I don’t like this version of myself…
the one that sets expectations impossibly too high and then wonders why she is disappointed each and every time.
the one that lashes out and fails to communicate because she has her own agenda and refuses to let anyone derail her.
the one that is curt, short and rude for no good reason.
the one that likes to avoid conflict at all costs and will become quiet and withdrawn instead of address what’s on her mind.
the one that shakes out of anger, swears and bitches to others instead of facing the root of the problem.
the one that looses control, feels completely spent, desperate to be understood and in tears with a pounding headache.
the one that runs out of patience before any real work has begun.
the one that lets her inner demons get the best of her, throws willpower and self control out the window and ends up feeling sorry for herself.
the hardheaded, difficult to please version.
the one that is uncertain, weak and anything but sure footed.
the one that over reacts and can have volatile and immature outbursts when things don’t go her way.
I don’t like this version of myself.
Luckily, there are many sides to me.
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We’re all multifaceted and we all have yucky sides. Don’t be too hard on yourself. And yes, there are many sides of you. The side where you’re beautiful, warm, gentle, generous and funny.
Thank you. I’m working on trying to focus on the better side.
Nobody’s petfect! You have so many fantastic others sides and they are the ones I remember when I think of you 🙂 Besides, I have a few traits in common with your “yucky” side 😉
No, nobody’s perfect. This month has brought out the worst in me and I’m ready to move on.
Your yucky side sounds a lot like mine. I think you are brave and strong to share your “yucky” traits and own them.
It’s only one side. I have some good qualities too. I think. 🙂 I’m learning how to focus on those.
Ugg. I could have written this post this week. I am having a VERY hard/down on myself time lately. It’s so hard. I am not physically where I want to be almost 5 months postpartum and I am having a hard time giving myself some grace and not feeling defeated before I even try.
Thank you for sharing this, Tonya. I don’t feel so alone in having a “yucky” side!
It was a hard post to write, but in some ways, it helped to see all the negative in black and white. Now of to the positive qualities.
We all have that side. It’s what makes us human. thanks for sharing the yucky side with us…very relatable.
Yes, we are only human. Damn it! 🙂
I could have written this about myself. These are the sides that I have been showing lately and I hate it. I’m working on turning it around now.
Its nice to know we all have “that” side and we are not alone. Its also nice to know it just peeks out usually when we are too tired or have way too many things to do.
Peace to you and yours,
Pam
I can totally relate to this one. I don’t always see it at the time but will often look back and wished I’d acted or handled things differently. But I agree with the other comments as well – we all have this side and luckily, as you stated, many other sides as well. Great post!
i think all my sides need to be polished!i like turning yucky sides into irrisistable sides!
There are many parts of me that I don’t like either but with the good comes the bad.