DMB

So Very Thankful – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 25, 2015 Written by Tonya

It’s that time of year again, when we should express our gratitude for people and things a little more so than the rest of the year.

Topping my list of course are; the 35 years I had with my parents, Todd, Lucas, Lola, my sister, my friends, Dave Matthews, books, reliable WiFi, my health, having a job I love and these 15 or so simple joys:

1. Name a color you are thankful for. Blue. All shades, from Robin’s Egg, Slate and Turquoise to Navy, Midnight and Cornflower. I love blue.

2. Something your spouse does that you are thankful for. Without fail he gets up each morning with our children.

3. Something your kids do that you are thankful for. I love it when they get along, play or read side by side and laugh together.

4. A food you are thankful for. Mexican. I swear I could live off of chips, salsa and guacamole. And the spicier the better!

5. What recent good news are you thankful for? As a former sun worshiper, I had two moles removed recently resulting in 10 stitches and a nasty infection from the bandages, but the negative skin cancer result was totally worth it!

6. Name a drink you are thankful for. I couldn’t just pick one so in no particular order; water, Diet Coke, Chai tea lattes, Tequila and wine.

7. Name a restaurant you are thankful for. Jan’s Health Bar. It’s within walking distance of my house, has the best smoothies and salads and chicken salad worth dying for!

8. Talk about an animal you are thankful for. I guess dogs, although my own gets on my every last nerve!

9. Name a beauty product you are thankful for. I discovered two this year that I love; Lancôme Hypnôse Doll Lashes and Nerium Night Cream.

10. Name a cleaning product you are thankful for. Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. I should owe stock. Seriously.

11. What social media platform are you thankful for? Facebook, but Instagram is a strong second. Both are such amazing ways to stay connected and showcase your photography and true works of art, your children.

12. Tell us why you are thankful for the last person who texted you. Nichole, for so many reasons. She’s kind and generous and the love she has for her children and all the small moments that make life so joyful is an inspiration.

13. Name a candy you are thankful for. I’m not a big candy person, but right now I am loving Trader Joe’s Ts & Js Sour Gummies.

14. Name an app on your phone that you are thankful for. Voxer!

15. What are you looking forward to that you are thankful for? Christmastime. It truly is the most magical time of the year!

What are you thankful for?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2. Answer the So Very Thankful tag questions.

Old School Blogging: The ABC’s Of Me

Posted on September 17, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m linking up with my friends, Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Andrea of About 100% for a little Old School Blogging and this month is the ABC’s of me, a questionnaire of sorts.

Come play along! Copy and paste the words in bold below, write your post and link up.

A- Age: 43 or…

Best. Quote. Ever.

B- Biggest Fear: Missing my children’s futures and having them both turn out like assholes.

C- Current Time: Nap time!

D- Drink you last had: Diet Coke

E- Easiest person to talk to: My 19 month old daughter.

F- Favorite Song: #41 by Dave Matthews Band

G- Grossest Memory: The time Lucas smeared poop on his bedroom wall. It was AWFUL. I wrote about it. Of course. (I’m Still In Shock, February, 2012)

H- Hometown: I was born in Amarillo, Texas but grew up overseas. Arizona was home for a long time and now, it’s wherever my children are.

I- In love with: My husband and children. And always in that order.

Two drifters off to see the world.
There’s such a lot of world to see.

J- Jealous Of: I wouldn’t mind being Beyoncé for a day.

K- Killed Someone? What the hell kind of question is that?

L- Longest Relationship: The one with myself.

M- Middle Name: Dawn

N- Number of Siblings: 1

O- One Wish: Ah. I wish more than anything that my parents were still alive.

P- Person who you last called: Lisa, my ray of sunshine friend.

Q- Question you’re always asked: Uppie?

R- Reason to smile: Topping the list today is Lucas’s latest family portrait:

Complete with disco ball (don’t ask!).

But I also love; a good sweat, starting a new book, my children’s laughter, finding time to write, sunflowers, smelling the sea, an iced Chai tea latte, date nights, fresh sheets, Christmas morning, Dateline, capturing the perfect photograph, green lights, a glass of Dreaming Tree Cab, spending time with my friends, my sister, Jimmy Fallon, the smell of rain, kindness, pizza, fast Internet connection, a good hair day, stop me anytime.

S- Song you last sang: Something annoying on KidzBop.

T- Time you woke up: 6:30

U- Underwear Color: I’m not wearing any. Shhh…

V- Vacation Destination: I’m dying to return to kiss under the Eiffel Tower again, but also look forward to seeing the Golden Gate Bridge, sipping a margarita on the beach in Cabo (hopefully next summer!!) and standing in the middle of Times Square sooner rather than later. (:

W- Worst Habit: Setting impossible expectations and being disappointed.

X- X-rays you’ve had: Mouth, leg, fingers and ankle. Nothing was ever broken.

Y- Your favorite food: Mexican… lime, cilantro, onion, jalapeno, avocado, chips, margaritas

Z- Zodiac Sign: Cancer, the crab. Explains so much.

Incidentally, I’ve done one of these before, ABC in June, 2013.

Your turn! Answer the questions, post them on your blog and then link up at Elaine’s or Andrea’s place (don’t forget to tag #OSBlog on Twitter when you share!)

Big Kid Stuff

Posted on August 27, 2015 Written by Tonya

It has been a milestone summer for Lucas. Not only did he turn six four days before he graduated from Kindergarten, I also gave him some pretty cool big kid liberties and tasks.

I introduced him to several of my favorite 80’s movies, including; Home Alone 1 and 2, Mary Poppins, The NeverEnding Story, Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, all three Indiana Jones movies and all three Stuart Littles. His favorite was the Indiana Jones series and was thrilled to go on the ride at Disneyland, even though he held his hands over his eyes the entire time.

First library card – July 9, 2015

This summer we also turned off the child lock on Lucas’s car door, he got his first library card, learned how to unlock our front door with a key, helping me out tremendously when I have my arms full and we are trying to get into the house and he attended his first concert! I always hoped his first concert would be Dave Matthews Band, but it was Taylor Swift and although she was amazing, we both felt like we were at the world’s largest slumber party for 13-year-old girls.

Taylor Swift concert – August 22, 2015

This summer, Lucas walked/ran 3+ miles with me more than once, was introduced to Pokemon cards and is now an avid collector and authority on the topic, loves watching Wheel of Fortune and is surprisingly good at solving the puzzles, he made two new friends and completed three activity workbooks (first grade math, reading and writing).

I also taught him how to make a phone call from my iPhone and an all important 911 call.

What a summer! My sweet boy grew leaps and bounds and he is definitely ready for first grade.

Incidentally, speaking of major milestones, today marks my sixth blogiversary! I can’t believe I have been doing this for six years. As always, I wish I had more time to devote to my writing. Thank you for being on this journey with me.

Click on image for source.

Deliriously Happy

Posted on June 4, 2015 Written by Tonya

Although my husband might disagree, it really doesn’t take a lot to make me happy.

My children, of course top my happy list, especially when they too are in good spirits, getting along and healthy. For months they have both been battling the icks. I have seen more snot and cleaned up more vomit lately than I ever care to.

My husband also makes me happy and I appreciate all the little (and big) things he does to keep our family safe, secure and on track. Going though life with your best friend is well, the best and I’m lucky that he loves me.

But here are 10 more things that are currently making me very happy (in no particular order):

1. My neighborhood. I love that I can walk a mile and a half or less and be at a grocery store, my favorite lunch spots, an office supply store, great boutiques, two different libraries, the bank, one of five parks and countless other great spots.

2. Netflix. Because how else could I have binged watched all three seasons of Scandal in 19 days?! The struggle is real, people! Season 4 is available June 13!!

3. Dave Matthews Band. Duh. 3 months until I see my favorite musician in concert again!

4. Sunny days. Not hot, just sunny. Warm. Preferably spent poolside. With a cocktail.

5. Exercise. No, really. I have to move daily. For my sanity and those around me.

6. Our new patio cover. It has basically given us a whole new room! It took a year and a half to build but it was worth the wait and it has already changed the way we live.

7. The perfect shot. I don’t really know anything about photography and all the photos I take are with my iPhone, but I know the second I get the perfect shot. I’m super excited to take a photography class this summer and learn all about my new Nikon d40, a gift from a dear friend.

8. Amazon Prime. Enough said.

9. Did I mention these two?

Mother’s Day, 2015

10. Writing. Purging, getting it out of my head, off my chest and on paper, so to speak. A completed blog post or piece of writing of any kind that I’m proud of makes me very, very happy!

What makes you happy?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2. List ten things that make you HAPPY.

Old School Blogging: Reflections

Posted on January 14, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m linking up with Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life for a little Old School Blogging and today I’m doing some major reflecting on jobs I’ve had, idols, personal accomplishments and my last meal….

Who do you idolize?
The 15-year-old in me wants to shout Dave Matthews because… Dave Matthews.

The mother in me wants to say my fertility doctor because… Lola.

But really, anyone who has more creativity than me, whether it’s artistically, or musically, someone who can look at the contents of my refrigerator and cupboards and come up with an amazing meal, people that can draw anything other than a stick figure, people who are kind beyond measure and go out of their way consistently to do things for others, people that write and speak effortlessly and with passion and conviction, these are the people I idolize.

What is something you are really proud of that you have accomplished?
I hope it goes without saying that I’m really proud of my children and my marriage (most days).

I also love that I have kept up with an exercise regime that works for me and makes me feel good. I walked 534 miles in 2014!

I’m proud of the many 5Ks I’ve participated in, the one half-marathon and three (!) Susan G. Komen 3-day walks.

I’m really proud of the infertility column I wrote for SheKnows. I shared what I was experiencing on a day-to-day basis with my own struggle and it was always from my heart. I know that my words helped other women battling infertility and hopefully still do.

I’m proud that I submitted and read a piece I wrote in front of a large audience for Listen To Your Mother two years ago.

What is something that you are not so proud of?
I am not proud of my behavior sometimes. I hate that I get to a point with my son where I yell. I hate yelling!! We seem to be having a listening problem.

I have a tendency to be selfish and fly off the handle, as they say. My husband gets the brunt of it and it’s completely unfair. I’m working on my patience level and lowering my expectations.

Who was your best friend when you were 5, 6, or 7? Tell me something about them.
Charmaine was my first sleep-over-mimic-the-dance-moves to Grease 2-shaved-my-legs-with-for-the-first-time real friend. We met in second grade while both living in Karachi, Pakistan and are still friends today. She lives in Holland and I haven’t seen her since 1985 but I love that we have kept in touch over the years.

What is one thing you wish you could still do but may seem impossible right now?
A really good cartwheel or the splits. For as much yoga and other exercise that I do, I am so not flexible.

If you could chose it, what would be your last meal?
Filet Mignon with peppercorn sauce, my husband’s twice-baked potatoes, steamed broccoli, a glass of The Dreaming Tree Cabernet and cannoli for dessert.

What are two or three jobs you’ve had that you liked?
There are aspects of every job I’ve ever had that I really enjoyed. Mostly the people and relationships, and there were aspects that were downright awful. Mostly the people. Just kidding. I’m most grateful for working in publishing at two different companies, Fancy Publications and Crain Communications.

I think my favorite job was my early years of working in an advertising agency. The creativity and buzz was electric and I really felt a part of something special. It was my dream job. I thrived on the impossible deadlines and late hours, until I didn’t.

What is one job that you did not like?
The first job I accepted out of college I hated mainly because of the bitchy women and I worked with and also because I was asked to change my name. Long story but there was another Tonya on staff so I went by my middle name. It was a stupid and regrettable decision on my part.

What is your least favorite chore around the house?
Hands-down unloading the dishwasher!

How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller? Shorter?
5′ 7 1/2″ and I’m okay with it. I haven’t always been, especially when dating shorter guys.

How old are you? What is something you have learned in those years that you want to share?
I am 42 and a 1/2 and yes, the half is still important to me today as it was when I was 5 and a 1/2!

I’m still learning, but one thing lately I know for sure is that when being seated at a restaurant, it’s okay to say, “I don’t want to sit here, can we find another table?”.

I also cannot implore younger women enough to take care of their skin… sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen! Apply it everywhere, not just your face but your entire neck and upper chest. I wish I had started that process a lot earlier.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown more comfortable in my skin and with my body and that is something I never thought would happen.

What is one of your favorite quotes on love, life or motherhood (choose one)?
I am a collector of quotes so this is nearly impossible to answer, but one that I come back to over and over again is: “And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful then the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

But I also love: “Always be a first rate version of yourself, and not a second rate version of someone else.” – Judy Garland

And there’s this one: “The real things haven’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder

Best Dave Matthews Band Lyrics

Posted on September 19, 2014 Written by Tonya

If you know anything about me, have been reading Letters For Lucas for a while, or have bothered to read any of my social media bios; you know the ones that offer limited characters, then you would know I LOVE the Dave Matthews Band! I’m obsessed.

Have been since college.

Can listen to their songs on repeat and never grow tired of them.

I drag my husband to see them in concert at least once a year. Funny story… just three days before this year’s concert, Saturday, September 6 we misplaced our tickets! My husband swore he brought them home from work, where he had them mailed and I swore he didn’t. I know, I know, who gets paper tickets anymore? Super fans, that’s who! We ended up finding them (in an unlikely drawer at Todd’s office) and had a blast at the show, but our house was definitely a little tense for a couple of days.

I digress.

I suppose it could be said if you aren’t a Dave Matthews lover then this post is probably not for you, however, if you are a lover of the English language and enjoy words and the way they roll off the tongue and sound when grouped with other words, then please keep reading….

In my ever humble opinion, in no particular order, here are 11 of the BEST Dave Matthews Band lyrics:

Sip & See: Update

Posted on May 16, 2014 Written by Tonya

It was a celebration three and a half years in the making.

I bought new dresses for both of us.

There were beautiful platters of croissant sandwiches, quiche, colorful macaroons, mini cupcakes and delicious salads.

Gorgeous flowers and my favorite people filled the room.

And the champagne was free flowing!

The gifts were generous and heartfelt, especially a Dave Matthews Band-themed diaper cake, which included diapers, of course, a Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Dave Matthews Band CD, framed lyric, monkey onesie, Anti Monkey Butt diaper cream and monkey rattles (see photo below).

It was a day to celebrate; a Sip & See for Lola hosted and attended by my best friends and family.

Back in December, I wrote a post sponsored by Minted about how we had opted for a Sip & See after Lola’s arrival instead of a baby shower/sprinkle beforehand.

As promised, here’s the invitation:

Click on image for more details and ordering information.

Todd took the children home after a while and the game Cards Against Humanity came out. There was laughter and a few tears as I fumbled through a toast trying to express how much the day meant to me, but mostly there was love.

It was lovely afternoon.

Thank you, again friends and especially Leah, for getting me home safely.

I Heart Jimmy

Posted on April 30, 2014 Written by Tonya

As a busy and sleep deprived mom of two, I don’t have nearly as much time as I used to to read magazines or even my Twitter feed to find out what’s going on in the world. I have also stopped watching many of my favorite shows, but there is one that I DVR religiously… The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. I have laughed my way through every single episode since he took over on February 17, 2014 and I look forward to it each day. Of course, I’m day behind, but at least I feel hipper watching it.

I grew up begging to stay up late to watch Johnny Carson host the now 60 year old Tonight Show but not because I really cared about the show or guests, but because my parents did. I never tuned in to Jay Leno because I didn’t connect with him. I respect the Tonight Show institution and when I heard Fallon was taking over, I knew he’d breathe new life into it and do a stellar job in the process.

If you’re not watching, you should be!

10 things I love about The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon:

1. Fallon was amazing on SNL and has proven to have impeccable comedic timing.

2. His monologue keeps me on top of entertainment and world news. He also “gets” social media and uses pop culture references that I appreciate and identify with. This must be why my parents enjoyed Carson. A host you can relate to equals good entertainment.

3. He’s goofy, funny, cute, and so talented. I wish he were my neighbor!

4. I adore his childlike enthusiasm for his awesome guests. He genuinely gets visibly starstruck and it’s super adorable.

5. He doesn’t just conduct boring interviews, he makes his guests do wacky things like roller golf, participate in lip-synching contests, and play flip cup and beer pong.

6. His bromance with Justin Timberlake. Together they are truly unstoppable and hilarious. Case and point: History of Rap 5.

7. His impressions. Have you seen his Tom Petty or Vladimir Putin?

8. The endearing way he talks about his daughter and fatherhood.

9. His banter with his sidekick, Higgins. When the two of them go at it, it can be pee in your pants funny. They have an incredible connection and none of their playful back and forth is scripted.

10. This video (okay, so it’s from his old show, but still)…. Dave Matthews GPS spoof.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5) List 10 things you love about your favorite show.

Live & In Person

Posted on April 3, 2014 Written by Tonya

Several times I have shared how much I love music, from my current workout playlist, to favorite songs and my adoration of Dave Matthews.

I have a short list of songs that I *must* hear performed live before I die because they are some of my all time favorites, meaningful to me and have helped me find my voice when my own words have failed me or I simply admire the artist so much that I have to see them in concert. In alphabetical order, they are:

#41 by The Dave Matthews Band*
A Thousand Years by Christina Perri*
Anna Begins by The Counting Crows*
Clarity by John Mayer*
Good Enough by Sarah McLachlan
Nick of Time by Bonnie Raitt*
Piano Man by Billy Joel*
Pictures of You by The Cure
Second Hand News by Fleetwood Mac*
Someone Like You by Van Morrison

I’ve been lucky enough to see the starred ones, some more than once!

Last night I saw Christina Perri at a small radio marketing event that my sister’s company was involved in at the Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood. Perri sang only three songs, two from her new album, released this week and opened with “A Thousand Years”.

I cried through the entire song. I didn’t sing along even though I know every word, I just cried.

I loved the Twilight series, read the books and was first in line to see the movies (all five), but I don’t remember hearing Perri’s song during the credits of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn—Part 1. Apparently after fans heard it on the movie’s soundtrack, they adopted it as “Bella and Edward’s song”. It’s significance to me isn’t Twihard related; for me it served as an anthem during my struggles with infertility, a love song to a child I longed to meet someday.

I’m still recovering/processing/coming up for air from that chapter of my life and it’s proving to be harder than I thought. Infertility is a crazy roller coaster ride of ebbs and flows, hope and disappointment and there were some very dark days when I didn’t think I could handle it anymore and those were the days I turned to my infertility playlist for inspiration, a good cry and above all comfort. “A Thousand Years” is on that playlist and will always be a favorite and gentle reminder of a very difficult period of my life.

Last night was only the second time I have heard the song since my miracle, Lola was born and I was completely overcome with emotion. It’s a beautiful and moving song.

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Not only did I get the chance to hear Christina Perri live, I also met her after her set and told her how much her song means to me. She was gracious and kind and asked how everything turned out and thanked me for sharing my story.

It was a very special experience. Thank you, again, Leah! You better believe I rushed home to snuggle our little Lola.

Meeting Christina Perri – Hard Rock Cafe, April 2, 2014

The Year That Was

Posted on January 1, 2014 Written by Tonya

I love new years, fresh starts and having a calendar full of blank pages just aching to be filled with fun activities and new memories.

I also enjoy looking back on the year that was and 2013 was a big one for me and my family. Here are some of our highlights, many of which I have shared here, click on links for posts you may have missed.

January
I discovered Cardio Barre and became obsessed, attending classes two to three times per week through May.

My first infertility post ran on SheKnows. The column ran for six months and still helps woman today.

February
I submitted a piece I wrote called We Are Enemies to Listen To Your Mother in Sacramento.

March
I auditioned for Listen To Your Mother and was selected to be a part of the 2013 cast!

We were kicked out of the house we were renting because of our dog and moved into a two-bedroom apartment.

On St. Patrick’s Day, I had my second egg retrieval.

My girlfriend and I attended a Sweet 16 NCAA basketball game… U of A (our alma mater) vs. Ohio.

April
In order to detox, I drank a smoothie a day for the entire month and went on a strict no buying program!

May
We transferred one embryo and it worked!!

I met my sister’s boyfriend for the first time.

June
Charlie Pasta turned one year old!

Lucas turned four years old!

I saw Mumford & Sons and Beyonce in concert.

Lucas went to his first baseball game.

After the better part of five years, my sister and I finally sold our parents house in Tucson.

I celebrated my 41st birthday.

July
We spent Fourth of July weekend in Santa Barbara.

I made it to 12 weeks!

I saw Justin Timberlake and Jay Z in concert and to date, it was one of the best!!

August
My husband and I celebrated our sixth anniversary and we found out we were having a girl!

Lucas spent three nights with his grandparents while Todd and I were in Monterrey.

Lucas and I spent a fun beach day with Robin and her family in San Diego.

I graduated from my fertility doctor’s office.

Letters for Lucas turned four years old!

September
We spent Labor Day weekend in La Jolla.

My dear friend, Nichole flew down from Sacramento for one night to join me at a Dave Matthews Band concert.

October
We lit sky lanterns and remembered our parents six years later.

I saw Katy Perry & Friends in concert with my sister.

My sister and I took Lucas to visit my aunt and uncle in Dallas.

November
We moved into our new house!!

I saw Justin Timberlake in concert again!

I made it to the critical 32 week point of my pregnancy.

December
Lucas started going to preschool four days a week

We hosted Christmas in our new house.

I calculated that I walked 365 miles this year!

I’m looking forward to all that lies ahead and wishing each of you a brilliant 2014!

Big Kid Stuff

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