Greta writes Gfunkified and today is sharing a touching letter to her first husband, who was tragically killed by a drunk driver while she was seven weeks pregnant. Her post, Ivy describes that dark period of her life with nothing but heart and strengthen.
Greta is truly a remarkable and courageous woman, wife, and mother and I am pleased to have her here today.
Dear J,
Ivy will be five in a couple of short weeks, so that means it’s been six and a half years now. I wish you could have met her, seen her precious little face and how much she resembles your mom and sister.
She’s a little firecracker. She’s got my personality and our blue eyes. She tries to hide a sneaky smile when she knows she’s been caught. This girl will be the source of many a sleepless night, I’m sure of it.
Henry is, well… your little clone. The older he gets, the more he looks and acts like you. I wish you could have seen his school programs, or his endless supply of ever-more-intricate drawings (another trait straight from your genes). He has your enthusiasm and lack of rhythm.
We talk about you, a lot. They know who you are, who you were, and where they came from. As they get older, I know they’ll ask more and more questions. As hard as it is to answer them sometimes, you know I’ll always do my best.
I hope you can witness all of this from where you are. I hope, so much, that you haven’t been completely robbed of that.
I don’t hate the woman who killed you. I don’t have anger for her anymore. I don’t have energy to spend on that, and I know that’s not how you’d want me to spend my life with your children.
I will never, EVER forget her name, though. I’ll never be able to drive over that spot and not think about what happened.
I hope you know that I’m happy, and that we’re well taken care of. I hope you can see that your kids will never feel that they aren’t loved every single day of their lives, and that I’m loved. Because I know in my heart that you want that for me, and I will always have the inkling that you had something to do with how my life has played out since you left it.
Love,
G
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Thanks for letting me invite myself into your blog today, Tonya. It was a letter I needed to write.
The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for sharing yourself here today. xo
What a beautiful, heartbreaking and hopeful letter, Greta.
Thank you so much, Alison.
Oh Greta. This made me sob. Fantastic letter & I hope you are doing well & enjoying life. Good for you for not holding onto that anger!
Thanks for sharing.
Aw, thank you, Kristi. I am doing well. 🙂
Greta, what a beautiful letter. I am in tears. So raw and honest and open.
Your kids have the best mother they could possibly have and I’m sure that J knows it.
Thank you, Kerstin. That means a lot.
This is…so so so beautiful and heartfelt. I’m crying over here.
Aw, sorry, Kimberly! But thank you.
You are so strong and so tender at the same time. 🙂
Just like asparagus. 😉 Thanks, MM.
Greta, I think this is the first blog post I’ve ever read that made me CRY. Some have choked me up or made me teary. But I’m really crying right now. I am inspired by you, and I think you have some idea that I draw strength from “knowing” you. This was so beautiful, and I’m so glad you got to write it.
Well, that was not my intention!! But thank you for saying that. It means a lot that maybe a tiny little bit of good came from all of it.
so heartwrenchingly sad, beautiful and eternally hopeful all at the same time. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. such courage and strength.
Thank you so, so much.
So very sad, but beautiful and hopeful at the same time. You are a strong woman, Greta. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much, Kim.
What a beautiful letter, Greta. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much. I needed to get it out.
I am so happy I got to spend 3 days with you last July. I had no idea at that time what you had been through. Your strength, determination and positive outlook are inspirational. A beautiful tribute from the heart. Thank you for sharing!
Andrea, it means so much to me that you came to read this and let me know!
A beautiful post. You have dealt with the unthinkable with strength and grace. Your children look so happy and that is a direct result of you
Thank you so much, Jamie. I have an amazing family support system and husband now who have all gotten me through it. I don’t know what I’d have done without them.
This is beautiful, Greta. You are clearly a very devoted mother and strong woman. Your children are so lucky to have you!
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for that, Lindsay. 🙂
I’m crying, and it’s partly because I feel so lucky to have met you and know you ARE happy and loved and that you are doing an amazing job here. I love the thought that he is both watching and helping from above to surround you and your family with love and some sort of peace.
Well, your comment made me cry. 🙂 Thank you, Angela.
Greta, you simply amaze me.
Jenn, it’s mutual. 🙂
I love that this is a straightforward, informative, loving letter. It’s not flowery or melodramatic – it’s as though it will actually be signed, sealed, delivered. Somehow.
And you are a better woman than I. Drunk Driving is my ultimate peeve, and I’m quite sure I would still be hating. And it would not be good for me or the kids. I’m so glad you have let go of that.
Thank you so much, Kristin. I wanted to just write like I had one more chance to say what I wanted to say, and that maybe he’d get the message.
I was angry, for a long time. The trial drug on so long, and there was so much drama contained within it. I wrote a letter to the woman and read it in court, and I think that’s when I started to let go. She has to live with it the rest of her life, but I don’t have to cling to that.
Greta, you have truly made an incredibly beautiful life for yourself and your children and I can see the goodness and joy it has brought you, although you traveled a hard road to get there. You are building a wonderful legacy for your children and I know their dad would be so very proud.
Thank you so, so much for that, Rach. That means a lot.
I’m in chills and tears over here after reading that. What a beautiful letter, Greta, and you obviously have an equally beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing both with us.
That is incredibly kind of you, Cheryl. Thank you so much.
Tears, Greta. Beautiful post. I’m so sorry he is gone but you sure have some beautiful children together.
Thank you, Jennifer. His legacy definitely lives on in these two.
Absolutely beautiful. I’m sure that he is looking down and smiling at how wonderful his children are and at what a great job you are doing.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
Thank you so much, Jackie. I hope so.
Lovely Greta, both the post and you. They are totally up there watching, cheering, guiding, making fun, nudging. I wonder if J and my M have met? I bet they would like each other.
You have such an awesome perspective, Sherry. I’m so glad to have met you.
This is beautiful and you are such an inspiring woman!
Thanks so much, Tammi.
Greta, so glad we met and I know your children, you are a blessing to all who know you.
Oh, thank you, Jeanne. I’m blessed to have you in my life, as are the kids.
Those are some adorable kids you have there Greta and I’m sure he knows.
Thank you. Our genes made a pretty good mash-up and I hope you’re right.
Oh Greta, I am so glad that I waited until I got home to read this. You are such an amazingly strong woman. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. My heart breaks for what you have been through. I bet that every day he is looking down on you and smiling!
Thank you, Jayme. It’s been a rough road, but we’ve made it through the worst of it (I hope).
Greta this is amazingly beautiful. I don’t know many things for sure, but I KNOW he knows that you all are loved and cared for and treasured.
Thanks, Katie. I hope you’re right. 🙂
Wow. Heartbreaking and so beautiful.
Thank you, SG. I needed to get it out.
I had a knot in my throat the whole way through. I love how positive this letter is though. You are a beautiful mother for being strong and letting your children talk about their father. *hugs*
Thanks, Janice. I made a promise to his family when he died (and to him, and myself) that they would know who their dad was and all about him. It’s only been recently that they understand much, and have been asking questions. They like to look at pictures a lot. 🙂
Not only did I need a tissue for this, I have goose bumps.
Beautiful. Courageous. Strong.
Thank you, Carolyn. I wanted to write out what I would say if I had one more chance to talk to him.
I can’t even begin to understand your strength and resilience. I think about myself and know I’d have crumbled. I admire you so very much. This post has me sobbing and George asking me why I keep reading sad things on the internet. It is sad- but beautiful. You are amazing, your kids are amazing, and I’m happy to know your family.
Oh, Jen, thank you. It was a HARD dark time. I couldn’t have gotten through it without my parents. I did lose it, probably several times, but I know that when you have that baby in your arms (and you will), you’ll understand. I knew that I had to keep it together for them.
Oh, Greta…I am sobbing over here…I can’t even imagine. I do believe that J had something to do with how your life has played out. Your children are so beautiful and the part that got me was…”that you haven’t been completely robbed of that.” I believe he sees and he knows. Your own guardian angel. So happy that slowly we are getting to know each other. You are an amazing woman.
Thank you so much, AnnMarie. I hope he does. And i’m glad to have “met you” too.
Wow, it’s incredible that since mom and dad died, stories/letters like this hit me harder then ever before. To a degree, I know how she feels-that constant ache and hurt in her heart is all too familiar. She sounds like a very strong and courageous woman.
Thank you so much, Leah. I’m sorry that you can relate to this. I’m glad that we’re not alone, but I hate that anybody has to experience the loss of loved ones so close.