Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Time Is Of The Essence

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Time and I don’t get along much anymore.

There are just not enough hours in the day and I feel as though I am always trying to beat the clock.

My piles and “To Do” list seem to grow instead of diminish.

I have always prided myself at being good at time management and I have always been acutely aware of how much time it takes to do things. Even more so, now that I am a mom.

During any given day, I feel like I have such few short precious windows of opportunity to get anything accomplished in the way of household tasks or personal things. Simple tasks like: brushing my teeth, scarfing down a sandwich, folding laundry, returning a phone call, paying a bill, catching up on bad TiVo, or my favorite, while you nap activity: BLOGGING. Now you know why I’m posting this at almost 1:30 in the morning!

Most of the household chores can obviously wait, but some of the personal items are downright vital to my well being and sanity and I’ll be damned if it’s nearly impossible some days to squeeze it all in when you DON’T nap. All I can say is Holy Frustration… for both of us!

Sure, I can do some things while you are awake, but you are usually right underfoot wanting (and deserving) my undivided attention and if I’m not giving it to you, I feel extremely guilty. It’s a never-ending struggle because once you go down for the night, I’m running around like a chicken with their head cut off doing things, when I really want to be spending time with your dad or relaxing before it all starts up again tomorrow.

I know I’m not the only mom that feels this way, so I’m curious, how do you balance it all? The meals, laundry, phone calls, grocery shopping, planning, organizing, personal time, heck, even relationships? Especially you moms with more than one child? I’m anxious to hear how you keep on good terms with time.

The best is yet to be.

Day 80/100

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Drama King

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On the plane from New Caledonia to Sydney (a three hour flight, for which I was with you solo) you started throwing your head back, wailing and arching your body when I tried to keep you from hitting the tray table in front of us. Needless to say, you were M.A.D. and downright pissed off that I wouldn’t let you do what you wanted. Luckily the back of the plane was virtually empty, so before things got too out of hand, we moved.

As you banged away I thought to myself, I’m usually not one to “give in” that easily, but I was on my own and hadn’t experienced this type of outrage from you before and at 30,000 feet, I know better than to argue with a toddler.

Since that first episode, you have become quite the little pro at what I can only label as The Temper Tantrum, or The Ultimate Meltdown. When you want something, you want it NOW!!

Oh joy….

Is this how these episodes begin?? I (naively) thought that these outbursts debuted during the infamous Terrible Twos? Could they be a whole year early, and how long do I have to put up with them if they are?

I get it… I think. Toddlers seem to understand WAY more than they can express. I can’t even imagine not being able to communicate your needs, wants or desires. Even if hitting the tray table in front of you is completely out of the question. As your language skills improve, is it safe to assume that these tantrums will decrease? Please offer me some hope before I have a kicking, screaming, back arching fit of my own.

I found this interesting blurb in the April 2010 issue of Parenting magazine:

Apparently, caving to a tantrum-throwing toddler is in our DNA. In a study conducted by scientists from London’s Roehampton University, mother rhesus monkeys gave in to their shrieking infants only 39% of the time when pair was alone, but a whopping 81% of the time when strangers were listening.

Uh, yeah, is all I have to say about that. When your child acts out and you appear out of control, it’s completely embarrassing. Let’s just say, I’ve done a lot more deep breathing andcounting to 10 since I became a mother.

The best is yet to be.

Day 77/100

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Par Avion

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I am beyond excited for our upcoming trip to Australia and New Caledonia. I can’t wait to see my dear friend Sophie (A Token Of Love And Affection) and her husband, Luc again, meet their daughters and introduce you to all of them. Plus, this is a part of the world I never imagined I’d get to see.

With eight successful round trip airplane rides under your belt (six domestic flights and one international trip to Italy), I like to think of you as a professional traveler, but with only one week left until our 15 HOUR ONE WAY excursion to Sydney, I am starting to worry… A LOT!

My feelings range from dread to panic. How on earth are we going to feed, entertain and comfort a 10 month old for 15 hours on our laps for what is essentially two days for you?

For me, the worst part of traveling is the packing! I absolutely hate it. I never know what to bring for myself to wear, let alone, you! Packing for the plane ride is the worst part… knowing how many diapers you are going to need, formula you are going to drink, snacks you are going to devour or outfits you are going to go through is down right impossible, and don’t even get me started on medicines I hope we won’t need, books and toys.

Let the list making begin!

I have learned exactly two things about traveling with a baby; 1) bring at least one new toy that you have never seen before, along with a couple of your favorites and 2) have at least two blankets in your carry on… one for comfort and warmth and one that can double as a burp cloth/snot rag/pillow. I also learned, the hard way, I might add to pack more than one extra outfit for you.

Other than that, I am hoping that the universe and travel gods will be on our side. Any toddler travel advice you can offer, that preferably doesn’t involve drugging my son up, is much appreciated. 🙂

Wish us luck, patience and an empty seat!

The best is yet to be.

Day 48/100

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No, No, No!

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How can one little word, just two letters long hold so much meaning, exhaustion and frustration whether it is being said or heard? The word is ‘NO’ and in the last couple of days, I have said it enough times to last a lifetime and you have certainly heard it enough.

You are into EVERYTHING and while I appreciate your adventurous nature and eagerness to explore your surroundings, it doesn’t change the fact that you can’t touch the heater, climb into the dish washer, push every button on the remote control, hammer on my computer, or play with my phone!

I get it, your job as a toddler is to be a free spirit and constantly test your limits and my job as your parent is to keep you safe, promote positive behavior and raise you to be a good human without completely losing my sanity in the process. Having said that, how and when do you teach your toddler that no means no? What kind of discipline, if any works on a 10 month old?

My current technique is to say something like the following; “no, that’s the stove and it’s hot, please don’t touch it,” and then physically remove you from the situation/temptation. I have given you a description, warning and distraction. Inevitably, however, you crawl back over to the stove (or other inticing object) 17 more times because you don’t understand the word “hot”, let alone the concept of “no” and so the process is repeated over and over and over.

Help me, moms, how early do you teach your children right from wrong, self control and respect? How early is too early for time outs?! My ears are open wide….

The best is yet to be.

Day 47/100

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You’re Asking Me?

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I have a couple of friends that are pregnant for the first time and they have been asking me for advice on everything from diapers and strollers to bottles and bibs (can you imagine?!).

I am no expert I tell them, but there are five things I know for sure about having a baby:

1. If you are planning to have more than one child, buy all of your big items (stroller, car seat, swing, high chair, etc.) in a unisex color/print so that both kids can use them.

2. If you are going to use formula, serve your baby bottles right out of the fridge. It seems a little strange to give your baby cold milk but according to our pediatrician, it’s easier for them to digest and a lot simpler than messing with the microwave.

3. Make noise while your baby naps… you’ll be glad you did!

4. Becoming a mother has been the most challenging and life changing thing I have ever done in my life, but also the very best.

5. Trust your gut. Only you know your body, limitations, patience and frustration level, when to call the doctor and your child.

What do you know for sure about being a mom?

The best is yet to be.

Day 41/100

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Two Under Two

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Our neighbors have two little boys, Pierce, who is almost two and Roman, who is 10 months (exactly two weeks older than you).

Last night we had the pleasure of watching Roman for a little over an hour while his mom took his older brother to the ER. Pierce ran into a bench and thankfully only ended up needing two stitches on the bridge of his nose. Poor little guy. I am so glad that I was at home and could help out.

But, the point of my post today is that I realized that having two children under the age of two is hard work and I only had to do it by myself for roughly 20 minutes before your dad got home. I don’t know how mothers do it!? Valium? You’ve got one going one way and the other going another. One needs to be changed, while the other wants to be picked up. It has to be a master juggling act, is all I can say about it and that I have A LOT more respect for mothers that do it and make it look so effortless today than I did yesterday. Especially working mothers, like my neighbor. Here’s to you, because let’s face it, there is NOTHING effortless about having a child, let alone TWO!

Don’t get me wrong, aside from you getting noticeably irritated/concerned/jealous when your dad or I held Roman, both of you were delightful together and very well behaved.

We want to have another baby (most days) and have them be close in age, but in doing the quick math, if all goes as planned (the stars are aligned and the universe is on our side) we, too will be members of the distinguished group known as parents of Two Under Two. I sort of shutter at the thought….

My question to all of you mothers of two out there is: A) how did you plan (timing/age wise) for your second child? and B) did you do so knowing that you would have two under two? And, lastly, is it as challenging as it seems? Don’t lie!! 🙂

The best is yet to be.

Day 36/100

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Tipping Point

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I used to cringe when I would see a family get up from a table at a restaurant leaving behind what looked like a bomb went off. I thought, how rude or I hope they left a big tip because someone is going to have to pick that up.

Ever since you started eating solid foods and can be kept mildly entertained by munching on Cheerios and biscuits while your dad and I try to enjoy a meal out, after we are done, I get down on my hands and knees and pick up your crumbs. I also apologize profusely to our waiter, but that should be a given. Is this what is expected of me or am I just being neurotic? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not armed with a slew of cleaning products or anything, but I do pick up food thrown/dropped on the floor, mop up spills, and just generally try and keep the mayhem under control.

I really don’t know what the protocol is on this. I have never worked in food service, but I certainly appreciate how hard wait staff and bus boys work. My question to all of you moms out there is, what do you do? Do you clean up after your kid or tip more when your tot makes a mess? Perhaps it depends on the mess and the type of establishment and how often we frequent it, etc. A handful of Cheerios isn’t really a big deal, but if it’s a entire bowl of peas and carrots, maybe so? I don’t know, you tell me.

The best is yet to be.

Day 7/100

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Baby Proofing Season

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It is only a matter of days before you start crawling and as I look around our home, there is a lot to be done to make it a safe zone for you. Lucky for us, you have your very own helmet to protect your head for the next few months!

I have read dozens of articles on baby proofing that include outlet covers, gates, and cabinet and toilet locks, but it’s the not-so-obvious things like; blind cords, carpets without nonskid backings and loose tiles that have me worried. For all you seasoned moms out there, what else should we be considering?

Looks like I’ll be crawling around on my hands and knees this weekend trying to discover other potential Lucas hazards and then we’ll be calling in the professionals.

Shocking facts about child safety:

  • Each year in the Untied States, approximately 6,000 children die, and another 120,000 are seriously injured or permanently disabled due to preventable household accidents.
  • Every day, almost 39,000 children sustain injuries serious enough to require medical attention, totaling more than 14 million children each year.
  • Children are 7 times more likely to die from a preventable household accident than from all childhood illnesses combined.
  • Each year, more than 2.5 million children are treated in emergency rooms for fall-related injuries.
  • The number one cases of death among infants and toddlers are preventable household accidents.

This household will NOT be a statistic!

The best is yet to be.

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Desperately Seeking Baby Food/Feeding Advice

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We are seriously struggling with the solid food thing. We are talking about pursed lips and gagging. I’m not sure what to do. This kid would rather eat (chew on) anything but food!

Today we tried a banana mushed up in cereal and it was quite the struggle. Of course, that is an empty bowl in the photo above, so it couldn’t have been that bad, right? Trust me, it was. I had to be very sneaky; singing to him, waiting for him to smile wide and then slipping the spoon into his mouth.

We have tried organic brown rice cereal, stewed carrots, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, Granny Smith and Red Delicious apples and Gerber Graduates Puffs and have had very little luck with any of those. Actually, of all of those, Granny Smith apples and plain cereal are his favorites, but he’s eating anything on a regular basis. I just can’t seem to find anything Lucas enjoys as much as the bottle.

I am using the Guide to Feeding your Baby on the BabyCenter Web site, which has been very helpful, but for all you moms out there, please recommend a baby food book or Web site that you turn to. Any any tips and tricks you have when it comes to making meals and feeding your children would be most appreciated too. Thanks!

The best is yet to be.

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