It’s permanently on my calendar.
It’s always the first Wednesday of every month.
Same time.
Same place.
Sad stories.
Insatiable longing.
Todd was out of town.
The sitter was booked.
But I didn’t want to go.
Not tonight.
I just wasn’t feeling it, that strength needed to share and take in the updates or be supportive.
All day long I kept thinking, there are a hundred things I’d rather do and places I’d rather be, it’s okay to miss one meeting.
But then I forgot to cancel the sitter and when she arrived at our front door I was giddy with delight and got in my car with every intention of going to a movie or the mall. Hiding out at a warm bookstore or nearby Starbucks sounded like the perfect way to spend three hours.
My car, as if it had a mind of it’s own, took the same route I take every other first Wednesday of the month and before I knew it I was sitting with my fellow infertile soldiers baring my soul and sharing the latest stumbling block in my journey.
I laughed, I cried, I tried to be encouraging, nodded with compassion and understanding and I was supported in kind.
I left feeling better and ready to take on a new day… until next month.
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I love ya.
I remember those days/nights. Just wanting to forget and run away to the mall, to anywhere where I didn’t need to think about my struggle, my inability to get pregnant.
I’m glad you went.. Because when we have a place to lay those emotions.. To unload them we are lighter and better.
I won’t give up if you don’t give up. Xo
I’m glad I went too. Turns out it was exactly what I needed and I will continue to attend every month until I’m lucky enough to get (and stay) pregnant again.
It’s like your heart knew better, and took you to where you needed to be.
Much love to you. xoxo
It did indeed. Thank goodness.
You ended up where you needed to be.
Yes!! I did.
I too often dread my grief group therapy meetings every other week but when I get there, I know that I am supposed to be there and they are serving a much bigger purpose in my life then I ever thought possible. Funny that my meetings are also on Wednesday nights too. I also just about always leave feeling much lighter/better then I did before the session. Guess that means something, eh?
XOXO
I would say so. Every other week? Good for you. Keep it up.
Sometimes in those places we really don’t want to be, we find we need to be because someone else needed to hear what we had to say. You are such a love …. i wish you peace and joy and chocolate. Ok, i have no idea why i just typed chocolate, but now i think it is a good idea. xxxxx
Chocolate is always a good idea! And I think you’re right, my being present at those meetings might help others like they help me. I know how important it is that I continue to attend.
Sometimes our hearts know exactly what we need.
I believe that. Wholeheartedly!
I’m so sorry. I cannot imagine. I’m glad you have others who can relate; I’m trying to think of something enlightening to say an I just don’t know what that would be…
No enlightenment needed. It is hard to relate. I totally get that. It is what it is.
I’m glad you went. Just like every single time my brother told me he “almost” didn’t go to his group…but then he did. It’s like something on the inside just…knows.