While I know can’t control anything about my baby’s arrival, I can create a birth plan, the in a perfect world, if the stars are aligned, ideal scenario of how I’d like my baby’s birth to be handled.
Long before I was pregnant with Lucas, I had always wanted a natural un-medicated birth without unnecessary medical or chemical intervention whatsoever and whenever I would express this to family and friends, I would get an eye roll or pat on the shoulder with a condescending, “oh, okay”. I didn’t know anyone who had done this before, although much of my mother’s delivery of my sister had been un-medicated and I figured if she could do it, I could too. Plus, I have a high tolerance for pain and I felt it was what our bodies are designed to do, so why not let them do it?
Upon getting pregnant I did my research, because knowledge is power. I read everything I could get my hands on, watched documentaries, talked to doctors, doulas, midwives and women who had both successful and scary home births and women who had had prolonged hospital labors with and without drugs. I wanted to learn everything I could about positive and negative effects of epidurals, Pitocin, and other drugs and intervention, C-sections and creating the best possible birthing team.
At the end of all my research, I decided that this was a very personal choice and that only I had the power to plan the kind of birth that was right for me. The birth experience is a very personal thing. It’s not for me to say what you should do, but I can tell you what I chose to do.
I chose to hire a doula to help guide me through labor and delivery, labor at home for as long as I could, but deliver at the hospital and completely without drugs.
Once I made this decision and shared it with anyone who asked, the “oh, okay’s” were back and I could tell that no one really believed I could or would go through with it, including my own OB/Gyn!
Guess what? I did it! And yes, it was a pain like I had never experienced before or since and it most certainly did not happen how I had planned hoped; my doula never showed up, my soothing birth day playlist was never played, candles weren’t lit and all breathing and visualization techniques were forgotten, but my labor went extremely fast and by the time we arrived at the hospital I was already 8 centimeters dilated and my water broke on the delivery table. The nursing staff was incredibly supportive and empowered me in just the ways I needed.
I was an active participant in my child’s birth and that was all I cared about. Neither of us were doped up afterwards and within a couple of hours, I could get up and walk around.
Lucas, just hours old.
I hope to have a similar experience with baby #2, but only time will tell…
What kind of delivery did you plan for and what kind did you end up having?
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Tonya,
I really admire your convictions, your dedication, and your determination. I can’t wait for this baby to come, and I can’t wait to hear your new birth story!
I wish hindsight wasn’t 20/20, and I wish I could have a do-over with Piper’s birth. So I’m living vicariously through you!
xo
I know that anything can go wrong, but I’m really (really) hoping it all plays out perfectly like in my mind. Fat chance, huh?
I hope you have the exact same delivery for your little girl, except that you have your doula this time 😉
I had planned, wanted, prepared myself for a natural delivery for my first. I didn’t want an epidursl abd wanted to “feel” my baby’s birth! Unfortunately, after 17 hours on the delivery table, different manipulations done by my obgyn (some of which were really painful…), an unhelpful midwife, ocytocine injected, an epidural as the contractions further to the ocytocine were way more painful and violent than natural ones, my first baby’s birth ended up in a C-Section and I was separated from her for 10 hours (as I was so druged up by then). I was so far from the natural birth plan I had decided and so “traumatised” and upset for months (still am). Thank goodness the baby was fine. She was 8,8 lbs. For my second baby I had hoped for a natural birth too, but was informed 10 days prior to the due date that I was going to have to undergo a second c-section as my daughter was another big baby and that it was too dangerous to attempt a VBAC. However, I was able to hold my daughter and BF her a couple of hours later. For my third I knew I was going to have a C-section from the beginning of my pregnancy. My baby boy was born 3 weeks before the due date and weighed over 8.8 lbs 🙂 My Obgyn asked a nurse to take pictures of the birth (I can share them with you if you want to see them), and it’s wonderful to have them. My hubby wasn’t allowed in the OR for any of the births. I’ve always heard that second births are always faster than the first! Sending you lots of love xoxo
No doula this time. I found the nursing staff is was just as good as coaching me.
I hope it all plays out exactly the way I hope, but I know that anything is possible, anything can go wrong and that I am not really in control of any of it.
Thank you for sharing your birth stories.
I can’t believe Luc wasn’t allowed in the OR. That seems so 1950’s to me.
I must say, bravo for you!
As I live in The Nerterlands and the whole pregnancy & giving birth is totally different than anywhere in the world, I can’t really compare it, but would love to share!
The Dutch love a saying: act normal because we are crazy enough as it is! This also applies to pregnancy & giving birth! We only go to a OB/Gyn if you have a “special” pregnancy (difficulties, twins, etc.) everyone els just goes to the local mid-wife, as I did!
If you want to deliver in hospital (without a medical reason) your insurance doesn’t cover the cost… We do home deliveries, everyone does!
They do come to your house (before the baby is due) to check if you have everything ready (you receive a home delivery box, special things to higher your bed, and all the other “things” you need) from the home Delivery office!
Medicals during birth????? Is NOT done!
I must add, we live in a closely dens country and you have to live within 20 minutes drive (ambulance) from a hospital!
When you start labor call the mid-wife, when you can still talk, nothing’s wrong…. Call again later… So you do!
When you can’t say anything through the phone anymore, then she comes… From the moment you are really going into delivery, you have one and a half hour to deliver your baby… If your baby isn’t there in that time, you are of to hospital, (and when that happens, you are covered)!
I had both my kids in my own house, my own bed without medical assistance, and I’m grateful and blessed I did (and yes it was painful, but I’m still here)!
In every country it’s done different, but how you want to deliver, is the only important thing!
I am blessed that where I live, and had my baby’s everything is possible, except getting drugs during child birth!
Tonya, I wish for you a wonderful delivery, without (too) much pain! You can do it!
I like the way they do it in The Netherlands. The idea of having a baby at home is really appealing to me, but I think I’d be too afraid.
Thank you for sharing your birth stories and how things are done in your part of the world.
xoxo
I’ve had 2 C-sections, one semi emergency, so I have never experienced natural birth. But I will tell you that it scares the bejesus out of me. When I was trying to decide whether or not I wanted to try a VBAC with Zoe, my doctor said “Are you just DYING to have a vaginal delivery?” Uh, no. C-section it was. I’m glad you know what you want!
It hurts as much as you think and then some, but I knew/know deep down inside that I can do it! I’m a determined mommy. We’ll see… anything can happen!
My first birth plan was – get the epidural if I had to, and as much as possible, have a natural delivery, but if it had to come down to it and I needed intervention or a C-sec, I would have agreed to that.
My second birth plan? Give birth. 🙂
I hope you have a lovely 2nd birth experience!
I like your plan the second time around. You really can’t plan for these little people to enter the world. Anything can happen.
I had midwife and completely natural with both my kids (although I think I might have gotten a painkiller suppository with my first, because it lasted forever) and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Midwives are great, I felt very well taken care of and yes, I was able to get up and walk around within an hour or so.
I hope it works out exactly as you want it to!
I LOVED being able to get up and walk around and not being groggy or out of it. I’m all about natural child birth, but I know that it’s sort of out of my hands. Stay tuned…
I was induced with my oldest because my water broke early. So at that point, my plan sort of went out the window. It was a completely different experience with my second – so fast and completely natural.
I hope that your second birth experience is as great as your first!
Me too! I’ll let you know… Eek.
My first birth plan: no epidural, because I had a friend who had one and six months later could still feel twinges of pain in the spinal tap site.
My second: get the epidural as soon as humanly possible. By the time I had our daughter I was half in love with the anesthesiologist.
Oh my goodness!! Six months later. That scares the crap out of me. If I hadn’t already been 8 cm dilated when we got to the hospital, I would have BEGGED for drugs, but at that point, I was already there. It hurts, A LOT, but I can do it! I hope.
xoxo Tonya. Sending you the very best birthy vibes. ~~~~
Thank you! I’m going to need them. (:
I hope that your labor with baby girl Wertman is just as quick and you are able to go through it without drugs too like you want. I’ll be in the waiting room if I can or still struggling to leave work sending you lots and lots of good and strong vibes! XOXO
It’s going to go down however it goes down, I’m really not in control, but thank you! And yes, hurry your ass down here once you get the word. xoxo
I had an unmedicated (VBAC!) with my second, and it was totally what I needed. Yes, painful and hard, but I managed and it was fine. Totally my choice and not right for everyone, but being able to have choice is such an important thing. I hope you get what you’re hoping for with this birth too!