weight

I heard Jenny McCarthy (former Playboy Playmate and MTV game show host turned activist) on The Today Show last week say that it took her a full year to get back into her pre-pregnancy jeans. Of course, she claims to have gained 60 pounds while pregnant to my 34, but I was so discouraged I wanted to cry!

After having given birth, I have a new found respect for my body and all of it’s capabilities. After all, it made a human! While pregnant, I felt physically stronger than ever and more beautiful the bigger I got. I knew my body was performing a miracle–it created, carried, protected and delivered a healthy baby into this world. Fast forward three months later and I am left missing my old body! I miss the size 6 pants and 29 low rise jeans that I use to wear before I was creating a new life. My parts and pieces feel and in some cases, look completely out of place and my post baby belly is so unflattering that I doubt I’ll ever be in a bikini again. How long does it take the linea nigra to fade anyway?

I believe that our society puts a lot of pressure on women to “bounce back” to their pre-pregnancy state, especially when we see celebrities like Jessica Alba and Heidi Klum rocking the red carpet so quickly after giving birth and looking slimmer and more glamorous than before they were pregnant. It’s not fair! No, I’m not delusional, I get it, I realize that looking fantastic is a part of their job and that they have personal chefs and trainers and nannies! The pressure I feel about my body is all my own and I know it’s unhealthy and more than a little ridiculous, considering it was just 13 weeks ago that I gave birth. Nevertheless, it’s there and it’s very real to me.

Nine pounds left to lose before I’m at my pre-pregnancy weight and with a little determination, a lot of diligence and saying no to dessert and beer, I know I’ll get there. I just hate being in this in between state where nothing fits! I’m proud of the fact that I’m back in my old bras (a small victory), even if I’m still wearing my maternity pants.

The best is yet to be.

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I wish I knew why you hated being in your car seat so much. You are fine sitting in it for a moment or two, but once you (quickly) realize what comes next, you start getting very agitated and that leads to a full blown melt down.

I can successfully get the straps around your arms, across your chest and up through your legs (could it be possibly be the confinement that you detest so much?) and can even move you into the car, but shortly there after you scream bloody murder for 10-15 minutes and one time 24 minutes! When you finally do surrender and gaze out at the world (freeway) going by, or into the mirror at your handsome self and go with it, you are so worn out that you often fall asleep. Up until this moment of sweet resignation, it is the most excruciating 10-15 minutes of our day.

Did you know that some babies sleep in their cribs in their car seats they love the restriction and safekeeping so much?

I have been trying to make the transition from the coziness of my arms to the sheer terror of the torture chamber to the vehicle a smooth one for us both, but apparently you’ve got my number and it’s never pretty.

Everyone assures me that as soon as you can face forward, you will love riding in the car. Unfortunately, we have nine months and seven pounds to go before we find out if they are right. In the meantime, I am going to keep trying to get you more comfortable with the device and if you haven’t already, get used to me telling you that “we need the car seat, you have to be belted in, we would be beside ourselves if anything ever happened to you and it’s how we get to go places!” because baby, we have lots of places to go!

By the way, the above photo was not taken while in the car, but the look of “oh no, don’t you dare move me” can still be detected.

I Miss My Old Body

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