Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Second Chances

Posted on May 26, 2010 Written by Tonya

I am finally doing something that my friend Natalie over at Mommy of a Monster (I Mean Toddler) and Infant Twinshas been encouraging me to do for a while now; enter Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

This meme is hosted by Mama’s Losin’ It each week she offers different prompts to chose from and you write about the one you picked, hence tapping into your more creative mommy side. So, here goes nothing!

Prompt #2: If you could do your wedding over again, how would you do it?

I was fortunate enough to have the gift of a wedding re-do and this time with the right groom!

My husband and I have been married for three years this August and like most brides, whenever I think about our wedding day, I feel all warm and happy inside. It was the perfect day.

My second wedding was exactly what I had wanted the first time around: small, intimate and all about the two of us and our love for our closest family and friends.

Since I had been married before and could care less about having another big princess/fairy tale-type shindig with everyone I have ever (or in some cases never) met as guests, we decided to keep it simple, yet elegant.

It was held in our home and we invited 40 guests (27 were in attendance).

You’d think with such a small gathering at home, planning would be a cinch.

Not the case.

All of the typical wedding planning frustrations over menu options, scheduling conflicts, budget constraints and discussions about cake flavors and invitation wording existed, but we had fun planning this amazing party and would both do it again.

We hired our favorite restaurant to cater, help with service, set-up and clean up. We hired a local Spanish guitarist to perform, rented tables, chairs, linens and glassware and asked a friend of a friend to make our cake. Champagne, beer and wine were purchased at Costco and I ordered my dress on Nordstrom.com. I was shocked when it actually fit, which has never happened to me before… EVER! It was the dress I was meant to wear.

One of the sweetest moments was when my sister sang an impromptu solo of “You Are The Sunshine Of My Life” and I love that after the cake was cut, our living room turned into Dance Party U.S.A.!!

Nope, I honestly wouldn’t change a single thing…. Okay, there was the sweaty photographer that we had my mother-in-law ask to leave shortly after dinner was served. To be fair, there just wasn’t enough for him to shoot. We stayed in the same location and he had the same three dozen guests as subjects.

I was pleased with his work and here are three of my favorite moments he captured:



Second changes are pretty rare and I count my lucky stars that I was able to have this one.

The best is yet to be.

Related Posts:

  • My Wedding Day
  • A Love Letter
  • The Wedding

Filed Under: aunt leah, blog, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, TBW, wedding Tagged With: aunt leah, blog, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, TBW, wedding

Lovey – Update

Posted on May 26, 2010 Written by Tonya

On the day you were born, the first family member you met was your Aunt Leah. When she arrived at the hospital, she brought you Arnold the Snoring Pig.

Arnold makes snoring sounds, talks in his sleep while his ears and body move when you press his hoof.

You can’t quite press his foot yet without help, but you LOVE this pig and think that all of your stuffed animals have a “magic” paw. It’s really cute; you hand us monkeys, giraffes and teddy bears and want us to make them move.
Clearly, no matter how many furry, fuzzy, plush toys you have, your heart still belongs to your lovey.

The best is yet to be.

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Filed Under: aunt leah, lovey, photos, toys, update

Me, Versatile?

Posted on May 13, 2010 Written by Tonya

Natalie, author of Mommy of a Monster (I Mean Toddler) and Infant Twins honored me this week with the Versatile Award and I am deeply touched.

Natalie is relatively new to the blogging world (as if I’m some old pro!?) and is doing an awesome job of sharing her crazy wonderful world of having three under three with us. If you don’t already follow her, you are missing out!

In order to accept this award, I have a few things to do:

Share seven things about myself with you.

1. If I could change the world, I’d put a little more “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me” into things.

2. Sitting in stop and go traffic makes me want to put my head through the window. It is the ONE and ONLY thing that I DON’T miss about working. I avoid the freeway like the plague during rush hours now.

3. Way before N1H1 and West Nile Virus, I was a compulsive hand washer and now that I’m a mom, it’s almost out of control.

4. I have always had a bad case of wanderlust and I wish I had more time to travel. If I could be anywhere in the world right now, it would be sitting at the Deux Magots cafe in Paris blogging and sipping a Kronenbourg 1664 (it’s okay, it’s almost 9:00 PM in Paris).

5. I have owned seven iPods… don’t ask! Let’s just say that I’m glad my husband and I own stock in Apple.

6. I was married for three years before I met Lucas’ dad. It is so bizarre to think about it now because it seems like eons ago and I don’t know that I’ve ever discussed that in my blog before.

7. I don’t have a clue how to apply eye make-up (a part form mascara, which I couldn’t live without).

For more on me, read: The Joy Of Blogging and I’ve Been Tagged.

Thank the person who gave you this award.

Thank you! Gracias! Merci! Danke! Grazie! Shukriyah! Natalie, you rock. 🙂

Pass the award on to three fellow deserving bloggers:

Leah, who’s not a mommy yet, but is my sister and writes LA ‘n’ LA about her new life and adventures in Los Angeles.

Tara, whose blog, Blondie ‘N’ SC is just too pretty and heartwarming for words. If you are seeking warm fuzzys, visit her page right away!

Coreen, mother of one and expecting Baby #2 any day now writes The Adventures of Captain Fussypants & Caleb the Wonder Dog one of the wittiest bloggers I follow.

Contact the bloggers I’ve picked and let them know about the award.

Thanks, again Natalie and happy blogging, everyone!

The best is yet to be.

Day 79/100

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Filed Under: aunt leah, awards, blog

Guest Post

Posted on April 16, 2010 Written by Tonya

I am starting to really stress out about our trip Down Under… only four more days until we leave and my mind is racing out of control and my credit card is getting a work out. Your aunt Leah has been here all week putting up with my random travel and packing ramblings, oral “must have” lists and trips to Target. As always, she has been a trouper and a lot of fun to hang out with.

Here is her guest post for the month:

Dear Lucas,

Here you go with my 5th guest post for your mom’s blog. Well, next week you are off to Australia, you lucky duck! I was there two January’s ago and I loved it. It is a beautiful country with so much to see and do. I certainly came back exhausted after that trip!

I can’t tell you how fortunate you are to be able to do all this fancy traveling. I mean, you got to spend your first Thanksgiving on this planet in Italy! Not many kids have that opportunity. I think it’s awesome that your parents are getting a head start on filling up your passport. It’s so important to travel and experience new things and see how people live in all parts of the world.

Your mom and I were two of those fortunate kids growing up. As you know, our parents taught at American international schools overseas so that was our life. Needless to say, we traveled tons! Every long weekend, Christmas vacation, Spring Break, and more, we would either go to another city in our country of residence or leave the country to visit one nearby. Sadly, at the time, I don’t really think I fully appreciated it. Looking back on it now, I know that I was having a once in a lifetime experience, was incredibly spoiled and very lucky!

Here’s a short list of a couple very cool things that I got to do because we lived overseas: I rode on a camel, an elephant and an ostrich. I had a pet goat. My best friends were usually from another country and they taught me all about their culture. I learned a little of lots of different languages and really got to use them with the locals. I got to try sometimes-crazy food and learned to have an adventurous pallet. Those are some pretty amazing things, huh?

Having said all this, I do think it’s both brave and a little stupid to be putting you through these long flights over there. Your flight to Sydney will be 15 HOURS LONG!!! Whew! That is going to be tough but thankfully, you have two smart parents with four very capable hands to occupy you. Your mom is packing plenty of diapers, formula, clothes, and of course new toys for you to enjoy.

I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll be well taken care of on this trip. I will miss you very much and will hopefully still be getting daily phone pictures from your mom.

Love you with all my heart,

Aunt Leah
XOXO

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” – Mark Twain

The best is yet to be.

Day 52/100

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Filed Under: aunt leah, guest post, quotes, travel

I’ve Been Tagged!

Posted on April 16, 2010 Written by Tonya

My friend and fellow blogger Natalie (Mommy of a Monster (I Mean Toddler) and Infant Twins) has tagged me in a game of One Word Meme. What is a One Word Meme, you ask? It’s a chain-like e-mail you complete and them pass along to others, otherwise known as a way to get to know other bloggers and increase blog traffic.

Thanks, Natalie and keep up the great mommy-ing and blogging. I enjoy checking in on you every day and encourage my followers to do the same. 🙂

So, here I go:

Hair: Brown
Your Mother: Missed
Your Father: Emulated
Favorite Food: Cheeseburgers
Dream Last Night: Nothing
Favorite Drink: Water (Oh, who am I kidding…wine!)
Room You’re In: Kitchen
Hobby: Reading
Fear: Dying young
Where Were You Last Night? Home
Something You Aren’t: Patient
Muffins: Zucchini
Wish List Item: Spa
Where You Grew Up: Everywhere
What Are You Wearing: Jammies
Your Pet: None
Friends: Many
Something You’re Not Wearing: Make-up
Favorite Store: Target
Favorite Color: Navy
Last Time You Laughed: Now
Your Best Friend: Loved
Place You Go Over And Over: Gym
Person You E-Mail Regularly: Colleen
Favorite Place To Eat: Subway

My turn to tag…

Leah, you’re it! When my sister moved to Los Angeles in January, she started a blog called LA ‘n’ LA, which chronicles her new life in southern California. She also writes about all kinds of other fun things like; family, friends, music and travel, so if you have a minute, check it out!

The best is yet to be.

Day 52/100

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Filed Under: aunt leah, blog, friends

No Escape

Posted on April 15, 2010 Written by Tonya

Loss is a part of my life and I can’t deny or ignore it, but I don’t want to own it and I certainly don’t know how to embrace it… yet.

My parents have been gone for two and a half years today.

Two and a half years too many.

There is no escape from loss.

Loss follows you wherever you go.

Reminders are everywhere.

Grief and loss are exhausting.

Time is no cure for grief or loss; they are constant.

As much as I don’t want the loss of my parents to define who I am, it is part of me.

I think about them every day and miss them more than words can describe.

I’m angry that they were taken from me too soon and heartbroken that you will never get to meet them.

This photo was taken on my wedding day, August 4, 2007. It was the last weekend I saw my parents alive.

I am grateful for the 35 years I had with my mom and dad, my memories of happier times, the lessons they taught me, photos I have of them, letters they wrote me, books, music and movies that we shared and enjoyed as a family and my sister, who shares my loss. Together, along with your father, we will make sure that you know your grandparents.

“Our loved ones are never truly gone from us. They remain in the landscape of our own life, as we will for those who come after us. So do right by them by celebrating your own greatness as well as remembering theirs.” – Allison DuBois

I press on because I know that my parents would want me to and because I believe that best is yet to be.

Day 51/100

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Filed Under: aunt leah, grandparents, KRA, loss, milestones, MSA

Hoppy Easter

Posted on April 1, 2010 Written by Tonya

Even though we don’t really celebrate Easter in the religious sense, when you are a bit older, we will decorate eggs and the Easter Bunny will hide them and leave you an Easter basket full of sweet treats and other goodies.

Today your aunt Leah and I took you to meet, said Bunny:

From our family to yours, Happy Easter!

The best is yet to be.

Day 37/100

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Filed Under: aunt leah, holidays, photos

Wild Animal Park

Posted on March 27, 2010 Written by Tonya

Today, your aunt Leah and I took you to the Wild Animal Park. It was hot, but we still had a lot of fun.

We pet an antelope, saw a bat display, pretended we were a butterfly and took a cool ride on the merry-go-round (I even took your Doc Band off so that you could enjoy the wind), but visiting the baby elephant (born February 14) was our favorite activity.







We bought a membership, so we’ll be back soon. Next time we want to check out the gorillas!

The best is yet to be.

Day 32/100

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Filed Under: aunt leah, doc band, outing, photos

My Sister, My Friend

Posted on March 7, 2010 Written by Tonya

“Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.” – Amy Li

We’ve been there through life’s sorrow and pain

But together we have always endured the strain
We’ve argued and bickered and made each other mad
But if you weren’t my sister, my life would be so sad
We’ve cried till we laughed and laughed till we cried
Sometimes for no reason; we didn’t even know why
We’ve whispered our deepest secrets only sisters could share
I love my sister dearly because she really cares
So whether we are together or we are far apart
You’re my sister, my friend and forever in my heart.

I love you, Leah.

Happy 26th!

The best is yet to be.

Day 12/100

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Filed Under: aunt leah, milestones, quotes

Guest Post

Posted on March 5, 2010 Written by Tonya

I didn’t get a guest post from your aunt Leah last month, but I think this one more than makes up for it!

Dear Lucas,

My 26th birthday is fast approaching so I thought that I would share with you 10 important things that I’ve learned so far in my life.

Of course you will be too young to understand them for a while but eventually, you will and I am just looking ahead. Enjoy:

1. Cherish your relationships. I don’t care if it’s with your mom or with a girl in high school that you fall in love with, cherish them. Don’t take them for granted and certainly tell people how you feel. Never assume they know. Take the time to understand these relationships and what makes each of them special.

2. Go to concerts and really enjoy them. I mean, get out of your seat and dance your butt off! That’s what concerts are for anyhow! Also, really take the time to listen to the lyrics in songs. They will help you get through a lot of things in your life. I don’t know where I would be without a lot of music out there.

3. Take pictures whenever you can. You will want these memories as your grow older. As you surely learn, I have lots of scrapbooks full of memories and I am grateful that I’ve started this hobby. I hope that you will be interested in photography too.

4. Keep in touch with your friends, at least, the ones that you care about. Even the friends that you haven’t seen in a few years, you never know when you’ll run into them again. You also never know when you’ll need to turn to one of these friends for something or other.

5. Do one thing that challenges you mentally and/or physically every year. It can be anything…. I am attempting to run a half marathon in September and that scares me to death but I know that if I train hard, I can do it. Just know that you can do anything you put your mind to.

6. I hope you find something in life that you are passionate about are able to pursue that. Focus on deciding what will motivate you to get out of bed in the morning. I really think that that is the key to true happiness. I just know that I need to work in the music industry for me to be truly happy in this life.

7. Don’t be a flake. I know too many people that say one thing but never get around to actually doing it and that drives me insane! Why is it so hard to stick to your word? Your mom is the opposite of a flake so I am sure that we don’t have to worry about you becoming one.

8. Worrying is pointless and doesn’t really help anyway. I worry way too much about everything and anything but it’s gotten much better the older I get. So, save yourself the trouble and time and just don’t get into the worrying habit at all.

9. Don’t obsess over what people think of you. I used to do this endlessly but just this year I have really come to an understanding that it really doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about you. As long as you are happy with who you are, then it’s all good.

10. My favorite quote of all time says it all, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” I hope you love endlessly.

All my love to you Lucas.

Your Aunt Leah

Great advice, sister. Thank you for being so good to me and my son. We love you.

The best is yet to be.

Day 10/100

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Filed Under: aunt leah, guest post

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