my letters

In The Blink Of An Eye

Posted on February 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

Dear Lucas,

It’s hard to imagine you as a teenager when you are currently in diapers, learning your colors, letters and numbers, trying to ween off the bottle, temper your temper tantrums and are about to begin potty training (God help me!).

But, in the blink of an eye, you’ll be there: adolescence. I am so excited for you and all the wonderful things you are about to experience.

You are a delightful toddler and bring so much joy my life. Although we have had our struggles, our bond is strong in large part, I’d like to think, because I let you be your own person. It took a while, but I soon realized that you needed your independence in order to thrive. You have had a strong disposition and character from the moment you were born and both have earned my respect. I hope we always have this comfortable unspoken understanding and that we remain close.

I also hope that you are as sweet today as you were when you were small; that you smile and greet strangers, are polite, kind and considerate and that you never lose your sense of curiosity.

You are in such an amazing time of your life; not quite an adult and no longer a child. You are growing physically and emotionally, so be patient with yourself because being a teenager can be confusing, frustrating and stressful, but also a whole lot of fun! In other words, don’t be afraid to get into trouble every now and then, just no collect calls from jail, please.

No matter what you are going through, your dad and I will always be here to answer any questions you may have and we will do it openly and honestly, with only your best interests at heart. Come to us with anything, day or night. Just know that sometimes the advice we offer, you won’t want to hear. Try to trust us, we were teenagers once too.

The friends you make and the experiences you are having right now will shape your future. Think twice about the decisions you are faced with, seek advice when needed and along the way, explore, enjoy and endure. It goes by so fast.

Please remember how important family is and that we want to be there for all your highs and lows. For as long as I live, or as long as you’ll let me, I will support you, clothe you, feed you and be your biggest cheerleader, no matter what you do.

I love you more than words can express. Today and always.

Love,
Mom

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: Prompt 4.) A letter to your future teen.

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XOXO

Posted on January 27, 2011 Written by Tonya

My dearest DC,

Nothing gets me going like you do.

To me, you are quite simply… perfect.

You are my strength and my weakness.

You are one of the very first things I think of when I wake up in the morning because it is then that I need you so.

Our relationship began when I was in college and while others were touting their need for coffee, I stuck by your side never giving coffee another thought.

You make my heart beat a little faster and my eyes twinkle a little brighter.

I’m no fool, I know I’m not alone in this love. I know that you have lots of admirers, but when it’s just us, my world quiets and I feel like I’m the only one. Thank you for that.

Thank you, too for always being there on my grocery list and in my refrigerator, because I don’t think I could go a day without your smile. It’s true, I have a jealous streak and have even warned family members and babysitters alike never, under no circumstances to take the last of you or there will be hell to pay.

I know I don’t tell you often enough how much you mean to me with your no calories, no sugar and sweet wonderful help-me-get-up-and-go chemicals I can’t pronounce, but it is your secret formula that does the trick every time. I so enjoy the pleasure of your company.

I hate to admit that I have been unfaithful when you weren’t available, but Diet Pepsi nor Diet Dr. Pepper are nearly as refreshing as you. It’s your effervescent personality that keeps me loyal today and always.

Yours truly,
Tonya
xoxo

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: Prompt 2.) Write a love poem to afavorite food. It was not a food, but a drink, Diet Coke that I chose to profess my undying love to. I have written about my obsession once (I Heart Diet Coke) or twice (I Don’t Like Coffee) before.

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A Letter From Lucas

Posted on August 19, 2010 Written by Tonya

Dear Mommy,

I know we are still getting to know each other, but here’s what I can tell about you so far:

You must adore reading because I have a million books and you read to me all. the. time.

You must take pride in me looking my best because I’m always dressed in a matching shirt and pants. I’m always very comfy too.

You must yearn for whatever is in that funny red and white can because it’s the first thing you drink every morning. When are you going to let me have a taste?

You must delight in seeing me smile because you sing silly songs, make silly voices, and perform silly dances that make me laugh.

You must care for me a lot because you take me to the doctor when I’m sick, bathe me, brush my teeth (all six of them) every night, clean my ears and nose (which I hate), keep my nails cut back and make all of my food at home from fresh organic produce.

You must think I’m pretty cute because you constantly have a camera in my face. I must admit, I love seeing pictures of myself too.

You must enjoy the outdoors because we go for a walk almost every day, just when I start to get a little fussy. I like it when you point out surfers, trees, plants and dogs.

You must savor turkey sandwiches because we stop to get one several times a week. At least now I’m getting my own!

You must want me to be a well-rounded individual because you take me to music class, swimming lessons, trips to far away places and let me play with finger paints.

You must assume I enjoy going to the place with all the food and bright lights more than I like going to the place with the fish and Legos. You’re wrong.

You must really like that small white rectangular shaped thing you carry around with us everywhere because you talk to people on it (like Daddy!), take photos with it and do a lot of typing on it all day long. Sometimes I get to see Elmo on it, which is very fun for me.

You must need alone time every now and then because you leave me at home with different women and disappear for a few hours each week. I miss you while you are gone but, truth be told, I enjoy this time apart too.

You must cherish your friends because we spend a lot of time visiting with them. Lucky for me they all seem to have babies too!

You must appreciate it when I lay in my crib and fall asleep because when I wake up, you are always very happy to see me.

You must love me a lot because you give me lots of hugs and kisses.

You must believe that I am special because you tell me every day.

I love you a lot too and I am very glad you’re my mommy.

Love,
Lucas

The best is yet to be.

This post is forMama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #1Dear Mommy and/or Daddy…(write a letter to yourself from one of your children)

A Love Letter

Posted on August 4, 2010 Written by Tonya

Three years ago, I married my partner, lover and friend.

In just three short years, we have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

A month and a half after we got married, my father-in-law underwent heart surgery for a congenital heart defect. He made it through with flying colors and today is better than ever, but this was a very emotional time for us as newlyweds.

A month later, both of my parents died of carbon monoxide poisoning while living and working as educators in Tunis, Tunisia. My husband was amazing during this, the saddest and most confusing time in my life. He took my younger sister and I under his wing and helped us plan a double funeral, a trip to Tunisia and navigated us through countless decisions regarding their estate.

During this time I could not give him what he gave me and I will forever be grateful. He listened and held me and encouraged me to do whatever I needed in order to adjust to my new “normal”.

While I walked into walls for nine months trying to keep my wits about me and a career I loved, we decided that the best thing for me to do would be to leave my job as a marketing manager to focus on my grief, settle my parents estate, spend time with family and start planning a family of our own.

With hope in our hearts, just 10 months later, we welcomed to the world our son Lucas. Our pride and joy and new reason for living.

In three years, we have made our house a home, taken wonderful trips together, cried together, laughed together, fought like cats and dogs, grown stronger as a couple and as individuals and made two three. We recently suffered a miscarriage but are slowly, but surely bouncing back stronger than ever. I can’t wait to see what our future holds.

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. – Paul Sweeney

I am so lucky to have found this incredible man to go through life with. A man that makes my toes curl and my blood boil; makes me laugh, makes me think and forces me *kicking and screaming* to be the best version of myself. He is a wonderful father and a good person.

I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate everything you do for me and us and I love you. Happy Anniversary, Todd. xoxo

The best is yet to be.

This is my 300th post!! How fitting that is a love letter to my husband because without this blog, I’d quite possibly be a bigger pain-in-the-ass than I already am!

Dear Baby Boy

Posted on August 27, 2009 Written by Tonya

I can’t believe I’m actually going to attempt to keep a blog! I know several mothers that do and I enjoy reading theirs, so I guess I was feeling some self inflicted pressure to have my own.

I don’t even think I’ll let anyone know about it for a while, or at least not until I have a few entries. Whoever ends up reading this, please know that I don’t claim to be a very good writer – I get long winded and tend to use the wrong punctuation. What can I say, I like commas.

I want this to be a documentation of Lucas’ life, a way to capture all of his milestones and record my feelings on motherhood. My plan is to treat it as an online journal and I will keep it as if I’m writing letters to my son.

I promise to give it my best effort for I know what smiles it will bring (both of us) later when I reread it, plus it’s way better than talking to myself, especially since I’m certain my son already thinks I’m crazy.

What better way to start Letters to Lucas than sharing a letter I wrote him before he was even born?

Dear Baby Boy,

With all the words I know; all the quotes I’ve collected over the years, the song lyrics that have moved me and made me feel alive, the dialogues from movies and television shows that have brought me to tears, and passages in books that I have underlined because it felt like they reached out and spoke directly to me, I am at a complete loss for the perfect words to share with you that will convey how much you are wanted and loved and how glorious and kind I hope the world is to you as you make your journey through it. In return, I hope you are kind and glorious right back!

I will try my very best to be the parent you need, when you need it, I only ask a few things of you: dream big, read as much as you can, travel as far as you can, never stop asking questions, and always be good to your father. He is an amazing husband, will be an amazing father and deserves all of your love and respect.

You were created with love, carried with hope and welcomed with joy.

Love,
Mommy

The best is yet to be.

In The Blink Of An Eye

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