Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Be Here

Posted on January 28, 2014 Written by Tonya

I study photographs of him and will them to come to life.

Just one more conversation.

Meet my son.

Put your hand on my belly and feel your granddaughter.

Share a beer and a laugh with your son-in-law. 

Be here.

My father would have been 67 today.

I can’t believe he (and my mother) have been gone almost seven years.

Does it ever really sink in?

Does the hurt ever stop?

MSA 1947-2007

Michael Stephen Adams 1947-2007

Baby girl is due tomorrow but could have been delivered today.

It was almost a guarantee.

For over a week she was breech and my OB was trying to talk me into having an ECV (External Cephalic Version), a procedure done at the hospital where she and a nurse manually (from the outside) try to flip the baby. My OB said the procedure is only successful half the time and the other half leads to labor, hence the reason it’s done at hospital. It can be very painful and must be done within the 37 and 38th weeks of pregnancy.

I opted not to have the procedure and instead sought help from a chiropractor trained in the Webster technique, involving assessing and correcting any misalignments in the pelvic and low back area helping to keep the ligaments and muscles, which support the uterus, relaxed. I also saw my acupuncturist and performed yoga type movements twice a day and used visualization to move her on my own.

Just to be safe, however, my OB wanted me to schedule a C-section. The VERY last way I wanted to deliver this baby (you can read about my birth plan here)!!

When discussing dates, she said the earliest she could do one would be January 28. I was taken aback to say the least. Knowing my due date is January 29, I always known that it was a possibility that my father and daughter could share a birthday, but I really wanted her to have her own special day. When my OB came up with the date solely based on surgery room availability and her own personal schedule and knowing nothing about the significance to my family, I thought it might be meant to be. My father was my hero and I miss him every day and what better way to pay homage to him than having his granddaughter on his birthday.

A week after making the appointment, baby girl flipped and has been head down ever since! I am equal parts relieved and melancholy. The day is still young, so anything can happen, but with the 7:45 AM C-section canceled, I can’t help but be curious to see if she will choose today to be here.

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Filed Under: acupuncture, grief, milestones, MSA, pregnancy2 Tagged With: acupuncture, grief, milestones, MSA, pregnancy2

Change Is (Mostly) Good

Posted on February 25, 2013 Written by Tonya

I can’t believe we have to move.

Even though I knew it was coming, it feels like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me.

My chest is cramping with stress and the lists running through my head are giving me the spins.

The last few days have been chaos amidst boxes and packing tape, furniture pads and piles.

So many piles.

We’ve decided whether to save, sell, donate or store countless items.

Another new address.

Temporary, but still.

Change.

I don’t like change.

Especially on top of all our regular everyday stresses…

Deadlines.

Appointments.

Trips to the grocery store.

Laundry.

Late nights.

Early mornings.

Errands.

Exercise.

Phone calls to make and return.

Full In Boxes.

Bills.

Lunches to prepare.

A chipped tooth and an emergency visit to the dentist.

Infertility treatments.

A dog with warts in his mouth (Ugh. Don’t ask!).

Birthday presents to purchase.

Swim lessons.

Responsibilities.

Life.

But, I don’t have any more going on in my life than you, in fact your To Do list probably looks a lot like mine. Sure the tasks may differ, but the intent behind the reminders is the same and I’m sure the strong desire to cross items off is too!

The older I get the more I realize change can be exciting and a move doesn’t have to be all that stressful. It’s a huge pain-in-the-ass, but I know it’ll all get done.

Plus, there’s a lot of really great stuff going on right now too. Lucas, for one is very excited about living in an apartment complex that has not one, but three pools! We are looking forward to a fun Spring and Summer and finding a house by Fall.

I’m not going to be posting here as much over the next few weeks, so bear with me. Having said that, my infertility column over at SheKnows is still of the utmost importance to me and you can find a new post there every Monday through May. Today’s offering is Acupuncture for infertility: On pins and needles. Please read and share! 

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Filed Under: acupuncture, challenges, change, life, list, move, SheKnows Tagged With: acupuncture, challenges, change, life, list, move, SheKnows

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