The other day, I read (and re-tweeted) two lists: 10 Things Never to Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom and 10 Things Never to Say to a Working Mom and both lists got me thinking about my SAHM role.
It’s been almost two years since I became a stay-at-home mom and honestly, I’m still getting used to it.
Sure, I have somewhat of a schedule: music class on Mondays, tumble class on Wednesdays, nanny help for a few hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays and a free-for-all Friday. No matter what, we get out of the house. For my sanity, just as much as Lucas’.
I like to say I’m a stay-at-home mom, that does anything but stay at home.
Apart from the classes, we have passes to Legoland, Disneyland and the zoo. There are also weekly visits to parks, libraries, toy stores, pet stores, book stores and Daddy’s office. When we’re not out and about, we’ve got a host of in-door activities, but if given the option, I’d rather be out! At home, there’s the Internet, TV, laundry and other chores. Plus, some days it feels like the walls are coming in on us.
If I was stuck inside all day every day, I would certainly lose my mind. So while I don’t have meetings to attend or a closet full of suits to wear anymore, I plan, I schedule, I organize, I manage, I orchestrate, I clean, I cook (sort of), I live for nap time, me time and date nights all while staying at home. Whatever that means…
Slowly but surely, I’m learning to embrace being a SAHM, but I’d be lying if I said that didn’t spend a lot of time day dreaming about returning to work full time.
On one hand, I can’t imagine having anyone else spend as much time with Lucas as I get to or allowing them to be such an active participate in his growth and development. I do realize how lucky I am that I am his primary care giver, but on the other hand, there are days that I would give my right arm to have a 7:30 meeting and drop him off somewhere along the way.
It’s an age-old argument, but as I see it, being a mom, stay at home or not, is hard work. No matter where you do it from.
For some, returning to work is a financial necessity and not a choice. I get that. And when I think about being a SAHM in those terms, I know I’m one of the fortunate ones.
Are you at stay-at-home mom? If so, is it by choice? Do you miss working?
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I recently went back to work full time after being at home with my kids for four years. Holy cow! It is an adjustment. While I enjoy the adult interaction of being at work everyday, I really dislike having to miss some of the kids' stuff. 🙁 It's a lose-lose situation….
I'm a new sahm, and am loving it. Financially, we've had to cut a few corners… but it's worth it. I find that my days are more fulfilling now. I feel like I'm actually doing something important… as opposed to when I was working my office job, when I felt like I was just wasting away… waiting for 5pm, so I could see my little boy. My days used to be wasted… now I treasure every single one of them. And, since I've been on both sides of the fence, I completely agree – being a mom can be hard either way. You just need to do what you feel is best for your particular situation.
I am a SAHM, which wasn't the plan. My husband's work schedule is crazy, which meant I'd need to do all daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, and my own job was almost 9-5, but not quite. So between the "not quite" and the fact that my nonprofit-but-I-love-it job salary was sad after daycare costs… Here I am.
I miss my job, I lot. But I also can't imagine dropping the kids off every day. Still looking for that dream high-paying part time job where I can have my cake and eat it, too. Or maybe a little balance.
I am not a SAHM now, but I was a freelancing SAHM for many years. At one point I thought it would be better if I went to work and then came home (rather than do the freelance thing that tended to overtake my life). Well, my advice would be – don't do it! If you can stay at home (or run around in circles) – do it. You blink and they are all grown up. And once you "sell out" it is hard to "unsellout." If you don't like "SAHM" then think of a title you do like.. or no label at all…. just my 2 cents. You can always make the most of being a working mom. I just personally look back w/ a little regret! I guess my kids can be the judge! 🙂
I think it's very brave of you to blog about this and certainly something that Lucas will enjoy reading about and getting your perspective.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I love staying home but sometimes I miss working. But then I think about going back to work and I don't want to do that. It's tough.
I stay home and love it, the only thing I remotely miss is the getting up and taking the time to get ready and look halfway decent everyday. I miss heels and dress clothes but one day in them and I would be happy to go back to my yoga pants.
I nodded my head yes to so much of this! I too tell people I am a stay anywhere but home mom, and sometimes I feel like arranging of our schedule justifies having an assistant! (A diaper trained one preferably)
I didn't plan on being a SAHM, but that's the way things worked out. Now that my kids are getting older, I find myself thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. Whenever that is. 🙂