Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

  • Home
    • My Guest Posts
  • Letters For You

Patience

Posted on June 22, 2010 Written by Tonya

My husband is a very patient person.

I, on the other hand, hate waiting in lines.

I hate red lights.

I am not good at dealing with my son’s temper tantrums.

I have several of my own temper tantrums each week.

I want things done N.O.W. and I have ZERO tolerance for people that dawdle or indecisiveness. I don’t like to “wait and see” or “talk about it again later”. I want to make a decision and move on.

They say patience is a virtue. Well, I don’t get it. Clearly, I don’t have very much of it and while I’d like to think I’m working on it, I don’t really know that I am.

What makes one person more patient than another?

How do you develop patience?

What is so virtuous about patience anyway?

Does being patient really make you a better person?

Ah, patience, you slay me!

Webster’s dictionary defines [being] patient as:
1. enduring pain, trouble, etc. without complaint
2. calmly tolerating insult, delay, confusion, etc.
3. showing calm endurance
4. diligent; persevering

Well, no wonder people (I) have such a difficult time with it. If being patient is equated with enduring pain without complaint and calmly tolerating insult, then you can keep it. It does me no good.

It sure makes patience sound like taking on a martyr “suffering in silence” role, doesn’t it? No, thank you!

But, if I think about patience in terms of showing calm endurance, being diligent and persevering, then MAYBE I can SORT OF see a different aspect of patience and one that for a mommy like me, should aspire to be.

Yesterday was one of those days that particularly tried my patience.

Thank goodness my husband is a very patient person.

The best is yet to be.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: character, parenthood, TBW

Just The Two Of Us

Posted on June 11, 2010 Written by Tonya

I am lucky to have the very best partner on the planet because I honestly could NOT do this parenting thing on my own and I have so much respect for mommy’s that do.


My husband and I make a great tag team because he knows how crucial my “me time”, friend time, sleep and need to have a couple of moments to regroup (AKA blog about my day) are to me and how important my getting those things makes me a better mother. I can only hope I do the same for him.

Having said all that…

I have a confession to make: sometimes it is just way easier to do it on my own. Not that my husband and I have different parenting styles; he is MORE than capable, a wonderful father and I have no qualms about their time together or the way in which he does things with our son, BUT Lucas and I have a thing going, a routine and everything just seems to work a little better/easier/smoother when it is just us.

I attribute this to being Lucas’ primary care giver, the one that spends the most time with him and the fact that oh, I don’t know, I’m the mom. Seriously, why is it that only Mommy will do in certain situations or on days that end in the letter ‘y’? I still marvel at the fact that I could mean so much to one little person. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, while at the same time, bugs the living shit out me!

Apart from the joy and frustration of being the most important person in my young son’s life, I swear he does behave slightly better when it’s just he and I, I think the tag teaming thing irks him.

Sorry, little buddy, your dad is here to stay. Here’s to my partner!

The best is yet to be.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: challenges, confession, parenthood, TBW

Just A Mom

Posted on June 8, 2010 Written by Tonya

It was one year ago today that we were discharged from the hospital with our new little bundle of joy. We were so excited to bring you home, but also couldn’t help but wonder, what are these nurses thinking, are they really going to let us take you with us?

This photo was taken moments after we arrived home.
Somehow we survived that first day and night and every day and night since then. A whole year of parenthood!

A whole year of…

onesies, burp cloths, blankets and bibs
nightly feedings [sleep deprivation]
(mis)identifying cries
buying more diapers (or batteries) than we ever thought we’d need
discussing poop
checking in on you as you sleep
hugs and kisses
trying to make you giggle
proudly introducing you [showing you off] to our family and friends
taking more pictures than ever before
figuring out how to operate all the different contraptions and how they work to carry and keep you safe
laundry
calling you everything but your name
making ridiculous sounds, noises and faces
lullabies
hanging out on the floor playing with you and your million toys
finding creative ways to keep you engaged, happy and above all quiet
love
confusion
worry
guilt
relief
surprise
bewilderment
beginning to trust our instincts

What a monumental year! Yay for us!!

Thank God the first year only lasts the first year.

Now that you are a year old, I suppose I can’t be considered a “new” mom anymore, can I?

Now, I’m just a mom. 🙂

The best is yet to be.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: list, milestones, motherhood, parenthood

The Things We Do For Our Kids

Posted on May 29, 2010 Written by Tonya

Warning: For all of you truly “green” living, energy conservationists, please do not read this post! It will only upset you.

I didn’t ask a lot of questions, so I’m not sure how it happened exactly, but somehow before Lucas got in his bath last night, his lovey ended up in it first. Three guesses who was on bath duty…

Luckily, he fell asleep as usual in my arms in the rocking chair while the lovely was in the dryer (on high) for 40 minutes and he even made it to his crib without it, because it wasn’t dry yet.

He stirred and whimpered after a second 40 minute cycle, but didn’t wake up and didn’t seem to miss it, thank goodness!

At almost 9:00, while hubby and I are fading fast, I started to panic and had visions of Lucas waking up in the middle of the night crying because he wouldn’t have his Comfort & Joy. Would you believe that the damn thing had to go through ANOTHER cycle before it was dry enough to place in his arms?! That’s 120 minutes of dry time.

Isn’t it ridiculous what we put ourselves and our poor household appliances through for the sake of our children (and a good night’s sleep)?

The best is yet to be.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: lovey, parenthood

Drama King

Posted on May 11, 2010 Written by Tonya

On the plane from New Caledonia to Sydney (a three hour flight, for which I was with you solo) you started throwing your head back, wailing and arching your body when I tried to keep you from hitting the tray table in front of us. Needless to say, you were M.A.D. and downright pissed off that I wouldn’t let you do what you wanted. Luckily the back of the plane was virtually empty, so before things got too out of hand, we moved.

As you banged away I thought to myself, I’m usually not one to “give in” that easily, but I was on my own and hadn’t experienced this type of outrage from you before and at 30,000 feet, I know better than to argue with a toddler.

Since that first episode, you have become quite the little pro at what I can only label as The Temper Tantrum, or The Ultimate Meltdown. When you want something, you want it NOW!!

Oh joy….

Is this how these episodes begin?? I (naively) thought that these outbursts debuted during the infamous Terrible Twos? Could they be a whole year early, and how long do I have to put up with them if they are?

I get it… I think. Toddlers seem to understand WAY more than they can express. I can’t even imagine not being able to communicate your needs, wants or desires. Even if hitting the tray table in front of you is completely out of the question. As your language skills improve, is it safe to assume that these tantrums will decrease? Please offer me some hope before I have a kicking, screaming, back arching fit of my own.

I found this interesting blurb in the April 2010 issue of Parenting magazine:

Apparently, caving to a tantrum-throwing toddler is in our DNA. In a study conducted by scientists from London’s Roehampton University, mother rhesus monkeys gave in to their shrieking infants only 39% of the time when pair was alone, but a whopping 81% of the time when strangers were listening.

Uh, yeah, is all I have to say about that. When your child acts out and you appear out of control, it’s completely embarrassing. Let’s just say, I’ve done a lot more deep breathing andcounting to 10 since I became a mother.

The best is yet to be.

Day 77/100

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: advice, challenges, parenthood

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6

Subscribe TwitterFacebook Email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

My Parents

Photobucket

I was a Listen To Your Mother Cast Member! Click on image to view my reading:

I was a Listen To Your Mother Cast Member! Click on image to view my reading:

Proud to have my writing featured here:

Proud to have my writing featured here:
Blog Archive

What I’m Pinning

Letters For Lucas
BlogWithIntegrity.com

What I Write About

a mother's guilt annoyances aunt leah birthdays blog books challenges conversations with Lucas DMB exercise family friends grandparents gratitude grief guest post holidays KRA Letters For You list loss love mama kat's writer's workshop memories me time milestones motherhood MSA NaBloPoMo parenthood parenting photos praise pregnancy2 question quotes SAHM school siblings simple joys TBW TDA bio travel update writing

Creative Kristi Designs

Copyright © 2009- 2025 · Letters For Lucas · Design By Creative Kristi Designs