weight

Mindful Eating

Posted on February 16, 2011 Written by Tonya

I love food!

I love chips and salsa (the spicier the better), deep dish pepperoni pizza, big fat juicy cheeseburgers with all the fixings and a side of French fries, chocolate chip ice cream, sandwiches never without a bag of potato chips nearby, several glasses of wine at the end of my evenings and at least two Diet Cokes a day.

I didn’t eat poorly every day and when I did, I’d pay for it at the gym, on long walks to and from parks or by depriving myself for days following.

That was then and this is now.

I don’t think about food the same way any more.

It’s been one week since my husband I started the 3-day Ritual Cleanse and all everyone seems to want to know is how much weight we lost.

We didn’t do the juice diet to lose weight, but I did drop three pounds, all of which, I’m sure I have gained back because it was probably just water weight.

More important than the weight loss, I feel good and I did throughout the entire three days of the cleanse. Well, except for a minor headache at the beginning of Day 2, but it was nothing a little green tea couldn’t cure.

Day 1 was just odd. Drinking only juice and peeing A LOT and by bedtime, I was really hungry, but I pressed on…

Day 2 was my best day, I had tons of energy and felt absolutely amazing. Not having that bloated or tired or run down feeling was new to me and I liked it and wanted more of it!

Day 3 went very well too, but I was starting to get nervous about eating “real” food again the following day and didn’t want the goodness I was doing for my body to stop after I had used so much will power to stick to this three day detox.

Day 3 also prompted a lot of conversation about the way we eat as a family and different choices we wanted to make to our diet going forward. I still haven’t had a Diet Coke and don’t know when or if I will. I’m reading more labels at the super market and trying to buy only fresh organic produce and products.

My husband and I are already talking about doing the cleanse again this Spring. Believe me, if I can do it, so can you!!

If you are interested in doing something wonderful for your body in order to reset it and make more mindful eating choices, I highly suggest Ritual Cleanse.

If you have any questions about my experience or want to read more about why we did the cleanse and my half way point, here are two previous posts: Time To Detoxand Ritual Cleanse – Half Way Point and I can always be reached at smadaaynot@yahoo.com.

Thank you, Ritual Cleanse!

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Time To Detox

Posted on February 8, 2011 Written by Tonya

My husband and I are doing something utterly insane this week. Well, okay, it’s not that crazy, people do it all the time. In fact, little did I know, Todd has actually done it several times in the past and for a lot longer period of time.

What are we doing?

We are cleansing! For the next three days, we will eat and drink nothing but juice and water.

We are using a friend of a friend’s product called Ritual Cleanse. We are doing the Seasonal Reset Cleanse; which consists of six fresh pressed pure vegetable, fruit and nut juices a day, one every two hours for three days.Before signing up, I tasted these juices and they are delicious! I’ve also heard nothing but great things about the outcome, so I am really excited (or as excited as one can be over starving themselves for 72 hours).

I digress…

People cleanse for many different reasons; it’s a quick, easy, efficient way to flush the whole body and reset all its systems. For some it’s all about the weight loss. For me, I’m not interested in losing any weight, although, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be thrilled to see a lower number on the scale after three days of not eating. Between moving and the holidays, there has been a lot of late night eating, take out, fast food and alcohol, so my personal goal is to detox my insides and jump start my body for a healthier way of eating.

I’m sure by the middle of Day 2, I’ll have a raging headache and want to eat my arm off, but I’m trying to stay positive and I am very committed to doing this.

We start tomorrow and I will be tweeting about my experience follow me here: @letters4lucas and I’ll post an update here next week.Stay tuned and wish us luck!

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Giving Thanks

Posted on November 25, 2010 Written by Tonya

Wise men count their blessings; fools their problems. – Author Unknown

Last year, my husband and I took 5 1/2 month old Lucas to Italy (you can read about our trip here) and had a fantastic time, but this year I’m happy to be home spending the holiday with family.

Today, we started our day with a local 5 mile Turkey Trot, which I highly recommend to anyone is planning to eat and drink all day, like we did. It was only Leah and I that crossed the finished line, because poor Lucas woke up with a cold and since it was 50 degrees out at 7 AM, after mile 1, he and Daddy waited for us in a cozy and warm coffee shop. The rest of the day, Leah and I played Scrabble, cared for Lucas, wiped his runny nose, watched his favorite programs on TV, tried to get a good holiday card photo of him and stayed out of Todd’s way as he cooked the turkey, made twice-baked potatoes and green beans.

Our feast was served at 4 PM and it was button on your pants popping delicious!

This year, like most, I was in charge of the pies and there were three, as usual: pecan (Leah’s favorite), pumpkin (Todd’s favorite) and chocolate (mine!). And yes, there is a piece missing from one of the pies… someone just couldn’t wait until tonight.

Looking back at my Thanksgiving post last year (you can read it here), there isn’t much that I’d change or add to my list of things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving. I have been blessed beyond belief! With only a few minor edits:

The 35 years I had with my parents.
A supportive, loving, patient and understanding husband, who also happens to be an incredible father and amazing cook. He’s also very generous; I found him preparing a full plate of food for a homeless man hanging out in our alleyway tonight.
A happy, healthy, smart, adorable, fun toddler who teaches me something new everyday and fills my life with joy.
A sister who has the capacity to listen, forgive and love unconditionally.
Being able to stay at home and raise my son.
Friends and family near and far, old and new, especially my mommy friends; I don’t know where I’d be without any them.
Living in Southern California where there is sunshine 360 days a year.
This blog, which has proven to be one of the very best things I have ever done for myself.
Extra long foot massages, pajamas, Cabernet Sauvignon, babysitters that are available at the last minute, TiVo and sleep!
The ability to travel to far away places, have exciting adventures, meet new people and then return safely home.

I hope however you are spending the holiday, you find as many things to be grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #2: Share a photo of what Thanksgiving looks like in your neck of the woods.
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F-A-T – Update

Posted on October 25, 2010 Written by Tonya

This week is going to be Follow-Up Week on Letters For Lucas. I have poured my heart out and shared a lot recently and want to clarify and update you on a few posts.

Last month, I received more comments on my post F-A-T (click here to read the original post) than I have on any other post. To all of you that read, commented and could relate, thank you. I love receiving comments and always appreciate what my readers have to say (on and off line) and particularly enjoy learning something new from your perspective. I wish I had more time to engage in an open dialogue with each and every one of you.

I knew that I would be touching a nerve with many of you in this post because weight is such a difficult, frustrating and lifetime issue for so many of us. It is also a very hard topic to discuss because it is a very personal matter. What works for one person, may not work for another and we all have reasons for why we are over or under weight, obsess about exercising or drown our sorrows in food. Many of these reasons come from our childhood and our role models. In my case, my mother.

I have never talked about my mother’s weight with anyone (a part from my sister, husband and a handful of very close friends) before. I couldn’t even talk to my own mother about it, so I had never really explored my own feelings about my body and weight until I wrote that post.

Before I pressed [publish], I read the post to Todd and he warned me that it might be a little “too brave”. For the record, I rarely run my blog posts by my husband, but for some reason, I did this time. I don’t want to be monitored here and I wasn’t looking for his approval; this is my blog, my space and as I’ve stated before, I write for me and Lucas, however, I do feel a certain amount of responsibility and would rather not offend or piss off any of my readers.

With F-A-T, I sincerely hope that I did not come across insensitive to those of you that have or do struggle with your weight. I know that it is a real problem and that for many of you is a daily source of aggravation.

I also didn’t mean to offend anyone by touting that I have never been on a diet. Trust me when I say that I would be bigger than a house if I didn’t exercise. My conscience choice to exercise (and love of exercise) along with using my mother as an example of what not to do were the two main reasons for my post.

Please keep reading, commenting and letting me know how you feel.
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F-A-T

Posted on September 30, 2010 Written by Tonya

My mother was easily 150 pounds or more overweight my whole life.

Her weight was never an issue in our house growing up, in that it was never ever discussed. Yes, we were one of those families. No one monitored what was consumed, asked any questions or made any snide remarks.

Growing up, meals were “normal”… a meat, a starch and a vegetable. There wasn’t a lot of desserts, but we had a lot of homemade cookies, of the chocolate chip variety laying around. I don’t recall ever thinking my mother was eating more than she should.

Since my mother’s weight was never an issue at home, I was never embarrassed by her appearance. I do, however, remember feeling bad for her when she would get winded walking up a flight of stairs. I remember wondering how she would fit in a certain sized chair or a seat on an airplane. I never bought her a single article of clothing because I never knew her actual size.

Once while we were on vacation, my mother lost her balance and fell down five or six stairs. She had cuts and bruises all over her face, arms and legs for weeks. Fortunately, she didn’t break anything, but we were in the middle of the jungle in Madagascar, a 10-12 hour drive from the nearest city and she had to be flown back to our hotel and wait for my dad, sister and me to return the following day. That incident broke my heart.

My mother was an elementary school teacher, the smartest woman I ever knew and always carried herself with ease, dressing appropriately for her size. She wore a lot of primary colors and fun holiday-themed jewelery “for her third graders”, she always said. Even though she was heavy, she never “let herself go” and always wore a stylish hair cut and nail polish on her finger and toe nails.

I have seen photos of my mother before I was born and she wasn’t always big. In fact, she had a very slender frame until the Summer of 1972.

I still have no idea why she was overweight and unfortunately, I never will. She passed away in 2007 from unrelated causes.

I always thought, and she may have eluded to it ONE time, it was because she gained so/too much while pregnant with me, which made me fearful that the same thing would happen to me when I was pregnant. Some women take the “eating for two” literally and don’t take necessary precautions to nourish their babies as well as themselves in healthy and safe ways. I believe my mother was one of these women.

I know firsthand now how difficult it is to lose whatever baby weight is gained during those joyous nine months, especially with a brand new baby in tow. I am still struggling with five-eight pesky pounds myself.

In spite of or because of my mother I have never been overweight. Weight may be hereditary, but I just don’t think I could ever let myself get to that point. The point of being fat. On the other hand, I wouldn’t know what the worst diet is because I have never been on a diet. I guess I tried the Atkins Diet once for about 3 days, but who can live without bread?

Since I was in college, I have chosen to take responsibility for my weight gain and loss by exercising regularly. I keep a Excel spreadsheet of every mile I walk and calorie I burn on the StairMaster, Elliptical machine or stationary bike. I exercise so that I can eat the way I do and luckily for me, I enjoy sweating. I can’t imagine feeling healthy or happy without an hour at the gym several days a week.

I know where my problem areas are and try to work with them or camouflage them when necessary. I have sizes 6 through 12 in my closet and like everyone else, I have good days and fat days.

I LOVE to eat, but don’t gorge myself. I feel that I eat for sustenance and not just for the mere pleasure of it, unless of course it’s Trader Joe’s chocolate cover peanut butter cups or a glass or three of wine. I eat three square meals a day, rarely snack and consider myself a carb addict (hence the reason the Atkins Diet didn’t last long).

When it comes to my relationship with my body, food and exercise, I always think about my mother. I think, I don’t want to be 100+ pounds overweight. I want to live a long healthy life and I want to look good in my skinny jeans. And now, more than ever, getting and staying in shape is not just for me, but my son too.

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #1 Describe the worst diet you ever put yourself on.

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I’m A Hot Mess

Posted on July 31, 2010 Written by Tonya

I wouldn’t say that I have let myself go, but I wore make-up for the first time in a month this week and it got me thinking about my appearance and the fact that I’ve become a hot mess!

I spend 90% of my time dressed in the stereotypical stay at home mom attire, which consists of yoga pants, sports bras, tank tops, hoodies and sneakers.

I have a terrible farmer’s tan and the humidity that we have had this summer makes my hair look like a frizzy mop. I have even contemplated **gulp** getting five inches hacked off and working the “mom do”, something I said I’d NEVER do!!

I also have several extra pounds from what would have been baby #2 to lose and that never helps. Before I got pregnant, I had lost all of my pregnancy #1 weight and then some and was feeling terrific and working out a lot. The daily walks continued, but there’s nothing like an emotional set back to keep you from going to the gym and burning some real calories.

My lack of interest in looking my best has a lot to do with feeling down and therefore only being able to muster the bare minimum when it comes to getting dressed in the morning.

I’m not a slob. I do shower everyday (it may be 8:00 at night before it happens, but it does happen), but I feel unattractive and unmotivated.

I have a closet full of beautiful, functional clothes and love to dress up, but ease and comfort is where it’s at these days.

The make-up made me feel better and made me realize that I need to make more of an effort not look like such a train wreck, if for no one else but myself.

The best is yet to be.

This post was written for the word game, Word Up, Yo! hosted by Natalie (Mommy of a Monster), Kristin (Taming Insanity) and Liz (a belle, a bean and a chicago dog).

If you like words too, play along!
This week’s word is hot mess.

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Boobs

Posted on June 14, 2010 Written by Tonya

I’ve been thinking about boobs a lot lately.

I’ve been thinking about how they vary in size and shape from woman to woman and how some women go to extremes to augment, lift and smash them together.

I know nine women that have had breast implants without ever looking back (aside from one that had a horrific experience and had them removed). I’m completely envious of the way these women’s boobs look. They are always so perky and look fantastic in everything they wear, especially bikinis. I’m also envious that often times, they don’t even wear bras because they don’t have to.

I thought I had good boobs before I had a baby. A nice solid B+, as in the size, not the grade, but as long as I brought it up I’d give them a B+ grade too. Nowadays, they are more of C- and that’s with the helpful aid of the “right” bra (is there even such a thing?)

There are no two ways about it, boobs completely transform while you are pregnant and in the year that follows. I’m amazed that their sole purpose (aside from looking fabulous in a push up bra under a little black dress) is to provide nourishment.

I have several friends working on weaning their infants off the boob right now and it makes me sad. Okay, I’m just going to say it: I tried breastfeeding and it didn’t work for me.

This is my story:

I have to admit I was on the fence about it from day one and struggled with my decision up until I purchased the Cadillac of all breast pumps (the Medela Pump In Style with shoulder bag), ample storage bags, boxes of bra pads, nursing shirts and two tubes Costco-sized tubes of lanolin cream. With all the gear, there was no turning back. Plus, I was looking forward to the connection and bonding that my son and I would have, not to mention, I had heard that you can burn an extra 500 calories a day by breastfeeding. Bonus!!

Little did I know what sort of battle I was up against. Breastfeeding hurt like nothing I had ever experienced before; from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes. It was more painful to me than labor and delivery and I delivered naturally without drugs.

There’s just something so wrong about pulling your unsatisfied newborn off your breast only to find his mouth full of blood instead of milk and wanting to cry your eyes out from the pain.

We had lactation specialists visit us in the hospital and at home, took pictures of the pillow arrangements and bought nipple shields, which helped a little bit, but when my milk wasn’t coming in and I couldn’t relax and began panicking because my little tiny baby was screaming out of hunger, I resorted to pumping only. I only produced two to three ounces a day and that only lasted two months and then I, of course completely. dried. up.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), Lucas was dehydrated when he was born and took longer than the standard week to return to his birth weight, so the nurses at the hospital told us we would have to supplement with formula. Dad was feeding the synthetic stuff to our son this through a syringe while my sister was pressing on my breasts to help encourage the milk to come in and I was busy trying to relax and hold my baby in the most optimal position. As you can imagine, it wasn’t a pretty picture.

I know of all the advantages of breastfed babies and I wanted them for Lucas. I thought I would have a gullet of milk gushing out of my boobs. I wanted my boobs to do what they were designed for, but instead they let me down and to this day I still feel extremely guilty that Lucas didn’t get breast milk longer. I really did try and I had a lot of support around me, it just wasn’t meant to be in the end.

Whether they work or not, back to boobs…and bras.

I feel like I am forever on the search for the perfect fitting, just enough lift, maximum comfort providing bra, especially now that mine have changed so much since giving birth. I think it’s time for this momma to head back to Nordstrom for an “intimate” fitting.

I have had pretty good luck with the Victoria Secret Body by Victoria line, but would love to know what everyone else likes. What’s your favorite everyday bra? Sports bra? Nursing bra (provided I ever give that another whirl)? Push up? T-shirt?

The best is yet to be.

This post is for the new word game, Word Up, Yo! hosted by Natalie (Mommy of a Monster), Kristin (Taming Insanity) and Liz (a belle, a bean and a chicago dog). I love words and wish I had a better vocabulary. I like the way words sound and feel sometimes rolling off my tongue. I especially enjoy words that I have to look up their meanings to. Having said all of that, you may see this button on my blog from time to time:

If you like words too, you should play along!
This week’s word is gullet.

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This Little Piggy

Posted on April 19, 2010 Written by Tonya

Even though you are in the 95th percentile on the weight and height scales, all of you is little to me. I especially love your tiny feet and hands and nothing brings me more joy than seeing your itty bitty fingers pick up a Cheerio or piece of cheese. You have such precision in the task and I just can’t get enough of it!

Until recently I didn’t have the heart to cover up your little piggies with anything other than socks and jammies with feet. Sadly, your dad (AKA the shoe horse in the family) bought you several pairs of shoes that you never got an opportunity to wear because you have already outgrown them. Last week I finally broke down and got you two new pairs; a so ugly they’re cute pair of Crocs and a classic pair of navy blue Converse All Stars, with tie laces.

You don’t seem to mind them one bit and I seriously don’t think they could be any cuter.
You are a bit obsessed with the laces, so the next pair might need to have Velcro.

“If the shoe fits…buy it in every color.” – Anonymous

The best is yet to be.

Day 55/100

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On The Move

Posted on March 29, 2010 Written by Tonya

Guess where you headed yesterday morning?

Scary! Thank goodness we had the house baby proofed almost a month ago.

It’s crazy to think that just a week ago, I could put you on the floor and know that you couldn’t get very far by pivoting and scooting around on your belly. Now, you are a little man on the move who has completely embraced crawling. And, if there is a lone Cheerio on the floor, you are sure to find it.

It has been so fun to watch you enjoy your new found independence and explore our ENTIRE house. You are definitely keeping me on my toes and I should be able to lose that last five pounds of baby weight in no time. 🙂

The best is yet to be.

Day 34/100

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Operation Get Fit

Posted on December 10, 2009 Written by Tonya

Why did I do it?! I stepped on the scale, damn it!! I know it’s only a number, but I still have SIX POUNDS left to lose to be at my pre-pregnancy weight.

I guess I sort of thought (hoped) that with all the walking we did in Italy and the several days I have spent eating like a bird, because I have been too stuffed up to even taste food that I would have lost those last few extra pesky pounds. I was wrong. Boo hoo!

This is definitely the hardest time of the year to be watching what I eat; with the holiday parties, my mother-in-law’s amazing cooking, libations o’plenty and all the other sinful goodies. But, I have a plan. I have asked Santa for a trainer! 😉 I have never had a trainer before and I am very excited and a little scared. And now that you are over six months old, I can actually take you with me to the gym and put you in the Kid’s Club for a couple of hours (with trained/certified/professional child care takers). Operation Get Fit starts next week!!

I fit in to one pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans, but there are many more where that came from, along with corduroys, slacks, skirts, dresses and bikinis I am bound and determined to wear them all again.

The best is yet to be.

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