I am overwhelmed.
I’m finding it hard to breathe.
Everywhere I look, plastered floor to ceiling are beautiful cards.
Tiny Prints, Minted, Shutterfly.
Matte, glossy, squares, rectangles, flat and folded.
Brand new fresh faces.
Blank stares.
Scrawny bodies.
Sleeping angels.
Loving welcome messages.
Kind letters of gratitude to the skilled doctor.
I feel space around me closing in.
Dates.
Weights.
Lengths.
First, middle and last names.
Beaming new parents smile back at me.
There are also photos of the good doctor with the new bundles of joy.
I’m fighting tears now.
I read biblical verses like: “Every good and perfect gift is a gift from above.” James 1:17 on more than one card.
Dreams do come true.
Believe!
The prince has arrived.
It’s a boy!
It’s a girl!
Twins!
Meet the newest member of our family!
We’ve been blessed.
Our wish came true.
Our prayers have been answered.
I can’t bear it.
I stand up and calmly walk toward the door.
I’ll reschedule for another time when I’m not feeling so weak.
And then, my name is called.
As I am ushered to a room, I pass the receptionist’s desk and I grab a business card.
I am hopeful.
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I’m sorry. I undertsand how all these new babies announcements can make you so vulnerable. I also know that those new babies are messages of hope. One day you’ll be the one with the smile on your face. You are allowed to be weak. Sending you all my good thoughts and love. XOXO
Vulnerable… that’s the perfect word for it. And I know from time to time it’s okay to be weak. I just wish I knew when those moments would hot me, you know? xoxo
I remember these days. I’m here if you need me. Xo
I know you are, thank you, Natalie. xoxo
I’m so sorry. That must be overwhelming and hopeful, invasive and distant all at the same time. I am glad you are feeling hopeful.
I’d be nothing without hope! Even on my worst days, I remain hopeful.
I don’t know how hard this is, I can only imagine.
I’m so sorry.
There is hope. Hold on to that.
Much love. xo
Holding on with two hands so tight I’m bleeding. 🙂
What a double-edged sword, those announcements, showing the possibilities and also a reminder of what you want so badly. Sending hope your way.
Yes! Like a juxtaposition of infertility.
Thank you for your support and understanding, Angela.
I can only imagine how difficult it is for you and still not fully understand. Like the others I have hope for you and that soon we will be seeing one of those special announcements from you. Hugs.
Thanks, Jackie. Me too.
There were three years that went by that I absolutely dreaded opening the mail or answering the phone. *hugs*
Some days are definitely a lot harder than others but there is always hope.
There is hope. I’m sending you all of mine with extra love. xo
And I’ll take it, thanks, Kimberly. xo
Don’t lose your hope.
It’s all I’ve got.
I don’t know why or where exactly this comes from, but I know for a fact that you will have another child one day. I don’t know when or by what means exactly, but it will happen. I just know that all this work/effort that you are putting into it will pay off in the end. If you ever feel yourself losing hope, remember that I have plenty for you. XOXO
I remember when I walked out of the OBs office after my first pregnancy was found to be a miscarriage.
I walked by a huge wall of birth announcements.
And totally lost my shit. I wanted to rip them all down.
And then the second time.
I know they are meant as hopeful and proud and to show the greatness of the OB profession.
But such a sting to those who won’t get to create one.