Another great e-mail forward (that’s two in three weeks) sent to me by a fellow mom of three. Thanks, Natalie!
1. It is very hard to determine if you’re really done having children. You are. And then you aren’t. And then you hold a sweet little baby and fall in love. And then the baby poops all over you. It’s very difficult to decide.
2. A well-balanced meal is anything the kids will eat without complaining.
3. When you say you’re going to “slip into something more comfortable,” you mean your favorite flannel pajama bottoms and your Jayhawks hoodie.
5. No matter how many pictures and videos you take, it’s never enough.
6. Sleep is for the weak. And that doesn’t change until the kids are out of the house.
7. Every single emotion you have is heightened with your children. You are happier, angrier, more worried, more defensive, and more devastated when something bad happens to them. All of this is because you love them more than you ever knew was possible.
8. Don’t bother asking a parent about anything interesting, like the latest book read, movie watched, or lecture attended. It all ends with the same word: Nickelodeon.
10. Dinner will never be quiet again. But then it will be too quiet.
11. There is no greater joy than seeing your child succeed at something. A close second though is seeing them fail and pick themselves back up and try again.
12. Watching a child learn to read is one of the joys no one tells you about. It is magical, and it happens so quickly.
13. You can never receive too many handwritten notes or pictures that say “I Love You”, even when they’re not spelled right.
14. The matching $100 sweaters you bought your kids for the holiday picture were totally worth it — even though you ate ramen noodles for the rest of the month. You’ll have that picture forever.
15. No matter how crazy your kids drive you, and regardless of their age, when you peek at them fast asleep at night you can’t help but wonder how you’ve been so blessed.
16. You will lose all practical knowledge and the ability to win at Trivial Pursuit. But you will be an expert on Lightning McQueen, Fancy Nancy or a host of other commercial characters.
17. You may have been a star athlete, drama queen, or chess club champion in your heyday, but your biggest competitive rush now may come from outbidding someone on eBay to win an auction. Probably buying something for your kids.
18. Those guys that wrote Love and Logic must have had nannies to raise their kids.
19. “Walk of Shame” has a whole new meaning when you’re parent. It becomes the 500 feet between your car and the emergency room, carrying your child, who on your watch….
20. Someone needs to write the Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy manual for parents. It is impossible to be prepared for the depth and breadth of questions posed in your child’s lifetime. (“Why does Santa’s wrapping paper look just like yours?”) Parents need a job aid that can be accessed quickly and on the down low.
21. Whenever you hear the phrase “Uh-oh” followed by a long pause, grab your camera and your stain stick and start looking.”
22. In your younger days you would have thought it was too “Big Brother” to microchip your kid. Now, it’s tempting…very tempting.
23. While you used to compulsively check Web sites for great shopping deals, now you compulsively check the sex offender registry to make sure no predators are living nearby.
24. On the rare occasion you get a “date” with your spouse, the conversation revolves around poop, Gymboree and whether or not it’s cool to drive a minivan.
25. When it’s all said and done, no one could have ever explained how you could love so deeply, hurt so badly, tire so quickly, and still experience more joy than you’ve ever known…all for a child.
The best is yet to be.