Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Over 400 Miles To Go

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Another lovely holiday with lots of goodies in tow,
We had over 400 miles to go.

You slept the first two hours full of bliss,
And then suddenly awakened, you were completely pissed.

We stopped for a break, new diaper and food,
Jammies, we thought surely would help achieve an improved attitude?

Then back in the car,
Mommy and Daddy became the ultimate rock stars!

Your expression was priceless and your face all aglow,
As a tiny TV came out of the roof and there appeared your favorite show!

Was it Thomas the Train that saved the day,
Or that nice Toyota dealer who said we couldn’t buy it any other way?

We made it home safe and sound, but the secret is out,
And I think it’s safe to say, car rides will never be the same for our little sprout.

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Ghandi Was A Smart Man

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Lovely thoughts for a happy holiday.

Let’s all try to remember and practice these throughout the New Year.Merry Christmas, everyone!
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The Spirit Of Christmas – Redux

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I originally posted this last year (December 16, 2009 / The Spirit of Christmas) back when I only had 16 followers.

The memories and sentiments remain true today, so with very few edits, I’d like to share it with you again and from my house to yours, Merry Christmas!

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My mother loved Christmastime and our house was always decked out for the holidays. She was the reason Hallmark Cards exists!

We always had a beautiful tree covered with colorful international treasures from our life overseas and all the traveling we had done together.

She loved snow globes and nativity scenes and every year one whole couch would be completely covered with her motley crew of Christmas guys (stuffed animals dressed in red and green).

She had Christmas dishes strewn about the house filled with holiday candy and would have enough baked goods on hand to guarantee at least a three to five pound weight gain after each visit.

She was a big fan of the Christmas letter (writing and receiving them) and she loved shopping for our holiday cards and stationary the day after Christmas for the following year. I remember many 5:00 AM alarms going off on December 26 and the two of us rifling through bins of picked over greeting cards to find enough boxes for everyone on her and my father’s Christmas list. I swear they must have sent 300 cards!

I miss my mother every day but especially during the holiday season. She made Christmas special and a lot more fun with her childlike enthusiasm and overall joy. My dad, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. Sure, he loved the Christmas cookies and other goodies, but growing up, his family would put up their Christmas tree the day before Christmas and take it down the day after, or so he said.

He would often tell my mom to buy what she wanted and he would wrap it and put it under the tree. Over the years, he started to get into it more and I think even began to enjoy picking out gifts for all of us and eventually came to understand the element of surprise, however, his wrapping always left a lot to be desired! See picture above; that is VHS tape wrapped around a present. My dad also had a vast collection of holiday music and liked to play it constantly the week of Christmas.

One of my favorite family holiday traditions on Christmas day was after all the presents were opened and prominently displayed in front of the tree (another tradition), we would go to a movie. Many big blockbusters open on Christmas day and we had fun trying to agree on which one to see. After the movie we would come home and make leftover turkey sandwiches and each have a slice of pie. Chocolate pudding for me, pumpkin for my dad, and pecan for my mom and sister.

It’s hard to believe that this will be my fourth Christmas without my parents and second with Lucas. It is very different now and for me it has lost some of the magic.

Leah and I have kept the tradition of seeing a movie on Christmas Day, followed by lunch together, just the two of us. We spend a lot of time reminiscing and looking forward too.

My in-laws have done their best to include me and my sister in their holiday, but I am looking forward to creating new traditions with Lucas and hopefully seeing some of that lost Christmas spirit shine through him.
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A Symbol Of Love & Loss

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In November 2007, a month after my parents died, my husband, sister and I traveled to Tunisia to visit the school, ACST (American Cooperative School of Tunis), where they worked. We wanted to spend time where they last had, visit with their colleagues and gain some peace and understanding. It was also important to me to be the ones that cleared out their home.

It was a difficult trip to say the least, but necessary for our grieving process. We were met with much understanding and support and much of the time we were not only being consoled but were consoling.

In a very touching ceremony, the school planted two olive trees* in a common area on campus and dedicated one to each of my parents while we were in town.That year for Christmas my husband had an olive tree planted for me in our side yard.

This was taken the day the tree was planted:

It was almost an exact replica to the ones planted for my parents continents away. right down to the white stones. Luckily, however, it is a non olive producing tree, for that would just be a mess!

In three years it has almost doubled in size.

This is me pregnant with Lucas at 30 weeks:

This was taken the day we moved:

I love this tree and will always appreciate the kind gesture that my husband made in finding and having it planted at our home. It will forever remind me of our trip to Tunis, the two trees that grow and bloom there in memory of my parents and of course, my parents themselves.

Todd is working with our old gardener and the new residents to either move the tree to a farm until we buy our next house and can plant it there, or keep it with the old house until we are ready to transplant it.

*The olive tree is native to the Mediterranean and a cultural symbol of Tunisia.

Silvery green leaves are oblong in shape and in spring small white flowers bloom. With age, the trunk is typically gnarled and twisted.

Tunisia produces 500,000 tons of olives each year. Many of Tunisia’s olive trees are believed to be over 2,000 years old.

The olive tree is one of the plants most often mentioned in literature. In Homer’s “Odyssey”, Odysseus crawls beneath two olive tree branches that grow from a single stock. The Roman poet, Horace mentions it in reference to his own diet, which he describes as very simple: “As for me, olives, endives, and smooth mallows provide sustenance.”

Olive trees are symbols of abundance, glory and peace.

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You Know You’re A Mom When-sDaze

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You know you’re a mom when…

  • It is perfectly acceptable to pick up your child and smell his butt.
  • You are trying to discipline your son and are crying you are laughing so hard because he’s is spinning round and round in his ‘naughty chair’.
  • You are not only in the midst of unpacking and settling into your new home, but also gearing up for the holidays and you stop everything to take your child to Disneyland!
  • You are about to head out the door with a ‘To Do’ list a mile long only to find your tot asleep on the couch.
  • You end up eating your meal with your hands because your son just has to have your utensils.
  • No matter how close to the event (party, flight, etc) you dress your child, he still manages get something unexplainable on his shirt.
  • You can’t wait for your child to go down for a nap but then also find yourself anxious for him to wake up so you can play.

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Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

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The day we moved into our new home, it was 80+ degrees and to keep Lucas occupied, we set up his water table in the backyard. He was in heaven!The spacious backyard was one of the main reasons we wanted this house. Sadly, it has done nothing but rain ever since move in day. As of yesterday, Southern California has received six inches of rain in four days and it is suppose to remain gloomy and wet through the rest of the week.

Lucas keeps looking out at the backyard, now a muddy mess, saying “park”. 🙁

I suppose it could be worse, we could live on the east coast and be dealing with snow and freezing temperatures. Us Californians just aren’t used to being this wet.

Here’s to a sunny, or at least dry Christmas Day.

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I Love It When…

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I love it when Lucas is sitting on my lap for a story or next to me on the couch watching TV and his body goes limp and melts into mine. I love feeling him let his weight go. After a while, the rhythm of our breath is in time with each others.

He’s a toddler on the go, so these are fleeting moments that don’t last very long, but we are learning how to relax together.

I love when Lucas runs up to me with a big sparkling smile, arms open wide and gives me a hug. He is starting to be very affectionate, especially when he’s done something naughty. It must be his way of apologizing?

He’s a toddler but somehow already understands the power of touch and importance of affection.

I love overhearing Lucas try to sing along with me, the radio or television. He doesn’t yet know the words to any songs, but he tries his best and often gets the inflection spot on.

He’s a toddler and is already experimenting with his voice and musical abilities.

I love it when Lucas is playing with his “choo choos”, cars or stuffed animals and makes sweet sounds, dances as goes along and creates pathways that not only go all over the house, but up and down my arms and legs too.

He’s a toddler but is using his imagination to expand his world.

He’s a toddler and he is growing up right before my eyes.

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The Rush

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Everything I know about surfing I learned from the 1991 movie Point Break*, which isn’t saying a lot. I live in one of the world’s most popular surf spots and I know nothing about it. I have never been on a board myself but I have always found surfing an intriguing sport, so I wasn’t surprised recently when I spent nearly an hour completely mesmerized by 55 surfers.I watched the tide go in and out dozens of times and I felt like somewhat of a voyeur.

My first observation was that surfers contort their bodies in the most peculiar ways getting in and out of their wet suits, carrying massive and very awkward shaped boards that they then attach to one of their feet. Bizarre. I sat at the water’s edge and thought, how can the ocean be so loud and rough, yet so calming and peaceful at the same time? I frequently walk on the beach and love to take in the sights and smells it offers, but my breath slowed and my body relaxed like it hadn’t in a long time as I positioned myself high on a rock with the beautiful view laid before me.

As the sun glistened on the water, anxious surfers paddled out to sea and there they waited.

And waited.

It was as if they were willing the perfect wave to propel them to shore. Not every wave has a crest capable of such a trip. Surfing is a lesson in patience. It’s a solitary sport.

Just you and the water.

So many factors play a role in providing the perfect wave; the wind, the swell direction and intensity, the time of the year, high or low tide, what’s underneath the water, etc.

Once the right wave appears, the ride and the movements the surfers made looked elegant and effortless from where I sat. Their bodies possessing a balance and ease that I found fascinating. Lyrical.

I didn’t need to question anyone as to why they do it. It’s obvious.

It’s the rush, being one with the water, escaping land and the pursuit of the perfect wave.

Maybe I’ll feel it for myself someday.

*A point break refers to the place where waves hit a point of land or rocks jutting out from the coastline.

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Week One

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In our first week in Orange County we’ve been to Disneyland, the annual Newport Beach Boat Parade and a shopping trip to South Coast Plaza and have managed to settle in to our new home. There are still many boxes to unpack and a garage full of items to organize, but the basics are done.

I was five years old the first time I went to Disneyland in the Summer of 1977. How my parents managed to get this shot without another soul in it is beyond me. Fast forward to 2010 and this is what Sleeping Beauty’s Castle looks like today:Lucas loved his first visit to Disneyland or “the Mickey Mouse park”, as it has come to be known in our house. If you ever get the opportunity to visit during the holiday season, it is really worth it. The Happiest Place on Earth becomes the Merriest Place on Earth with holiday decorations abound and it even snows!

We took Lucas on the It’s a Small World ride and he was bright-eyed and excited the entire time bouncing along to the soundtrack and enjoyed being on the boat, even after waiting in line for 40 minutes.

I was pleasantly surprised that he sat through the entire “A Christmas Fantasy” Parade, which includes all the Disney characters and Santa Claus too, after waiting another 40 minutes. He was mesmerized by the lights and dancers.

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Handing us the park map so we can find our way to the “choo choo”.

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Way more interested in his Mickey balloon than meeting Minnie.

 

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It was a memorable and magical first of many trips.

Back to unpacking…

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