the island is our dining table too.

Two little people sit perched in bar stool sized chairs on one side of the island making requests for additional servings, more milk, a cup of yogurt, and umpteen other items, while my husband and I stand on the opposite side stealing bites of food from our own plates as we tag team the requests, shoo the dog away, clean as we go and attempt to connect as a family.

Whether three dozen cookies are cooling, a lasagna is being assembled, book reports are being written, holiday cards are being stuffed into envelopes, or dried paint dots are still visible from the last finger painting session, it’s always a vicious cycle of mess making and mess cleaning. My kitchen is both my favorite and least favorite room in the house.

The kitchen is where we come to laugh, play, learn, experiment, share, create, eat and love.

The kitchen is where we live.

Is your kitchen the heart of your home?

My Culinary Side – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 12, 2015 Written by Tonya

My relationship with cooking took a long and winding road to get to the stage it is at today.

I never spent anytime in the kitchen growing up. My mother was culinary challenged too. She could bake, but never really taught me anything. I learned my own way around the kitchen through trial and many, many, many errors! I completely ruined a pot burning rice type of error.

I would still eat like I was in college, if it weren’t for my husband and children. Did you know that they want dinner every.single.night? It’s exhausting!

And cooking is hard.

Greek Turkey Burgers with Garlic and Dill Yogurt Sauce

I still have trouble cracking an egg without getting shell in the bowl.

Sigh.

There was a time when I would have said that I didn’t know the first thing about cooking and being in the kitchen was like Chinese torture.

That’s not the case any more.

Basic Quiche – No shells!

I also realized the difference between not liking to cook or not being comfortable with it and not liking to be a bad cook. There is a big difference. And it turns out, it’s much easier than I thought! It’s time consuming and frustrating, but I know how to make rice now.

Beef & Broccoli

My husband and I don’t entertain a part from the occasional playdate or sleepover, for the children’s benefit. My in-laws visit every so often, as does my sister and her boyfriend and I’ll have a girlfriend or two over when my husband travels so I use these opportunities to stretch my culinary skills.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve actually been cooking for my family and they eat what I make.

Most of the time. The children are way pickier than my husband!

Pork Chops with Rosemary Mustard Sauce

We’ve been in our house almost two years and have yet to have a housewarming party of any kind. We need to do that and I’d love to be able to say I prepared all the food served.

Sprinkled throughout this post are some dishes I’ve made this year that haven’t sucked.

My own concoction! Sweet potatoes and kale, a little balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper.

The photos are mine and I found all the recipes on Pinterest. If you click on them, they’ll lead you to the original site.

I’m always looking for a new recipe to tackle and next on my list are crab cakes, humus, egg rolls and cinnamon rolls. Have a recipe to share?

67 – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 10, 2015 Written by Tonya

The photographer at my wedding was awful.

I take that back, his photographs were fine, but he ran around like a nut and was completely drenched in sweat while wearing a black shirt. Ew.

Every time I turned around there was the photographer snapping away.

Every time anyone turned around there was the photographer.

To be fair there wasn’t a lot of subject matter or space because my husband and I had a very small wedding, at our home, in the backyard with just 26 guests.

At one point and long before his three hour commitment had expired, we asked him to leave.

And yet he still managed to send two discs with nearly 1000 pictures. At the time I only loved a handful or deemed “frame quality”. And the rest? The rest turned out to be lovely candid shots that I treasure. Especially the ones of my parents. Somehow our photographer was able to capture many of my parents expressions and I am so grateful to have these photos now.

My mother would have been 67 today and this is one of my favorite photos of her from my wedding. That’s my father in the background. Both of them holding cameras. And champagne.

This is how I choose to remember them.

Unposed.

Beautiful.

Happy.

Photo by Rob Fadtke – August 4, 2007

My Second Child

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