Everyone knows Liz, she is the wonderful voice behind a belle, a bean & a chicago dog and co-founder of Eli | Rose Social Media, LLC, the most helpful social media Web site around!
I am very proud to have Liz as my guest today with a letter that I hope she will STRONGLY consider hand delivering the next time she encounters this out-of-touch, insecure, boastful mom.
Dear Mom at Gymnastics,
Sitting up in the viewing area, I hear moms make what I’d consider to be unnecessary comments about their kids from time to time. You can tell when some moms worry that others are seeing their child perform not at their best during gymnastics class. Not that I condone that behavior, but it’s something I can tolerate.
You and your over-the-top bragging, on the other hand, are completely intolerable. I feel sorry for the woman you vaguely recognized and then lassoed into a 15 minute show-off session about how amazing and out-of-this world spectacular your 7th grader is. I also feel sorry for your younger daughter who was trying out that gymnastics class; you made it very, very clear that she is your “difficult” child because her grades and lesser number of extracurricular activities aren’t as impressive as your 7th grader’s.
It’s such a shame when one of our children doesn’t make us feel like an incredible mom when we talk about them, isn’t it?
Now for your 7th grader? I don’t care that she’s (supposedly) never made even 1 B in her whole entire life. I don’t care that you want to send her to the most – in your eyes – prestigious private high school because “each student has their own counselor and by the time they graduate, they have a whole portfolio to show off to prospective colleges.” Oh, and thanks for mentioning that “everyone who goes to St. Agnes goes onto college because you wouldn’t go to a school like that if you weren’t.”
Competitive cheerleading? — Blah.
A role in a play? — So what?
You having her sit for the SAT even though she’s only in 7th grade “because colleges will start to track her now”? — You.make.me.sick.
You and your stuck-up 7th grader can gloat all you want because I’m putting my money on your “difficult” child being the happiest, most secure and most normal one in the bunch.
Chew on that for a bit, won’t you?
Signed,
The Average Mom who Feels Sorry for your Extreme Insecurity
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Ha! Liz…what to say? I think I might print that and stick it my back pocket just in case…
I might need to cut and paste this for my future encounters with such moms!
Oh those parents drive me CRAZY.
This reminds me of the one upper parent. The one who, no matter what special thing you want to share about your child is, hers did it earlier and better. Sorry you had to listen to all of that, even second hand
No joke, listening to her was giving me goose bumps. It’s like my body was repulsed by her with every fiber of its being!
Thanks for having me! Today is gymnastics day, BTW. So I’m *thrilled* to be able to soon find out if she’s baaaaaack!
What pressure her child is under! I don’t think I could live up to it.
Poor kid. Just reading that made me nervous. 7th grade for the SAT?
An-noy-ing! Nicely put, Mama!
Oh I think we all know a mom like this. Thank you for saying what I am always thinking when around someone like this.
I don’t like parents like that. I feel bad for the child. Sitting through the SATs in 7th grade – that’s too much pressure. I wouldn’t be surprised if she cracked and rebelled come high school.
Thankfully, most mothers are not like this, and the ones that are, end up on shows like Toddlers & Tiaras for all the world to mock.
Amen to that!! You should annonymously pin it to her coat one night…with a packet of ketchup so she can eat it.
Wait I should have said packet of mustard right…you and you Chicago folk don’t like ketchup
I LOVE YOU, KIM!!!
Don’t get me started on the crazy gymnastics moms. My viewing room gives me the hives.
You are so right on! I think 90% of bragging comes out of insecurity. Poor girls — both of them having to live up to expectations and compete with their sibling. Ick.
Liz, I remember you tweeting about this incident and it still gets under my skin now.
As competitive as I am I hope and pray that I don’t turn into “that mom”. As long as our kids are doing their personal best that’s all we can ask of them!
I’m headed there now. Stay tuned in case there is more tweeting to be had!
Some of these other moms are ridiculous!
Oh sigh, gymnastics is like that, too? The dance moms at Abbey’s studio kind of scare me sometimes
I agree! Liz, you must hand this to her!
uh, these mothers make me sick…
and her younger child? probably won’t be the happiest one, but filled with feelings if inadequacy that lead to therapy in her adult years…
why can’t mothers just let their kids be normal?
Cannot STAND those types of parents. It makes me physically ill. One of the pitfalls of living the city that I do. Ugh.
I agree so much with this. I have been known to say that I’m a great mom unless I’m comparing myself to other parents…the one thing I dislike about motherhood….other mothers. While that sounds like a dig…it’s not. I love you Liz (and Tonya and all the other moms reading this) but trying to “keep up” with all of you exhausts me…moms like the one you described make me want to hide in a corner.
I am very proud of my children and will do right by their talents…but I cannot condone the bragging and condescending attitudes .
It’s an important post…for all of us.
Oh, I totally get this. TOTALLY. And that mom will drive the others freaking insane when her daughter is actually IN high school.
Or drive her daughter to become a stripper and rent a seedy apartment over the dive bar downtown.
I know several like this, and they make me sick. Love this, Liz!
However it will end up, I have no idea. But that mom and her 7th grader do not have a solid, happy future ahead.
fricking boom. this kind of parent rivals the absent parent as my least favorite kind.
And she doesn’t even know what a disservice she is doing to both of her children. Shameful.
[...] One of my new favorite weekly reads is Tonya’s (of Letters for Lucas) Letters For You series. This week she had Liz (of a Belle, a Bean, and a Chicago Dog) to her blog writing a letter to “that” mom…I think we have all been around this woman, and it feels good to have Liz tell her off via this letter: Blah, Blah, Blah. [...]
Parents like this hit my rage button. Probably because I fight so hard not to only value the outside stuff (grades, activities, etc etc).
My kid isn’t a portfolio. She’s a PERSON. She can’t be summarized on paper….that’s the beauty of her.
Oh my gosh!! I am banking on the “difficult” child too!! The Mom is just setting child number 1 to fail -when you never have to struggle or work for things and everything is handed to you, you don’t learn how to survive tough situations or work for what you want. Great letter! I wish the Mom could read it.
Sadly, this woman will only get worse as her kids get older. And her insecurities deepen. And she masks them in boastfulness.
Ugh.
For everyone involved.
Wow. This was amazing. And so right on. Good job, Liz!
I certainly bet that felt good to write and get off your chest!