Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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The Wedding

Posted on October 5, 2016 Written by Tonya

August 27, 2016

The Bride.

She looked beautiful without a doubt, perfect Victory Rolls in her hair and pin-up style makeup, but what stood out most was her assuredness. She truly had a confidence about her I have never witnessed before.

She was comfortable. And it set the tone for the day.

Comfortable with being a bride, ready to walk down the aisle and very much ready to be married.

The Dress.

The style of Leah’s dress fit with the decor of the gorgeous venue; a strapless A-line cut to the knee that she added a tulle halter neckline to and was covered in beautiful beads. A midnight blue sash sat snug around her middle. She wore sensible blue suede shoes to match and changed into adorable Mrs. Brungardt flip flops at the end of the night.

The Venue.

Just a few short blocks from the hotel we stayed at, the Oviatt Penthouse is in an Art Deco style high rise designed in the late 1920’s. The building is a Los Angeles treasure. Although a bit musty and dank, taking the wood paneled elevator to the top floor was like stepping back in time. The walls of Mr. James Oviatt, popular haberdasher held secrets and much of the penthouse was off limits. Signs warning, “do not touch” were displayed in several places. The original fixtures were delightful, especially the ones in Mr. Oviatt’s bedroom; his dressing table and antique lamps, the lime green tiled sauna in his bathroom, tiny sinks and other toiletries.

The LA skyline was the star of the evening and much to our surprise it turned out to be a very cool evening, in fact heat lamps had to be brought out by the nights end.

Leah put a lot of work (and Etsy purchasing) into planning a perfect wedding day and small significant details chosen with love were used on the dinner tables; delicate paper flowers made out of old maps were part of the centerpieces, personalized thank you notes were tucked into each guest napkin, small chalk boards described the signature drink, (purple lemonade) and directed people where to go and what to do. Every song played by the DJ had a love theme.

The Bouquet.

Leah painstakingly made her own bouquet after seeing a friends. A round globe about the size of a volleyball covered in trinkets and special items representing her and Aaron’s lives together and mementos of those around her; a penny minted the year our parents were married, a Thomas the train cupcake topper, Lego and many of our elementary school teacher mom’s colorful earrings. I’d like to think the Corona Light bottle cap was a nod to me. It’s a unique piece of art!

The Guests.

Months earlier when lamenting over her guest list, the names on their A and B lists, I gently reminded Leah that everyone that should be present, would be and that a good rule of thumb was if she hadn’t looked someone in the eye in a year or less, she might want to reconsider inviting them. She took my advice in some cases and not in others, which resulted in last minute cancellations and disturbing texts from friends who could not attend.

Undeniably her guests, the ones who did attend, each and every one sang her and Aaron’s praises. Leah is so very loved and has built a network of friends that have become family over the years.

The Sister of the Bride

I had the distinct honor of spending the entire day with Leah, beginning with breakfast, just the two of us and then giving her away a little before 7:00 that evening.

It was over mimosas (and bacon) at Bottega Louie that I shared the toast I would give that night. I was worried about it being too melancholy and knowing it was going to be an emotional day, I wanted her to hear it first, to prepare her in some small way. I had struggled so much to find the right words in the weeks leading up to this monumental occasion.

We cried and laughed and then cried some more. And then ordered another mimosa!

Someday I’ll share the words I read with trepidation, shaking hands and a lump in my throat the night of my sister’s wedding here.

givingawaythebride

Thank you, Tracy for capturing this shot. I adore it! xo

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Filed Under: aunt leah, family, friends, love, memories, milestones, siblings, wedding Tagged With: #LandAwedinLA, aunt leah, family, friends, love, memories, milestones, photos, siblings, wedding

Bah Humbug

Posted on December 9, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m all about Christmas.

For the most part.

I enjoy decorating; strategically placing snow globes, Santa Clauses and stuffed reindeer throughout the house, and switching the everyday guest and dish towels, soap dispensers and candles for holiday ones.

Lugging those stupid red and green over-sized plastic bins out of storage is physically demanding and the more I use, the more I’ll have to put away come January. 

I love finding a tree, covering it with all of our mismatched but oh so meaningful and beloved ornaments and the scent of pine that fills our living room.

The needles drive me crazy as does having to “feed” the tree twice a day so it stays fresh. Our tree drinks more water than I do! And spending over an hour untangling strings of lights and trying to get them on the tree right was super frustrating. 

I savor baking days and using cookies cutters and seeing the children covered in flour and icing.

I could definitely do without the extra lbs. or the colossal mess. Sigh. 

I get a thrill from trying to find perfect gifts for people I love and have fun wrapping and attempting to make beautiful bows and avoiding bags as much as possible.

Oh, but the lack of parking spots and the long lines just to save a few bucks aren’t really worth it. The paper cuts are no picnic and I really need to practice the measure twice, cut once rule. 

I revel in pulling out my mother’s Christmas dishes to use all month and like the challenge of putting together a menu for our Christmas Eve celebration.

I have zero complaints about the dishes, but trying to please everyone’s palette is damn near impossible in my family and I get testy when people meddle in my kitchen.

I adore playing cheerful holiday music (whenever the new Adele album isn’t).

But really, how many times can I hear Jingle Bells?

I like creating our family holiday greeting card and honestly don’t mind hand addressing over 250 cards.

Trying to capture a decent family photo is an absolute joke and it is high time that we cut our list WAY back!! 

holidaycard2015

We avoided the dreadful family photo shoot all together this year and had Lucas design our holiday card. I adore it!

I love getting together with family and friends, all the social engagements make me so happy and I RSVP yes to everything!

But, what to wear, what to wear? And the day after fogginess makes me wish I didn’t drink so much. Plus, another evening out means another evening I’m not wrapping presents or addressing holiday cards.

I look forward to the children’s photo with Santa each year.

Of course, out of the six taken, one turned out sort of okay.

Lola was terrified! Poor little girl.

Ah, yes… the holidays. Such a delightful time of year, the sights, sounds and labor of it all. Holy crap, what a pain-in-the-ass. And it’s not like regular life ceases to exist just because it’s the holidays! There’s still lunches to be made, laundry to do, homework to oversee, dishwashers to be emptied and supermarket visits. So many supermarket visits.

It’s messy and chaotic, wonderful and fun.

I go to bed most nights in December with a tension headache. There’s so much pressure and too much to do, but still, it is my favorite time of the year.

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    Elf On The Shelf – NaBloPoMo

    Posted on December 1, 2015 Written by Tonya

    Before the Elf on the Shelf was available everywhere, including my grocery store, or you could buy clothes, accessories and pets for your Elf, I offered the tradition to Lucas.

    He was 4 1/2 at the time and wanted no part of it. In fact, the idea scared the bejesus out of him.

    The whole thing is kind of creepy.

    Last year, he was ready; eager and enthusiastic to discover Frederic each and every morning.

    So, I scoured Pinterest heeded the call and came up with 17 days (we were a week late to the party) worth of ideas.

    Here are a few of my favorite:

    elfreading

    Reading holiday books to friends.

    elfcamping

    Camping, complete with VW van.

    elfdolls

    Hanging out with matryoshka dolls.

    elfgames

    Cheating at CandyLane.

    elfipad

    Watching a movie on the iPad.

    Looking at these photos, I fear I may have set the bar too high. I’m not feeling too creative this year.

    Are you doing the Elf on the Shelf  in your house? Have any ideas to share?

    NaBloPoMo November 2015

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    Bon Voyage – NaBloPoMo

    Posted on November 30, 2015 Written by Tonya

    My sister and I won’t be baking together this holiday season, she won’t be helping me with the children, shopping for and wrapping last minute presents or waking up at our house Christmas morning.

    We won’t go to our annual Christmas Day movie after all the presents have been opened and displayed under the tree, we won’t be sharing pie for breakfast the day after and we won’t be exchanging gifts until New Year’s Eve.

    For the first time in my son’s life (seven Christmases) and only the second in my own, since she was born, Leah will not be with us for Christmas.

    My sister and her boyfriend, Aaron are going on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Cambodia, Thailand and Myanmar (formally known as Burma). They leave December 10 and don’t return until December 29. I am over the moon excited for them, especially Aaron, who hasn’t done much traveling.

    This trip will change them in ways they have yet to discover, strengthen them as a couple and give Leah an opportunity to visit a place where she spent much of her youth.

    Leah lived in Burma for six years with our parents and graduated from the International School of Yangon in 2002. I had the opportunity to attend her high school graduation and visit this beautiful country for myself. I’m thrilled she’s going back, taking this adventure and pleased that she kept in touch with friends in Burma to visit while she and Aaron are there.

    But.

    I will miss her tremendously. My children will miss her too.

    bonvoyage

    Christmas simply will not be the same without her.

    I’ll be waiting for their safe return, can’t wait to hear all about their travels and look forward to ringing in the New Year with her and Aaron and his family.

    Bon voyage, Leah and Aaron and hurry home!

    NaBloPoMo November 2015

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    Home – NaBloPoMo

    Posted on November 24, 2015 Written by Tonya

    I have had 30 different homes.

    I’ve lived with my mom and dad, my sister, dogs, cats, fish, roommates that became friends, boyfriends that became husbands, husbands that became fathers and two adorable children.

    It doesn’t matter how many addresses I’ve had, they say home is where the heart is and they’re right.

    Home is also where I can drink cereal milk  straight from the bowl, remove my bra, pile my hair in a messy bun on top of my head, stay in jammies all day on Sunday’s and collapse into a bed where I know I’ll get a good night sleep.

    Home is where every sound is familiar and comforting; my husband’s keys in the front door, Lola talking quietly in her crib, airplanes flying overhead starting at 7AM.

    Home is shelter, a safe haven and a soft place to land, relax, live, eat, laugh and enjoy a glass of Cabernet.

    I asked Lucas what home meant to him and he said, “my blanket, my room, and the people in it.” Perfect.

    Today is the second anniversary of our family living in our current home, a house we patiently waited to be built. Lucas and I drove by it so many times leading up to our move-in date and just stared, both of us imagining our lives within its walls and under its roof. I took pictures of the progress and we talked about the life we’d make here.

    Our house. October 24, 2013. One month before we moved in.

    Our house on October 24, 2013, one month before we moved in.

    Two years and so many memories.

    FullSizeRender

    Our home today, November 24, 2015.

    I love my house but it’s the people I share it with that make it my home.

    Dorothy was spot-on: There’s no place like it. As we journey through life―dodging the occasional wicked witch―it’s comforting to know that a cozy bed, loving arms, and perhaps even a Munchkin or two await, just across the threshold. – Real Simple

    NaBloPoMo November 2015

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    New York State Of Mind – NaBloPoMo

    Posted on November 23, 2015 Written by Tonya

    New York was amazing.

    New York is amazing! So much energy and life and lights and sights and sounds.

    I hate to admit I was apprehensive about going.

    I’ve never been away from my children for that long (four days!) and never that far! I was worried about the state of world affairs, especially after the terrorist attacks in Paris and spent the whole weekend leading up to our flight talking myself into the trip and then out of it again. I thought at the very least, Todd and I should travel separately. I was a basket case.

    But then my wise friend Nichole, who knew what I was going through, sent me this quote the day before our trip and it solidified my decision:

    There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter  what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster. – Dalai Lama XIV

    I’m glad we went.

    It was good to get away, spend time reconnecting with my husband and nice to savor meals, sleep in and have no agenda, no where we had to be. Plus, New York is gorgeous this time of year!

    We spent an entire day in Central Park and I took hundreds of photographs. These are some of my favorite.

    centralpark

    Central Park – November 17, 2015

    imagine

    Located near Central Park West between 71st and 74th Streets, Strawberry Fields is a 2.5 acre area of Central Park that pays tribute to the late Beatle, John Lennon, singer, songwriter, musician and peace activist. John Lennon and his wife Yoko Ono lived in the Dakota Apartments adjacently located to this area of the park. It was here, walking into his home, on December 8, 1980, that John Lennon was murdered and shot dead.

    angelofwaters

    Bethesda Fountain rises high above Bethesda Terrace, looking over the hundreds of visitors that come every day to enjoy the view of the lake and relax at the “heart” of the Central Park. The sculpture that tops it, Angel of Waters, was designed by Emma Stebbins in 1873 and is one of the most recognizable icons in the entire park.

    I also got to meet one of my favorite bloggers, Kirsten of The Kir Corner and not that I am surprised, but she is just as lovely in person as she is online!

    hope

    This powerful and bold word for anybody living in the 21st century is on the corner of 53rd Street and 7th Avenue. This Robert Indiana piece is just as important and powerful as “LOVE” (which is close by on 55th Street and 6th Ave).

    NaBloPoMo November 2015
    I suck.

    I really tried to post every day of this month, but with travel and packing, unpacking and packing again (we leave for San Francisco tomorrow), plus laundry, having Lucas home and everything else in between, it didn’t work out.

    Oh well.

    This will be my 19th post of the month.

    And I’ve missed three days so far. Sigh.

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      My Daughter – NaBloPoMo

      Posted on November 16, 2015 Written by Tonya

      My daughter.

      She’s feisty and fun and full of sunshine.

      This girl smiles all the time.

      And her smile is infectious. I hope she always has that ability, the world could use more friendly faces.

      lola2

      I can’t believe she’ll be two soon. Why does childhood go by so fast?

      My brave, strong, fearless daughter.

      She loves being read to, going for walks around the block, blowing dandelions, jumping on the trampoline with her brother and doing “homework” each school night right by his side.

      Watching the two of them together makes my heart swell. Knowing they will always be there for one another is the best feeling a mother can have.

      lola1

      We fought so hard for this little girl. But that’s just a faded memory now.

      We needed her and she was meant to be ours.

      Our family was perfect before and now it’s complete.

      My daughter.

      lola3

      NaBloPoMo November 2015

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      The Kitchen – NaBloPoMo

      Posted on November 13, 2015 Written by Tonya

      The first thing in the morning, it’s chilly, quiet, dark and spotless, but before long it comes to life and it gets crazy!

      In my house, everything happens in the kitchen. It is the epicenter of the house, the heartbeat of our home.

      Designed for preparing and cooking meals, the 4′ x 7′ granite island in the middle of our kitchen is the main focal point, not to mention the most used. Throughout the day, it serves as a dumping ground for mail, permission slips, library books, and receipts; it becomes a workstation, a place to do homework, take spelling tests, practice letters, complete puzzles, wrap presents, pay bills, write, arrange flowers, fold laundry and make arts and crafts.

      My kitchen this morning.

      My kitchen this morning.

      With outlets on each side, a waffle maker, mixer, blender, handheld vacuum, phone charger or computer are always plugged in.

      Our kitchen is our family’s home base, our favorite place to congregate, surrounded by our children’s artwork, the family calendar and our favorite foods. Most nights the island is our dining table too.

      Two little people sit perched in bar stool sized chairs on one side of the island making requests for additional servings, more milk, a cup of yogurt, and umpteen other items, while my husband and I stand on the opposite side stealing bites of food from our own plates as we tag team the requests, shoo the dog away, clean as we go and attempt to connect as a family.

      Whether three dozen cookies are cooling, a lasagna is being assembled, book reports are being written, holiday cards are being stuffed into envelopes, or dried paint dots are still visible from the last finger painting session, it’s always a vicious cycle of mess making and mess cleaning. My kitchen is both my favorite and least favorite room in the house.

      The kitchen is where we come to laugh, play, learn, experiment, share, create, eat and love.

      The kitchen is where we live.

      Is your kitchen the heart of your home?

      NaBloPoMo November 2015

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      My Culinary Side – NaBloPoMo

      Posted on November 12, 2015 Written by Tonya

      My relationship with cooking took a long and winding road to get to the stage it is at today.

      I never spent anytime in the kitchen growing up. My mother was culinary challenged too. She could bake, but never really taught me anything. I learned my own way around the kitchen through trial and many, many, many errors! I completely ruined a pot burning rice type of error.

      I would still eat like I was in college, if it weren’t for my husband and children. Did you know that they want dinner every.single.night? It’s exhausting!

      And cooking is hard.

      greekburgers

      Greek Turkey Burgers with Garlic and Dill Yogurt Sauce

      I still have trouble cracking an egg without getting shell in the bowl.

      Sigh.

      There was a time when I would have said that I didn’t know the first thing about cooking and being in the kitchen was like Chinese torture.

      That’s not the case any more.

      quiche

      Basic Quiche – No shells!

      I also realized the difference between not liking to cook or not being comfortable with it and not liking to be a bad cook. There is a big difference. And it turns out, it’s much easier than I thought! It’s time consuming and frustrating, but I know how to make rice now.

      beefandbroccoli

      Beef & Broccoli

      My husband and I don’t entertain a part from the occasional playdate or sleepover, for the children’s benefit. My in-laws visit every so often, as does my sister and her boyfriend and I’ll have a girlfriend or two over when my husband travels so I use these opportunities to stretch my culinary skills.

      Over the last couple of years, I’ve actually been cooking for my family and they eat what I make.

      Most of the time. The children are way pickier than my husband!

      mustardsauce

      Pork Chops with Rosemary Mustard Sauce

      We’ve been in our house almost two years and have yet to have a housewarming party of any kind. We need to do that and I’d love to be able to say I prepared all the food served.

      Sprinkled throughout this post are some dishes I’ve made this year that haven’t sucked.

      My own concoction!

      My own concoction! Sweet potatoes and kale, a little balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper.

      The photos are mine and I found all the recipes on Pinterest. If you click on them, they’ll lead you to the original site.

      I’m always looking for a new recipe to tackle and next on my list are crab cakes, humus, egg rolls and cinnamon rolls. Have a recipe to share?

      NaBloPoMo November 2015

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      67 – NaBloPoMo

      Posted on November 10, 2015 Written by Tonya

      The photographer at my wedding was awful.

      I take that back, his photographs were fine, but he ran around like a nut and was completely drenched in sweat while wearing a black shirt. Ew.

      Every time I turned around there was the photographer snapping away.

      Every time anyone turned around there was the photographer.

      To be fair there wasn’t a lot of subject matter or space because my husband and I had a very small wedding, at our home, in the backyard with just 26 guests.

      At one point and long before his three hour commitment had expired, we asked him to leave.

      And yet he still managed to send two discs with nearly 1000 pictures. At the time I only loved a handful or deemed “frame quality”. And the rest? The rest turned out to be lovely candid shots that I treasure. Especially the ones of my parents. Somehow our photographer was able to capture many of my parents expressions and I am so grateful to have these photos now.

      My mother would have been 67 today and this is one of my favorite photos of her from my wedding. That’s my father in the background. Both of them holding cameras. And champagne.

      This is how I choose to remember them.

      Unposed.

      Beautiful.

      Happy.

      Screen Shot 2015-11-08 at 9.01.24 PM

      Photo by Rob Fadtke – August 4, 2007

      NaBloPoMo November 2015

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