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Two Years Old

Posted on August 27, 2011 Written by Tonya

Letters For Lucas is two years old today!

I can’t believe I’ve been at this for two years.

There have been two redesigns, 682 posts, 12 guest posts, two blog conferences, many communities joined, countless photos shared, lots of self promoting tweets, tons of supportive retweets and some of the greatest friends made.

Over the past two years, I’m proud of how my voice has shone through in my writing and my writing has helped me explore my emotions regarding being a mother, sister, parentless parent and softie at heart.

I love my little space on the Internet. I love my readers and all the connections I have made through blogging, but the real reason I do this, aside from maintaining my sanity, is this precious little boy:

Lucas is the inspiration for every single post I write and I hope someday he enjoys reading Letters For Lucas as much as I enjoy writing it. I hope my words give him greater insight to all of his mother’s complexities and offer us hours of conversation.Here’s to another two years and beyond!

A very special thank you to Morgan for these lovely photos of Lucas. She captured him to a tee; all of his sweet, mischievous, wonderful, curious, M&M and dirt loving magic. Thank you!

How To Be The Best Blogger In The World

Posted on August 20, 2011 Written by Tonya

I’ve been blogging for almost two years and in that time I’ve learned a couple of things about how to be a good blogger.

There is a method to this madness, an unspoken etiquette that bloggers follow and some very important dos and don’ts.

For those of you feeling super ambitious, follow these tips and you may be crowned: The Best Blogger in the World! Please try to refrain from eye rolling until the end.

1. Write an informative, insightful, witty, fantastic post every. single. day., complete with links to others and professional photographs to illustrate your points.

2. Publish your fantastic post at midnight on the dot, if you live on the east coast and 9:00 PM, if you live on the west coast.

3. Promote your fantastic post on Twitter (multiple times throughout the day), Facebook, (which includes your blog fan page, your personal Facebook page, the Studio+ 30 and 5 Minutes for Mom pages and any other Facebook pages that will allow you to, Stumble your fantastic post and add a teaser to BlogFrog (or other favorite community site) and join multiple memes/linkies and/or blog hops that apply, even if it’s stretch. It’s called multi-tasking, people. Oh, and driving traffic to your site.

4. Reply to each and every comment your fantastic post receives. Bonus points if you do this within minutes of receiving the comment.

5. Follow every single person that follows you, whether it be on your blog or Twitter and engage. Hourly. Read their posts, comment on them and promote them.

Ugh.

Clearly, I’m kidding! There is NO WAY in hell anyone could do all this. Even with an extra 24 hours in their day. Though the “blogger guidelines” are unspoken, it sometimes feels like you have to be in people’s faces all the time just to keep up. It gets to be too much sometimes, doesn’t it? It does for me.

Truly, my only advice is this: write from the heart, be true to who you are and do your best to encourage, support and learn from others.

That’s it. Simple, right?

Blogging shouldn’t feel like a chore. It shouldn’t cause you angst or pressure of any kind and the minute it’s not fun anymore, you should take a step back and reevaluate why you do it in the first place. Why do you blog? I hope it’s not to be the best blogger in the world.

By the way, I did post this on the Facebook pages mentioned above and will Tweet it in hopes of RTs all day. I will try my best to respond to all of you IF you comment, I’m sorry if I don’t already follow you and I would have included a photo but I couldn’t get my son to cooperate. No, he’s not relevant to the subject matter, but he sure is cute. 🙂

Ty Alexander Salon

Posted on July 8, 2011 Written by Tonya

A few months ago I mentioned an opportunity that came up while I was on a routine visit to my hair salon.

I have created a blog for Ty Alexander Salon I am proud to announce that it is now LIVE!

Ty Alexander Salon just celebrated their one year anniversary and they finally have an online presence.

I have followed my colorist, Laura and stylist, Stephany around from salon to salon over the years and I am thrilled that Stephany and her husband, Ty finally opened their own place!

I’m also thrilled that they asked me to help them with their blog. It has been a great experience working with a client again and writing about something other than my two year old.

Please check out the Ty Alexander Salon, share your feedback and if you are in the Southern California/Orange County area, book an appointment.

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There’s More To Me Than My Blog

Posted on July 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

I talked to a friend recently with whom I hadn’t spoken to in a while and mid-conversation, when we had reached the part when I was all up to date on the current events of her life and it was time for her to ask about me, she said, “I already know everything that’s going on with you, I read your blog.”.“Oh.” And with that, the call was pretty much over.

Here’s what I should have said:

“Um, no you don’t and why would you think that anyway?”

This is not the first time I’ve heard this.

And this is not the first time the comment has irked me hurt my feelings.

I’ll be the first to admit that I share a lot here, but I don’t blog about everything!

Some things are meant to be private. And I’ve learned that the hard way a couple of times.

There are lots of topics that I refuse to discuss here. I will never share details of my marriage, my sex life, my struggle to have a second child, my relationship with my sister (again), my ex-husband (again) or basically anything else that could potentially hurt a relationship that is important to me or be used against me in a court of law.

I’m a social networking butterfly and communicate regularly with a lot of people via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram, Skype, instant messages through Scrabble and Words With Friends, texts, the rare phone call and if I’m really lucky, in person. Every once in a while it would be nice if the people I knew in real life would ask me about me instead of assuming they’ve read it all on my blog.

Just saying.

If you’re a blogger, does this ever happen to you?

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Posted on May 13, 2011 Written by Tonya

First it was MySpace, then Facebook, followed by Twitter and now, my new latest obsession is ~ drum roll, please…. Pinterest.

What is Pinterest you ask?

Think of Pinterest as a virtual pinboard — a place where you can create collections of things you love and “follow” collections created by people with great taste.

People use Pinterest to collect and share all sorts of things — wedding inspiration, favorite T-shirts, DJ equipment. You name it, people are pinning it.

We know you have great taste in something. Our mission is to make Pinterest the best place for you to share your taste with the world.

Over the last week I have spent HOURS on this site pinning favorites faces, places, products, pretty things, quotes, gift ideas, and items on my lust after list.

Things like:

Anything goes and the best part is that every image links back to original source/site for more information.

What an awesome idea and a HUGE wonderful waste of time. If you pin, come find me!

Goodwill Among Moms

Posted on March 14, 2011 Written by Tonya

It was either Facebook or Twitter where I first learned about The Mom Pledge. Either way, I am all about it and I hope you will be too.

Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had and I need all the support I can get and I don’t care where it comes from, as long as it’s honest. Let’s whine, complain, cry on each other’s shoulders, offer advice and then tell one another to put on our big girl pants and get over it.

For the most part I have had nothing but positive interactions, made meaningful connections with other moms and truly value the relationships I’m building through Letters For Lucas and other social media outlets.

I have been the victim of negative anonymous comments on my blog and it was very disheartening.

It’s easy to let our words get the best of us, but life is too short to try and keep up with the Joneses, put each other down or hide behind our computer screens.

The Mom Pledge is about bloggers standing up, speaking out, and coming together to eradicate online bullying of moms by other moms. The time has come for us to take the power back and own this issue.

The Mom Pledge

I am a proud Mommy Blogger. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my blogging activities. I can lead by example.

I pledge to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, “right” way to be a good Mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.

I believe a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome differing opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.

I stand up against online bullying. My blog is my space. I will not tolerate comments that are rude, condescending or disrespectful.

I refuse to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks from my blog with no mention or response. I can take control.

I want to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.

I affirm that we are a community. As a member, I will strive to foster goodwill among moms. Together, we can make a difference.

I have committed to the principles of The Mom Pledge because I believe that it is important to be supportive and respectful to each other. If you do too, please visit: http://www.efloraross.com/

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Life Can Change In An Instant

Posted on March 11, 2011 Written by Tonya

For more than two minutes Friday, the most powerful earthquake ever recorded in Japan shook apart homes and buildings, cracked open highways and made skyscrapers sway.

Then came a devastating tsunami that slammed into northeastern Japan and killed hundreds of people.

The 8.9 magnitude offshore earthquake struck at 2:46 PM local time and is the biggest to hit Japan since record-keeping began in the late 1800s.

It ranks as the fifth-largest earthquake in the world since 1900.

The images on television and the Internet are devastating and heartbreaking and show the very worst side of Mother Nature.

Today, my thoughts go out to everyone affected by this terrible disaster.

If you are feeling generous and would like to help the earthquake and tsunami victims, please visit this list of charities or do what I did and text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 contribution.

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This Thing Has Got To Go!

Posted on February 24, 2011 Written by Tonya

My iPhone and I have a love/hate relationship and I think we need a little time a part. To put it mildly, our relationship has gotten out of hand. One of us is obsessed and the other could care less.

The iPhone: a hundred different habit forming items all in one sleek package.

What would you give for a device that was designed to keep you connected, entertained, informed and make you completely crazy?

Let me explain…

I love being able to look up anything and everything that pops in my head on the Internet; I can self-diagnose a nonexistent medical condition, figure out the name of that guy in that movie, or the title of the song that I can’t stop humming and drool over the J. Crew spring line.

I hate to use it for phone calls, but love to text.

I love that I can keep track of important dates, play Scrabble, update my Facebook status and use the built-in GPS to find my way.

I hate that it distracts me from my son, but love that I can capture daily photos of him with it.

I hate that it is the ultimate time waster and my #1 reason for not reading more, but love having it while waiting for a friend to show up for a lunch date, stuck in a long line or at my doctor’s office.

I hate being so accessible, but love that my babysitter always picks up and is quick to respond.

I love that it can hold my entire music collection and a special play list just for Lucas.

I hate that the battery life is so short. My house has five power cords and I can never find one!

I love being able to check the weather, tag a song on the radio and shake in to find the closest eatery.

I hate that the damn thing was so expensive that I treat it as a second child, even with a hard case and screen protector.

I love Tweeting long after my husband has gone to sleep and making lists of blog ideas I have at 3 in the morning.

I hate that it won’t let me use my potty mouth in texts or Tweets without auto correcting me… hell becomes he’ll, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!

Yes, the iPhone can be and do so many wonderful/evil things.

Okay, I am ready to take bids!

What would you give?

C’mon, you know you want one!

These things really are amazing.

Actually, looking back over my list, I do believe my loves outweigh my hates…

On second thought, I think I’ll keep it.

Grr. That damn thing, it always knows how to push my buttons.

This post is for The Red Dress Club’s writing meme, Red Writing Hood. This week’s prompt was to write a humorous ad, a la Craigslist or eBay, where you’re selling things after a breakup.

This is my 500th post!

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The Ultimate Time Sucker

Posted on February 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

I told myself I wasn’t going to do this again.

I don’t need to get one. more. thing. done.

I don’t need to get sucked in any further.

I’ve spent enough time with technology today and the Internet will be here tomorrow.

What I need to do is rest.

I’ve had a headache all day and I told myself that I would crawl into bed as soon as Lucas was asleep. Todd is out with friends and I just started a terrific book, One Amazing Thing by Chitra Divakaruni. I was really looking forward to reading some of it tonight as I drifted peacefully off to sleep for a full eight to nine hours.

That was almost five hours ago.

Instead…

I am visiting blogs, commenting on them, brainstorming posts of my own, Tweeting, responding to e-mails, sending texts, updating my Netflix queue and Goodreads bookshelves, playing Scrabble with three different people, catching up with friends on Facebook, posting photos to Shutterfly, making play dates for next week, researching, Stumbling articles and chastising myself for letting another day go by without doing laundry.

All the while, the battery life on my lap top dwindles. It started in the black at 100% and is now in the red at 18%. That’s just embarrassing.

Please tell me I’m not the only one that does this!!

The Internet, I’ve decided is evil. It’s the ultimate time sucker, pure and simple. One simple search leads to five hours of poking around and digging further and before I know it, I have nine tabs open and wonder how did I get here?!

I’m obsessed, that’s how.

The better question is why?

Well, I am done with it. I’m stepping away from the computer. For tonight at least.

Lucas will be up and have his ‘take me to Disneyland’ face on in six hours, IF I’m lucky. Hmph, so much for nine hours of blissful sleep.

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