Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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An American Hero

Posted on January 19, 2010 Written by Tonya

I meant to post this yesterday on the United States Federal holiday marking the birth date of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a vital figure of the modern era. His lectures and dialogues stirred the concern and sparked the conscience of a generation. The movements and marches he led brought significant changes in the fabric of American life through his courage and selfless devotion. This devotion gave direction to thirteen years of civil rights activities. His charismatic leadership inspired men and women, young and old, in this nation and around the world.

Dr. King’s concept of “somebodiness,” which symbolized the celebration of human worth and the conquest of subjugation, gave black and poor people hope and a sense of dignity. His philosophy of nonviolent direct action, and his strategies for rational and non-destructive social change, galvanized the conscience of this nation and reordered its priorities. His wisdom, his words, his actions, his commitment, and his dream for a new way of life are intertwined with the American experience.

Dr. King was a pivotal figure in the Civil Rights Movement and he was killed for being outspoken.

Dr. King was shot while standing on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee on April 4, 1968. He was only 39 years old. Dr. King was in Memphis to help lead sanitation workers in a protest against low wages and intolerable working conditions. James Earl Ray was arrested in London, England on June 8, 1968, and returned to Memphis, Tennessee on July 19, 1969 to stand trial for the assassination of Dr. King. On March 9, 1969, before coming to trial, he entered a guilty plea and was sentenced to ninety-nine years in the Tennessee State Penitentiary.

Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech was delivered August 28, 1963 at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. It was not only his most famous speech, but is one of the top speeches ever given. It is a beautiful speech and if you have never read it in it’s entirety, I urge you to do so.

Here is an excerpt:

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” — one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”

The best is yet to be and I believe in dream.

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Imagine The Possibilities!

Posted on January 1, 2010 Written by Tonya

A simple and beautiful thought for New Year’s Day:


The best is yet to be.

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Filed Under: holidays, new year, quotes, warm fuzzy Tagged With: holidays, new year, quotes, warm fuzzy

New Year’s Eve

Posted on December 31, 2009 Written by Tonya

It is New Year’s Eve and it has been over a week since I have posted anything. I have attempted to write a couple of times, but have felt so uninspired and maybe even a little depressed. This always seems to happen to me after the holiday. Christmas comes and goes and I end up feeling like I missed it. I think there is so much hype and preparation, not to mention, pressure and in my case, it’s spending another holiday season without my parents, coupled with being sick on and off for almost two months and, when you aren’t feeling 100% , it’s really hard to truly enjoy anything to it’s fullest. I had a bunch of lab work done on Tuesday, so hopefully I’ll get the results today and be on the mend soon.

You were as cute as ever Christmas morning and loved rolling back and forth under the Christmas tree looking up at all the lights and ornaments. You especially loved all the wrapping paper and we got some very cute photos of you in the middle of it. You kept the smile on my face all week and I am grateful.

I enjoyed being with my sister and in-laws and spending time with friends over the week of Christmas, but I’m ready to slow down and resume our simple little lives. We have been busy the last few days; celebrating your dad’s 38th birthday on Tuesday night by having several friends over and going out last night with to watch my alma mater, University of Arizona get their asses kicked in the Holiday Bowl. We have absolutely no plans tonight to ring in the new year and I am just fine with that. Your dad fell going down the stairs this morning and is at the doctor’s office now having his ankle x-rayed, so a quiet night in will be perfect. I hope we can stay up until midnight!

I’m looking forward to a new year and a new decade and finding inspiration again soon. With you and your dad by my side, I shouldn’t have to much difficulty with that.

However you choose to celebrate tonight, have fun and please be safe.

The best is yet to be.

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Filed Under: health, holidays

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2009 Written by Tonya

You were overwhelmed last night for sure, falling asleep before all the guests for your daddy’s birthday party arrived and then waking up to an explosion of almost 20 people in your grandparent’s living room. The children outnumbered the adults, so you were in heaven. You love watching people your size!

You spent another mellow day indoors today with your dad and grandma while your aunt and I spent the afternoon going to lunch and discussing her upcoming move to LA(!), did some last minute Christmas shopping and bought the ingredients for tomorrow’s appetizers.

I know you are still not feeling well with your runny nose and hoarse voice. Poor baby! Could there anything worse that a sick infant?

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
or A Visit From St. Nicholas, as it was originally called is based on the poem written in 1822 by Clement Clarke Moore for his six children and it is one of my favorite Christmas books and for those of you who haven’t read it yet this holiday season, here you go:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

The best is yet to be and a Happy Christmas to all, indeed.

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A Not So Perfect Christmas

Posted on December 23, 2009 Written by Tonya

We have been in the Bay Area since Sunday and the weather outside is definitely frightful. You are battling your very first cold, which has presented some new challenges and frustrations but, nevertheless, it’s nice to be with family for the holiday. Your Aunt Leah arrived yesterday and your daddy this morning. Despite feeling crummy, your face lit up like a Christmas tree (pun intended) when you saw both of them.

Tonight we will celebrate your daddy’s 38th birthday a few days early by feasting on a spread from his favorite Mexican restaurant, Mecca with close friends that live in the area. I expect you to be overwhelmed and irritable all the while trying to also be your little charming self.

I haven’t heard too many Christmas carols this holiday season, but I love them and they make me think about what the perfect Christmas would be, if there was such a thing.

I love Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime”, the traditional “A Christmas Song”, “Sleigh Ride” and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”, but my favorite one’s is “My Grown Up Christmas List”. I love the Natalie Cole version, but many others have recorded it.

I know there’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas, but if there were, this list sums up my grown up wish list and my idea of a perfect Christmas.

My Grown Up Christmas List

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I’m all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I’m not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here’s my lifelong wish
My grown up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal the heart
And everyone would have a friend

And right would always win
And love would never end
oh,
This is my grown up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something shiny
Wrapped beneath the tree

But heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend

And right would always win
And love would never end
Oh, This is my grown up Christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh

This is my grown up Christmas list
This is my only life long wish
This is my grown up Christmas list

The best is yet to be and I hope you feel better by Christmas morning.

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Filed Under: holidays, lyrics, weather

The Spirit Of Christmas

Posted on December 16, 2009 Written by Tonya

My mother loved Christmastime and our house was always decked out for the holidays. She is the reason Hallmark exists! We always had a beautiful tree covered with colorful international treasures from our life overseas and all the traveling we had done together. She loved snow globes and nativity scenes and every year one whole couch would be completely covered with her motley crew of Christmas guys (stuffed animals dressed in red and green). She had Christmas dishes strewn about the house filled with holiday candy and would have enough baked goods on hand to guarantee at least a three to five pound weight gain after each visit. She was a big fan of the Christmas letter (writing and receiving them) and she loved shopping for our holiday cards and stationary the day after Christmas for the following year. I remember many 5:00 AMs on December 26 rifling through bins of picked over greeting cards to find enough boxes for everyone on her and my father’s Christmas list. I swear they sent 300 cards!

I miss my mother every day but especially during the holiday season. She made Christmas special with her childlike enthusiasm and overall joy.

My dad, on the other hand was the exact opposite. Sure, he loved the Christmas cookies, but growing up, his family would put up their Christmas tree the day before Christmas and take it down the day after, or so he said. He would often tell my mom to buy what she wanted and he would wrap it and put it under the tree. Over the years, he started to get into it more and I think even began to enjoy picking out gifts for all of us and eventually came to understand the element of surprise, however, his wrapping always left a lot to be desired! See picture above; that is VHS tape wrapped around a present. My dad also had a vast collection of holiday music and liked to play it constantly the week of Christmas.

One of my favorite family holiday traditions on Christmas day was after all the presents were opened and prominently displayed in front of the tree (another tradition), we would go to a movie. Many big blockbusters open on Christmas day and we had fun trying to agree on which one to see. After the movie we would come home and make leftover turkey sandwiches and each have a slice of pie. Chocolate pudding for me, pumpkin for my dad, and pecan for my mom and sister.

This will be my third Christmas without my parents and it is very different now; and for me it has lost some of the magic. My in-laws have done their best to include me and my sister in their holiday, but I am looking forward to creating new traditions with Lucas and hopefully seeing some of that lost Christmas spirit shine through him.

The best is yet to be.

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Guest Post

Posted on December 15, 2009 Written by Tonya

We love it when your aunt Leah visits, especially during the holiday. Today, we took you Christmas shopping and to lunch. You were not exactly in the holiday spirit, so we ended up shopping in shifts, but we got a lot done and had fun doing it (thanks to a much needed cocktail break!).

Here is your aunt Leah’s holiday post:

December 14, 2009

Seasons Greetings, Lucas! Welcome to your first holiday season! I know for a fact that Santa will be very good to you this Christmas! As your aunt, I feel like it’s my responsibility to spoil you rotten all the time but now that the holidays are upon us, I feel that way even more. I just love seeing your face light up when you see something new and exciting. But to be honest, the older you get the more joy you’ll get from opening up presents.

You simply cannot enjoy a holiday like Christmas without children around. They go hand-in-hand. The older I get, the sillier buying lots of gifts for everyone in the family seem. What we should be giving to each other is love and more of our time. I promise to always be generous with my love and with my time for you. Don’t get me wrong; I totally understand that it’s hard for children not to be greedy when relatives keep asking them to name all the toys they want. Parents and adults need to teach kids the true Christmas spirit without completely removing the gift-giving factor. It can be done.

I have no doubt that your mom and dad will show you how to appreciate the true meaning of Christmas, as you grow older.

I recently found this quote and I think it sums up my feelings about this holiday:

“The hidden meaning is that Christmas is the festival of the human heart. It is a time of year when all the universe conspires to raise the vibratory level of consciousness on earth to one of peace and love toward ourselves and one another. This season resonates to the sweet, childlike innocence that resides in all of us. A time when the heavenly forces inspire us to shift our focus away from fear and toward one of joy, and healing.” – Sonia Choquette

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Lucas and I promise the best is yet to be in 2010!

Thanks, Leah. We are looking forward to spending the holiday with you too and are so happy that you are going to be such a big part of Lucas’ first Christmas.

The best is yet to be indeed.

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Filed Under: aunt leah, guest post, holidays

Chickmas

Posted on December 13, 2009 Written by Tonya

As I have already shared, (Creature Of Habit) I don’t cook, but occasionally I do enjoy baking. ‘Tis the season and because my PMS is in full swing, last night, after we put you to bed, my sister and I watched It’s a Wonderful Life and made cookies. Peanut Butter Blossoms with Hershey’s Kisses and Oatmeal Chocolate Chip to be exact and they didn’t turn out half bad. In other words, they were perfect and hit the spot! Well, I can’t be trusted with eight dozen cookies in my house, so I’m sharing them.

Tonight is what my girlfriends and I affectionately call Chickmas, where we get together, act silly, enjoy too much wine (or is it enjoy too much wine and then act silly?) and have a sort of white elephant-type gift exchange. Except in this gift exchange, the gifts are pretty nice (or naughty) and so ensues the stealing of the gifts. My dear friend, Nancy hosts this much anticipated soiree and it’s always a very fun night.

Here’s hoping my cookies will be a big hit at the party and that I end up with a great steal-worthy gift. 🙂

The best is yet to be. Happy Chickmas, everyone!

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Bah Humbug

Posted on December 11, 2009 Written by Tonya

I needed to run 19 errands today (okay, give or take 10) and we got to three (the gas station doesn’t count). Someone, I’ll just call him Mr. Fussypants for the purposes of this post, wasn’t having it. He screamed at the top of his lungs at each and every place we went today thoroughly embarrassing me and making me sweaty. He downed two bottles in nothing flat because they were the only things that seemed to keep him happy on our big whopping 90 minute outing.

I’ve had it, he’s had it and I still have a million things to do.

With just two weeks until Christmas, I’m at the point where we all get (I hope I’m not the only one?!) where I hate the holiday season. I hate the rushing around, I hate the traffic, I hate the pressure (mostly self-induced), I hate being sick for the fourth week in a row (!), I hate the rain and cold and stupid drivers and long lines and decorations and over the top cheeriness and greeting cards (even though ours are done and very cute: Happy Holidays!) and I am just wishing it were July!

I am taking a deep breath and counting to 10 and you, my darling baby are taking a much needed nap.

I am looking forward to your aunt Leah being here tomorrow night. Not only is she a wonderful source for comic relief, but maybe after a few laughs, I can have her watch you for a couple of hours and escape to get some of my holiday crap done. 🙂

The best is yet to be?

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Happy Holidays 2009

Posted on December 11, 2009 Written by Tonya

Whew! I am proud to announce that our holiday card is in the mail.

It was quite the feat taking the photo, choosing a design and writing text that your dad and I could both agree upon, getting the darn thing ordered, and addressing and stamping the envelopes, but it’s done.

Here is a sneak peak:

The best is yet to be!

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