Robin is one of my favorite writers and her blog, Farewell, Stranger is one I never miss. Robin’s writing is raw and thoughtful and eloquent. I have devoured every word of her brave journey through postpartum depression and especially love her posts about her three-year-old son, Connor, who could be the Canadian version of Lucas.
I had the pleasure of rooming with Robin the first night of BlogHer ’11 and we stayed up until after 2:00 AM talking. To say that I hope we get another opportunity to do that again someday would be an understatement.
I am so pleased to have Robin here today with a letter to her baby girl. Confused? Keep reading….
Dear Baby Girl,
For a few months now Connor has been talking about his baby sister.
“I’m going to have a baby sister,” he said one day.
“When my baby sister comes, I’m going to teach her how to paint,” he informed me a couple of weeks ago. He was wrist deep in watercolor paint at the time, and the image of the two of you creating art together nearly made me cry (which surely would have smeared my own amateur work of art).
One day I asked him when his baby sister was coming.
“On Friday,” he said, his voice confident and sure.
I laughed of course, because he seems to be under the impression we merely have to order a baby and go to the hospital to pick it up. (It’s Grandma’s fault, because when he asked her recently where babies come from she took the admittedly smart approach and told him they grow in the mommy’s tummy and then you go to the hospital to get them.)
I wish it were that easy. If we could have you with us on Friday, I’d leave for the hospital right now and wait in happy anticipation.
That’s not how it works, sadly, but I’m intrigued that your three-year-old brother is so sure you’re coming to live with us.
Nine years ago, when we bought our first house and it was being built, your dad and I stood on the ground outside with nothing but the skeleton of a house surrounding us and thought about what it would be like to live there. It was getting dark – the sun was going down in the hills to the east, and I could see footprints in the dirt beneath us from the workers who had been there that day.
Suddenly I had an image in my mind, clear as a photograph, of our family. Four of us – your dad and I, a boy and a girl. I dismissed it as a silly dream or wishful thinking and didn’t even mention it to your dad at the time. It was too much like picturing the “perfect” family.
I actually always imagined I’d have a girl first, so when your brother came along I was surprised. And that led me to wonder whether maybe my quickly-dismissed vision from that long ago day wasn’t in fact worth paying attention to.
Your dad and I had never really talked to Connor about having another baby. He just started talking about it on his own, and has mentioned his “little sister” to Grandma as well. None of his good friends have little sisters – they’re all little brothers – so I really don’t know where he got the idea.
Maybe he knows something we don’t. I sure hope so, because our family isn’t complete yet and I’d be very happy if you’d come and join us.
Love,
Mama
P.S. If you turn out to be a boy, that’s okay too.
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Beautiful, Robin. xxx
Thanks Toni. xx
I hope your dream comes true soon Robin, little girl or boy, keep visualizing that dream and it will come true. I know it. xo
I think the universe is going my a favour by controlling the timing, but I’m still working on it. xo
I think you’re probably right. The universe can work in mysterious ways sometimes. 🙂
Tonya, thank you so much for having me here today. I really can’t tell you how flattered I was that you asked, especially so early in your series.
Lots of love to you, as always. xo
I’m just glad you said yes!
Sending baby girl (or boy) dust your way. xoxo
Beautiful, Robin. Thank you for sharing your letter. You had me a bit emotional with your descriptions, too.
My boys wanted a baby sister too, and she eventually came. Of course, we also would have been happy with another boy. I do think little kids are more tuned in than we are though. So you never know!
He might very well be right! I wouldn’t at all be surprised.
Love your letter, Robin. I think Connor knows more than anyone can imagine 🙂
He’s a smart cookie, so maybe. 😉
Awesome. Can you get the nursery ready for Friday? So sweet, maybe you should get him a goldfish first?
Nursery? No. 😉
I thought about getting him a goldfish. He’d love it, but I know he’s want to take it out and hold it, so I think it’s lifespan would be pretty short.
Beautiful letter, Robin. Keep visualizing your dream and it will come true. I know it.
Thanks, Kimberly. Let’s just keep spreading that baby girl dust around!
What a gorgeous letter to the baby yet to be. I wish for your dreams and Connor’s to come true. Xo
Thanks, Kir. Hearing him talk about it makes me want it to come true even more.
Oh Robin, that’s lovely! I know that incomplete feeling yet. I had it, too before Brody. And before we even agreed to try for another? Kayli told her preschool teacher that we were expecting a brother! So yes, I think they *do* know sometimes!
I love that beautiful photo and your last line? Perfection!
This is lovely ladies! XO
I think they do too! How cool that Kayli told her teacher that. xo
Thanks, Galit! I’m so proud of my new series and appreciate all of your support.
I’m probably just hormonal, but reading this really made me wish I had another child… I’ve been thinking a lot about having another baby, but given my current marital ‘situation,’ the timing couldn’t be any worse.
Connor is so sweet… I think he’s definitely ready to have a little sister;) I wish the best for you, and may your dream come true!
Thanks, Sweaty. I know what you mean about the timing. So tough when sometime like that gets in the way.
Always believe in the spirit of the young mind. They often know so much more than we give them credit for!
So true! I believe that too.
Ah, robin, this is stunning. that baby girl, or boy, would be the luckiest to join your family.
When Adam was 4, just as we were beginning to try for the second child, one day he asked me “when am I going to get a sister?” with such certainty, that I nearly veered of the road. He didn’t get a sister, as you well know, and I do love being the mother of two boys. Since we are not going to have another child, I still yearn for a girl, but have know that it is not to be. If you have a girl, you will just have to let me buy her pink things…
Tonya, this series, (and this blog) is so wonderful. Thank you for your beautiful work.
Absolutely, you can buy her all the pink you want. 😉 I always wanted a girl, but after having Connor I can definitely see how two boys would be great as well. We’ll see…
Thank you for your kind comments. I’m happy you think so and hope you’ll come back soon.
Oh this really got to me, Robin. Isn’t it funny the way kids sometimes pick things right from our brains out of nowhere. I seriously think kids are magic as weird as that sounds.
Before I knew I was pregnant with my second child my son who was around a year and a half at the time came over to me as I laid on the couch, put his hand on my stomach and said “baby”. It was the weirdest thing…even weirder when a week later I had a positive pregnancy test.
I hope your family is complete someday soon. 🙂
Whoa, that is weird. I think they know. But how do they know?! Magic, I guess.
Beautiful Robin. I enjoyed every word of this letter, and I know it will happen for you one day–baby girl or boy. Love you!
Love you too, my friend. For now I will live vicariously through you and your girls.
This is so sweet!!
I hope y’all get that little brother or sister at exactly the right time for your family.
I have dreams of having more too…and my daughter has been hinting and asking about baby sisters recently, which does intensify those feelings.
When he brings it up I’m alternately overwhelmed with love and really sad, because who knows if it will happen. Whatever will be will be, I guess.
Oh Robin, that’s so beautiful and eloquent. I hope your dreams for your family do come true. But not Connor’s, EXACTLY, because Friday is pretty darn soon 🙂
Oh my, yes. Not Friday please. 😉
Sigh. So beautiful. And what a lovely addition she or he will be. I can’t wait. And I know you can’t either.
Tell Connor that my son wants to go pick up his baby at the post office. 😉
Wouldn’t it get kind of squished in the box? 😉 I can just imagine if I told him that. He’d want to go and look.
I hope Connor gets his baby sister (or brother). And that you share this beautiful letter with her (or him) when that happens.
Thanks, Krista. I will, absolutely. And then I’ll probably cry. 😉
What a wonderful mental space to go to.
Love this idea.
One I never thought of.
Great mental exercise. Truly.
Opens doors to so much thinking.
I’m sitting right near the spot I was standing when I had that image while our house was being built. So tough because we’re planning to sell this house, so I wonder if it could possibly come true. But imagining that is really a very powerful thing.
My 5yo keeps asking for a brother. A bigger brother, not a little one. Can’t explain to him for the life of me, how that’s not possible. He’s only EVER gonna have a big sister. *sigh*
Aw. How sweet and sad for him to want something he won’t get. This sibling thing is tough!
What a sweet letter.
Thanks, Roxanne. It was the one topic that I kept going back to.
This made my heart smile. Like you, I don’t know if my family will ever be complete without a daughter. I always imagined I’d have a boy and a girl…the boy first. When Little Man was born I felt like I was putting a big check mark in my “life box.” Now if only that little girl would come along…praying for you! Hopefully you and I both get that baby girl SOON!
I hope we both do. I really, really hope so. 🙂
Beautiful. Very very beautiful. Heart. And yay for another new blog to read!
Thanks for following Robin over here today! I hope you’ll return again. 🙂
Thanks, Kate! 🙂
Oh my gosh, that has got to be the sweetest thing I have read in quite some time. I sure hope she gets here soon too! She’ll (or he’ll) be very well loved!
Aw, thanks! What a nice compliment.
What a sweet letter… and sweet brother she’ll have. My youngest daughter kept saying that she wanted a little brother… she finally has one and now I’m wondering if she’s changed her mind!!
Oh, he might very well change his mind. Especially when he realizes how much attention a baby sister would require. 😉
Oh, I love love LOVE this! So sweet…and you wonder why he’s so certain. Maybe he does know something…
What a wonderful letter.
I’m just dying to find out if he could be right. That would be freaky and cool all at the same time.
Connor is so sweet asking for a sister. I hope one day his wish is fulfilled and that he is still excited about her (or him).
Thanks, Jess. I hope so too. 🙂
I love this series and love your letter. I’m kind of glad babies aren’t that easy to order or I’d probably have a dozen 🙂
Eep! Me too. 🙂
Such a sweet letter, love this from Robin and I hope he does know something that no one else does.