My first Letters For Lucas post was Dear Baby Boy, a letter I wrote to Lucas before he was born. I wrote this letter when my heart was light and my cares were few. I was bursting in anticipation to meet our son and loved every minute of being pregnant with him. Looking back, I took my entire pregnancy for granted. I was native. I didn’t realize at the time what a miracle getting pregnant and staying pregnant was. A long hard three and half year battle with secondary infertility would teach me what a gift bringing a child into this world truly is.
Our baby girl will be here very soon and I know her arrival is going to be something I will have a hard time putting into words. It’s hard for my brain to go there even now as I feel her slowly move and adjust inside my belly. I can’t wait to meet her and hold her and kiss her and be her mother.
I wrote the following letter on Sunday, December 22 at 3:53 AM, I was 35 weeks pregnant:
Dear Baby Girl,
In just a few short weeks you will be here and I’m feeling surreal, scared and overwhelmingly happy. Finally, after years of trying, years of hoping and wishing and praying for you, you will be here.
My daughter. I never thought I would be the mother of a daughter, but now I can’t wait! It is such a wonderful time to be a woman in this world and I already know what a fighter you are.
You aren’t even here yet and I have fallen madly and completely in love with you and you will never know how much I have dreamt about the day we meet, in fact just thinking about it makes my heart twinge and eyes fill with tears. You are so very wanted and we have been waiting for you for so very long.
This is an exciting time for our family, we just moved into a beautiful new house but I know it won’t be until after your arrival that it starts to feel like a home; that it feels complete.
Your brother is anxious to meet you too and is already very protective of you. I hope the two of you will be the best of friends and that you protect him as well. He is an amazing boy and I know he will be a good big brother to you. Some day when your father and I are gone, he will be all you have left of us. Be there for one another and always be strengthening your relationship.
I know that you and I will have our ups and downs but we are forever bonded as mother and daughter and I will cherish you and our relationship always. May you never ever doubt my love.
Anxiously awaiting your arrival.
With all my love,
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more.
– A Thousand Years, Christina Perri
(This was my “go to” song so many times throughout this journey to have you and I love the lyrics.)