The first time Lucas asked about my parents, I totally and completely froze. I chickened out and just said, “they’re not here”.
Granted, he was only 2 1/2.
I wrote about being better prepared the next time he inquired here.
Since then, there have been a lot of conversations about my parents being in heaven, but each time Lucas’ questions get harder and harder.
Tonight was no different, except that I was in another room sobbing as I overheard Lucas and my husband, my amazing husband have a conversation that I won’t soon forget. It went something like this:
Lucas: When will Mommy’s mommy and daddy come down from heaven?
Todd: They won’t, they live in heaven now.
L: For how long?
T: Forever.
L: Forever?
T: Yes, forever.
L: Will I ever meet them?
T: No.
L: Have I ever met them?
T: No, but if you had, you’d remember. They were perfect.
L: Is heaven a planet?
T: Sort of.
L: They died, right?
T: Yes.
L: How?
T: Someday Mommy and I will tell you. [We have not shared the details of my parents deaths with Lucas, but if you don’t know, read this, For My Broken Heart]
L: Can dead people live on Earth?
T: No
L: Did they drive to heaven?
T: No.
L: How did they get there?
T: They died and their spirits just sort of floated there and that’s where they are looking down on you and watching you live your life.
L: And I’ve never met them?
T: No, but trust me, if they could meet you, they would be here in one second. They love you very much.
L: Do they love Mommy?
T: Yes.
L: Do they love Aunt Leah?
T: Yes.
L: Do they love you?
T: I think so.
L: Do they love Charlie?
T: They never met Charlie.
L: They didn’t?
T: No.
L: Oh. Well, I miss them.
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Oh hon.
I think your husband handled it beautifully.
*hugs*
I agree. He’s pretty awesome.
i love what lucas said at the very end.
my younger brother has four-year-old twins. they will never know my older brother, but i showed them pictures of their kabuki (my older brother’s nickname) when they were very little, and now when i ask them to point him out to me, they do so happily. there’s also a tree in our front yard that was given to us by my parents’ oldest friends the week my brother died. a magnolia tree we call kabuki’s tree. they call it that, too.
he’s buried in colorado, where my grandmother and aunt are. and when they ask where he is, i tell them simply, he’s in colorado.
It’s so important that they know our departed family existed and love them and watch over them… even from Colorado. 🙂
Hugs to you. You and your husband are letting him know how loved he is, even by people who can’t be here in person to tell him.
We’re trying. I never want Lucas to doubt he is loved, even by people he can’t see.
I believe that our memories and our hearts are what tie heaven and earth together …. thinking of you xxxx
I do to! xo
I’m so sorry for your loss. For what it’s worth, I believe in guardian angels, and it sounds like you have two great ones protecting and guiding you and your family.
I like to think my parents are watching over us. It brings me a lot of comfort.
My heart is aching. I love this so much.
Thank you. It felt like a gift and surprisingly so much harder to overhear than to have.
I think that you have the most wonderful husband.
I really do. He handled himself and the conversation beautifully.
Cady has always made comments like this about her namesake, David’s mom. One time she said, “I bet Grandma Faye is watching me from heaven with a big smile.” I almost had to leave the room. And a few months ago James was really upset about something and told me he wished he could go be with is Paw-paw. And I asked if he wanted to call and talk to him (David’s dad). “No! I want to be with the one whose name is the same as me.” That time I did have to walk away.
So yeah… I get this.
It’s bittersweet.
I’m so glad I was in another room! But, actually it was almost harder to overhear than to have the conversation myself.
And now I am crying at work… lovely… This is incredible T. XOXO
xoxo
I cry as I sit here reading this. My dad is in heaven, as is my 4year olds dad (he passed when my son was not even 2). And we have had many conversations on this topic. And what touches me most, is the last line. What your son says. My son, everytime, says the same thing. And it is just so touching. Really shows the purity and innocence in a child. Hugs to you.
I’m about to cry myself. I feel he knows them in spirit, through you, if that makes sense. I personally believe he will meet them someday.
What a beautiful, sweet exchange.
xo
Yes yes and yes. We talk about my mom regularly but I can see she is having more questions and different thoughts. This just made me teary eyed because I know how you’re feeling!
Sending hugs!
oxoxox
You have a wonderful husband who handled that perfectly. It’s important that they know how loved they are, even by the ones who they can’t actually see.
Well shit. Now I am a crying mess.
Your husband rocks. I hope I answer Eddie’s questions about Cort’s dad that well.
He is an incredible little boy which is no surprise since he has incredible parents. What I miss most is witnessing the pure joy he would have brought to Michael and Kathi. It helps to think they are aware and watching and smiling ear to ear. We love you guys.
I would be a sobbing mess in this situation..especially if I was hearing it but not a part of it. Sounds like your husband handled it very well.
Lucas has a big heart. Just like you.