Staying Afloat

It’s not unusual for me to leave clothes in the washer or dryer overnight or to walk out of the house wearing my slippers, but it is unusual for me to put Windex in the refrigerator, completely miss an appointment that I not only have on my phone calendar with an alarm reminder, but also on my paper calendar.

That’s not like me.

That’s not like me at all.

It’s not unusual for me to have to reheat my tea three times in the morning, only to forget all about it all together in the microwave, however, boiling a pot of water down to nothing *TWICE* while attempting to make Lucas mac and cheese is very unusual.

I’ve turned into a scatterbrain.

I rewrote a “To Do” list the other day that I already written with exactly the same tasks. I’m religious about my lists, almost can’t function without them, especially my grocery lists, but last week I had to go to the grocery store three times because I kept forgetting items that were clearly marked on my list.

I’m spinning my wheels and something is off. I’m snappy and feel the pressure of just barely staying afloat. Something’s going to suffer, it’s inevitable something’s got it give. Sadly, I fear it has been my blog. I haven’t been sharing my thoughts here as much as I would like to (or need to).

I’ve taken on a freelance writing job at Smart Mom Style, which is something that I have wanted for a long time and I am absolutely loving, but I am CLEARLY struggling with balancing it all, keeping my head above water and staying sane at the same time. I feel behind on everything in my life and all out of sorts. I am trying to find the perfect balance (is there such a thing?!) and until I do, my posts here will be scarce.

It’s an age old mommy problem… trying to balance work, home, exercise, “me time”, couple time and quality time with anybody and anything and all without letting a single ball drop.

How do you balance your life, your career, blog and family? How do you stay in control and keep your cool? When are you most productive? Do you wake up before your children so that you can savor a few precious moments to yourself or are you a night owl, like me and stay up way past your bedtime trying to get it all in? Any tips or tricks would be most helpful and appreciated.

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24 Responses to Staying Afloat
  1. Sherri
    February 20, 2012 | 12:52 pm

    Oh, sweetie! I can understand how you feel. There are times when I feel like I am doing everything in my life half-assed. Sometimes I have to regroup and try to let a few things go. Hang in there, and the Tonya I know and love is NOT a scatterbrain at all!

  2. Cheryl @ Mommypants
    February 20, 2012 | 12:53 pm

    I feel for you. I do. It’s tough feeling like you have too many balls in the air and you’re catching none of them.

    Hang in there, sister…

  3. Practical Parenting
    February 20, 2012 | 12:59 pm

    I completely understand this…I have been feeling the same way lately. I tend to stay up much later than I should, which definitely doesn’t help with the forgetfulness. I started setting an alarm on my phone to go to bed on time! It’s sad, but it reminds me to just stop what I’m doing and take care of me.

    And that new gig? Is awesome :) Focus on that for now, we will all be here cheering you on :)

  4. Nichole
    February 20, 2012 | 1:00 pm

    Oh, my lovely friend.
    I know your pain.

    I still feel that I’m dropping balls, but I have found that when I write, I need to turn off Skype, Twitter, and FB and close out my email. I’m able to write my pieces more quickly that way.

    I also get up before the kids and find that it helps me to get my bearings before the day begins.

    I have also learned to say no. When asked to do something, I have to be completely honest with myself about what I can and cannot handle.

    It does get easier. I promise.

    And I’m right here if you ever just need to vent. xoxo

  5. Jessica
    February 20, 2012 | 1:03 pm

    We all struggle with balance, no matter what we have going on. I usually stay up late at night to take care of my online stuff or I do it during Layla’s hour of relaxing in the afternoon since she no longer naps. Since I have started getting some work online I have been blogging less with both posting on my blog and commenting on other blogs but at some point something has to give. Good luck to you.

  6. Galit Breen
    February 20, 2012 | 1:05 pm

    Congrats on the new gig, friend!

    And oh my, yes- I so get this!

    So much love to you!

    xo

  7. Stephanie
    February 20, 2012 | 3:15 pm

    Congrats on the new writing gig :)

    I am horrible at juggling and honestly, even after cutting things out of my life, I still drop the balls often. One thing I changed that really helped me to drop a few less was to get up early in the morning as opposed to staying up later. I wasn’t really getting anything done at night and was exhausted the next day. If I am working I try and shut off all social media platforms, they are distracting. I have a loose schedule for the day that I try and follow. But no matter what things happen. I get behind. Balls are all over the place. This is why I am lucky to average one post a week on my blog. It is hard to do it all. I am learning to let it all go at the end of the day. Dwelling on what I did not get done never helps. In fact it often hinders. I stress and stress hard. Anxiety takes over and function stops.

    And now that I have gone on and on, I really just want you to know that you are not alone. Do what is most important and makes you happy. Let the other stuff go or become a smaller role. It helps, truly.

  8. Renee Wood
    February 20, 2012 | 3:49 pm

    If you find the answer to balancing it all please let me know ASAP! I’ll be waiting… ;)

  9. Alison@Mama Wants This
    February 20, 2012 | 4:13 pm

    Ah, the elusive balance we all seek.

    I do what I can with online stuff during the toddler’s nap and after he goes to bed – during the week. On weekends, I completely go offline and spend the time with the family, and carve some time out to write at night.

    Hang in there, you’ll find some kind of balance soon. Congrats on the writing gig!

  10. Kate
    February 20, 2012 | 7:06 pm

    Wow! Are you spying on me or in my head somewhere? I can relate to this on so many levels. I struggle daily with finding time for myself, knowing if I do that I can be better in all other areas of my life, only to wind up being completely overwhelmed. Balance is a tricky thing and I have no idea how all areas of our lives can be. Recently I have started staying up too late and wind up being exhausted the entire next day in order to try and write or get other things done. You are not alone in the quest. I try to write early in the morning before I get on twitter, check email, or start any other things on my to do list.
    Congrats on the new gig take the time to enjoy that for now.

  11. Kimberly
    February 20, 2012 | 8:42 pm

    I struggle with this same thing. My life is busier now and I’m taking on more online. I feel like I can barely keep my head up some days. I try to get stuff done when the kids are napping and once they go bed, but I’m still learning.

  12. Elizabeth
    February 20, 2012 | 8:58 pm

    Tonya,
    Oh I can totally relate! Things have been so busy for our family recently and I struggle to be all the things I need to be. I’ve just had to tell myself that some things can just wait. Like last night…my hubby has been sick and the days have been long, so after the girls went to bed, I looked around…saw that the house was a mess and instead of tackling it then and there, I did something I haven’t done in ages…I took a bubble bath! The mess could wait, but the chance for me to unwind and relax couldn’t be put off any longer! I needed it and my family needed me to do it too! Hope you can make some time for you! Hugs…

  13. Grace
    February 21, 2012 | 7:27 am

    Hang in there!! Is there something you can lay aside for awhile as you figure out the balancing act? We use the Remember the Milk app for ALL lists and it automatically syncs between my H and I. Love it :) ((hugs))

  14. Not a Perfect Mom
    February 21, 2012 | 9:59 am

    balance? I think I’m supposed to get that once all my kids are in school and I have a moment to myself…
    and congrats on the writing gig!

  15. ronnie
    February 21, 2012 | 12:45 pm

    OMG – I reheat my tea like 500 times!!!!

    I don’t have any really good advice but don’t forsake your sleep! That cannot be good for anyone. Get your rest!!!

    Oh and one thing I’ve found helpful – try changing the words “have to” to “get to” – like I “have to” go grocery shopping to I “get to” go grocery shopping or I “have to” write three articles to I “get to” write three articles. It’s small but I’ve found it makes things easier (via @michaelhyatt).

  16. Jessica
    February 21, 2012 | 12:59 pm

    Oh Tonya I completely understand this. My plate has been overflowing lately too and I feel like my brain is half in everything instead of concentrating on one thing at a time. You will find balance again soon. I wish I had great suggestions but just know that your blog is your personal space and we will all be here whether you blog once a month or once a week. xo

  17. Angela
    February 21, 2012 | 1:07 pm

    I don’t have lots of answers, but I am definitely a night owl. I’m up way too late all the time.

  18. Sophie
    February 21, 2012 | 6:20 pm

    Sorry, Friend, I don’t have the solution. I guess it gets easier when our kids start school (does it?) Lately, I try to go to bed earlier, because despite the temptation to stay up and make the most of the silence to get on with things, I think sleep is so much more important. I used to sleep only 5 to 6 hours/night until just recently.
    I think you’re coping really well. You’re a wonderful mom, a talented writer, a beautiful wife and you manage to do so many things in a day!!!!! I admire you! BTW, didn’t we get more sleep when we didn’t have iPhones? ;-)

  19. Jessica@Team Rasler
    February 21, 2012 | 9:26 pm

    Yep, I hear you. I made some serious efforts at improving my blog and my connections right before taking on a part-time job and suddenly I just couldn’t balance it all. Blogging is often low enough on the totem pole now that I don’t get to it. I wish there were simple answers, but I think I’m trying for self-forgiveness because balance just isn’t happening. Congratulations on your new writing gig, and I hope that you can forgive yourself your brain flibbits. We’ve all been there!

  20. Christine Candelaria
    February 21, 2012 | 11:59 pm

    I’m sorry to say but this is so comforting to read and totally reflects my blogging thoughts lately. As for balancing it all? I don’t. I can’t. And yet, I continue to try everyday. Except when I have a meltdown…then I call it quits and go to bed early. Sleep is a powerful medicine for me and helps me deal with all the imbalance of trying to do it all.

  21. Jamie
    February 22, 2012 | 7:41 pm

    I go on these wicked roller-coaster rides. You don’t realize how big the drop is going to be until you are almost to the bottom and wishing it would stop. What I do? Walk away, post a picture, something easy. Take a break. Have faith that we will be here when you get back. THIS is supposed to be for you and for your pleasure not for your stress.

  22. Kir
    February 23, 2012 | 6:38 am

    notice, it’s taken me a week or so to get over here…and it’s NOT because I don’t love ya. It’s because I have so many things going on and work has been busy and crazy…so I know how you feel and I just want to hug you. Tell you it’s going to be ok and offer you a cupcake.

    I have so many things I want to write about…funny stories, heartwarming stories etc..but I also want to visit your blog (and others) I want to spend some time with the boys at night and have some small sense of calm.

    You’re doing great..and congrats on the new “job” ..it’s so well deserved :)
    xo

  23. Katie
    February 24, 2012 | 8:38 am

    I don’t juggle it all very well either.

    My brain just can’t remember everything I have to do anymore. Each night I have to run down the next day’s To Do’s. And the weird thing? If I let myself get ahead (like at work with copies or planning), I get confused.

    Sometimes these things happen. And we have to step back, reevaluate and reorganized, and then get back.

  24. Robin @ Farewell, Stranger
    February 29, 2012 | 9:16 am

    Right there with you. I’m sick today and while I feel like crap I’m grateful for the quiet day. (Hence the #commentcrack.) I’m just not balancing it all right now, and I can’t figure out what to do about it.

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