Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

The Summer Of ’69

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Every now and then I have an undeniable and almost desperate need to be with family, members of my parents family that is.

Specifically my father’s family.

I want to talk about my father, ask questions and hear anecdotes about when he was a boy, a young man, how he was as a brother, an uncle and a friend.

I want to remember and hear about him being alive.

Last weekend, my sister and I took Lucas to visit our aunt and uncle (my father’s middle brother). We haven’t seen one another since Lucas was four months old.

Since my father died, seeing my uncle David will always be bittersweet. The resemblance to my father is uncanny and their mannerisms are so similar. I loved witnessing my uncle interact with Lucas. His tone and actions are so much like I imagine my father’s would be had he lived to be a grandparent. 

One of the highlights of this trip, aside from being with family, was seeing the church my parents were married in 42 years ago on August 23, 1969.

Luckily, my sister carries this photo with her in her wallet. This awful reproduction was taken with my phone and the photo was just what we needed to confirm the exact side of the church my newlywed parents must have exited through, as there are many!

What dreams did they have have for themselves and their future together at the moment this photo was taken. Were they scared? Confident in their choice of life partners? Nervous about the journey that lie ahead, or simply deliriously happy and in love? I hope it was a combination of all four.

Family history is so important. It not only tells us who we are and where we come from, but it helps us remember when we are sad and it is one of the main reasons that I write, so that Lucas may know his (and me) better.

Family history is preserved through our children.

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Comments

  1. Great pictures! You did a great job of capturing just what the trip was all about. It really is bittersweet being around David and Gail. Uncle David is so much like Daddy that it sometimes hurts to be around him. I hope that in time, I’ll only feel happy to be around him. Lucas was indeed a great little traveler. : ) XOXO Love you both more and more everyday.

  2. That gave me chills. I’m glad you were able to go back and visit that church. The memories you pass on to Lucas will mean so much to him.

    I can see your smile in your mom’s face.

  3. How much you miss your parents, Tonya, it pours through each word. Paying tribute to them here, writing down your memories of them, making new ones with your own family – these will all go to Lucas. I hope you take comfort in that.

    • Thank you, Alison. I appreciate your kind words. I’m glad that I was able to convey my loss and love in this piece.

  4. Oh Tonya, first I am so glad that you have gone to learn things about your parents, finding that church is like finding a treasure, a piece of your past. I loved the way you hoped they felt on that day…all those mixed emotions with LOVE on top.

    The church where my parents got married is also the church where each of their children were baptized and my dad’s funeral was …everytime I go back to that area and we pass that church, so many memories come to surface happy and sad.

    I am so glad you went to visit your aunt and uncle, I hope that you found some peace and comfort there, some smiles you could tuck away for those lonely sad days.

    Love u! (and the pictures are great, so cute and happy)

    • Thank you, dear friend. It was a wonderful trip and I loved seeing that church, as hard as it was. It was important.

    • It’s hard to write about but necessary at the same time. Thank you for your sweet words, Galit. xoxo

  6. Tonya, this is a lovely tribute to your parents and to memories. Lucas will someday look at those pictures and read what you wrote and will have gratitude in his heart that you took the time to share this with him (and all of us). I look at those pictures and marvel at how young your parents look–and know that all those things you wrote were probably in their minds. They were a wonderful couple and I am glad to count them as friends.

  7. I know where that church is. I used to live not to far from there. So, this post gave me chills for many reasons! 🙂

    Glad you were able to go back and visit and spend time with your Uncle. And that photo of their wedding day is just wonderful.

    • And now I just got the chills!

      Visiting that church was so special and being with family is everything.

      I appreciate your kind words.

    • Thanks, Rachel. Family history is so important to know, share and remember. I’m glad you feel the same.

  10. What an awesome opportunity! I love that you approach this as a way to teach your Son more about yourself and your life. That’s a great perspective to take!

  14. Family history is important. The church my parents got married at is right across the street from where my sister lives. I think about it every time we drive by even though my parents aren’t married anymore.

  17. Beautiful. You have no idea what it meant to David and me to have you, Lucas and Leah here for the weekend. We loved every minute. It reminded us that life can be joyful in the midst of deep sorrow.

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