Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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I’m Still In Shock

Posted on February 2, 2012 Written by Tonya

I am certain I earned my mom wings yesterday.

I didn’t freak out.

I didn’t yell.

I was shocked.

I was confused.

I may have cried a little, but otherwise I think I handled the situation very well.

I didn’t think we were above it, I have heard awful stories, but I also didn’t think it would ever happen to us.

My son can’t even take off his own pants yet…

I did not expect to find what I did when I approached his room and heard cheerful singing after his nap.

Upon entering, he greets me with “we need to get a new wall”.

I thought about taking photos and then I thought better.

Poop.

It was everywhere…

Caked all over the wall above his bed, all over him, his sheets, his pillow, his clothes, his lovey, his hair, his books. Under his finger nails, smeared into the nightstand and his favorite stuffed kitty.

It was disgusting and I was mortified.

I didn’t know what to clean up first.

I stripped the bed, stripped him, marched to the kitchen for the 409, started a load of laundry and drew a bath. It was as though it never even happened. And then I had a margarita. Or three.

Our new house mantra? Don’t ever, ever touch poo poo!

Ever.

 

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Filed Under: mess, parenthood, photos Tagged With: mess, parenthood, photos

Mornings

Posted on November 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

8 AM again and my feet won’t stop from the moment they hit the ground.

There are hugs and kisses and cuddles in between picking up, putting away and preparing for day ahead.

Noise, chaos and laughter swirl around our kitchen and I realize I wouldn’t want it any other way.

More kisses as Daddy leaves for work.

Breakfast is served, lunch box is packed, we are dressed and out the door, but not before one last struggle to put on shoes.

As I drive home alone, I pray his teachers are patient with him, his classmates are kind and he uses his manners.

I count down the hours until I can see my buddy again.

I am a mother.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 3.) Write a post that is eight lines long. (inspired by Mommy Nani Boo Boo).

This post is was also written for Write on Edge’s writing meme, Red Writing Hood. This week’s prompt: Take me to your version of 8:00 – AM or PM, fiction or creative nonfiction- in 200 words or less. Constructive criticism is welcome.

 

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Filed Under: family, life, mama kat's writer's workshop, mess, motherhood, red writing hood, school Tagged With: family, life, mama kat's writer's workshop, mess, motherhood, red writing hood, school

Running Amok

Posted on February 23, 2011 Written by Tonya

When it comes to my home, I run a pretty tight ship and everything has it’s place; from my kitchen pantry and linen closet to my laundry room and everything in between. I like color coordinating and alphabetization. I thrive on cleanliness and organization. I am anal about order, putting stuff away, not leaving dishes in the sink, making the bed as soon as the last person gets up and there is no eating in my car, ever! I have a lot of stuff, but everything has a home.

Yes, all of this with a toddler.

Lucas has his own play area in our home in a room that is off from our kitchen. This is the ONE and only room of the house that I TRY to wait until the end of the day to pick up because it is his space, the place where we spend the most time together and I want him to be comfortable here and be able to make a mess and not worry about it.

Okay, when he is napping I do put everything back for Round 2.

I’m trying to teach him to “clean up” after he’s finished with one activity before moving on to the next. Let’s just say, we have a long road ahead of us…

Neither of us feel well today, so in between waiting for the bleepity bleep washing machine repair man to arrive (don’t you just love four hour windows?), watching WAY too much television and a pediatrician’s appointment, I sort of let Lucas run amok.

NOTE TO SELF #1: Disaster is bound to happen when you allow a toddler run amok.

First there was this, the mess in his bedroom, where I found dozens of puzzle pieces, books and stuffed animals strewn about and dresser drawers opened. I didn’t even know he could open them!

While I was cleaning up his bedroom, another mess was being created in a different part of the house:

Not quite the crime scene that Mommy of a Monster’s twins left her, but shocking to walk in on, nevertheless.

I’m just thankful that all pens still and their caps on. Apparently, he was after the car and/or the snack cup.

The best part is the “I didn’t do anything” look on his face.

By the way, yes, I do carry three packages of Kleenex. What’s it to ya?

Clearly, my purse isn’t quite as put together as my home.

NOTE TO SELF #2: NEVER leave purse on dining room table again!

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 2.) What did they get into now? Describe a time your toddler got into something they shouldn’t have.

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Filed Under: health, home, mama kat's writer's workshop, mess, TV

A Place To Call Her Own

Posted on June 4, 2010 Written by Tonya

It’s official! Every single room in our house has baby stuff in it… Whether it is an entire diaper changing station, mounds of toys, an exersaucer, high chair, pile of blankets, you name it, it’s in there.

With family coming to visit this weekend for someone’s very special one year birthday party, reigning in the clutter has been a top priority around here, but if your home is anything like ours, one project always leads to three more and nothing really gets done.

Sure, we hung a couple of photos, made sure that there were clean sheets on the guest bed and straightened up a little, but home ownership + parenthood = projects. It’s in the handbook and it’s never ending. We’re always trying to clear out old stuff only to make room for new stuff and now there’s all this baby stuff to boot. It’s a vicious cycle, but I’m starting to repeat myself (My Stuff Has Stuff).

Amidst the attempt to organize, I have realized that I would like a space of my own. Just a quiet corner where I can sit and think (and blog!!).

Now, I know if my husband is reading this and he does occasionally, he is thinking, “what the hell is she thinking? Half of the stuff we have is hers and the other half, the baby’s!” And while he may be right, lust after these desks with me for a moment:

Brighton White Vanity/Desk – Crate and Barrel

Bedford Corner Desk Set – Pottery Barn

Bedford Small Desk Set – Pottery Barn

Eames molded plastic side chair/Moda desk and desk organizer – Room & Board

A mommy can dream, can’t she?

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone and may we all have a little space we can call our own.

The best is yet to be.

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Filed Under: me time, mess

Got Milk?

Posted on November 9, 2009 Written by Tonya

I have always enjoyed drinking a nice tall glass of ice cold milk, but lately I feel like my life has been consumed by the stuff! I spend an inordinate amount of my day dealing with milk or more appropriately, formula. Formula is nasty! It is sticky, stinky and gross, but boy, does my baby love it.

Several times a day, I scoop powder out of a purple canister that has become a permanent fixture on our kitchen counter to make bottles of milk. I make three eight oz. bottles at a time, chill them and then feed them to you almost every three and a half to four hours. While feeding, I dab milk off your chin and try to catch it before it rolls into the tiny cracks and crevasses of your neck. Talk about stinky and gross. I wipe milk residue off my shoulders, sleeves, toes (!), couch and even floor. It’s true what they say about not having anything nice anymore once you have a child….spit up, drool and your basic baby muck get everywhere! I shutter at the thought of the Cheerios stage and nearly break out in hives thinking about chicken tenders, bananas, and macaroni and cheese ground up into our carpets. I know it’ll happen sooner rather than later.

I also spend an obscene amount of time washing bottles in scalding hot water. So much so that I can’t even wear my wedding or engagement rings because my ring finger is so irritated by all the water.

Does having teeth now mean I have to start feeding my baby real food? I’m clearly over the milk stage, but not quite ready to start solids. I honestly don’t think I can handle the mess yet.

The best is yet to be? Hmmm…as long as I’ve got my Dyson and a can of carpet and upholstery cleaner on hand.

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Filed Under: kid food, mess

More On Stuff

Posted on October 24, 2009 Written by Tonya

I love comedian George Carlin, who we unfortunately lost last year to heart failure. After my post yesterday, I remembered he had a hilarious routine around the concept of “stuff”.

Check it out on You Tube.

Carlin’s belief was that we all have a large supply of stuff, possibly too much stuff, but we insist on storing it in smaller and smaller containers of stuff. When our closets become full of too much stuff, we move some of it to drawers. If we need stuff for vacation, we put some of our original stuff in suitcases. We even buy smaller versions of stuff just to have on hand when we leave our big stuff behind on a trip and on and on it goes….

The best is yet to be minus some of the stuff.

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Filed Under: mess, stuff, video

My Stuff Has Stuff

Posted on October 23, 2009 Written by Tonya

I wouldn’t call myself a pack rat necessarily, in fact I hate clutter. Our house is always tidy, but I do have a desk I can barely see the surface of because it is covered with piles of paperwork and our garage has way too many plastic storage containers of God knows what. The bottom line is I have too much stuff!

I keep movie, concert and sporting event ticket stubs, thank you cards, wedding invitations, restaurant business cards and other little mementos. I used to put these things lovingly into scrap books, but then I had big bulky scrap books and no where to store them. Plus, they were a pain-in-the-neck to move. Now, these are keepsakes are stuffed in a drawer. I started collecting Christmas decorations back in high school and I haven’t even put up a tree in over five years. That will change, now that I have a child, but you and I both know I don’t need that much holiday cheer. I have more tank tops, pajamas and pairs of jeans than I will ever wear and more books than I will ever read, but I just keep buying more because I love them.

Now that I have a baby, I have baby stuff and lots of it. My latest stuff dilemma is whether I should get rid of the clothes you have outgrown already or keep them in a – you guessed it, plastic storage bin for our next child? And what if I keep them all and we have a girl? Will be be so lucky to have a third and there’s a 50% chance that she’ll be a girl too.

I have so much stuff that my stuff has stuff! I have always known this, but it became a lot more clear when my parents died and my sister and I had to go through not one, but two of their homes full of their stuff. Initially, it was difficult to decide what to do with all of their belongings. We wanted to make sure that everything was carefully sorted through and that the items neither of us wanted were donated to the appropriate places. During this process, which we are still in the middle of, I realized that their stuff…books, photos, dishes, clothes, wall hangings, school supplies, nick knacks, etc. was just that…stuff and it didn’t define them. It wasn’t who they were, it wasn’t what I would remember or carry in my hearts now that they were gone. After having this epiphany, it made it easier to let go of the inanimate objects and in most cases downright junk! After all, how many water bottles, beach towels, or hammers does one household need anyway?

I know I’m not alone, I think most people in America have too much stuff. We are painfully addicted to buying new stuff and with each new purchase we consume more non-renewable resources, pollute the planet, and create lots of garbage. Why?

Over the years, stuff has gotten a lot cheaper, but our attitudes toward it haven’t changed correspondingly. We overvalue stuff.

The worst kind of stuff is the stuff we own that we consider “too good” to use…our fine china, overpriced perfume, expensive pearls, good linens, Tiffany wine glasses, all the stuff we save for when family comes to visit or special occasions. What are we saving it for? It’s just sitting there collecting dust and it’s all replaceable if broken.

The better question is, how did this affair we all have with stuff get started?

Orion magazine’s excellent article by Jeffrey Kaplan, titled, The Gospel of Consumption, sheds some light on the problem’s history. In the late 1920s, after the war, America had excess manufacturing capacity. We began to invent needs rather than fulfill them. Kaplan writes:

“In a 1927 interview with the magazine Nation’s Business, Secretary of Labor James J. Davis provided some numbers to illustrate a problem that the New York Times called “need saturation.” Davis noted that ‘the textile mills of this country can produce all the cloth needed in six months’ operation each year’ and that 14 percent of the American shoe factories could produce a year’s supply of footwear. The magazine went on to suggest, ‘It may be that the world’s needs ultimately will be produced by three days’ work a week.’

“President Herbert Hoover’s 1929 Committee on Recent Economic Changes observed in glowing terms the results: “By advertising and other promotional devices…a measurable pull on production has been created which releases capital otherwise tied up.” They celebrated the conceptual breakthrough: “Economically we have a boundless field before us; that there are new wants which will make way endlessly for newer wants, as fast as they are satisfied.”

“Our modern predicament is a case in point. By 2005 per capita household spending (in inflation-adjusted dollars) was twelve times what it had been in 1929, while per capita spending for durable goods — the big stuff such as cars and appliances — was thirty-two times higher. And according to reports by the Federal Reserve Bank in 2004 and 2005, over 40 percent of American families spend more than they earn. The average household carries $18,654 in debt, not including home-mortgage debt, and the ratio of household debt to income is at record levels, having roughly doubled over the last two decades. We are quite literally working ourselves into a frenzy just so we can consume all that our machines can produce.”

We know our unsustainable rate of consumption impoverishes the planet; it also does the same to our souls. All the “stuff” we lust after does not tend to make us happier.

“We have impoverished our human communities with a form of materialism that leaves us in relative isolation from family, friends, and neighbors. We simply don’t have time for them. Unlike our great-grandparents who passed the time, we spend it. An outside observer might conclude that we are in the grip of some strange curse, like a modern-day King Midas whose touch turns everything into a product built around a microchip.”

Kaplan reminds us that time is also a non-renewable resource. Perhaps, by conserving time, we’d have time enough to realize what makes us truly happy.

Read the full story in Orion magazine by clicking here.

Call it keeping up with the Joneses, an insatiable need to have the next big thing, the latest and greatest, or simply trying to fill a void, too much stuff, is too much. I believe that it’s the people we surround ourselves with, the meaningful conversations we have them, the places we travel to, our life accomplishments and the books we read that are the elements that make us happy, not all the stuff. I don’t know about you, but it’s time for me to purge.

The best is yet to be.

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Filed Under: mess, stuff

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