Dear Lola On Your 1st Birthday

Dear Lola,

My world became immensely sunnier the day you were born.

When I first laid my eyes upon you, I was filled with a sense of relief and peace I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Today we celebrate a year of you.

We celebrate the fact that we thrived and loved every moment of your first year.

Our family was full before and complete, but once you arrived you oozed into all the tiny cracks and crevasses and made us whole. You fit in so nicely and as if you were always meant to be.

I would not be the mother I am without you, and while I am teaching you and your brother life lessons, you are transforming the very core of me.

You are everything I imagined you would be and so, so much more. Thank you for being such an easy baby, for sleeping through the night since you were four months old, for making us laugh and for each and every smile. Thank you for the quiet moments when I hold you close and you stare deep into my eyes with an all knowing sense. Thank you for your patience with me when I’m overwhelmed and for letting me take you for daily walks.

Thank you for being my light in the dark.

I love you, Muffet and I can’t wait for year two!



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The Best Thing About January

January sucked.

Top to bottom.

I celebrated the new year sick in bed, had two decent weeks and then my whole family was hit with the flu. Lola’s temperature reached as high as 104 one evening and we were so nervous calling her pediatrician every few hours for advice. My entire body hurt so much that I hurt couldn’t get out of bed for two whole days. We were down for the count for almost a week. Each one of us saw the doctor and were prescribed meds. Nasty lingering coughs remain. I know we aren’t alone. Tis the season, right?

What should have been my dad’s 68th birthday was yesterday and that always makes me sad, bitter and grief ridden.

And then this morning, my husband was admitted to the ER. He woke up with a back ache but felt it was more tissue related and went to his gym to see if his trainer could “stretch him out”. Turns out it was/is kidney stones. Five hours at the hospital and four heavy duty pain killers later, he is resting and waiting for them to pass.

Tomorrow is my daughter’s first birthday and I am a mess.

I’m happy for this milestone but melancholy that my baby is no longer a baby. Lola is  toddler, through and through. She’s almost walking and “talking” like crazy. She’s willful and feisty and funny and so sweet. Lola worships her big brother and wants to get into anything that isn’t for babies. She loves to empty drawers, play with remotes and other electronic devices, dive head first down the stairs and squirm and roll over while getting a fresh diaper. We all agree she’s the best thing that ever happened to us.

It was completely surreal being in the same hospital where she was born a year later today.

The best thing about this month is celebrating Lola.

I have been working on a birthday letter to her for several days. I hope to share it here tomorrow, but for now I’ll share these lovely photos my friend, Tereza captured. Lola wasn’t too into the balloons but looked awfully cute just the same.

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These photos are special for a few reasons; I take photos of Lola all the time but haven’t had professional shots taken since she was born and the purple Ralph Lauren dress she’s wearing, it was her cousin, Francesca’s. Francesca is 11 now.

Thank you, Heidi for handing it down.


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