Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

  • Home
    • My Guest Posts
  • Letters For You

Memories Of Daddy

Posted on June 24, 2012 Written by Tonya

With Father’s Day just a week ago and mine and Lucas’ birthday this month, my dad has been on my mind a lot lately. There are so many big and little things that remind me of my dad, the time we spent together and what a great role model he was to me.

My dad and I had a very special bond and I was a Daddy’s Girl through and through. I miss our conversations, his genuine thirst for knowledge and his hugs most of all, but here’s what has been rising to the top of my memory bank and making me miss him a little more than usual (in no particular order):

1. Hearing my dad drop the F bomb the first time. It was directed at traffic and made me giggle like crazy.

2. A mortifying incident in which he yelled out the car window to a classmate of mine riding his bike after darting in front of us, “That’s the kind of thing that will get you killed.”. That was 18 years ago and recently my husband yelled the exact same thing as a biker crossed our path. I nearly peed in my pants.

3. My dad loved to dance, especially to 80’s music. Sadly, my dad was a terrible dancer, but you just had to admire his enthusiasm.

4. His roots. My father was born and raised in a very small town in Texas and while he grew to appreciate it, he did everything he could to leave that life far behind him. I wonder if he knew at 10 that someday he would work and live in Africa.

5. His loss. My dad lost his father when he was just six years old, his step-father when he was 21 and his mother at 32.

6. His steady grip and childlike humor as he walked me down the aisle. Twice.

7. Blue. His eyes were kind and the brightest shade of blue.

8. My father lived in Dockers and plaid button-down shirts, in varying degrees of blue, his favorite color. As a family, we lovingly referred to his shirts of choice as “Mike Adams” shirts because you could spot one a mile away.

9. His strong, capable rough hands. He was a nail biter and always wore both his wedding ring and his class ring (seen below).

10. His chicken scratch handwritten lists. He made lists for everything; things to do, movies to see, books he’d read, bills he paid, phone calls to make, etc., etc., etc. My love of lists comes directly from my father.

My dad on my wedding day – August 4, 2007.

Linking up with Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a meme right up my alley, because I LOVE lists! Thanks to Kim of The G is Silent for coming up with this week’s topic: celebrate your father with 10 happy memories. I could have gone on and on and on with this list.

Related Posts:

  • The Last Email
  • Six Handwritten Pages
  • This Is Motherhood

Filed Under: dads, gratitude, grief, happy thoughts, list, loss, love, memories, monday listicles, MSA Tagged With: dads, gratitude, grief, happy thoughts, list, loss, love, memories, monday listicles, MSA

When Daddy’s Away

Posted on August 21, 2011 Written by Tonya

“You’re the yin to my yang, the ping to my pong, the normal to my crazy. Let’s be us together.” – The Big C

When Daddy’s away, there will be:

  • phone calls on speaker phone and cute photos and videos sent.
  • more time spent in jammies.
  • pizza lunch dates, dessert after every meal and sitting at Lucas’ table for snacks.
  • fewer time-outs.
  • preschool drop-offs that require more than support than the front office coordinator is able to provide.
  • requests to sleep in”Mommy and Daddy’s bed”.
  • bedtimes that get dragged out past 9:00 and nightmares at 1 o’clock in the morning.
  • tempers that flare and patience lost.
  • too many glasses of wine consumed.
  • more appreciation felt than ever expressed. 

Lucas misses his daddy as much as I do. Only one more sleep until he’s home!

This post was inspired by Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley! This week’s topic: Yin Yang was chosen by Zook Book Nook.

Related Posts:

  • Collecting Seashells
  • A Love Letter
  • I’m *That* Mom

Filed Under: challenges, dads, marriage, monday listicles, parenthood, TBW Tagged With: challenges, dads, marriage, monday listicles, parenthood, TBW

Let’s Hear It For The Hands-On Dads!

Posted on October 5, 2010 Written by Tonya

I know men that say they don’t want to have anything to do with their newborn baby until he or she can walk and talk.

I know men that have never held a baby, changed a diaper or gotten up in the middle of the night to feed or console their own child.

I know men that believe raising children is solely the mother’s responsibility.

I am not big fans of these men and I feel sorry for their wives. We’re not living in 1950. You are not babysitting your own child, you are helping to raise them and are a co-parent!

I am beyond grateful that while Todd had never changed a diaper until he had his own child, he is the exact opposite of the men I described above. I was just away for two weekends in a row doing what I wanted to do and because it was important to me, it was important to him and he had no qualms about looking after Lucas on his own for essentially eight days. I’m one of the lucky ones!

In last week’s issue of Newsweek, the cover story is all about the *new* definition of what it is to be a man and a father today. It’s very interesting and very enlightening.

My friend and neighbor, Juli is a health food writer and owner of Kookie Karma. She also has a blog called Pure Mamas, where you can find useful tools on how to incorporate fresh local vegetables into your and your child’s diet. I loved her post today, Such Great Dads! Thank You! because it’s true, we don’t give the hands-on dads in our lives enough praise and because she featured Lucas’ dad in her photo collage. 🙂 Check it out!

post signature

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: blog, controversial topics, dads, friends, TBW

Down Under

Posted on May 5, 2010 Written by Tonya

“Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.” – John Howard Payne

I’m back! It’s good to be home. I missed my little blog, but thoroughly enjoyed being unplugged for a while. Now, with my head swimming in posting ideas and new thoughts on motherhood to share, I’m anxious to get back to it….

First and foremost, we had a terrific trip! The flights to and from were torturous and very hard on us all, but we did it and are better for it.

I can’t believe that I can now say that I been to six continents or even more impressive that, that my son has been to three!

Sydney is a beautiful hustling bustling multi-cultural city with tons of things to see and do and we made the most of our four days there by exploring The Rocks, the great neighborhood where our hotel was located, walking over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, visiting the famed Opera House and the Taronga Zoo.

In between our bookend stays in Sydney, Lucas and I spent a wonderful week with my friend Sophie and her family in Noumea, New Caledonia and got to experience life on an island. It was so good for my soul to see my friend again and I loved finally meeting her beautiful daughters, Emma (who turned six while we were there) and Noemi (3). They were very sweet to Lucas and he fell in love with them instantly too.

I am especially grateful to Sophie’s husband Luc, who took the entire week off work while I was there to help out with their girls and their daily routine and even looked after Lucas so that Sophie and I could spend some time alone together. I love how even after not seeing each other for 10 years, we picked up right where we left off. That has to be the mark of a true friendship.

As I said in my Facebook status on April 25: One 15 hour flight, one trip to the ER, one lost cell phone and unbelievable humidity = the price you pay to see your best friend again! Having a wonderful time in New Caledonia.

I can never thank Sophie and Luc enough for everything they did to make us feel comfortable and welcome and I don’t know what I would have done without their help. Shortly after we arrived (literally minutes after we walked off the plane), we headed to the ER where Lucas was diagnosed with gastroenteritis. This led to multiple trips to the pharmacy, calls to their family’s pediatrician and a later diagnosis of an ear infection and sore throat.

Agh! I now know what a mother’s worst fear is while traveling and it’s not that you’ll run out of diapers on a 15 hour flight, it’s that your baby will get sick on an island where you don’t speak the language!

He seems to be 100% now, although he is still pulling on his ear, so we are going see our pediatrician tomorrow (I mean, later).

Maybe he was just missing his daddy, who was in Tasmania participating in the annual Targa Tasmania, a tarmac rally with competitive stages on closed roads. I will have to get Lucas’ dad to share his experience in the form of a guest post, because I couldn’t do it justice. I suppose the pictures might speak for themselves. Luckily no one was seriously hurt!!

It was the longest we have all been a part from one another and what made it more difficult was the lack of communication. We can normally text one another, but not without a phone (which I believe is in the Sydney airport somewhere…Grrr!).

Jet lag is starting to kick in… photo highlights will have to wait until tomorrow (I mean, later).

Related Posts:

  • In A Nutshell
  • BlogHer 2014
  • This Time It’s Personal

Filed Under: blog, cars, dads, friends, quotes, sophie, TBW, travel Tagged With: blog, cars, dads, friends, quote, sophie, TBW. travel

Moms Need Breaks

Posted on August 31, 2009 Written by Tonya

It infuriates me when I hear my fellow mommy friends practically begging their husbands, also known as the father of their children, to watch their kids. What is wrong with these dads? Are they afraid of a little parenting? It’s a baby…their baby, and while yes, frustrating at times, they have pretty simple needs….clean diapers, an occasional bottle, a good burp and some good old fashioned interaction. Infants need to spend one-on-one time their fathers and more importantly, moms need breaks!!

The women that enable this behavior from the men in their lives irk me just as badly. When I hear these couples arguing, I know how fortunate I am that I get the baby-free time I need. In fact, your dad encourages me to get out and spend time with my friends and do things that are just for me. He knows how much time, energy and patience is involved in spending 12 solid hours with you. It’s not like I don’t love it, but being able to jump on the treadmill for an hour, get my nails down, or just walk around a book store without a diaper bag draped over my shoulder means everything to me. A little time a part is very refreshing and very necessary. Brace yourself, I even had a sleep over when you were just six weeks old! It was a guilt-ridden 24 hours for me, but oh so good for my psyche and provided great bonding time for the two of you and the encouragement that I believe made him feel that he could do it on his own.

Being a new parent and the primary care giver to a newborn is exhausting. I always feel like I have to be “on” when I’m with you…caring for you, comforting you, stimulating you and getting ready for your next feeding, not to mention stocking and restocking supplies and all of the other daily household chores that have to be done. I miss you like crazy when I’m not with you but I know that the time a part only makes me a better Mommy when I get home.

The best is yet to be.

Related Posts:

  • She’s Here!
  • Connection
  • About Last Night

Filed Under: annoyances, dads, me time, TBW Tagged With: annoyances, dads, me time, TBW

Subscribe TwitterFacebook Email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

My Parents

Photobucket

I was a Listen To Your Mother Cast Member! Click on image to view my reading:

I was a Listen To Your Mother Cast Member! Click on image to view my reading:

Proud to have my writing featured here:

Proud to have my writing featured here:
Blog Archive

What I’m Pinning

Letters For Lucas
BlogWithIntegrity.com

What I Write About

a mother's guilt annoyances aunt leah birthdays blog books challenges conversations with Lucas DMB exercise family friends grandparents gratitude grief guest post holidays KRA Letters For You list loss love mama kat's writer's workshop memories me time milestones motherhood MSA NaBloPoMo parenthood parenting photos praise pregnancy2 question quotes SAHM school siblings simple joys TBW TDA bio travel update writing

Creative Kristi Designs

Copyright © 2009- 2025 · Letters For Lucas · Design By Creative Kristi Designs