Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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It’s Not All About Me

Posted on April 17, 2010 Written by Tonya

Motherhood is based on many challenges and I know that my journey has only just begun, but having said that, I am enjoying the ride too. I do, however, have a few complaints:

  • I didn’t have a child to have finger prints all over my glass doors, windows and walls.
  • I don’t appreciate changing countless diapers, especially the stinking, smelly ones!
  • We don’t have a dog, so the Cheerios, puffs, tiny pieces of cheese, chicken, carrots and whatever else you decide to throw on the floor are not fun to pick up.
  • It never used to take me twice as long to get out of the house, but with as much gear as you require, even the simplest outings can be painstakingly difficult.
  • I never really minded doing laundry once a week, but now it’s never-ending! There are so many piles that I’m starting to feel sorry for the washer and dryer.
  • Before I had a child, I used to think I was busy. What a laugh!
  • Call it my post-pregnancy brain or just the fact that you go through A LOT of stuff, but seriously, how many times can one person visit the grocery store in a week? I think my record is five!
  • Can someone please explain to me how a 10 month old’s nails grow so fast? And I will not take “calcium” as an answer!
  • Scheduled date nights? Really?
  • I didn’t ask for any of the guilt, lack of energy, worry or anxiety.
  • I used to love our home, but now that you have taken up every. single. room., coupled with the fact that we spend entirely too much time here, I want to redo it from top to bottom or move.
  • No matter how hard this job gets, I can’t quit.
  • It’s not all about me.

ON THE OTHER HAND, motherhood is full of wonderful blessings and benefits too:

  • I never knew my heart could hold so much love.
  • No one has ever looked at me/right through me like you have.
  • I have discovered that I am a lot stronger than I thought… physically and emotionally. Any mom that can hold a child in one arm, while feeding them a bottle, collapse a stroller with the other, have an over sized diaper bag around their neck stepping on to an airplane without assistance has to have super powers, right?!
  • I didn’t think I could life in the moment or roll with the punches as well as I do. You can cry one minute and laugh the next. You love the feeling of the wind, touching plants and trees and playing peek-a-boo. Your natural appreciation and wonder at the world is good for my soul too.
  • I never thought I’d hear myself sing so many silly songs so off key. I appreciate tapping into my creative side.
  • The moms I have met since becoming one myself are some of the kindest, most generous and understanding woman I have ever met. I am proud to be a member of this elite club.
  • I love it whenever you see me, you smile bigger than anyone ever has before.
  • I love your dad more than ever and can’t believe that together we created a whole life…from scratch.
  • It’s not all about me.

The hardest part of motherhood by far is soaking up the good parts without obsessing about the bad and above all being patient with myself. I am a work in progress.

The best is yet to be.

Day 53/100

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Filed Under: challenges, change, motherhood

Comments

  1. Leah says

    April 17, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Love this list. While u may not seriously believe this but sometimes I think you've been a mother for much longer than 10 months. You already seem to have such wisdom and knowledge of the mothering world. So, don't ever for a second doubt yourself and your abilities as a mom.
    So true, its not all about you anymore. Honestly, I feel that too when I come stay with you guys. And I am totally cool with that. I like feeling like it's not all about me when I come visit you. It's so sweet knowing that are other things more precious and important in my life. Does that even make sense to you? I hope so… : )

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