MY FIRST POST

My first Letters For Lucas post was Dear Baby Boy, a letter I wrote to Lucas before he was born. I wrote this letter when my heart was light and my cares were few. I was bursting in anticipation to meet our son and loved every minute of being pregnant with him. Looking back, I took my entire pregnancy for granted. I was native. I didn’t realize at the time what a miracle getting pregnant and staying pregnant was. A long hard three and half year battle with secondary infertility would teach me what a gift bringing a child into this world truly is.

Our baby girl will be here very soon and I know her arrival is going to be something I will have a hard time putting into words. It’s hard for my brain to go there even now as I feel her slowly move and adjust inside my belly. I can’t wait to meet her and hold her and kiss her and be her mother.

I wrote the following letter on Sunday, December 22 at 3:53 AM, I was 35 weeks pregnant:

Dear Baby Girl,

In just a few short weeks you will be here and I’m feeling surreal, scared and overwhelmingly happy. Finally, after years of trying, years of hoping and wishing and praying for you, you will be here.

My daughter. I never thought I would be the mother of a daughter, but now I can’t wait! It is such a wonderful time to be a woman in this world and I already know what a fighter you are.

You aren’t even here yet and I have fallen madly and completely in love with you and you will never know how much I have dreamt about the day we meet, in fact just thinking about it makes my heart twinge and eyes fill with tears. You are so very wanted and we have been waiting for you for so very long.

This is an exciting time for our family, we just moved into a beautiful new house but I know it won’t be until after your arrival that it starts to feel like a home; that it feels complete.

Your brother is anxious to meet you too and is already very protective of you. I hope the two of you will be the best of friends and that you protect him as well. He is an amazing boy and I know he will be a good big brother to you. Some day when your father and I are gone, he will be all you have left of us. Be there for one another and always be strengthening your relationship.

I know that you and I will have our ups and downs but we are forever bonded as mother and daughter and I will cherish you and our relationship always. May you never ever doubt my love.

Anxiously awaiting your arrival.

With all my love,
your mother

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more.

– A Thousand Years, Christina Perri

(This was my “go to” song so many times throughout this journey to have you and I love the lyrics.)

I can’t believe I’m actually going to attempt to keep a blog! I know several mothers that do and I enjoy reading theirs, so I guess I was feeling some self inflicted pressure to have my own.

I don’t even think I’ll let anyone know about it for a while, or at least not until I have a few entries. Whoever ends up reading this, please know that I don’t claim to be a very good writer – I get long winded and tend to use the wrong punctuation. What can I say, I like commas.

I want this to be a documentation of Lucas’ life, a way to capture all of his milestones and record my feelings on motherhood. My plan is to treat it as an online journal and I will keep it as if I’m writing letters to my son.

I promise to give it my best effort for I know what smiles it will bring (both of us) later when I reread it, plus it’s way better than talking to myself, especially since I’m certain my son already thinks I’m crazy.

What better way to start Letters to Lucas than sharing a letter I wrote him before he was even born?

Dear Baby Boy,

With all the words I know; all the quotes I’ve collected over the years, the song lyrics that have moved me and made me feel alive, the dialogues from movies and television shows that have brought me to tears, and passages in books that I have underlined because it felt like they reached out and spoke directly to me, I am at a complete loss for the perfect words to share with you that will convey how much you are wanted and loved and how glorious and kind I hope the world is to you as you make your journey through it. In return, I hope you are kind and glorious right back!

I will try my very best to be the parent you need, when you need it, I only ask a few things of you: dream big, read as much as you can, travel as far as you can, never stop asking questions, and always be good to your father. He is an amazing husband, will be an amazing father and deserves all of your love and respect.

You were created with love, carried with hope and welcomed with joy.

Love,
Mommy

The best is yet to be.

Dear Baby Girl

Related Posts:

Dear Baby Boy

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

What I Write About