I’m a terrible mother because the three words I loathe the most are: play with me, especially when strung together repeated and delivered in a whinny four year old voice.
I will go round after round and even let him win sometimes at Junior Scrabble, UNO and Connect Four, in fact I love games!
I will ask 20 questions, trying to figure out what he spies with his little blue eyes.
I will search high and low for gel food dye to add to shaving cream to smear all over the shower stall, bend and twist pipe cleaners, clean up glitter and tiny pieces of construction paper and attempt to draw anything he asks me to.
I will create a playlist of his favorite Top 40 hits and have a dance party in our living room.
I will spend hours at Disneyland, California Adventure, Knott’s Berry Farm, Sea World and Legoland with him by my side waiting patiently to go on each and every ride he desires.
I will push him on swings, play hide-and-seek and time him on his scooter as he makes loop after loop around the park.
I will load the car with sand toys, sunscreen and towels in order to to spend the afternoon at the beach building castles, hunting for shells and chasing seagulls.
I will take him to Target knowing full well I’ll be spending most of our trip in the toy aisle agonizing over Cars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other items he has, wants or needs.
I will learn all his favorite characters names and let him quiz me on them.
I will carefully pre-measure ingredients for him to add to bowls and let him try using the mixer on low so he can “help” me bake a cake.
I will pack his backpack with his beloved snacks and activities and take him on many trips to visit family in the Bay Area.
I will read him any of the dozens of books we own over and over all day long.
I will take him to the latest kids movie where we share the biggest bag of popcorn they sell.
I will send mothers I don’t know notes asking if their sons would enjoy coming to our home to spend time with my son.
I will make up silly songs, perform puppet shows with no real story lines and do just about anything to make Lucas smile or laugh.
There are tons of things I will do with my son and thoroughly enjoy, but playing with him is not one of them.
Pushing cars around the floor and having “races” is not fun for me.
I don’t know how to be a ninja and I hate holding toys or stuffed animals in my hand making them have conversations with one another.
It’s not that I feel silly or stupid, I’m just not good at pretending. I think maybe I was once… I loved playing with Barbies but not anymore and I feel guilty because I hear “play with me” A LOT!! And too many times my response is, “let’s go to the park!”.
Do you know how to play with your children? Please tell me I’m not alone in my guilt.
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You do so much with Lucas, Tonya, don’t ever feel guilty!
I don’t know how to play either, I get bored easily with the games the little ones like to play. Don’t feel bad at all!
Thanks, Alison, I really appreciate that. I do do a lot with him, but playing is just so dreadful! I’d rather have an activity or be on the go.
You are NOT terrible. In fact, you sound like a downright badass mom. The free form play thing is HARD. when my gals really need me to “just play,” I try to let them direct me. It’s really, really hard.
Thanks! I wish I felt more bad ass. (: Free form playing stinks!! I’m sure I was good at it once, but not anymore.
Sigh.
Girl… all of that is totally playing with him, and you do WAY more playing than I do. I’m not good at any of it. Besides, it is good for him to learn how to play (spend time) by himself. You don’t always have someone to entertain you. A mom I really admire has told her kids, “I’m not here for your entertainment.” I’ve started using that with mine sometimes.
I love that phrase and just might start using it myself. It is SO true! Thank you.
You are so not alone. I think this is really common. But you know what? You are playing with him. All that IS playing with him (and it’s better than I do most days).
I’ve always seen you as someone who does really well at interacting with her child and having fun. You do so much, and so many different things. Some of that play stuff is hard. I don’t like it either. And “Mom, will you play with me?” causes me to hold my breath too. And yes, the guilt. The guilt! All the time.
It’s totally not just you. 🙂
Wow! You do a lot and it all counts as play. All of it. It’s OK to be geniune and not do things that you don’t want to. Really. It’s so much better than faking it. And for the record, all our stuffed animals voices drive me insane. I’d rather clean the toilets than watch another stuffed animal birthday party (a very common thing at my house).
Does it? I’d so much rather clean toilets, train for a marathon, have a root canal and wait in line at Disneyland for the Dumbo ride for two hours than make up voices for stuffed animals!
I am right there with you. I dread hearing the words, “Mommy, play with me.” All my kids do is play with their Barbie Dolls and it is SO NOT FUN!
Glad I’m not alone. Sigh.
With the girls, yes. Ethan, no. And I feel guilty about it too. Ethan plays boy things that never interested me as a kid or now. I tried to play Minecraft with him and was a HUGE failure 😉
The girls want to do my hair and serve me a meal playing restaurant or house…or my favorite…babysit their baby dolls. All of that I can do!
Interesting. So, maybe it’s a gender thing? Here’s hoping…
Uuuh. But you do! You do play with him! All day long it seems. I send mine down to watch TV! (gulp) 🙂
I hate to play. But I’m pretty good at listening when they’re upset, hugging, encouraging and chasing away insecurity, and teaching them.
I do feel busy… and like we are on the go a lot!
We try to avoid screen time as much as possible, but he gets to watch an hour or two every other day or so. He LOVES it!!
No I’m a terrible mother. I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “I mom, I don’t play.” 🙂 That is what siblings and pets are for!
I’m with you! Thank goodness I’m finally getting this boy a playmate.
You are so not alone. But all of the things that you will do sound like they make up really fun days!
I’m actually better at playing with Z than I am with Zoe (Chobe is no longer interested although she’ll play with him too). Maybe it’s because he’s younger? But I can fly around toys and be the puppy (complete with panting and barking, TYVM. I am a VERY good puppy). But when Zoe wants to play with her dolls and make them talk to each other? I find it so difficult and I LOVED dolls when I was her age. It’s all so weird. Do what you enjoy and believe me, he feels it when you’re into it, even if it’s at the park instead of on the floor.
I just learned so much from your post. As in eyes wide open! Ideas, inspiration, what I’m great at, and what I can totally improve on. You are such a pretty flippin’ fantastic mom! Lucas and Baby January 🙂 are so lucky to grow up and be loved by you. Then again, I’m pretty sure both of them hand picked you!
Oh man, you are not alone! And I don’t even do HALF of the things you list here. Playing is a kid’s job, and I am no good at it.
You are a great mom for doing the things that you do with him. And isn’t it wonderful that you are leaving it up to him to be able to entertain himself?
True, I too would rather play any number of those many board games he has then sit on the floor and race cars with him. However, I do think that the older he gets, the more he’ll want to just play games or go do physical stuff. Don’t you think? And thank goodness, he enjoys playing with his cars and the little figurines on his own! That independent play that he does is awesome!