simple joys

My Second Child

Posted on August 8, 2016 Written by Tonya

It’s true what they say about second children, they totally get the shaft. There’s fewer photos, less fanfare surrounding milestones, they tend to fend for themselves on occasion, enjoy the snot out of all the hand-me-downs and are inadvertently overlooked from time to time.

Take this blog for instance, I started writing Letters For Lucas shortly after Lucas, my first born was two months old. I wanted a place to record his every move and share my, what I thought at the time, were deep and profound thoughts on motherhood.

It was my first time and this was my online diary of what we were both experiencing, a baby book of sorts. Letters For Lucas literally started just as that, letters to my son. It eventually grew in many ways and has sadly now all but been abandoned. I treasure this space and wish I had more time to write. I often think about having the whole thing printed because I don’t want to lose these words, these memories, and I feel guilty not sharing letters, thoughts and wonderful happenings about Lola here.

My second child, my daughter, my precious sweet Lola. The child we longed and waited so patiently for. Lola brings so much joy to our lives and it is hard to believe that she just turned 2 1/2. She is a sassy girl and we love her to pieces.

Lola started preschool this summer. Eek! She goes three mornings a week to the same preschool Lucas attended and loves it and this morning was the first that she blew me kisses and waved goodbye instead of crying and pleading with me to stay.

She started taking ballet classes this summer too and and next to riding her scooter or big brother’s hand-me-down bike, it’s one of her favorite things to do.

Spunky and smart, Lola is the perfect combination of girly and sporty, which I adore. She loves books and playing with Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends, pushing one my old dolls around in a baby stroller and having bumper car remote control car races with Lucas all over our living room.

We are in the process of potty training and soon she will be in a “big girl” bed. Later this month she’ll be a flower girl in my sister’s wedding and you know I can’t wait to share those photos! Now, if I could just find her the perfect flower girl dress.

And will you please take a look at this little nut in goggles?!

Oh, my heart, my sweet Lola.

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So Very Thankful – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 25, 2015 Written by Tonya

It’s that time of year again, when we should express our gratitude for people and things a little more so than the rest of the year.

Topping my list of course are; the 35 years I had with my parents, Todd, Lucas, Lola, my sister, my friends, Dave Matthews, books, reliable WiFi, my health, having a job I love and these 15 or so simple joys:

1. Name a color you are thankful for. Blue. All shades, from Robin’s Egg, Slate and Turquoise to Navy, Midnight and Cornflower. I love blue.

2. Something your spouse does that you are thankful for. Without fail he gets up each morning with our children.

3. Something your kids do that you are thankful for. I love it when they get along, play or read side by side and laugh together.

4. A food you are thankful for. Mexican. I swear I could live off of chips, salsa and guacamole. And the spicier the better!

5. What recent good news are you thankful for? As a former sun worshiper, I had two moles removed recently resulting in 10 stitches and a nasty infection from the bandages, but the negative skin cancer result was totally worth it!

6. Name a drink you are thankful for. I couldn’t just pick one so in no particular order; water, Diet Coke, Chai tea lattes, Tequila and wine.

7. Name a restaurant you are thankful for. Jan’s Health Bar. It’s within walking distance of my house, has the best smoothies and salads and chicken salad worth dying for!

8. Talk about an animal you are thankful for. I guess dogs, although my own gets on my every last nerve!

9. Name a beauty product you are thankful for. I discovered two this year that I love; Lancôme Hypnôse Doll Lashes and Nerium Night Cream.

10. Name a cleaning product you are thankful for. Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. I should owe stock. Seriously.

11. What social media platform are you thankful for? Facebook, but Instagram is a strong second. Both are such amazing ways to stay connected and showcase your photography and true works of art, your children.

12. Tell us why you are thankful for the last person who texted you. Nichole, for so many reasons. She’s kind and generous and the love she has for her children and all the small moments that make life so joyful is an inspiration.

13. Name a candy you are thankful for. I’m not a big candy person, but right now I am loving Trader Joe’s Ts & Js Sour Gummies.

14. Name an app on your phone that you are thankful for. Voxer!

15. What are you looking forward to that you are thankful for? Christmastime. It truly is the most magical time of the year!

What are you thankful for?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2. Answer the So Very Thankful tag questions.

Deliriously Happy

Posted on June 4, 2015 Written by Tonya

Although my husband might disagree, it really doesn’t take a lot to make me happy.

My children, of course top my happy list, especially when they too are in good spirits, getting along and healthy. For months they have both been battling the icks. I have seen more snot and cleaned up more vomit lately than I ever care to.

My husband also makes me happy and I appreciate all the little (and big) things he does to keep our family safe, secure and on track. Going though life with your best friend is well, the best and I’m lucky that he loves me.

But here are 10 more things that are currently making me very happy (in no particular order):

1. My neighborhood. I love that I can walk a mile and a half or less and be at a grocery store, my favorite lunch spots, an office supply store, great boutiques, two different libraries, the bank, one of five parks and countless other great spots.

2. Netflix. Because how else could I have binged watched all three seasons of Scandal in 19 days?! The struggle is real, people! Season 4 is available June 13!!

3. Dave Matthews Band. Duh. 3 months until I see my favorite musician in concert again!

4. Sunny days. Not hot, just sunny. Warm. Preferably spent poolside. With a cocktail.

5. Exercise. No, really. I have to move daily. For my sanity and those around me.

6. Our new patio cover. It has basically given us a whole new room! It took a year and a half to build but it was worth the wait and it has already changed the way we live.

7. The perfect shot. I don’t really know anything about photography and all the photos I take are with my iPhone, but I know the second I get the perfect shot. I’m super excited to take a photography class this summer and learn all about my new Nikon d40, a gift from a dear friend.

8. Amazon Prime. Enough said.

9. Did I mention these two?

Mother’s Day, 2015

10. Writing. Purging, getting it out of my head, off my chest and on paper, so to speak. A completed blog post or piece of writing of any kind that I’m proud of makes me very, very happy!

What makes you happy?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2. List ten things that make you HAPPY.

Why You Should Volunteer In Your Child’s Classroom

Posted on March 6, 2015 Written by Tonya

The smell of construction paper, crayons and glue evoke so many memories for me.

They smell like childhood.

But for me they also smell like the many hours I worked in my mother’s elementary classroom after school on weekends. She’d have me trace letters and cut them out, put together reading packets, correct homework, organize her in-class library and anything else that she needed. We’d listen to music and work the afternoon away.

Until this school year I hadn’t spent much time in an elementary classroom. They are such bright, cheerful places and in addition to the fond memories, I love volunteering in Lucas’s Kindergarten classroom! I wish every parent could take this opportunity.

For some parents the thought of volunteering in their child’s classroom is scary, but making this contribution can be very rewarding for both you and your child.

If your schedule permits, why not?

Why you should volunteer in your child’s classroom:

It makes my son’s entire week when he knows that I will be spending time in his classroom. He feels special and I know I’m sending a very positive message to him that I care about his class, his teachers, his friends and his school.

There is nothing better than getting first-hand knowledge of what is going on in your child’s class and witnessing their teacher in action.

Spending time with and getting to know the children your child spends a good part of their week with is priceless. These are his friends, maybe for life. No more blank stares or asking, “Who is Matthew again?”.

Working with other students helps you realize that your child is right where they need to be. What other classmates may be struggling with or excelling at can give you great insight into your own child’s progress.

Teachers need help! Often times after working in Lucas’s classroom I get a big hug and a thank you from Lucas’s teachers. They are grateful for my help and I always leave feeling good about myself, even if all I did was filing and cutting strips of paper.

And I defy you to spend time with a bunch of insightful, cute, silly and full of life five- and six-year-olds and not leave feeling better about our world.

Pink Tutus

Posted on March 4, 2015 Written by Tonya

I never thought I’d be a mother to a girl.

I like to be pampered just as much as the next woman, I get my nails done every three weeks or so and enjoy looking pretty and getting made up, but my style is simple and classic (some would say boring) and there is very little pink, frills or lace in my closet. There are five steps to my make-up routine and I have never owned, worn or coveted a tutu. I never took ballet as a child, which probably is why I am such a klutz in my cardio barre class, which is heavily ballet based.

I also had (for lack of a better word) a complete crap relationship with my own mother so relating to women in many ways has been challenging for me. The thought of having a daughter of my own, raising a daughter terrifies me.

I have been pleasantly surprised by my daughter, Lola. Granted we’re only 13 months in but she’s amazing and so very very different than her brother. I don’t know that that is a boy/girl thing or just the simple fact that they are different people.

Obviously she’s not showing feminine or masculine tendencies at this point because I dress her and she has very little hair, wears a lot of her older brother’s hand-me-downs and plays with his now neglected Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Thomas the Tank trains and Matchbox cars. I’m fully expecting this all to change and in a big way but hopefully I’ll have a say in her attire for a little while longer.

When Lola was born, my friend Wendi gave us a size 12 month Hello Kitty tutu and a stern warning to, “get ready, this is what you have to look forward to”. Having a daughter of her own she presumably knows what I am up against.

She could be right.

When I was going through Lola’s closet recently I found the tutu and slipped it around her middle.

My heart almost exploded, first at the hilarity of it and then at how utterly adorable she looked. She started swinging her hips as if she was born to wear it. How on earth would she know to do that? The joy on her face was pure. She loved it and knew she looked cute. Perhaps all babies are delicious in tutus but this is one piece of clothing I never thought under any circumstances would I ever buy for my daughter.

As I watched Lola twirl around my bathroom, all of a sudden I saw a very bright hot pink hue of a future flash before my eyes and I know without a doubt there will be many more tutus.

Happy Tears

Posted on August 14, 2014 Written by Tonya

The first time I ever remember crying from pure joy was when I was eight years old. My family and I had just returned from a stateside summer vacation back to our home in Karachi, Pakistan and I was reunited after 2 1/2 months away with our dog Licorice. That was back when I liked dogs.

It has only happened a handful of times since then, my wedding day, with each pregnancy test, the birth of my son and daughter.

Tears of joy are the best kind although it is a strange phenomenon, water coming from your eyes when you’re so happy you could burst. And to try to explain it to a five-year-old is damn near impossible.

Now that Lola can sit up and I have a fancy bath seat for her, Lucas likes to take baths with his little sister. It is now part of our nightly routine and is adorable to watch. They splash and play with a few bath toys and in the process get clean. Two birds one stone.

The other night Lola grabbed at Lucas’s foot and chewed with her one tooth on his toes. When Lucas pretended that it hurt and screamed out ow!, Lola burst into a fit of giggles. They were truly playing with one another and it was so cute. Then he hugged her and kissed her and told her how much she loved her.

A quiet observer, sitting on the toilet I soon became a sobbing mess. I didn’t even bother hiding it. I never thought I’d see the day.

My two children.

Playing with one another.

Loving one another.

Laughing with one another.

My heart hurt.

But in the very best way.

Lucas never having seen anyone cry from joy before suddenly stopped having fun and with a very concerned look on his face asked, “Mommy, why are you crying? I’m not really hurt.”

“I know, I’m crying because I’m so happy. I never thought that I’d see this, you two together and it makes me… happy. These are happy tears.”

As I watch their relationship develop, something tells me that there will be many more happy tears in my future. And I can’t wait.

My Second Child

Letters For Lola

Posted on July 22, 2014 Written by Tonya

Notice anything different about my blog?

Take a look at my new header!

My “letters” are now for Lucas and Lola.

It only took me five months to get around to making the addition!

Thank you to my terrific (and very, very patient) designer, Creative Kristi Designs.

I remember when I first started working with Kristi to redesign my blog in the summer of 2011 and had the forethought of leaving room in the header for a subsequent child, one that I had no idea would take so long to enter our lives. I’m blessed that Lola is finally here and so thrilled and very proud to see her name at the top of my blog along side her brothers.

I’ll still go by Letters For Lucas on Facebook and Twitter.

Why I write (April, 2014)

Under A Shady Tree

Posted on July 8, 2014 Written by Tonya

I had just completed my morning walk and as usual was anxious to move on to daily errands and checking items off my “to do” list, but something stopped me from unbuckling Lola from her stroller and buckling her into her car seat.

A shady tree.

It almost beckoned me, dared me to do something that was not on the agenda.

Come, stop, sit for a while.

There is nothing else you need to do right now.

Be here.

Carefully lifting Lola out of her stroller, I left it by the car, walked not even 5 feet, fanned out a blanket under the calm of the tree and sat down.

We practiced sitting and I sang You Are My Sunshine and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

We listened to the birds chirping and cars driving past, airplanes overhead and greeted anyone who walked by.

Lola grabbed at the grass with her tiny fingers and gasped and smiled with the wind.

Soon she had rolled almost entirely off the blanket and was gazing up at the leaves in the tree and “talking” quietly to herself. She was mesmerized, as was I.

As I stared in awe at my precious little girl, I thought I want to remember this. This moment.

She’s only going to be this small for a finite amount of time. I’m so glad we did this, thank you tree.

Duty will always call but taking time to savor and drink up these special moments is vital to my existence.

No Guilt

Posted on March 27, 2014 Written by Tonya

After I made lunch for Lucas and got him off to school, I didn’t do anything productive. Not a damn thing.

I didn’t walk the dog.

I didn’t unload the dish washer.

I didn’t change the sheets or even make the beds.

I didn’t tackle the laundry.

I didn’t take a shower (I did brush my teeth!).

I didn’t pick up toys or other misplaced items.

I didn’t make it to the grocery store. Or dry cleaner. Or bank. Or gas station.

I didn’t return any phone calls.

I didn’t make any appointments.

There was no TV watching.

There was no reading.

There was no lunching with friends.

There was no meal planning.

There was no guilt.

It wasn’t a productive day but it was a great day!

Smiley girl – 7 weeks

Two Heartbeats

Posted on January 17, 2014 Written by Tonya

Waking with a start at 1:18 AM, I am tangled up in sheets. I’m hot and breathless. I sigh heavily and then listen. The house is still. The bedroom window is cracked opened and I hear a car whiz down our street and the distant barking of a dog. Downstairs, I hear Charlie’s collar, but luckily he doesn’t respond to his canine cousin. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and my husband moans and asks if I’m okay. “Yep” is my only reply afraid to wake up too much.

I am up and need to pee.

I make my way to the bathroom in the dark, quickly wash my hands and find myself back in bed within minutes.

Finding a comfortable position is next to impossible so I toss and turn and try a few different pillow configurations but end up giving in and reaching for my phone on the nightstand. The illuminating light is too much so I quickly go into my Settings and turn it down.

I proceed to spend the next hour responding to text messages received the day before, cleaning up my e-mail In Box and playing 11 waiting Words With Friends games. I also check my calendar for the day ahead and get lost in daydreams of gorgeous decor, insightful quotes, scrumptious looking recipes and far away places on Pinterest. I contemplate heading to the couch in the playroom to read.

Suddenly I realize I am not alone. My husband is snoring rhythmically next to me, but there is someone else.

The middle of my body starts to slowly twitch and roll. I put my phone down and place both palms on my belly. It’s a wonderful and indescribable feeling. With less than two weeks left of this pregnancy, I know I will miss this feeling.

Soon my baby girl and I will no longer share heartbeats.

My Second Child

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What I Write About