I knew of Wendy (formerly Wendy Will Blog) and now Writing a New Story long before I joined The Trend Tribe. I fell in love with her on Pinterest and then I met her in person and couldn’t have been more pleased.
Wendy is native southern Californian, a mom, a breast cancer survivor, breast cancer advocate and has the greatest dimples I’ve probably ever seen.
I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Not long ago (around election season, I’m quite certain), I unfriended almost 100 friends and not just because of their differing political views, which drove me bananas, but because there was little or no interaction and I didn’t see the point. It was very liberating!
Wendy recently unfriended someone who left a snarky comment on one her photos, here is her letter explaining why. I say she’s justified, what do you think?
Dear Former Facebook Friend,
You may or may not be wondering why you aren’t seeing my witty updates in your Facebook feed any longer. Do you remember my last one? I had uploaded some twenty or so photos from my 5-year-old’s recent birthday party. The first photo showed an excited little girl, with a smile from ear to ear, wearing a dress she had personally picked out for her special day. In the nineteen other photos that followed you might have seen a few of her posing arm-in-arm with her little girlfriends, one on the lap of her parents, and one of she blowing out her birthday candles. There were also others of the girls working diligently on crafting fabric flowers and draping dress forms with tissue paper creating what they saw as beautiful masterpieces. Maybe you saw those same sweet girls modeling their creations on the pink carpeted runway.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Let me remind you of the comment you posted on that Facebook photo album. You wrote “What 5 year old wants to go to fashion camp? What does walking a red carpet teach those kids? What happened to nature camp? That’s where you should have taken them.”
Fire rose from my belly and, not only did I delete your comment, I gladly unfriended you.
Those pictures were meant for real friends and family not you and your unsolicited opinions on the type of birthday I threw for my kid. What do you care anyway? For your information, fashion camp rocked. Our girls were doing arts and crafts, you idiot. Art teaches kids to be creative and innovative, it allows children to express themselves, and it can help them learn to problem solve. The “fashion show” part of it? It wasn’t superficial but instead a safe experience where they could share their creations while the parents applauded and nurtured their daughters’ creativity and confidence.
Look, I get that you think you are some hipster dude living off the grid. Reality check: You’re on Facebook way too much to be off the grid. You are a sad, pathetic, almost 40 year old drifter still looking to hook up with 22 year olds in Newport Beach on a Thursday night. For years you’ve waxed poetic about whatever in posts far too long for Facebook. Good riddance.
And if you didn’t know? Mama bears bite back.
Peace out jerk-off,
Wendy
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Totally justified, and she had me… except for the last paragraph. You can friend or unfriend anyone you want, FB is there for your use, not others’ convenience. And the snarky comment was way off base, so good riddance indeed. It’s a little girl’s birthday party, she’s having fun, so how is it any of your business, Dude? But the last paragraph? Personal attacks are never good, even when they might be justified. In the immortal words of REM, Everybody Hurts.
You’re definitely right, Julie. Personal attacks do hurt and I’ve been on the receiving end many times.
My intention with that last paragraph was to contrast his lifestyle to mine. Sadly, it’s not totally flushed out and now it’s too late to edit it.
It’s no excuse but this incident is fresh and I might still be reeling a bit too. Thanks for commenting.
I’ve become a very big fan of Wendy’s since BBC Vegas (where I met Nicole from TT who told me about her). She’s a wonderful writer and I feel like she shares her soul on her blog which is especially inspiring to a new blogger like myself.
This schmuck got what he deserved from Wendy and it sounds like it probably won’t be the last time he’ll hear something similar in nature.
Thanks again Gigi for a great feature post.
Thanks for the love Melissa!
And it’s thanks to the wonder Tonya (not Gigi) for allow me to air my dirty Facebook laundry!
Wendy,
I had RTed Tonya’s link to this post, which is how Melissa probably got here. 🙂
Gotcha!
Completely agree that defriending was justified. What bothers me is that she retorted with name-calling: “idiot” and “jerk-off.” The lesson loses its credibility and impact when it ends in a puddle of mean.
On a bright note… LOVE the idea of fashion camp!!! What a cool mom!
I hear ya, Maureen. I appreciate your comment.
Fashion Camp was cool.
Wendy, this is perfect. Snarky FB comments drive me crazy. My FB posts are NOT intended to impress or amaze the general public. Good for you.
Thank you Sherri!
Amen! How I can’t stand it when certain people on Facebook only comment with something negative. I might comment on their photos or posts with nice things or inquire about their family- and then it’s never reciprocated.
This is one of those great come-backs I always think of after the fact!
Oh girl, I’m the queen of the come back. Only it’s always days later. Thanks for commenting! xo HBU!
Totally justified! That’s where FB bothers me. It’s not somewhere for everyone to post their snarky judge mental nonsense. Things like that irritate me, and can really hurt someone.
Good for you!
I’m all for good snark. But when it’s on a photo of my kid? Not cool. It was just wrong place, wrong time. And, IMO his comment was beyond snark. It was pure criticism about the “kind” of birthday I threw for my child.
Thanks for commenting, Kimberly!
I want to go to fashion camp!
I’m in the midst of unfriending people not because of politics or personal issues with anyone but I just want to carve out a more personal space online where people are just excited to see slightly blurry pictures of my kids.
Fashion camp indeed rocked. They totally offer classes for adults too!
I’m all for unfriending people but I think I’m too much of a stalker to do so. I really enjoy peeking into people’s lives. But I hear you about having a more personal online experience. It’s making me think twice about it for sure.
Thanks for commenting, Alex. P.S. I haven’t seen you on Twitter in forever!
Of course Mama bears bite back! Great read. Loved it.
Thank you Renee!!
Totally and completely justified. I’ve been feeling similarly about FB lately and need and want to go through and cull my friends. I remember when I first signed up for FB so many years ago, it was all about having as many friends as possible. Now? Not so much. I really don’t care about half those people or their snarky comments. Who needs it!
FB is a weird phenomenon, isn’t it? We go about collecting friends and the bigger the better. But why? I think we should refocus our attention on quality vs. quantity.
Now “likes” on my FB fan page is a whole different story! Kidding. Sort of.
Thanks for commenting, Christine!!
I have to agree too. Totally justified.
I’ve defriended people recently and am SO happy not to see their crap in my stream anymore!
Fashion Camp? WTH… I want to go! And I’m pretty sure that my girls would have wanted to go to when they were younger… oh, my 10 yr old would totally go now if we had one here!
OMG Jackie – it was so fun. They offer all kinds of sewing and DIY project camps – mostly starting at 8 years old. The offer mom classes too.
Anyway, thanks for the support – as always!!
I agree with Jackie – I want in on that party.
I would have unfriended, too!
Thanks for the support, Shell!
Love your response. And I have to say, the last paragraph shows just how screwed up his comment was to you. First of all, what on earth is he doing looking through photos of a little girl’s birthday party. Unless you’re family, or your kid is in the photo, or I don’t know–you have a super tight bond with the family and are invested in that kid’s life, WHY would an almost 40 year old dude be scrolling through and take the time to say something like that? He sounds like a skeeze and anyone that takes the time to criticize a parent’s choice for their kids most special day of the year is clearly out of their mind. Sorry. Writing my own paragraph here–but that SO gets under my skin!
That’s awesome, Hillary! Best comment, ever.
Wendy, I recently went on a culling spree on Facebook, and deleted about 100 people. Aside from non-interaction, annoying status updates, which deserved to be gone from my friend list – one person, an old friend and a father of 4 kids all a year or so apart, made a weird, uncalled-for comment on a picture of me at 38 weeks pregnant (I believe he wrote, “What, again?”). I deleted the comment and promptly unfriended him.
So yes, I get it. Absolutely. Comments on kids photos -really, people need to be more tactful and sensitive. Good on you!
Wow. So not appropriate. I would have been pissed!
Thanks for commenting, Alison! xo
oh yes, mama bears do bite back 🙂 they’ll claw your eyes out. Totally understand the fire in your belly. You were proud of that party and that “friend” snatched all of those good feelings away. Nice letter. It’s therapeutic to write like that.
Yes, exactly! Free therapy!
Here’s the other thing a fellow friend and writer pointed out… it wasn’t like I actually said those things (my last paragraph) to the guy. I said it here. In a post he will never read. It’s passive-aggressive at best. And damn it, it made me feel better!
Thanks for commenting, Sarah!
Ooooh… growl.
Birthday parties are for FUN not “just” for education. My kids have some very different choices in the theme they want for their parties (including one based on the 90s cartoon Duck Tales) but I do it, not because of it’s intrinsic value, but because it is a celebration of THEM.
Nature camp indeed. I love the idea of Fashion camp. I bet my 7 year old would love it!!
While I understand why some comments in response to the “snark” at the end of the letter… I get that it was how you were feeling. Didn’t his mom ever teach him, “if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”
Word, AJ! Love it
Ugh! Seriously, good riddance to that jerk! I think Facebook is seriously the LAST place anyone should me rude, mean or condescending! It’s for fun and for sharing memories/photos and keeping in touch with friends. I’m glad that you deleted the comment and then un-friended him. I too have had to delete a few a people that just aren’t good to have in my life anymore. It can be a hard call to make but totally necessary. Speaking of, maybe I should be making a Facebook friend cleanse soon..
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