nanny

10 Things I Wish My Babysitter Knew

Posted on May 8, 2015 Written by Tonya

Since September I have had a sitter two days a week, 4-5 hours each day to watch Lola.

Her sole responsibility during those 8 to 10 hours is to watch Lola, keep her safe, feed her a bottle and lunch when she wakes from her nap and do some very light housekeeping.

Typically Lola sleeps for two hours on each of those days.

One of those days I ask the sitter to do both children’s laundry. Two loads. Wash, dry, fold and put away.

It’s kind of a kick job if you ask me.

We pay well, provide meals and the hours are somewhat flexible.

I have had three different young women in this position. The first one was too old and too ill to keep up with an energetic toddler, my last one was the best, but she took on a full time job. Our current one… ugh!!

Here is a list I wish I could give her:

Dear Jane (not her real name, by the way),

If you haven’t already guessed by now, I’m completely anal about our house and the care of our children. Having said that, despite numerous conversations you and I have had, here are a few things that I wish you ~~could get through your thick skull~~ knew:

1. If I call you, pick up your phone. The same goes for texts.

2. If there is an incident while I am out, especially if blood is involved, contact me immediately. No exceptions. I really don’t want to find another bloody T-shirt balled up in the bottom of the laundry hamper.

3. Poopy diapers must be walked outside to the physical garbage can.

4. If Lola is napping I don’t mind if you take a ~~break~~ nap, however, please pick up any messes that you and/or Lola have made first. I believe that my house should look exactly the way I left it upon my return. I don’t want to do your dishes.

5. I do not provide doggie bags or to-go cups.

6. If you are going to be later than 10 minutes, you need to let me know.

7. Never, ever put a bottle in the crib with Lola. Ever!

8. A little exercise and sunshine are good for everyone. Please go outside!! Or if you are going to stay in, try one of the age-appropriate activities from the play time activity book I have left out, dogeared and made notes all over that I leave out for you every day you are here. Just saying.

9. Don’t feed Lola anything we haven’t already talked about. I’m still pissed about the apple juice.

10. I really don’t know what’s wrong with the outfits I lay out for Lola and why you refuse to put them on her. Seriously, what’s up with that?

Lastly, I realize I sound like a complete ~~bitch~~ control freak, but you should know I truly appreciate your time and all your efforts. Thank you.

I know how much you love Lola, I do trust you with her and I love the photos you send me.

I know when I walk out the door, my daughter is in good hands.

Sort of.

With kind regards and a hopeful heart,
Tonya

Bassinets, Cribs & Sleigh Beds

Thoughts From The Massage Table

Posted on February 21, 2011 Written by Tonya

Anyone that knows me will tell you that I have a really hard time relaxing.

A glass or three of wine usually does the trick, as does a long walk, sitting down for more than five minutes at a time, a long car ride, as long as I’m NOT the one driving and there is ZERO traffic and a massage.

I LOVE getting massages so I was thrilled when my husband told me that he booked us spa appointments for the day before Valentine’s day. It had been over eight months since my last massage and I was really looking forward to it!

While it was very relaxing, my mind was in a million other places… here are my thoughts from the massage table:

Did I remember to lay out Lucas’ jammies and overnight diaper for the sitter? Oh, why would I need to do that, she has put him to bed before.

I wish I had had more time on the treadmill before coming in here. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

No, tomorrow, there will be no time for exercise. Music class followed by play date…

Dang it! Why didn’t I pee first?

At least I brushed my teeth. Whew!

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ahhhhh….

Why don’t I get massages more often?!

I have to remember to drink more water tomorrow.

I should drink more water anyway.

I can’t believe I haven’t had a Diet Coke in six days!

Okay, that really hurts! What is this lady doing to me? I don’t think my leg is meant to bend that way.

Shoot, I forgot to call my mother-in-law back. Again. When was it that she left that message? Oh yes, the day I took Lucas up to LA to visit Leah. Over a week ago. Gulp.

I hope Leah’s interview goes well tomorrow. But, Malibu? That would be a hellish commute. I guess for the right job…

How do massage therapists do this every day? Touching so many people’s feet would gross me out.

I hope the pants I brought to wear to dinner fit. I can’t remember the last time I wore them.

Did I bring the right bra?

What should I order for dinner?

That tickles.

Stop wincing.

I really wish I had peed first.

What is that heavenly smell? Is it lavender? Jasmine? Hmm… do I dare ask her? No, I do NOT want to engage!

Besides, I’m suppose to be relaxing.

post signature

No Related Posts

Guilty As Charged

Posted on July 6, 2010 Written by Tonya

Where does a mother’s guilt come from?

Guilt implies that you have done something wrong.

What’s a better word for “guilt”?

Worry?

Regret?

What is it about being a mother that means you end up carrying so much of it (whatever you call it) around?

Does a mother’s guilt ever subside or does it just grow and manifest with each passing year? God, help me if it is the latter!

I find myself feeling guilty almost every single day about something having to do with the way in which I am raising my son. I feel lost some days on this journey called motherhood and a lot of the time like I’m fumbling through it with very little direction.

At this point, I know what I’m doing. I mean, I have the basics down (I think). Lucas is a very happy, healthy 13 month old, who’s well-dressed, well-fed, has a room of his own and a gazillion toys and other apparatuses to keep him safe and entertained, but yet, I still worry.

A lot.

I worry that he is getting everything he needs from me in the form of time and comfort, that he’s being exposed to the right toys, books, foods, activities, amount of sunlight, etc., etc., etc.

We spend A LOT of time together. I worry about that.

I worry that he’ll NEVER learn to drink from a cup. Every few days I try to get him to use a sippy cup and he plays with it like it’s a new toy.

I’ve been known to stick him in front of the television for 30 minutes of peace and quiet and that causes me a lot of guilt.

Oh yeah, another thing to feel guilty about: We may have found a new nanny for my 10 hour a week break… she started today and so far so good, but lots of guilt there!

I feel guilty when I don’t exercise or think I’m not taking the best care of myself because I waited so long to have a child that I feel like I owe him the healthiest fittest version of myself for as long as I can be here. Nothing like putting a little pressure on myself, is there?

The guilt is never ending and can be all consuming if I let it. I know I need to let some of this (most of it) go, but how do you do that? How do you handle the guilt that comes with being a mother?

The best is yet to be.

This post is for the word game, Word Up, Yo!hosted by Natalie (Mommy of a Monster), Kristin (Taming Insanity) and Liz (a belle, a bean and a chicago dog).

If you like words too, you should play along!
This week’s word is fumble.

No Related Posts

Desperately Seeking Mary Poppins

Posted on June 29, 2010 Written by Tonya

I am so frustrated with our nanny search that I am ready to pull my hair out!! See photo demonstration at right.

If you haven’t been following along… Up until last week, we had a wonderful young woman named Angel help care for Lucas two days a week for 5 hours each day and less than a month ago, she gave us her notice. (Saddest. Day. Ever.) She and her husband decided to move to Idaho so that he could go back to school. We were/are genuinely happy for her, supportive of her decision and had hoped that she would find us a replacement. She had previously placed nannies as part of her career and we had every confidence in her abilities.

Angel brought us ONE candidate that seemed like the perfect match, but in the end decided to devote more time to the family she is currently with, a widower and his two daughters. We can’t really blame her for that… they need her more than we do.

It was an interesting interview though. It turns out that she recently discovered that she can’t have children and broke down in tears while we were talking. My heart goes out to anyone that is unable to have children of their own and something inside me knew that she would be perfect with Lucas. This outward display of emotion and honest disclosure was refreshing.

Alas, it wasn’t meant to be…

It was shortly there after that Angel decided “it would be best if I hand over nanny search responsibilities to you. I still have a lot of packing to do and want to make sure that I get it done on time.” Um, are you kidding me? With only days until you are leaving, you drop this all on us? Great! Angel, I know you read this and I’m sorry, but that was super crummy and very disappointing.

Okay, never one to back away from a challenge, I immediately signed up for Sittercity.com on the recommendation of several friends and instantly had an In Box full of applications. Girls that clearly can’t read or comprehend the words LONG TERM AVAILABILITY IS A MUST. We don’t want to be in this situation again in three months.

I have had ten phone interviews in four days and two face-to-face interviews and still no one very promising. Here are some highlights for your amusement:

One girl is three months pregnant and wants to bring her baby to our home with her once she delivers.
One girl currently lives in Cleveland! We live in San Diego. She is moving out here, but not until next month.
Many girls are teachers and are waiting with baited breath for a teaching job offer. PLEASE READ THE AD!
Others are students and are looking for summer-only work. AGAIN, READ THE AD!
There has also been a plethora of applications that have been downright illegible, riddled with spelling errors and incoherent sentences. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET VERY FAR WITH ME WITHOUT GOOD GRAMMAR!!

Ugh! This is so much harder than I thought. It’s like trying to find a mate, but WAY worse!!

Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me to suck it up and be a 40 hour a week Stay At Home Mom. Who needs 10 hours of “me time” anyway?

I DO and I shutter at the thought of giving up those 600 minutes up each week. Nanny Gods, please, please, please, send someone fabulous our way!! Thank you.

The best is yet to be.

This post is for the word game, Word Up, Yo! hosted by Natalie (Mommy of a Monster), Kristin (Taming Insanity) and Liz (a belle, a bean and a chicago dog).

If you like words too, you should play along!
This week’s word is plethora.

No Related Posts

Saddest. Day. Ever.

Posted on June 7, 2010 Written by Tonya

Last week our beloved nanny told us she and her husband will be moving to Idaho at the end of the month. Needless to say, telecommuting won’t work in this particular case.

It was a very sad day in our house.

Before you judge, yes, I have a nanny and I have come to depend, rely and cherish the 10 short hours each week that she is here for me to get a million different things done without my little side kick in tow.

I find a certain salvation in our nanny, along with long walks, work outs, naps, doctor, dentist, hair, and nail appointments, lunches with my husband, friends, sister and even mother-in-law. It is the time that I need for myself to recharge, step out of the mommy role for a little bit and gain a sense of accomplishment. Not that raising my little boy doesn’t already provide that, but I’m not referring to the ‘how many bottles I made’ or ‘tantrums I lived through’ variety.

Sure, we’ll find someone else and luckily Lucas is too young to be that attached to Angel, but I certainly am, I really REALLY like her and I’m going to miss her terribly.

The best is yet to be.

No Related Posts

Ten Months

Posted on April 6, 2010 Written by Tonya

Your grandma is coming to visit today and it also marks your tenth month with us; and what a great month it was! The most exciting accomplishment you had this month was that you started crawling and it has been so much fun to watch you explore your world and enjoy your independence. Here are some of your other milestones at ten months. This month you:

Learned to pull yourself up to standing and usually only hold on with one hand.
Have slammed your pudgy little fingers into drawers and cabinets more than once and gotten yourself stuck under our coffee table and bar stools. I am told that it is all a part of your new found freedom and exploration.
Recognize puppies, babies, books, the train and of course, mom, dad, aunt Leah and nanny Angel.
Use sign language to indicate when you are “all done”, want “more” and hear the train passing by.
Love to people watch as much as your dad and I do, which make places like the park and airport do-able.
Your diet has expanded to include chicken, cheese, kidney beans, lentils, spinach and potatoes.
Graduated from your first music class and have started a second one.
Visited the Wild Animal Park.
Celebrated your first Easter and met the Easter Bunny.
Have been wearing the Doc Band for 42 days today… we are almost half way there and I am happy to report that it is doing exactly what it’s meant to.
Bounce to music.
Still have blue eyes.
Attended your fourth one year old’s birthday party.
Love to knock blocks, or anything will work, together to make noise.
Hosted your first Mommy & Me play group.
Can roll a ball back and forth to us.

I can’t wait to see what the next month has in store for you!

As a side note, the photo above was taken with my iPhone using a very cool new photography app I downloaded called Hipstamatic. Check it out!

The best is yet to be.

Day 42/100

No Related Posts

Bon Appetit

Posted on January 30, 2010 Written by Tonya

I’m convinced, homemade baby food is the way to go and it is so easy!

Making my own baby’s food gives me total control over what is in it i.e. no additives or preservatives or any other chemicals that I can’t pronounce, and if I can do it, so can you (see my previous post, Creature of Habit regarding my lack of experience and comfort when it comes to the kitchen).

I love that I didn’t need to buy some fancy contraption, like the Beaba Babycook Baby Food Maker for $150 or the industrial strength Vita-Mix 5200 (whatever that is?!). Everything I needed was already in my kitchen…a wire steamer basket, a Cuisinart and muffin tins. Have I mentioned how easy it is? The directions are simple: steam veggies and fruit, or boil meats, puree the heck out of them and then freeze. Depending on your appetite, I have at least two months of brown rice, acorn squash, sweet potatoes and pears on hand.

I recently heard journalist and author, Michael Pollan* say “you can feed your family fast food cheaper than you can buy fresh produce as a result of federal agricultural policy”. That statement is just sad. The average American family eats fast food four times a week. Not this family!!

I believe that healthy eating habits begin at home and I was thrilled when our nanny enthusiastically agreed to help me take the plunge into making baby food at home. To be fair, she did most of the work.

Once I was Desperately Seeking Baby Food/Feeding Advice and now I am all about homemade goodness! I am committed to making high quality, healthy, organic food for you and you seem to love it! Bonus. 🙂

The best is yet to be.

………………………………………………………………………….

*In his 20 years of reporting on food, Michael Pollan has picked up a number of rules to eat by. They’re now collected in an eater’s manual, Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual. His guidelines to good eating include:

1: Eat food .
2: Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.
7: Avoid food products containing ingredients that a third-grader cannot pronounce.
13: Eat only foods that will eventually rot.
39: Eat all the junk food you want as long as you cook it yourself.

“It’s not that hard to eat well if you’re willing to put a little more time into it, a little more thoughtfulness into it and, yes, a little bit more money,” Pollan says.

No Related Posts

The Most Important Job In The World

Posted on January 25, 2010 Written by Tonya

I have been reluctant to write about this, but it is time to come clean…

We have hired a nanny.

For the purposes of this blog, I will call her Angel, because in my eyes, that’s what she is to me. Angel helps me care for you for five hours a day, two days a week and she has been working with us for a month.

Whew, that wasn’t so hard.

Before you judge, (that’s my defensive, inner critic/guilty conscience speaking) I feel like a big fat loser/fraud/incompetent mother for having her. After all, I don’t work and since June my sole job has been to stay at home and raise you. I am proud of this role and have never been happier, but it’s the most challenging position I have ever held and I felt as if I was slowly losing myself before I admitted that I needed help. In short, I am a better mother because of Angel.

Ideally, stay at home moms choose to stay home (like I have) and in a perfect world, we’d all have smiles on our faces, never complain and enjoy every moment we are home with our little tike(s), but being a stay at home mom is a full-time, 24-hour a day job, even with a hands on partner, like your dad. I am the mommy and that role is very different; it’s everything. As Mommy, you are always “on”. You don’t get a lunch break, two week vacation, weekends off or sick days. Of course, there are exceptions and there are mom’s hiring nannies to care of their kid(s) because they just don’t want to, and that’s a whole different issue altogether.

Having a nanny for a few hours every week is an absolute luxury and one that I am lucky to be able to afford. I don’t believe I am a bad mother to care for myself or need a break, in fact, having Angel makes me better mentally and physically. I have been able to go to two doctor’s appointments, grocery shop, have a nice long (uninterrupted) lunch with a friend and go to the gym..three times!

I believe that motherhood is the most important job a woman will ever undertake in her lifetime. It is the one job that will give her satisfaction of mind, body, heart and soul. I also believe that no other person can raise my son with as much love as I can, but I am blessed to have these 10 hours a week to recharge.

The best is yet to be.

No Related Posts

Thoughts From The Massage Table

Related Posts:

Guilty As Charged

Related Posts:

Desperately Seeking Mary Poppins

Related Posts:

Saddest. Day. Ever.

Related Posts:

Ten Months

Related Posts:

Bon Appetit

Related Posts:

The Most Important Job In The World

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

What I Write About