sleep

Bassinets, Cribs & Sleigh Beds

Posted on September 29, 2016 Written by Tonya

~ I wrote this August 23, 2016, but I don’t get around here very much anymore. ~

From the window of my walk-in closet I watched a man my husband works with pick up Lola’s crib and mattress from our front porch, load it into his van, and drive away.

It took him three trips to and from where we left the furniture and a garbage bag full of baby blankets and linens.

His sister’s friend or a cousin or someone who can’t afford one, needs the crib now more than we do.

The lump in my chest arrives almost immediately upon witnessing this and I have the following thoughts….

I’m thrilled to see the crib go to a new home and I love the thought of a new baby sleeping in the crib.

I’m a big fan of out with the old and in with the new.

I enjoy my children reaching new milestones exactly around the time they are meant to.

And yet, although I know it’s time, I’m tearing up as I watch the man drive away.

I want to yell out, “Stop! We need it one more night”.

Lucas’s crib is still in the garage. We will be donating it next. His is dark wood and we spent a small fortune on it and it’s matching dresser and bedside table. Because… first born.

Lola’s crib is white. I had to get her white because she’s a girl and all little girls have white furniture.

The mattress, however, provided gentle slumber to both of my small babies and I hope whoever sleeps on it now is surrounded by love and light and has the sweetest dreams of a bright and prosperous future.

It’s time.

Lola enjoyed two years, two months and one day in that crib. Prior to that, she was in a bassinet in our bedroom.

She outgrew that too, as it seems this is what babies do.

Now she proudly dreams her nights away in a big girl bed.

A beautiful white sleigh bed.

With ice cream sheets.

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Timing My Online Life

Posted on October 29, 2014 Written by Tonya

My friend Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life recently posed the question: how many hours do you think you spend online each day? My response was as follows:

Hard for me to say, a good solid two hours every night after the kids go to bed and periodically throughout the day… Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, games, etc. All on my iPhone. Maybe five hours total?

When I read blogs or write or comment, it’s usually on my laptop and nowadays that is maybe five hours per week, if I’m lucky.

Just this week for the first time Lucas asked me point blank, “Mom, why are you on your phone all the time?” That stopped me in my tracks.

I was completely guessing and in all honesty really had no idea but felt it was too much.

I don’t work so I’m not in front of a computer all day and can’t seem to find the time to write very much anymore, but my phone is always within reach, on silent so I won’t react every time it makes a sound. I hate those people who hear a message alert that is not even their own and they grab their phone anyway.

I thought it would be interesting to time myself daily for one week to see exactly how much time I actually do ~~waste~~ spend on my phone and I’m shocked at the results.

Happily shocked.

From Saturday, October 11 – Tuesday, October 21 each and every single time I used my phone or laptop, I started a stopwatch and at the end of the day, just before I fell asleep, I stopped it and captured a photo. Here are the results for nine days:

I timed everything I did: looking up directions, composing texts, phone calls, searching Google, reading blogs, reading and responding to e-mails, posting to Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, taking photos, editing photos, creating notes, listening to podcasts while walking, playing games, EVERYTHING! On average I spend just over three hours on my phone per day.

Incidentally, there is a smartphone usage tracking app (of course) called Moment ($4.99 on the App Store) and the creator, Kevin Holesh designed it for the exact reasons I wanted the data. “Since it’s so difficult to convince ourselves to leave our smartphones alone, Holesh said he wants people to at least find a balance of “connected and disconnected” that’s right for them.

So often make excuses for the reasons we are online and the time it takes us away from our family and friends and what’s really important and all that time can really add up.

My goal was to track my usage for one week but I ended up doing it for 11 days because it was easy and I found it so interesting. It turns out that scrolling through my Facebook feed, posting a cute pic of my kids or playing my turn in Words With Friends doesn’t take nearly as long as I thought it did.

I wonder if my usage was reduced because I was aware of the experiment. I noticed I didn’t comment as much on Facebook, read as many articles or view as many YouTube videos.

The majority of phone time was late at night when I didn’t have anyone to attend to, when I should have been reading or writing (!) or talking to my husband, however, he is a lights out at 10 o’clock kind of person and I stay up until midnight almost every night. After we caught up and watched a show or two on TV, I turned to my phone. Perhaps I’d get a more restful sleep if I put my phone down.

I also timed my laptop usage, although during the 11 days I only used it once and for roughly an hour.

If you have ever wondered about your phone usage, I encourage you to try this challenge and please share your results. And relax, it’s probably not as much as you think!

Things I Do At 4 In The Morning

Posted on May 8, 2014 Written by Tonya

We are so lucky, Lola is an excellent sleeper. She goes for 4-5 hour stretches each night, which means she’s only up twice, around midnight and 4 o’clock. My husband and I take turns and typically I have an easier time getting her to go back to sleep but after she has been fed and burped and changed and kissed and rocked, I am wide awake!

Try as I might to will myself back to sleep, never turning on a light or the television, lying still and breathing deeply, most nights I fail miserably.

And I know I shouldn’t grab for my phone, but it’s right there on the nightstand beguiling me. So here’s what I do at 4 in morning:

Respond to text messages… I know, a little but but better late than never.
Unsubscribe to unwanted promotional e-mails.
Meal plan.
Write partial blog posts.
Research soon-to-be expired Groupons I’ve purchased.
Look up answers to curious four-year-old questions, like knock-knock jokes, if fish sleep (they do, BTW) and birthday party themes.
Play Words With Friends (thank you to those who are up at the same time!).
Read, thanks to my Kindle app (!).
Order stuff…. diapers mostly but lately several packages have arrived at our house that I don’t exactly recall ordering. With the Amazon.com and Diapers.com apps, it is just far too easy, not to mention expensive!

Time to keep my phone downstairs.

Outside.

In the trunk of my car.

Let Her Sleep…

Posted on April 24, 2014 Written by Tonya

Before Lola was born, Wednesday was one of my favorite days because it’s the only day Lucas doesn’t go to school and it was just us. Since Lola’s arrival, Wednesdays are tough, especially for her.

Poor girl is in and out of the car for big brother’s swim lessons, in and out of the car for his My Gym class; there’s lots of waiting around while he gets to have all the fun, she has her diapers changed in public restrooms, feedings on the go and put up with general chaos. I take her out of her car seat and she loves to watch him and everything else going on around us, but it’s not familiar surroundings and she fusses a lot.

Yesterday I made time for us to be home in middle of all of our Wednesday activities for a little while. Lucas played with Lego quietly and I did a few things around the house. Lola enjoyed scooting around (not quite able to roll over) on the guest bed cooing as happy as can be. I hung out with her for a while and then left for a few moments and returned to the most magical sight:

I don’t seek these moments out but when they find me, they take my breath away. After soaking it in I grabbed my camera.

I could not love this little girl more.

Two Heartbeats

Posted on January 17, 2014 Written by Tonya

Waking with a start at 1:18 AM, I am tangled up in sheets. I’m hot and breathless. I sigh heavily and then listen. The house is still. The bedroom window is cracked opened and I hear a car whiz down our street and the distant barking of a dog. Downstairs, I hear Charlie’s collar, but luckily he doesn’t respond to his canine cousin. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and my husband moans and asks if I’m okay. “Yep” is my only reply afraid to wake up too much.

I am up and need to pee.

I make my way to the bathroom in the dark, quickly wash my hands and find myself back in bed within minutes.

Finding a comfortable position is next to impossible so I toss and turn and try a few different pillow configurations but end up giving in and reaching for my phone on the nightstand. The illuminating light is too much so I quickly go into my Settings and turn it down.

I proceed to spend the next hour responding to text messages received the day before, cleaning up my e-mail In Box and playing 11 waiting Words With Friends games. I also check my calendar for the day ahead and get lost in daydreams of gorgeous decor, insightful quotes, scrumptious looking recipes and far away places on Pinterest. I contemplate heading to the couch in the playroom to read.

Suddenly I realize I am not alone. My husband is snoring rhythmically next to me, but there is someone else.

The middle of my body starts to slowly twitch and roll. I put my phone down and place both palms on my belly. It’s a wonderful and indescribable feeling. With less than two weeks left of this pregnancy, I know I will miss this feeling.

Soon my baby girl and I will no longer share heartbeats.

Never Gonna Give You Up

Posted on May 22, 2012 Written by Tonya

Elena of Mommy is in Timeout is my guest today. I had the pleasure of meeting Elena, her husband and two adorable sons last July when they rolled through Southern Cal. Our boys were busy going in three completely different directions, so it was challenging to have a complete conversation, but I liked her instantly and have always appreciated her humor, love of all things Detroit and endless support. Here she is with a letter moms everywhere can identify with. Sigh…

When Tonya asked me to participate in her Letters for You series, I wasn’t really sure who, or what, I would write to.

I could write the wounded neighborhood duck, who keeps trying to seek refuge in our front lawn, not knowing that she’s turning to a woman who is scared of every animal on the planet, including ducks.

I could write my boys and tell them all the simple things they do each day to tug on my heart strings.

I could write Moroccan Oil for being my hairs only savior on a steamy, frizzy-inducing summer day.

Then it dawned on me, as I sat on the floor outside Cooper’s room last night, watching him on the video monitor, yelling in to him every single time he scaled the walls of his crib and tried to flee the bedtime scene. I would write a love letter to the one thing I’m just not willing to let go of yet.

Dear Mr. Crib,

You entered my life back in 2007 and I had no idea the love affair we would have. Your 4-walled cell kept my kids safe, while they slept away on their (probably unnecessary) organic mattresses. You allowed me take showers in peace when I couldn’t trust two toddlers roaming the house. You kept them in a timeout when one was necessary for them (or me).

Last year, Lanagan decided to move on.

I begged and pleaded with him, sleeping in a big boy bed is so overrated. Mommy would sleep in a crib if she could; it’s like your own personal bat cave. I told him a story of how I even once googled “adult sized cribs”, but the search results yielded rather embarrassing bondage suggestions and it’s actually something I’m kind of ashamed to having on my permanent search history.

After a long discussion, my son convincing me he could move to a bed, while I warned him to be careful of what he googles in the future, we decided it was best that he moved to a mattress on the floor, and that I never go on the Internet again.

I rationalized this move from you with the fact that at least 50% of my kids were still enjoying all the benefits you offered.

Until this past weekend.

In a completely irrational move, I fear as though everyone in the house may be giving you up.

My just-over-2-year-old-but-still-a-baby-in-my-eyes is all but refusing you and crawling out on his own SEVERAL times a night. I’m beside myself.

After work today, I snuck in my Cooper’s room, and you and I had a heart to heart. I stroked your wood (there I go ruining my search history again) and told you to just work your magic. Do something tonight that would seal the deal and give me just one more year. Even six months.

Mr. Crib, no need to respond to this letter, as actions speak louder than words. I hope to see results soon.

Love Your #1 Fan –
Elena

Golden Slumbers

Posted on March 28, 2012 Written by Tonya

Do you know how many times we check on you after you fall asleep at night?

We carefully tip-toe into your bedroom, breathe in your scent, make sure you are tucked in and that the temperature is just right.

Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry and I will sing a lullaby.

We reposition and adjust your small body and limbs for your maximum comfort and safety.

We locate your lovey and place it gently in your arms, where it can easily be found if needed.

Golden slumbers, fill your eyes. Smiles await you when you rise.

We tenderly reassure you, “Mommy and Daddy love you so much” and give you kisses.

We put toys and books back in their places and pick up little socks from the floor.

Sleep pretty darling, do not cry, and I will sing a lullaby.

We make silent wishes that your sleep is sound and your dreams are sweet.

Between the time when you go to bed and we go to bed, there are at least three visits. Maybe more. Sometimes you stir, but usually not. Sometimes there are complete, yet sleepy incoherent conversations.

No matter how trying the day was, or what struggles we endured during dinner and bath time, your peaceful face is the last thing we long to see each night before we close our own eyes.

Once there was a way to get back homeward. Once there was a way to get back home.

We quietly leave your room knowing how blessed we are and gladly leave another piece of our hearts warm and safe with you.

Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry and I will sing a lullaby.

My Second Child

Just One Day

Posted on March 14, 2012 Written by Tonya

I need a day of unwashed hair, unbrushed teeth and no bra.

Just one day.

I need 24 hours in my favorite jammies, hiding out in the comfort of my bed, drifting in and out of sleep while watching bad TV.

Just one day.

I don’t want to separate darks from whites, build Lego towers, visit the supermarket or wear a brave face.

Just one day.

I want to be snarky and rude and drown my sorrows in a big juicy cheese burger, French fries and chocolate shake, all of which I’ll surely regret.

Just one day.

I want to completely unplug, letting phone calls, e-mails and text messages go unanswered.

Just one day.

I need a day to be still, silent, curse the universe, wonder why me, feel sorry for myself and sob.

Just one day.

I want to regroup, sort through my feelings and find solace knowing that every cloud has a silver lining and that tomorrow is a brand new day.

About Last Night

Posted on January 12, 2012 Written by Tonya

Last night Lucas finally went to sleep somewhere between 8:00 and 8:30, after multiple ~~pleads~~ visits from both Mom and Dad to “settle down”.

I love this time of the day, the hours that we reclaim our house and get to enjoy the peace, the calm after the storm, if you will; a real conversation, a movie from start to finish or other adult activity.

Tonight, however, went something more like this….

Todd nestled in our bed with his laptop to write an appraisal for work and I was in the living room spread out on the couch watching TV, computer on my lap and wine in hand. I was tweeting, pinteresting, catching up on blogs and above all, relaxing, in other words, I was multitasking.

It was after 10:00 by the time I made it to bed. Todd was asleep shortly there after. I laid next to him quietly and read for an hour and a half… 100 pages!

At 11:45 I turned off the light.

There in the dark, even though I said I wasn’t going to do it, it beckoned me.

And you know what happened next… one Website sent me to another and then another and another and another and…

I played six turns of Scrabble (scored one bingo!), five turns of Words With Friends, tweeted more, pinned five new items, checked out my Facebook news feed, commented, “liked”, listened to the whirl of the dish washer run through nine cycles, nudged my partner a couple of times to stop the snoring, thought I heard Lucas open the door to his room twice and all the while cursing myself for being up past my bedtime AGAIN!

Then I ~~wrote~~ typed this post.

Stupid phone.

(Written and) sent from my iPhone

The Perfect Vacation

Posted on November 13, 2011 Written by Tonya

When I think of vacation, I picture quality time spent in a poolside lounge chair with a great book, a pile of magazines and being served too many cocktails.

I also associate vacations with letting my hair down, uninterrupted conversations, new experiences, sleeping in and room service.

Costa Rica, October, 2005

I envision escaping it all: laundry, bills, TV; the mundane of my every day existence at home.

Vacations are meant to be memory-making adventures sprinkled with a little more indulgence than usual and hopefully some decent photos to bring home and frame.

Cabo San Lucas, April, 2001

My perfect vacation [and only because it has been so long that I’ve had one quite like this] would be somewhere sunny and coastal and alone with my husband.

Grand Canyon, Summer, 2008

My perfect vacation would also include:

1. Someone to pack for me, first class tickets and a limousine ride to and from the airport would all be wonderful, but I honestly don’t mind shuttles or coach seats (just so long as I don’t get stuck next to a screaming kid or a stinky fat man).

2. The ability to enjoy the vacation without any mommy guilt!

3. Having been rained on, snowed in and caught in a hurricane, the perfect vacation would include perfect weather upon arrival and for the entire length of our stay.

4. The ability to pack everything I might need and nothing I won’t, in other words, as many shoes as I want without any questions from my traveling companion and no emergency stops at a mall or drug store for something stupid I forgot at home, like a bathing suit. Yes, I have done this before. More than once!

5. Souvenirs. In the form of a special trinket, new friends or the rekindling of an old relationship with a true BFF.

Visiting my BFF, Sophie in New Caledonia, May, 2010

6. The ability to truly relax. This is so much easier said that done, especially for my husband when confined to a lounge chair. For me, if in a beach or pool setting, I could hang out in the sun all day every day, breaking only to eat, sleep and shower, but for him, it’s not so easy. I’m open to water sports and boat rides.

7. The ability to indulge in sweet treats and pretty drinks without gaining a single pound.

8. The ability to NOT get sick. I have had some of the nastiest colds in my life while on vacation.

9. Spa services. Enough said.

10. Returning home to a clean home, fresh sheets on the bed, mail sorted and someone to do the mounds of laundry.

Hawaii, August, 2011

This post was inspired by Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley, as I LOVE lists! This week’s topic: 10 Things That Make A Vacation Perfect (selected by Hopes@StayingAfloat)

Bassinets, Cribs & Sleigh Beds

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