Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Why Sending Thank You Cards Is So Important

Posted on March 19, 2015 Written by Tonya

Lucas and I were in the car discussing our weekend plans. We had swim lessons, a soccer game and two birthday parties to look forward to.

Since starting kindergarten, he has been invited to 10 or more classmate’s birthday celebrations.

We started reviewing all the different fun parties he had attended this year and what the themes were. To five- and six-year-olds the theme and location are just as important as the flavor of cake and the guest list. I suppose that could be said for 40-somethings too.

All of a sudden and completely on his own Lucas recalled that of all the parties he has attended, he has only received two thank you cards.

Two.

Two acknowledgements.

Pitiful.

I’m not trying to throw anyone under the bus, I know parents get busy, it’s often a fight to get a child to sit down and physically do the work, but it’s necessary. It is a simple, kind gesture that shows appreciation and gratitude. Attributes our world is truly lacking.

Writing thank you notes is a skill that every child should learn as a part of their upbringing. I did. I hated every minute of it, but I’m instilling it in my children and nothing lights up a child’s face more than receiving mail!

Before Lucas could write, I’d have him color a picture to accompany a note I had written and then we graduated to scribbling his name at the bottom of a note I had written and now we talk though two-three sentences and he writes his own cards. It’s a painstaking process but he has a sense of pride and accomplishment once the task is completed.

I know that fill-in and pre-printed/personalized cards are available, but we use colored construction paper and crayons.

Perhaps a warm hug and genuine “thank you” in person is enough? I don’t think so, but don’t take my word for it….

My friend, Tracy of Sellabit Mum wrote a great post called How to Write a Thank You Note a few years ago that I highly recommend and another friend and family physician, Dr. Gilboa posted a YouTube video, Teach Kids How to Write a Thank You Note where in less than one minute she explains the three parts kids need to write a great thank you note, and why we should bother.

Do you have your children write/send thank you cards? Why or why not?

sendthankyoucards

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Filed Under: birthdays, conversations with Lucas, friends, gratitude, question, TDA bio, video Tagged With: birthdays, conversations with Lucas, Dr. G, friends, gratitude, question, Sellabit Mum, TDA bio, video

Laughter Is My Only Good Advice

Posted on April 24, 2012 Written by Tonya

They say laughter is the best medicine and when it comes to raising kids, there has never been a truer statement. Take is from Tracy, also known as Sellabit Mum.

I had the pleasure of meeting Tracy at BlogHer last year and she is simply lovely. We have always had a fun banter and this letter to her eldest daughter is down right perfect and I am thrilled to welcome her here today.

Dear Eldest Daughter,

I’m glad we’ve reached the point in our relationship that you can laugh at me and not just laugh with me and get my jokes (although – thank goodness, as developing a good sense of humor is truly important), because I want you to know that I am human and that I hurt and also make many mistakes. Also, my jokes are always funny. Write that down.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s hard being the oldest child. Your parents obsessing about getting it all right. Buying the right crib, painting the nursery just so, finding the perfect potty chair, feeding you the right foods, reading you only the best books, taking you to all of the right classes, getting you professionally photographed every damn month.  Not that I would admit to doing all of that but if I were to fess-up…pretty much we just wanted what was best..when honestly we had no idea what we were doing.

So then I wonder if it’s hard being the oldest child because you have little siblings watching your every move – the struggle for independence, the bedtimes pushed a little later, the trendy clothes, and the new fights with your parents.

At times it can be so overwhelming as a parent just knowing the immense responsibility we have raising kind, generous, contributing people that maybe we don’t stop the think that you carry some of that same weight.  You get to experience our failures first-hand like a strange science experiment of the parenting kind.

I apologize. Also, no you can’t stay-up until 10pm this weekend. BECAUSE I SAID SO.

All of the above is just to really say that I’m scared. Very scared. You’re turning 10 this year. The next few years ahead of you will be filled with wonder, hormones, laughter, tears and probably pretty crazy fights with your mother. There will be days that you just want to play on the playground with your sisters and days where you feel like you don’t have a friend in the world.

But we will get though it and you need to know that the other side of it will be beautiful. Truly.

So for now – before this all starts and I stumble and fall and likely have to apologize 100 times for my unpreparedness…please remember that it all just boils down to these very simple things:

1. You are loved

2. You are beautiful

3. You are kind

4. You are important

5. You are smart

6. You are strong

but mainly…

7. You are too good for that boy, so get in the house NOW young lady and finish your homework.

See, it’s the laughter that is going to get us through. God willing.

Love you,

Mom 

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Filed Under: discipline, guest post, Letters For You, motherhood, parenting Tagged With: discipline, guest post, Letters For You, motherhood, parenting, Sellabit Mum

Halloween

Posted on October 30, 2011 Written by Tonya

The best things about Halloween?

1. Candy corn. I know it’s available all year long, but I only buy it during the month of October. I’m the only one in my house that likes it and so far, I’m on bag #3.

2. Multiple visits to the pumpkin patch in search of the perfect pumpkin.

3. After the sun goes down, Lucas has been demanding requesting that we drive around our neighborhood to see all the Halloween decorations; twinkle lights, pumpkins, spiders, ghosts and one amazing pirate ship are his favorites.

4. Carmel apples, cake pops and other yummy treats friends are braver than I to try to make.

5. Holiday arts and crafts. 

6. Glow in the dark skeleton jammies.

7. Decorating pumpkins with pipe cleaners, stickers, glue and pomp pomps instead of knives.

8. Watching It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

9. Trick-or-treating and hoping for the good stuff.

10. Children dressed up as Super Man, princesses, Woody and sharks. Speaking of sharks, will you please check out the face on the shark below? I love having a child! Especially during the holidays.

Photobucket


This post was inspired by Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley! This week’s topic: Ten Things Halloween.

I’m also linking up with Jessica (Four Plus an Angel) and Tracy’s (Sellabit Mum) Boo! in the Blogosphere Halloween Photo Link Up.

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Filed Under: arts & crafts, blog hop, holidays, list, monday listicles, outing, photos Tagged With: arts and crafts, blog hop, Four Plus an Angel, halloween, list, monday listicles, outing, photos, Sellabit Mum

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