It had been five years.
Five years of old wounds, words left unexpressed, tears and pride.
Five years with zero communication.
No I hope you are smiling today text messages, no family photos were e-mailed, no three hour phone calls just because, no humorous you’ll always be older birthday cards or holiday greetings. There were no weekend visits or three glasses of wine long lunches.
Silence.
Regret.
Loss.
It was as if their connection, their friendship never even existed.
One
Two
Three rings
Part of her was relieved when she saw the name appear on her phone screen, although, it was after midnight. What a strange time to choose to extend an olive branch she thought.
The name she saw illuminated in the dark was one that had crossed her mind so many times as she wondered how the person who it belonged to was doing. She would always silently send love and light and then would go on about her day.
She was relieved to see the name now because at last, the ice had been broken and she was grateful that she hadn’t had been the one to take the first step.
She was angry too. At herself. She should have been the bigger person, she should be the one reaching out.
Lastly, she was surprised that the name and number were still stored in her phone. But, then again of course they were.
Four
Five
Six rings.
Letting the call go to voice mail would be the easiest course of action and the most cowardly.
She turned on the lamp on the bedside table, took a deep breath and answered the call.
Before she could say a word, she heard:
“Hello, I’m Sean.”
Who? Was he crying?
“You don’t know me. I’m your sister’s husband.
What the hell? She got married?! I suppose a lot can happen in five years.
I’m using her phone. I, um found your number in her contacts.”
She still has my number in her phone too.
“Okay?”
There was a long pause and a very heavy sigh and somehow she knew that the next words out of his mouth would change her life forever.
“Well, you see, um, there has been an accident. She didn’t make it.”
“What?”
“Your sister and our daughter died tonight in a car accident. I thought you should know.”
Silence.
Regret.
Loss.
Nothing would keep me from talking to my sister! This post is fiction and was written for The Red Dress Club’s writing assignment, Red Writing Hood. This week’s prompt was to write a piece surrounding the following details: In the middle of the night, you get an urgent call from a friend you haven’t talked to in years. Something terrible has happened. What is it and why is he/she calling you?
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I enjoyed every word of this story. It was built up really well, and had me wanting to get to the end to see what happened. Sad ending, but somehow, apt.
well done. wow. powerful stuff.
So good. Soooo good. I feel sick, and also truly touched. I need to get to bed and now i may not be able to. Just have to remind myself it is fiction. Wow. Really fantastic writing.
This was so good. I mean, really good.
I'm so glad you added at the bottom that this was fiction.
Great job with the prompt. I would never want that phone call.
Must admit that you are one of the coolest bloggers I ever saw.
Christmas Letters
good job. and very much hitting home, I am afraid.
So well done, you have to continue with these characters. Before these moments and after. They are so real and you have me hooked.
Great build up of tension – I was practically screaming at her to pick up the phone already!!
Oh..my…gosh…how sad. I nearly cried at the end. Great job!!!
"somehow she knew that the next words out of his mouth would change her life forever."
Love that line – we always think in the back of our minds about "that" middle of the night call – hope to never receive one.
This was very well done!
~d
I figured you were talking about an old friend – and to realize it was her sister? Genius. Good build-up. Great post!
Ooh, this is good. Love that it was her sister – how heartbreaking – and the addition of the daughter in the news was just the perfect touch. Nice work, T!
WOW! Gripping. Heart wrenching. Bravo.
Very nice Tonya, powerful. Made my heart drop into my stomach.
Oh my gosh, LOVED IT!
If this was a teaser for a book, I would go and get it immediately!
This was a tough one. Well written, but not easy to read. I just reunited with my older sister after many years of being cut off. I always worried about this exact scenario. Fortunately, I got the second chance.
I liked how you wrote her thoughts prior to answering the phone and the dialogue. This was well written.
p.s.
Due to construction at my site (posts disappear without warning), I have moved my story to a friend's site. If you want to read it, go here http://www.shadesofcrimson.com/2011/04/14/guest-post-the-call/. I would love your thoughts about the story.
This post made me swallow dry and hard a couple of times. I am so glad it's fiction, but it might have happened to somebody for real. Terrific writing for the prompt they gave.
Well written and oh so sad!
I love the build up to the end. I got major chills at the ending too. SO sad. This is a also good reminder to make sure we talk to and tell the ones we love that we do. Nice job on this!
Wow! This left me speechless! Well written.
-Jessica
http://mommiesblog2011.blogspot.com/
Great job with the TRDC prompt! I can't tell you how glad I was that this was fiction. I agree, nothing could keep me from my sister for that long either.
Wow.
Wonderfully written.
Really awesome. Very powerful. I kept wanting to read more.
Really gripping, Tonya!
Makes me wonder why they were estranged, though..Five years without speaking to my sister? It would have to be something really terrible.
Wow, with so few lines you have me right there in her soul. I loved this piece. Your word choices and organization really bring this piece to the quality it is. Thanks for posting this.
Wow! This is the first piece that actually left me with GOOSEBUMPS!!!
So,so, sad! And full of regret…oh- this was great from the very first sentence to the very last!
holy.
crap.
that is all i can say. seriously.
love your writing, the concept is what's hard for me!
Well written.
And what a sad story. You never know how long you have.
To say "I love you".
How sad. I love the way you built up the anticipation before answering the phone. The gratefulness and regret for the phone call…A tearjerker for sure!
This was really well written T! I am so grateful this will never be our true story.. But you do owe me about 8 phone calls! Haha! XOXO
My heart just broke.
Please, please go bring her back to life with the other prompt!
Awesome job, Tonya!
Even though it's fiction, my heart hurts for her. The tension is built up very well, and I am so excited for her as she gets excited about the call and talks about how she should have been the first to reach out. Heartbreaking that it's too late 🙁
One little thing didn't flow perfectly to me. In the fourth paragraph, I would take out the "were" to make it "no family photographs e-mailed" because it seems to flow better with the rest of the listed things.
I'm only mentioning it, because I feel like the rest of the piece just moves seamlessly forward. Excellent job!
this made me cry.
beautifully written,
i wish it wasn't almost 2am here, because i would most def be calling my sisters. i DID talk to both of them earlier today (yesterday) but still, stuff like this is a beautiful reminder!!
thanks for that!
There's such a sincerity to this piece, I had to do a double take at the end to be sure it read "fiction." Great job!
I agree with Nichole! bring her back to life with the other prompt!
also…now I feel like I am missing a HUGE story!
Great internal dialogue!
Wow! Seriously Tonya, you are an amazing writer!
So much suspense and the story rose right from the beginning. Loved it, though it made my heart sink.
Makes you realize that nothing is ever that bad that you can't mend family. beautifully done.
This broke my heart…but at the same time, I wanted to read more.
I know several people who just can't stand their sisters, but how much would be lost to not maintain that bond…