Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Advice To New Mothers

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I certainly do not claim to be an expert, in fact very far from it, but here are a few things I know for sure about motherhood:

1. No matter how many anti-bacterial products you use or times you wash your hands or your child’s hands throughout the day, children are a cesspool of germs and it won’t just feel like your family is sick all the time, you will be.

2. You will go DAYS, especially in the beginning without sleep, a shower, a hot meal and/or make-up. There may even be days when you barely have a free moment to brush your teeth. This is just a phase and does pass.

3. It’s okay to mourn your old life and the days when it was just you and your husband; the days before diapers, Goodnight Moon, the Elmo theme song running through your head 24/7 and apple sauce stains on your shirt. It wasn’t that long ago and anyone that tells you that they can’t remember their life before their baby, is LYING!

4. I am convinced that no matter how sweet and innocent children seem on the outside, they are deviant and cunning on the inside. They may be new here, but they’ve got your number and know all the right buttons to push. Beware!!

5. Babysitters are worth every single penny because date nights and “me time” are absolutely essential to surviving motherhood. Having large quantities of wine on hand is good also.

6. Children are a lot more expensive than you budgeted for. A lot! They grow like weeds and get bored quickly, so the more comfortable you get with hand-me-down clothes and toys, the better.

7. You will lose the baby weight. It may take six months or three years, but you will and you can IF you put your mind to it.

8. You’ll hear it a million times and eventually repeat it, too: it goes by fast, so let the dishes sit and the laundry wait and enjoy the baby days, the milestones, sweet, tender moments and the magic.

9. Trust your instincts and listen to your gut, you know a lot more than you give yourself credit for.

10. As soon as your newborn enters the world and your eyes meet theirs, you will know true love and joy as you have never known it before. Here’s hoping you can recall that gaze at 3 o’clock in the morning when your tot throws up all over his bed and then yours and then his again. Yep, that was a very long night.


Linking up this week with Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley! This week’s topic: 10 Tips For New Moms was chosen by Cookies Mom.

This post was originally written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, 5.) Advice to new mothers (September 14, 2011).

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Comments

  1. All good advice. Children cost way more than we expect but they are worth it. And those late night puke sessions are no fun but we still love our kids while we are cleaning it up while we are at the same time hoping they can make it to the bathroom the next time.

  5. What a really wonderful post! Every point is so true and important for new moms to read. When you’re in the middle of those first days, months or even year it’s nice to know that there are words of wisdom from women who have been there and got through it..they survived (wink)

    I love #3….9 and of course 10….motherhood is the hardest but Best thing I’ve ever done.

    Really liked this Tonya.

    • Agreed. Motherhood is the hardest job I’ve ever had too. I like that: survivors. In the early days, that’s exactly what it feels like… surviving. Barely.

  6. I gave my younger brother that advice about the budget. I said whatever you THINK a baby costs, double it, and if you can do that, then you might have enough. He didn’t listen to me 😉

    • No one ever does. I guess some things just have to be learned the hard way. Especially when it comes to having children.

  7. I mentioned instincts in my post too; so important! And I’m just figuring out how truly expensive these kids are now that all three of them are in organized sports! Gonna break me!

  8. You hit on all the key points and didn’t forget about the importance of wine! Very nice. It wasn’t until after having two kids that we realized just how important it was to have a sitter. She has saved our sanity more times than we can count!

    • We are blessed to have my sister only an hour away, so we see her [read: use her loving baby sitting care] at least once a week!

  9. These are great tips!! Wine DOES help! Following your instincts is key. You are the mommy, and you know if something is going on with your baby or not. Don’t take no for an answer if you have concerns!

  11. Funny… I just got back to the computer after putting vomit-chunked sheets in the laundry. I’ve had a sick kid home from preschool for too many days. I’m tired and grumpy. But yeah… I remember that baby love.

    And maybe I’ll go get myself a stiff drink.

    • Thanks so much. As I recall, my husband was away on business that long, dreadful and laundry-filled night. Ugh!

  14. These are ALL so true!

    I wish I’d known #9 from the get-go. This is great advice to new moms!

    I would have to add that they may continue to pee the bed until they are like 18… (Forgive me, I washed sheets a lot this week…) 😉

    • We haven’t quite started potty training for that very reason!

      I still and probably always will struggle with #9.

    • You are?! How exciting. What are you having? Congratulations. Refer to this list often and enjoy the ride. 🙂

    • You are so welcome and i appreciate your saying so! I wish I had been told some of these things when I was pregnant. Live and learn, right?

      Congratulations, by the way!

  17. Couldn’t agree more with #9 – I can think of sooo many examples when I have and been spot on and unfortunately when I haven’t and should have. Such great advice!

  19. Me time is definitely important!! As for the baby weight…ya, five years later and I’m still working on it. But I’ll get there 🙂

  20. I think the most important thing to remember and pass along to new mothers is that time passes quickly. It doesn’t SEEM like it does on the days when you’re running off of 2 hours of sleep and ran out of coffee…but it REALLY does.

  21. So so happy that he has such great people helping take care of him. It is so wonderful when people love and care about their jobs.

  23. Thank you for admitting to #2 and #4 , not many do. And your #6 is so true. Great post Tonya, thank you for sharing, I actually missed it the first time around.

  24. I believe so too about no.4. I keep asking myself -“where do they learn these things?!” It’s innate I tell you.
    Thanks for the enjoyable read! 🙂

  27. I reallly enjoyed the list. I think garage sales are an excellent place to get baby things, they are used so little and there is usuallyl tons to choose from! You are right no one forgets the pre baby days…my kids are grown and I don’t forget however, I can say that all the post baby days when you think you are going to go stark raving mad seem so minor when you reach those other days you talked about when time goes so fast and they are grown! On the bright side though kids are very fun as adults!

  29. Fantastic list! It is a good thing babies are so darn cute. It makes the exploding poopy diapers and late night puking worth it. They do cost a heck of a lot more than you think. But there is such a reward in having them!

  32. Laundry and dishes are sitting. I’m at four years, but the baby weight is now off (I guess that two-ice-cream cones per day summer didn’t help much). Listening to my gut (not matter how big it gets). Great tips, Tonya! 🙂

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