My Body

My body is strong.

My body carries me and my body lets me down.

My limbs contort and stretch, pushing, pulling, reaching, carrying, holding.

I sit cross-legged along side my energetic little boy and move cars and trains around a track, help him with puzzle pieces, locate lost toys under the couch, stack blocks and build towers with Legos

I chase my son around the park and delight as I listen to his sweet laughter.

I lean over the bathtub and scrub away dirt and grim that has been collected during the day with a warm wash cloth.

I sing, dance, giggle and tickle.

I lift and cradle my precious boy every opportunity I get.

My body gains and loses and lifts weight. It sweats as I push it and I feel as though my heart might burst right out of it’s chest cavity.

My body makes me feel alive.

My lungs take in fresh sea air as I walk along the beach searching for calm and answers.

Mercifully at the end of each day, my body lets me rest peacefully.

The best thing my body has done, and the thing that I will forever be in awe of; was to  allow me to carry a baby to term and deliver my son. For that, I will always feel empowered, important and grateful.

The worst thing about my body and the thing that makes me hate it; it refuses to let me do it again. Once so capable, it now struggles.

My body has let me down.

My body is strong.

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Comments

  1. tom says

    indeed the comment made is the way i approach life daily!when you go from riches to rags to look out world to the love of your life taken,iknow what its like to do alot,a little and im back!

  2. says

    I’m reading this while this SONG is playing here at my desk. So I’m crying too…

    your body is going to do amazing things again…that is my wish, my prayer and I BELIEVE IT with all my HEART.

    love you, calling the angels and holding HOPE for you. xo

    • Tonya says

      It’s a beautiful song and inspired this post. I love the lyrics and can surely identify. Thank you for being so supportive and encouraging.

  3. says

    I cannot say I understand what you are going through, because I haven’t been there. But I can tell you that I am hoping and praying that you will get this heart’s desire. That your body will co operate one more time for you!

  4. says

    oh my sweet friend.

    i don’t know how you do it. in the face of adversity, you spill beautiful hopeful words. i think i would be a ranty, bitter mess. or totally silent.

    yet you are eloquent and lovely and even grateful to your body for what it DOES do for you.

    I hope you know I pray for you daily. DAILY.

    so much love!

    • Tonya says

      Thank you, Katie. Without hope I don’t know where I’d be and writing about it helps tremendously. I know that my body can do this. One more time.

  5. Leah says

    You and your body will definitely get there. You are an incredibly strong woman and I have no doubt that you can conquer anything Tonya.

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