Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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A Love Letter

Posted on August 4, 2010 Written by Tonya

Three years ago, I married my partner, lover and friend.

In just three short years, we have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

A month and a half after we got married, my father-in-law underwent heart surgery for a congenital heart defect. He made it through with flying colors and today is better than ever, but this was a very emotional time for us as newlyweds.

A month later, both of my parents died of carbon monoxide poisoning while living and working as educators in Tunis, Tunisia. My husband was amazing during this, the saddest and most confusing time in my life. He took my younger sister and I under his wing and helped us plan a double funeral, a trip to Tunisia and navigated us through countless decisions regarding their estate.

During this time I could not give him what he gave me and I will forever be grateful. He listened and held me and encouraged me to do whatever I needed in order to adjust to my new “normal”.

While I walked into walls for nine months trying to keep my wits about me and a career I loved, we decided that the best thing for me to do would be to leave my job as a marketing manager to focus on my grief, settle my parents estate, spend time with family and start planning a family of our own.

With hope in our hearts, just 10 months later, we welcomed to the world our son Lucas. Our pride and joy and new reason for living.

In three years, we have made our house a home, taken wonderful trips together, cried together, laughed together, fought like cats and dogs, grown stronger as a couple and as individuals and made two three. We recently suffered a miscarriage but are slowly, but surely bouncing back stronger than ever. I can’t wait to see what our future holds.

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. – Paul Sweeney

I am so lucky to have found this incredible man to go through life with. A man that makes my toes curl and my blood boil; makes me laugh, makes me think and forces me *kicking and screaming* to be the best version of myself. He is a wonderful father and a good person.

I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate everything you do for me and us and I love you. Happy Anniversary, Todd. xoxo

The best is yet to be.

This is my 300th post!! How fitting that is a love letter to my husband because without this blog, I’d quite possibly be a bigger pain-in-the-ass than I already am!

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Filed Under: blog, marriage, milestones, miscarriage, my letters, parenthood, photos, quotes, TBW, wedding Tagged With: blog, marriage, milestones, miscarriage, my letters, parenthood, photos, quotes, TBW, wedding

24 Hour Date Night

Posted on December 5, 2009 Written by Tonya

We have a free night stay at the Hard Rock hotel in downtown San Diego, so do you know what that means?! 24 hour date night!! Tonight will mark the first night that your dad and I have both been away from you all night long together and has horrible as it may sound, I don’t have a worry in sight. You are going to be in the capable, loving and caring hands of your grandparents. Let’s hear it for ’em!

Even though I sleep next to the man every night and I just got to go to Italy with him for a week, I miss your dad. We need to reconnect and have some fun and no offense, but have our time together have nothing to do with you, although I am certain that your name will come up a time or 30 over the next 24 hours.

Nobody told me that my relationship with my husband would change once we had a baby. It stands to reason, I mean, after all our marriage now has a third component to it! I just wasn’t expecting it nor was I all together prepared for it. I feel like we are at the point in our new parenthood where we are coming up for air (i.e. you are on somewhat of a schedule, we are getting more sleep and my hormones are starting to return to their previous state), so now is a good time to have this mini get-away.

I love how your dad and I work together as a team to care for you, but we need this! We need this one night away together. So, here’s hoping you have a fabulous time with Grandma and Grandpa (I know you will) and here’s hoping we have a fabulous night without you. 😉 Again, no offense.

The best is yet to be and don’t worry, we will return.

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Filed Under: grandparents, marriage, milestones, TBW

The Art of Marraige

Posted on November 13, 2009 Written by Tonya

Although we just got home from four days in the Bay Area where we were visiting your grandparents, we are off tonight to Arizona to attend a wedding. You are already a jet setter and you aren’t even six months old yet! I appreciate how good you have been with all of the traveling and new faces.

My dear friend Karin has asked me to read the following at her wedding tomorrow. I am honored and thankful for the reminder of what marriage is and isn’t.

When you enter into marriage, you enter into life’s most important relationship. It is a gift given to bring comfort when there is sorrow, peace when there is unrest, laughter when there is happiness, and love when it is shared.

A successful marriage is not something that just happens. It takes work, it takes understanding, and it takes time. Most importantly, it takes a commitment from both of you – a commitment to do whatever it takes to make your relationship thrive and not just simply survive. A good marriage must be nurtured. Listen to these “words of wisdom” on how to create a successful marriage from a little book entitled The Art of Marriage by Wilferd A. Peterson:

The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say I love you at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all ages.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives; it is facing the world together.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding, and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is the common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing of a relationship in which independence is equal, the dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.
And finally, it is not only marrying the right person, it is being the right person.

The best is yet to be and I promise that we will lay low all next week.

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Filed Under: marriage, quotes, warm fuzzy

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