While at the park today, someone asked me if I was Lucas’ babysitter.
Could it have been the hoodie and Converse sneakers that prompted the question?
It certainly wasn’t the lines on my face or the hair pulled up in a bun on top of my head.
Or was it?
Don’t we look alike?, I thought.
Don’t we have the same blue eyes?
If you spent any time with the two of us together, you’d recognize in an instant the same short temper, extremely strong will and an inability to sit still for too long.
If you listened to us, you’d hear the same phrases coming out of our mouths and inflection in our voices.
If you watched us chasing each other across the grass, you would have heard the infectious laughter than only two people that spend as much time together as we do can share.
If you looked closely, you’d see an immeasurable love and a bond so pure that only parent and child can share.
If you could look into my head, you’d realize how much space is occupied by thoughts of this boy’s well-being, including his daily nutrition intake, overall health and happiness, growth, sleep cycles, education, relationships, and striving to be the best role model I can be.
I wish you could see the way he reaches for me as if I’m the only person in the world .
We have the same blood running through our veins and his heart is mine as mine is his.
Babysitter?
No. I am way more than his babysitter, “I’m his mom.”, I stated proudly.
I’m lucky enough to be his mom.
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Simply beautiful, T.
I’ve felt like this a few times, especially since my son is mixed-race and hired help in Malaysia going out with the kids is SO common.
But you’re absolutely right, I AM his mom and I state that proudly. Each time.
I also try to make more of an effort to look less bedraggled now 🙂
First I think that might be a compliment, you look YOUNG and beautiful 🙂
but I can only imagine how you’d feel. I know how I’d feel..and how I’d answer, with pride and a shaking teary voice…because I’d want that person to know how much I struggled for the right to be called mom, their mom.
I loved every thing about this post, what a gorgeous testament to LOVE. xo
Lovely post Tonya. I am sure they just meant you looked way too young to be his mom…
I became a nanny at 19. I never wanted people to assume I was the children’s mom, so whenever someone would ask, I would promptly set them straight. Although I cared for all of those children as if they were my own. It wasn’t the same as actually giving birth to them (or for those of you who have adopted children-adopting) I was pregnant with my first son while I nannied for twins and used to get such stares.
I remember the first time I took my newborn son out. I was ready and proudly anticipating the questions~how old is your baby? etc. A group of woman approached his coach and began making a fuss and without skipping a beat one of them says, “oh he is so cute & chubby, did you adopt him!” LOL
Love the way you wrote this~its heartfelt and sweet.
love this though I wouldn’t mind being mistaken for the babysitter…not likely as I am 40 something 🙂
because I was in my very early 20’s when I had my first and second, most people assumed I was the nanny…and then were shocked to learn I was the mother and in fact married their dad before I was pregnant…
it always burned me up…
state it proudly!
Oh your love, your heart, your mothering – all stunning. xo
I love this love letter. I think it must be because you look too young to be his mother 🙂
But – I LOVE that you felt all these heart warming emotions. Cause I feel them too… Being a mom is awesome – huh? I sometimes just want to capture them in a frame and love them this way forever. Great post.
ah, this made me smile.
Even after almost 3 years of being Eddie’s mom, it’s still fun to claim him 🙂
This is such a proud momma post! I hope Lucas gets these posts wrapped up with a bow someday. He will love them.
This so beautifully written! You handled this so much better than I did when I had a similar experience 11 years ago. I had my youngest son (who is bi-racial) out at a park as we watched his older brother run in a cross country track meet and a woman actually paid me a compliment by saying, “The best nannies bring children to this park.” I immediatly snapped at her, I AM HIS MOTHER!!!
The experience reduced me to tears and aroused in me so many unspoken feelings that I had not acknowledged as the parent of a bi-racial child. As I sat receiving comfort from another parent, the comedian Robin Williams (who had heard the entire exchange) chimed in and said, “Well don’t you see the family resemblance? Please excuse her Dr. Einstein someone forgot to look up the Neanderthal.” Laughter erupted and I felt better but oh I can still feel the pain of that experience and I understand when you say, “I’m his mom.” I too am lucky.
So perfect Tonya, I have been asked this for years and years with my oldest and it is amazing all the love and work of a mom that people don’t see at first glance.
You’re just so hip and young, that’s all…;)
So sweet. I love that the moment inspired you to write this.
Lovely.
“I’m his Mom!”
He must just Loooove YOU sooo much. X
This question surprises me because when I see pictures of Lucas I see you in him. You are lucky to be his mom and he is lucky to have you.
Babysitter? I guess that’s a compliment implying that you look young. (Which I think you do. But not like a babysitter.)
Funny how little moments like these can make us so grateful for these little people.