Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Mad Dash

Posted on December 4, 2009 Written by Tonya

I haven’t worked since September 2008 by choice and baby, so I have spent a lot of week days out in the public at grocery stores, shopping centers, post offices, restaurants, and the like and it never fails to amaze me how busy these retail and service spots are; no matter what day or time of the day I venture out.

Yesterday, I took you to a nearby shopping mall to have your picture taken with Santa and because I have been sick and we have been cooped up all week, I thought that it would be a nice outing for us. I also thought since it was 11:00 on a Wednesday that the mall would be relatively sparse of crowds. Boy, was I wrong! Although there was only one other mommy and tot in line to meet jolly old St. Nick, the parking lot was a disaster and every store we went into was packed. I know it’s the holiday season and everyone seems to already be in that mad dash to check items off their gift lists, not to mention, there are a lot of incredible sales going on, but it is like this All. The. Time! Here I thought we were in a recession.

By the way, you were very mellow meeting Santa. I love how you have you arm draped across him like you are making yourself at home. 🙂 Everyone says that in next year’s photo, you won’t be so docile.

I also got a Baby’s First Christmas ornament for our tree and crossed a couple of names off our gift list.

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Filed Under: holidays, milestones, photos, santa

‘Tis The Season

Posted on December 2, 2009 Written by Tonya

After the heaviness of yesterday’s post, I wanted to completely turn the tables and share something light and fun; and yet still holiday related…

I am starting to feel better (finally saw the doctor and am on antibiotics for a sinus infection) and I am beginning to feel the signs of Christmas in the air, like hearing Wham’s “Last Christmas” on the radio. I think George Michael is still H-O-T and I love that cheesy 80’s song. Hearing it to me, means it’s the holidays. So, with that, here are some quotes about the most wonderful time of the year that I love:

“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” – Erma Bombeck

“I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.” – Harlan Miller

“From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.” – Emily Matthews

“There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.” – Anonymous

“What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.” – Agnes M. Pharo

“Christmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.” – Lenora Mattingly Weber

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde

“Whatever else be lost among the years, let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, let us hold close one day, remembering its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again.”- Grace Noll Crowell

“Somehow, not only for Christmas, but all the long year through, the joy that you give to others, is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessing, the poor and lonely and sad, the more of your heart’s possessing, returns to you glad. – John Greenleaf Whittier

My personal favorite:

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Charles Dickens

The best is yet to be.

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Filed Under: holidays, quotes, warm fuzzy

What Do You Believe?

Posted on December 1, 2009 Written by Tonya

Controversial Topic Alert!


“We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I always think about religion a little more around the holiday season than any other time of the year because I want to believe in God and we celebrate Christmas because we are celebrating the birth of Jesus…disguised with tree trimming, photos on Santa’s lap, gift giving and overall over indulgence. I have to admit I sort of subscribe to the latter. Once again, I am probably going to be biting off a lot more than I can chew with this post, but here I go!

When I say I want to believe in God, I really do. It’s a lovely concept but I can’t wrap my head around the thought of some holy and just God existing when there is so much scientific evidence to prove that he doesn’t. Aside from that, if he did exist, why would he allow such heartache, cruelty and devastation to this world and to good and kind people?

It seems to me that most people turn to religion when they need something; guidance or help through tough times, grief, loss, or illness. I think I have been through enough grief and loss for one lifetime and I didn’t find any comfort in God when I lost my parents or was going through a divorce and I honesty don’t think he has anything to do with my current journey to find peace or spirituality. On the other hand, I’m not angry at him or anyone else for that matter over any of it either. I didn’t once believe and then turn away, I guess is what I’m trying to say. I believe one can be spiritual without being religious.

I did not grow up with religion in my home. I was baptized and find a little comfort in knowing that, but remember as a family we stopped going to church on Sundays when I was three or four years old. I have attended services of many faiths and celebrated Muslim, Hindu and Jewish holidays with friends and Christian holidays in my own home.

I know my father was an atheist and we stopped going to church because he thought the people attending the services were hypocrites; they would curse, drink, lie and cheat and then “go get right with God” on Sundays so that they could sleep a little better at night. I think my mother wanted to believe but was probably agnostic. What I am and have been most of my life is agnostic as well, but it wasn’t until I started thinking about this post that I actually looked up the definition. According to Wikipedia:

Agnosticism is the philosophical view that the truth value of certain claims—particularly metaphysical claims regarding theology, afterlife, or the existence of deities, spiritual beings, or even ultimate reality—are unknown, or, in some forms of agnosticism, unknowable. It is not a religious declaration in itself, and an agnostic may also be a theist or an atheist.

The concept of religion is prevalent when it comes to raising a child and both parents need to be on the same page. In our home, I hope that we will try to talk about as many different religions and religious holidays as possible to give some perspective different traditions, helping put the Easters and Christmases in context by discussing them in the same breath as Ramadan or Yom Kippur or Vesak. That’s means a lot of work; comparative religion has never been an area of expertise for me, but I’m open and willing to learn. Perhaps we can invite priests and rabbis into our home to help educate you so that you can make your own decision on which path to follow.

It’s December 1 and Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa will be here before we know it so I encourage everyone to think about what the holiday means to them.

To me, the holidays are about being spending time with those you love, bringing out your inner child, singing carols, sipping hot cocoa, stuffing stockings, delighting in the pure and innocent joy on the faces of children on Christmas morning and the magic of Santa Claus. I also think it’s a perfect time to reflect on the blessings of the past year and the hopefulness of the new year approaching.

The best is yet to be, no matter what your beliefs.

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Filed Under: controversial topics, holidays, parenting

Giving Thanks

Posted on November 26, 2009 Written by Tonya

I love being in Italy, but I must admit that there is a little part of me that is missing the traditional Thanksgiving feast. I love me some turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and chocolate pie (I have never been a fan of pumpkin pie).

I am also missing the tradition of going around the table and sharing things that I am thankful for this year. I am finding myself a little more thankful this year and here are a few items on my list:

  • The 35 years I had with my parents.
  • A supportive, loving and all around kick ass husband, who also happens to be an amazing father.
  • A happy, healthy and flourishing baby boy.
  • Being able to stay at home and raise my son.
  • Friends and family near and far, old and new, especially my fellow new mommies. I don’t know where I’d be without them!
  • Living in Southern California where there is sunshine 360 days a year.
  • This blog, which has proven to be one of the very best things I have ever done for myself.
  • My new iPhone. I love being able to check my e-mail and play Scrabble from anywhere.
  • Extra long foot massages, pajamas, champagne, TiVo and sleep!
  • The ability to travel to far away places, have exciting adventures, meet new people and then return safely home.

I encourage everyone to give thanks and count your blessings every day.

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Filed Under: holidays, list, TBW, travel

Cheeky Monkey

Posted on October 31, 2009 Written by Tonya

Today is your first Halloween and while you won’t be trick-or-treating, we did dress you up as a monkey. You looked so funny to me in your costume, that it made me laugh so hard I cried. You were totally unfazed by it too, which was half the fun! I think you kind of liked being so cozy and covered from head to toe.

Your aunt Leah and I took you out to breakfast yesterday in your costume and your dad and I took you out to dinner in it tonight. Everyone around us commented on the cute little monkey.

Next year we will take you trick-or-treating and here’s hoping you’ll get lot of Snickers bars….those are my favorite. 🙂

The best is yet to be.

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Filed Under: holidays, milestones

Little Pumpkin

Posted on October 17, 2009 Written by Tonya

Your first Halloween is just around the corner and to celebrate, your aunt Leah and I took you to Bates Nut Farm and pumpkin patch with our Mommy & Me group today.

The pumpkin fields are beautiful and are surrounded by tall gorgeous cornstalks and bright, happy sunflowers. It was over 100 degrees in the shade, but you were a good sport while we positioned you among the pumpkins in hopes of capturing your best shot.

Too bad your dad is away on a work trip and missed all the fun.

The best is yet to be.

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Filed Under: aunt leah, holidays, milestones, outing

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