mama kat’s writer’s workshop

So Very Thankful – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 25, 2015 Written by Tonya

It’s that time of year again, when we should express our gratitude for people and things a little more so than the rest of the year.

Topping my list of course are; the 35 years I had with my parents, Todd, Lucas, Lola, my sister, my friends, Dave Matthews, books, reliable WiFi, my health, having a job I love and these 15 or so simple joys:

1. Name a color you are thankful for. Blue. All shades, from Robin’s Egg, Slate and Turquoise to Navy, Midnight and Cornflower. I love blue.

2. Something your spouse does that you are thankful for. Without fail he gets up each morning with our children.

3. Something your kids do that you are thankful for. I love it when they get along, play or read side by side and laugh together.

4. A food you are thankful for. Mexican. I swear I could live off of chips, salsa and guacamole. And the spicier the better!

5. What recent good news are you thankful for? As a former sun worshiper, I had two moles removed recently resulting in 10 stitches and a nasty infection from the bandages, but the negative skin cancer result was totally worth it!

6. Name a drink you are thankful for. I couldn’t just pick one so in no particular order; water, Diet Coke, Chai tea lattes, Tequila and wine.

7. Name a restaurant you are thankful for. Jan’s Health Bar. It’s within walking distance of my house, has the best smoothies and salads and chicken salad worth dying for!

8. Talk about an animal you are thankful for. I guess dogs, although my own gets on my every last nerve!

9. Name a beauty product you are thankful for. I discovered two this year that I love; Lancôme Hypnôse Doll Lashes and Nerium Night Cream.

10. Name a cleaning product you are thankful for. Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. I should owe stock. Seriously.

11. What social media platform are you thankful for? Facebook, but Instagram is a strong second. Both are such amazing ways to stay connected and showcase your photography and true works of art, your children.

12. Tell us why you are thankful for the last person who texted you. Nichole, for so many reasons. She’s kind and generous and the love she has for her children and all the small moments that make life so joyful is an inspiration.

13. Name a candy you are thankful for. I’m not a big candy person, but right now I am loving Trader Joe’s Ts & Js Sour Gummies.

14. Name an app on your phone that you are thankful for. Voxer!

15. What are you looking forward to that you are thankful for? Christmastime. It truly is the most magical time of the year!

What are you thankful for?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2. Answer the So Very Thankful tag questions.

You’re Special – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 5, 2015 Written by Tonya

Practice being kind to yourself.

It’s not about being selfish or narcissistic, it’s about getting in touch with yourself, your well-being and your happiness.

Stop the comparisons, there is no one on this planet like you and the only person you should compare yourself to is you.

Your insecurities aren’t something you grow out of, they tend to live with you forever, but thank goodness on the other side of second-guessing there is sometimes acceptance.

Appreciate the world around you and find something everyday to be grateful for.

Treat others with love, respect and kindness. You’ll be amazed how much better you’ll feel about yourself when you treat others the way you hope to be treated.

Forgive yourself. You can’t change your past but you can control your future. Let it go, look at it as a learning experience and believe in your ability to change.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2. Write a post in just 10 lines. It’s a lot harder to do that it looks!

This post was also inspired by so many mothers I know who recently have lamented to me how they know they need to take better care of them themselves and aren’t for some reason. Here’s hoping they realize how special and worth it they are!

Deliriously Happy

Posted on June 4, 2015 Written by Tonya

Although my husband might disagree, it really doesn’t take a lot to make me happy.

My children, of course top my happy list, especially when they too are in good spirits, getting along and healthy. For months they have both been battling the icks. I have seen more snot and cleaned up more vomit lately than I ever care to.

My husband also makes me happy and I appreciate all the little (and big) things he does to keep our family safe, secure and on track. Going though life with your best friend is well, the best and I’m lucky that he loves me.

But here are 10 more things that are currently making me very happy (in no particular order):

1. My neighborhood. I love that I can walk a mile and a half or less and be at a grocery store, my favorite lunch spots, an office supply store, great boutiques, two different libraries, the bank, one of five parks and countless other great spots.

2. Netflix. Because how else could I have binged watched all three seasons of Scandal in 19 days?! The struggle is real, people! Season 4 is available June 13!!

3. Dave Matthews Band. Duh. 3 months until I see my favorite musician in concert again!

4. Sunny days. Not hot, just sunny. Warm. Preferably spent poolside. With a cocktail.

5. Exercise. No, really. I have to move daily. For my sanity and those around me.

6. Our new patio cover. It has basically given us a whole new room! It took a year and a half to build but it was worth the wait and it has already changed the way we live.

7. The perfect shot. I don’t really know anything about photography and all the photos I take are with my iPhone, but I know the second I get the perfect shot. I’m super excited to take a photography class this summer and learn all about my new Nikon d40, a gift from a dear friend.

8. Amazon Prime. Enough said.

9. Did I mention these two?

Mother’s Day, 2015

10. Writing. Purging, getting it out of my head, off my chest and on paper, so to speak. A completed blog post or piece of writing of any kind that I’m proud of makes me very, very happy!

What makes you happy?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2. List ten things that make you HAPPY.

10 Years Ago

Posted on January 15, 2015 Written by Tonya

This photograph was taken almost 10 years ago in Nabeul, one of Tunis’s major ceramic centers. I was 32 years old.

April 22, 2005

Todd and I were visiting my parents, who lived in Tunisia at the time. My father was the elementary principal and my mother taught third grade at the American international school.

They played great hosts by taking us to see some beautiful places near their home. Looking through the photos from our trip, I am also reminded of our visit to El-Jem, known for it’s ancient Colosseum, sheep blocking roads (no trip to Africa would be complete without it) and our stay at the gorgeous African Jade hotel in Korba. The indoor/outdoor lobby was covered in vines. One of my favorite photos of me and father was taken in that lobby.

April 23, 2005

I also received one of the best massages I’ve ever had at the hotel spa.

Although our visit was memorable, I left unsettled. My parents seemed unhappy and stressed. They seemed happy that we were there, but preoccupied. The director my father was working for and with at the time was difficult and dropping the ball, leaving him to pick up the pieces. As I recall, it was his last year at the school and things did get better the following year.

When this photo was taken, Todd and I never thought we would return to Tunis two years later to remove the contents of my parents house or attend a memorial service given in their honor at the school.

When this photo was taken, Todd and I were two years from getting married and four from becoming parents.

A lot can happen in a year, but a lifetime can occur in 10 years!

My parents are no longer with us and my life looks much different today, so much loss and yet so much gain.

This is me today.

You can’t see it, but I’m wearing the same necklace I was wearing 10 years ago, a Raphael angel that I cling to in times of worry or unease.

My children have my father’s eyes.

November 29, 2014

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 1. Find a photo of yourself taken 10 years ago and display it on your blog along with a current photo. How have you changed since the day that photo was taken?

Vacation

Posted on May 15, 2014 Written by Tonya

I have sipped wine at Les Deux Magots cafe in Paris, climbed a pyramid in Egypt, laid like broccoli pool side in Hawaii, marveled at the Grand Canyon, sounded like a fool using my broken Spanish in Cabo San Lucas and got caught in the freezing rain with my three year old in Vancouver.

Growing up overseas gave me the travel bug and I have always loved it! I believe wanderlust is a wonderful thing. But vacations can be different and I’ve taken many kinds of trips… there are girl’s trips, couples retreats, action-packed tourist attractions rich with history, two-fer destinations, where you get to see family and friends but also the opportunity to explore a new place, road trips, camping excursions and good old fashioned long weekends.

Who doesn’t love vacation? If we are lucky we get away a couple of times a year and it’s never enough. Vacation recharges us, makes the everyday bearable, gives us something to look forward to, get in shape for and save up for. Vacation is glorious!

13 Things I Love About Vacation (in no particular order):

1. No schedule.

2. No laundry.

3. No meal planning, grocery shopping or cooking!

4. Hotels.

5. Room service (on occasion).

6. The experience to see, do and try new things (food, culture, environment or activity).

7. Being on vacation means my family is all together and we’re bonding.

8. Getting to meet new people and possibly making lifelong friends.

9. Procuring souvenirs or small trinkets that will forever remind us of our time away.

10. Making lasting memories.

11. The opportunity to take great photographs.

12. Being out of touch for a while. I don’t know about you, but I rarely watch the news or pay attention to headlines when I’m away from home and I try to unplug too.

13. Finding inspiration to create, write, laugh, let go and just be.

Taken Labor Day weekend, 2013 – La Jolla, California

I love this passage from Wanderlust For One:

Travel is not just recreation. It is re-creation. Through travel, I come face to face with the unknown and the unfamiliar disrupts the familiar. Travel throws me off balance while helping me to find it again. It reawakens my childlike wonder and reaffirms my sense of self. Travel makes me approach my life with a fresh perspective. It deconstructs my cozy, comfortable existence and teaches me…

What do you love about vacation?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 2.) List 13 things you love about vacation.

I Heart Jimmy

Posted on April 30, 2014 Written by Tonya

As a busy and sleep deprived mom of two, I don’t have nearly as much time as I used to to read magazines or even my Twitter feed to find out what’s going on in the world. I have also stopped watching many of my favorite shows, but there is one that I DVR religiously… The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. I have laughed my way through every single episode since he took over on February 17, 2014 and I look forward to it each day. Of course, I’m day behind, but at least I feel hipper watching it.

I grew up begging to stay up late to watch Johnny Carson host the now 60 year old Tonight Show but not because I really cared about the show or guests, but because my parents did. I never tuned in to Jay Leno because I didn’t connect with him. I respect the Tonight Show institution and when I heard Fallon was taking over, I knew he’d breathe new life into it and do a stellar job in the process.

If you’re not watching, you should be!

10 things I love about The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon:

1. Fallon was amazing on SNL and has proven to have impeccable comedic timing.

2. His monologue keeps me on top of entertainment and world news. He also “gets” social media and uses pop culture references that I appreciate and identify with. This must be why my parents enjoyed Carson. A host you can relate to equals good entertainment.

3. He’s goofy, funny, cute, and so talented. I wish he were my neighbor!

4. I adore his childlike enthusiasm for his awesome guests. He genuinely gets visibly starstruck and it’s super adorable.

5. He doesn’t just conduct boring interviews, he makes his guests do wacky things like roller golf, participate in lip-synching contests, and play flip cup and beer pong.

6. His bromance with Justin Timberlake. Together they are truly unstoppable and hilarious. Case and point: History of Rap 5.

7. His impressions. Have you seen his Tom Petty or Vladimir Putin?

8. The endearing way he talks about his daughter and fatherhood.

9. His banter with his sidekick, Higgins. When the two of them go at it, it can be pee in your pants funny. They have an incredible connection and none of their playful back and forth is scripted.

10. This video (okay, so it’s from his old show, but still)…. Dave Matthews GPS spoof.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5) List 10 things you love about your favorite show.

A Place To Lay Her Head

Posted on April 23, 2014 Written by Tonya

When Lucas was born, I had to have all new nursery furniture and it had to be what my warped mind perceived as the best; Pottery Barn Kids brand. Read: expensive. Too expensive for the quality.

I have purchased some very nice things from Pottery Barn, but in my experience the furniture only looks nice in the catalog. Once it’s delivered and in your own home and gets a little wear and tear, you soon find that it is not made very well and is certainly no match for a toddler. But, it was my first child and I didn’t want to spare any expense. In hind insight, a waste of money.

The set we bought Lucas included a crib/toddler bed, a seven drawer dresser and a bedside table in espresso. We still have and use the dresser and bedside table but they look like crap… hairline cracks, dinged corners and the dresser still has a missing pull knob from about the first week we got it. We’ve moved the set from one house to another and then to storage and now the crib is propped up in our garage gathering dust.

Lucas’s room circa 2009

I don’t want to use the set for Lola and not just because of the unfortunate way it has worn or because I don’t want to break up the set (part in his room and part in hers), but because as soon as we found out our second and long awaited child was going to be a girl, I automatically wanted to go in a completely different direction with her bedroom. I wanted white furniture.

My other argument is that she is using all of her big brother’s other hand-me-down baby things; rocker, car seat, bouncy seat, swing, strollers, blankets, toys and even some gender neutral clothes. She deserves a new crib.

We had a cheap white dresser and an old white bookcase I inherited from my parents that are now hers but the poor little girl is almost three months old and still doesn’t have a crib. She’s been sleeping in between me and my husband, a habit that we are feeling bittersweet about breaking, but are breaking nevertheless!

My husband keeps reminding me of the almost perfectly good crib we still have in the garage, but I want a white one (said in a completely whinny voice) and as I’m not a bigger DIYer, painting it is out of the question. I have been searching for an inexpensive one on the Internet and had my heart set on one from Ikea but it has been out of stock for over nine months.

Well, this month I finally found one at Babies R Us. I purchased it last week and will pick it up today!

Delta Bennington 3-in-1 Classic Crib. Click on photo for more information.

Once we my husband assembles it and we finish decorating Lola’s room, I’ll share photos. In the meantime, if anyone in the Southern California area needs a slightly used Pottery Barn Kids crib, let me know.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5) The most exciting thing you purchased this month.

California Love

Posted on November 6, 2013 Written by Tonya

California became the 31st state on September 9, 1850.

I’ve lived in Southern California for almost 18 years and I love it! I wish the cost of living wasn’t so high and there were fewer people on the freeways, but I can’t imagine living anywhere else in country. Here are 8 reasons I love California:

1. 840 miles of breathtaking coastline.

2. California has to be one of the few places where you never have to leave to experience every other culture. San Francisco, Vallejo-Fairfield and Stockton are the top three most diverse cities in the country and Los Angeles is home to the largest Thai Town, Little Tokyo, Little Ethiopia, and San Francisco has the biggest China Town.

3. According to The Wine Institute, there are nearly 4000 wineries in California and Californian wines out-rank all other wine-making places. Rich and full-bodied, light and fruity, deep red to crystal white, the wines produced here are outstanding!

4. Disneyland. Enough said.

5. One day you can be snowboarding, the next laying on a beautiful beach working on your tan and the day after that enjoying the desert. Depending on your mood and desired activity, you can have any setting imaginable.

6. The weather! Southern California averages 35 days a year with measurable rain. The rest of the time? Nothing but sunshine!! It’s November 6 and while some people are seeing first snow falls and using their heaters, it was 80 degrees here today.

Enjoying a Fall day at one of our favorite parks in San Diego – November 6, 2013

7. Hollywood, the epicenter American film.

8. My husband was born and raised here and I am glad that my son was and will be too!

Not that I need more reasons to love Cali, but if you do, these are some gorgeous photos of my state: 32 Reasons California Is The Most Beautiful State In The Country.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 4.) List 8 best reasons you love living in your state.

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Day 6: I’m thankful for doggie day care places like The Bone Adventure that put up with our pooch er, I mean, look after our beloved pet while Lucas and I have a fun outing! #30daysofgratitude

The Spookiest Story I’ve Ever Heard

Posted on October 30, 2013 Written by Tonya

I don’t know about you, but I have already had my fill of candy corn. I can’t help it, I just can’t get enough of the sugary stuff!

The last time I “dressed up” for Halloween was a decade ago for a co-workers Halloween party and I was a very demure 50’s girl complete with poodle skirt, cardigan sweater, pigtails and Keds. Clearly, I’m not a big fan of this holiday. I do, however, love taking Lucas trick-or-treating (wait until you see his costume!) and his excitement over Halloween decorations is adorable.

I do find haunted houses, ghost stories, witches and fortune tellers intriguing, but I’m not overly comfortable with the macabre. There is a large part of me that believes in the afterlife, mediums and those who can communicate with the dead. I have visited several psychics over the years and not a Halloween goes by that I don’t think about a spooky story my grandmother and mother used to tell me.

I didn’t know my mother’s mother very well. We always lived far away from my grandparents and only saw them once a year. She died when I was in college. I do recall she was a heavy smoker, a loud talker, collected owl figurines, loved to sew and I will forever remember this story, the spookiest one I’ve ever heard.

Unfortunately, no one else in my family can verify this story and since neither my grandmother nor mother are with us any more, I choose to believe it’s true…

My grandmother was 15 and out shopping with a girlfriend and stumbled upon a fortune teller. For kicks, they decided to have their fortune told. My grandmother went first and the psychic told her the “standard”, you’ll marry someone tall, dark and handsome, to which my grandmother giggled and then promptly forgot.

When it was her friend’s turn, the fortune teller clammed up and became very jittery. She claimed that she couldn’t tell the girl’s fortune because nothing was “coming to her” and instead wrote something on a piece of paper and asked her to put the note in her shoe to read once she got home.

The two girls carried on with their day, had lunch, did more shopping and as they were heading home crossed a busy intersection. My grandmother’s friend was hit a car. She was instantly killed.

The note tucked in her shoe read, “you’ll never live to read this”.

I have never heard this story from anyone else so as far as I know, it is true. I’ve shared it many times over the years and it still send chills up and down my spine.

Wishing everyone a very happy and safe Halloween!

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2.) A spooky story someone once told you.

A version of this post entitled Fortune Teller originally appeared on Letters For Lucas on October 29, 2010.

Pet Peeve

Posted on October 23, 2013 Written by Tonya

We have a Brittany and he is very smart.

He’s also extremely energetic, completely neurotic, overly sensitive, a disgusting poop eater, can’t be trusted with dog toys because he’ll destroy them and is too cute for words.

He adores my husband and tolerates me. I’m on his case a lot because I ~~am the only one in my house disciplining him~~ spend the most time with him.

At only a year and four months old, Charlie Pasta is still a puppy in many ways and has a lot to learn. To be fair, so do we. Dog ownership is a lot harder than I ever imagined. Turns out it is way more expensive too!

I recently took to Facebook with one of my many and easily most frustrating puppy gripes…

We are now on bed #11. Needless to say, the bitter apple spray didn’t no a damn thing to refrain this mutt.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 4. Your pets least likable character trait.

You’re Special – NaBloPoMo

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