iphone

My iPhone and I have a love/hate relationship and I think we need a little time a part. To put it mildly, our relationship has gotten out of hand. One of us is obsessed and the other could care less.

The iPhone: a hundred different habit forming items all in one sleek package.

What would you give for a device that was designed to keep you connected, entertained, informed and make you completely crazy?

Let me explain…

I love being able to look up anything and everything that pops in my head on the Internet; I can self-diagnose a nonexistent medical condition, figure out the name of that guy in that movie, or the title of the song that I can’t stop humming and drool over the J. Crew spring line.

I hate to use it for phone calls, but love to text.

I love that I can keep track of important dates, play Scrabble, update my Facebook status and use the built-in GPS to find my way.

I hate that it distracts me from my son, but love that I can capture daily photos of him with it.

I hate that it is the ultimate time waster and my #1 reason for not reading more, but love having it while waiting for a friend to show up for a lunch date, stuck in a long line or at my doctor’s office.

I hate being so accessible, but love that my babysitter always picks up and is quick to respond.

I love that it can hold my entire music collection and a special play list just for Lucas.

I hate that the battery life is so short. My house has five power cords and I can never find one!

I love being able to check the weather, tag a song on the radio and shake in to find the closest eatery.

I hate that the damn thing was so expensive that I treat it as a second child, even with a hard case and screen protector.

I love Tweeting long after my husband has gone to sleep and making lists of blog ideas I have at 3 in the morning.

I hate that it won’t let me use my potty mouth in texts or Tweets without auto correcting me… hell becomes he’ll, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!

Yes, the iPhone can be and do so many wonderful/evil things.

Okay, I am ready to take bids!

What would you give?

C’mon, you know you want one!

These things really are amazing.

Actually, looking back over my list, I do believe my loves outweigh my hates…

On second thought, I think I’ll keep it.

Grr. That damn thing, it always knows how to push my buttons.

This post is for The Red Dress Club’s writing meme, Red Writing Hood. This week’s prompt was to write a humorous ad, a la Craigslist or eBay, where you’re selling things after a breakup.

This is my 500th post!

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Dear Mommy,

I know we are still getting to know each other, but here’s what I can tell about you so far:

You must adore reading because I have a million books and you read to me all. the. time.

You must take pride in me looking my best because I’m always dressed in a matching shirt and pants. I’m always very comfy too.

You must yearn for whatever is in that funny red and white can because it’s the first thing you drink every morning. When are you going to let me have a taste?

You must delight in seeing me smile because you sing silly songs, make silly voices, and perform silly dances that make me laugh.

You must care for me a lot because you take me to the doctor when I’m sick, bathe me, brush my teeth (all six of them) every night, clean my ears and nose (which I hate), keep my nails cut back and make all of my food at home from fresh organic produce.

You must think I’m pretty cute because you constantly have a camera in my face. I must admit, I love seeing pictures of myself too.

You must enjoy the outdoors because we go for a walk almost every day, just when I start to get a little fussy. I like it when you point out surfers, trees, plants and dogs.

You must savor turkey sandwiches because we stop to get one several times a week. At least now I’m getting my own!

You must want me to be a well-rounded individual because you take me to music class, swimming lessons, trips to far away places and let me play with finger paints.

You must assume I enjoy going to the place with all the food and bright lights more than I like going to the place with the fish and Legos. You’re wrong.

You must really like that small white rectangular shaped thing you carry around with us everywhere because you talk to people on it (like Daddy!), take photos with it and do a lot of typing on it all day long. Sometimes I get to see Elmo on it, which is very fun for me.

You must need alone time every now and then because you leave me at home with different women and disappear for a few hours each week. I miss you while you are gone but, truth be told, I enjoy this time apart too.

You must cherish your friends because we spend a lot of time visiting with them. Lucky for me they all seem to have babies too!

You must appreciate it when I lay in my crib and fall asleep because when I wake up, you are always very happy to see me.

You must love me a lot because you give me lots of hugs and kisses.

You must believe that I am special because you tell me every day.

I love you a lot too and I am very glad you’re my mommy.

Love,
Lucas

The best is yet to be.

This post is forMama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #1Dear Mommy and/or Daddy…(write a letter to yourself from one of your children)

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