Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

  • Home
    • My Guest Posts
  • Letters For You

On Disappearing & A Review Of “The Age Of Adaline”

Posted on April 29, 2015 Written by Tonya

Nowadays with Netflix and Amazon instant video, movies going to DVD within months of their release on the big screen, RedBox rentals, On Demand, AppleTV and the 500 channels cable companies provide, there really is no reason to see a movie in the theater anymore.

But, in the theater is my favorite way to enjoy a movie.

Growing up, going to see a movie was a family pastime and with two small children, something I seldom do anymore. My husband hates going to the theater and it’s rare, but I can drag him to see something or if there is something I am dying to see, I’ll go alone.

And so today, I blew off cardio barre and a ton of errands and disappeared into the dark for just under two hours.

I took myself to see The Age of Adaline.

I loved every moment.

Both the disappearing and the film.

I knew I would.

One of my favorite books ever is The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger and I liked the movie too. Time travel is fascinating as is defying age and beating mortality.

Like with The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Age of Adaline asks the viewer to suspend all belief in things that cannot be explained scientifically and let the movie take you to an extraordinary place.

You have to believe that miracles can happen.

Adaline, played by the stunning Blake Lively does a remarkable job. Her voice and her mannerisms are flawless much like her appearance as Adaline Bowman.

After having been in a car accident, a series of unlikely events occur at the same time and Adaline ceases to age, forever remaining 25.

Adaline’s story is fluid and original and also very sad. Adaline is close to very few people and picks up her life every decade or so to move to a new town and assume a new identity. She lives this way for 60 years and then an encounter with someone she used to know forces her to come clean and let go.

The movie was also visually beautiful with San Francisco as the background and the gorgeous and elegant costumes made for perfect eye candy.

I know how difficult it is to get away, but if you need a wonderful escape, I highly recommend this lovely and thought provoking film. If you do happen to see, please let me know your thoughts.

For photo credit, click on image

For photo credit, click on image.

From IMDb: After miraculously remaining 29 years old for almost eight decades, Adaline Bowman has lived a solitary existence, never allowing herself to get close to anyone who might reveal her secret. But a chance encounter with charismatic philanthropist Ellis Jones reignites her passion for life and romance. When a weekend with his parents threatens to uncover the truth, Adaline makes a decision that will change her life forever.

Related Posts:

  • Summer So Far
  • This House Needs A Mouse: A Book Review
  • An Inherited Love

Filed Under: aging, books, family, me time, movie review, movies, pastime Tagged With: aging, books, family, me time, movie review, movies, pastime

Rabbit Hole

Posted on January 24, 2011 Written by Tonya

Todd and I saw Rabbit Hole a couple of weeks ago staring Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart and I’m still thinking about it. To me, that’s what good movies do; make you think and stay you for days to follow.

I thought the performances were very good, but I disagree with all the buzz Kidman is getting for her role as a grieving mother. Of course, I didn’t think Annette Bening deserved the Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy for The Kids Are All Right either, so what do I know?

At any rate, Rabbit Hole allows us a glimpse into one couples lives as they deal with the loss of their four year old son, who runs into the street after the family dog and is hit by a car.

The couple is grieving in their own way and at their own pace and it almost destroys their marriage.

Horrific to think about, but always up for a good mental exercise, Rabbit Hole prompted some interesting and insightful discussion for our car ride home, another sign of a good movie.

Could our marriage survive the loss of a child? Hard to say. We agreed that it would require the utmost patience and understanding that either of us could muster and that it would most definitely be the hardest thing that we would ever have to go through. A parent should never have to bury a child. Every time you looked at one another you would have a living reminder. It’s a difficult scenario to imagine.

But that’s not the part that has stuck with me.

There is moment when Becca (Kidman) finally lets go of some of her pent up emotional control, breaks down and asks her mother, Nat (played brilliantly by Dianne Weist), who has also suffered the loss of a child, about her pain and the weight of it. The dialogue is breathtaking and the message is haunting:

Becca: Does it ever go away?

Nat: No, I don’t think it does. Not for me, it hasn’t – has gone on for eleven years. But it changes though.

Becca: How?

Nat: I don’t know… the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and… carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you… you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and – there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be aweful – not all the time. It’s kinda…

[deep breath]

Nat: not that you’d like it exactly, but it’s what you’ve got instead of your son. So, you carry it around. And uh… it doesn’t go away. Which is…

Becca: Which is what?

Nat: Fine, actually.

I thought that this was such a beautiful way to describe grief and loss and where it goes after time. I am still learning to live with the passing of my parents. It’s been almost three and a half years. I know I will remember these words from Rabbit Hole and I look forward to finding my “fine”, my peace some day.

post signature

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: loss, movie review, quotes

Eat Pray Love

Posted on August 16, 2010 Written by Tonya

Can true fulfillment come if a woman leaves her husband to hopscotch around the world tromping on pasta, dudes and eastern meditation? In a word: yes!

I read Eat Pray Love as soon as it came out WAY back in 2006 and like most women, I gobbled it up and devoured every page. I identified with Elizabeth Gilbert’s journey and I found her story enlightening, brave and romantic.

I, too was (and still am) a thirty-something year old women, who had been divorced because I felt trapped in a going nowhere marriage and wanted to run off in search of myself and wondered if I could ever forgive and be open to love again someday. Gilbert shares her experiences so vividly and had me nodding along the whole entire way.

Whether her publisher paid her to travel to Italy, India and Indonesia and write about her journey or not, I still loved this book and gave several copies to friends as gifts because I knew they’d love it too.

I haven’t a clue where my own copy of the book disappeared too, but thankfully I did write down some key passages that spoke right to my heart:

My heart skipped a beat and then flat-out tripped over itself and fell on its face. Then my heart stood up, brushed itself off, took a deep breath and announced: “l want a spiritual teacher.” I literally mean that it was my heart who said this, speaking through my mouth. I felt this weird division in myself, and my mind stepped out of my body for a moment, spun around to face me heart in astonishment and silently asked, “You DO?”

…traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt, ever since I was sixteen years old and first went to Russia with my saved-up babysitting money, that to travel is worth and cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not always been loyal and constant in my other loves. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible colicky, restless newborn baby–I just don’t care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because it’s mine. Because it looks exactly like me. It can barf all over me if it wants to – I just don’t care.

Bel far niente – the beauty of doing nothing. The more exquisitely and delightfully you can do nothing, the higher your life’s achievement.

When I get lonely these days, I think: So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.

The Bhagavad Gita–the ancient Indian Yogic text–says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

I felt a glimmer of happiness when I started studying Italian, and when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt–this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.

Yoga is the effort to experience one’s divinity personally and then to hold on to that experience forever. Yoga is about self-mastery and the dedicated effort to haul your attention away from your endless brooding over the past and your nonstop worrying about the future so that you can seek, instead, a place of eternal presence from which you may regard yourself and the true nature of the world (and yourself) to be revealed to you.

A true soul mate is probably the most important you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it….

Letting go, of course, is a scary enterprise for those of us who believe that the world revolves only because it has a handle on the top of it which we personally turn, and that if we were to drop this handle for even a moment, well–that would be the end of the universe.

Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.

In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.

I was greatly anticipating the screen adaptation of Eat Pray Love and when I found out one of my favorite actresses was going to be the lead, I was even more excited.

I saw the movie over the weekend and it did not disappoint. Love her or hate her, Julia Roberts is larger than life and truly shines in the role of Elizabeth Gilbert, and spending a little time with Javier Bardem is always a nice treat too. The scenery is gorgeous, and if nothing else, maybe you’ll leave the theater with daydreams of taking a fantastic voyage to a distance land.

I enjoy reading about people’s self discoveries because it helps me with my own journey. I don’t believe you have to go to around the world to find yourself, for most of us, it’s not even a possibility. For real inner change to occur, I think you just need to be open to it. You have to learn to be still with yourself and be very patient. Transformation can happen at any time and any where.

You can meditate in the comfort of your own home, take a painting class, or learn a new language. Get lost in a good book, movie or bottle of wine. Talk, listen, write, feel, touch, taste and cry. Surround yourself with people and things that make you feel good about yourself and your place in this world. And never take any of this life for granted or too seriously.

I think we are all always transforming and growing into the person we wish to be.

The best is yet to be.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: book review, me time, movie review, quotes, TDA bio

Sex And The City 2

Posted on June 1, 2010 Written by Tonya

While I could have done without the cheese ball karaoke version of Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman” in an Abu Dhabi nightclub, I was there opening day and loved almost every minute of this over the top fun romp. It was great to catch up with my favorite NYC gal pals, not to mention gush over the incredible fashion.

There were a couple (okay, one) of tender moments too, like Miranda and Charlotte bonding over how tough it is to be a mom. Their conversation actually brought a tear to my eye because I could SO identify!

If you are a fan of the series and enjoyed the first movie at all AND can suspend your judgments for two and a half hours and just enjoy it for what it is, go see Sex and the City 2. BUT, before then head over to The Life of a Suburban Princess for an awesome Sex and the City giveaway, a very cool pink tote with famous quotes from the series. Good luck, everyone!

The best is yet to be.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: blog, movie review

Brothers

Posted on December 19, 2009 Written by Tonya

Today’s post has nothing to do with raising Lucas, but it has everything to do with family. My sister and I saw the movie Brothers the other night and it was amazing.

A remake of the 2004 Swedish film, Bröder, the trio of Jake Gyllenhaal, Tobey Maguire and Natalie Portman was a draw for me and from an acting standpoint, they did not disappoint. The script gives Macguire the most to work with as the family man/Marine, Capt. Sam Cahill, whose latest trip to Afghanistan sees him imprisoned by the Taliban and ultimately returned to America with some serious psychological issues. While he is MIA, his wife, Grace, (Portman) and ex-con brother, Tommy, (Gyllenhaal) are told he is dead, and the two grow closer, eventually verging on emotional and physical attachment.

Watching these three individuals go through their personal journeys is heartbreaking and beautiful, especially that of Cahill. I wasn’t expecting to be so emotionally attached or moved by this film. It was very thought provoking for me and made me realize that war affects more than just the solider, it takes its toll on the entire family and all of those left behind. In many ways, I think it’s harder for those left waiting at home for the safe return of their loved one.

I highly recommend this movie hope Tobey Maguire wins the Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture (Drama) for his stunning performance.

I am thankful that I don’t know anyone involved in the war in any way, but I know that I am in the minority. I am ashamed to admit that I’m not even sure why we are fighting. I know that it is mainly in response to the September 11, 2001 attacks on the US, but I believe that the conflict is much deeper and older than that.

It blows my mind that we are in year nine of the war in Afghanistan and currently have 70,000 U.S. military personnel stationed there. Now, that’s something to think about! Or what about the sobering fact that as of today, December 19, 2009 we have lost 5,288 soldiers. 4,356 in Operation Iraqi Freedom and 932 in Operation Enduring Freedom. That’s 5,288 souls too many.

The best is yet to be. May peace on earth be near.

Related Posts:

  • Paris – NaBloPoMo
  • On Disappearing & A Review Of “The Age Of Adaline”
  • Tracy’s Story: Say No To NuvaRing

Filed Under: current events, movie review, war Tagged With: current events, movie review, war

Subscribe TwitterFacebook Email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

My Parents

Photobucket

I was a Listen To Your Mother Cast Member! Click on image to view my reading:

I was a Listen To Your Mother Cast Member! Click on image to view my reading:

Proud to have my writing featured here:

Proud to have my writing featured here:
Blog Archive

What I’m Pinning

Letters For Lucas
BlogWithIntegrity.com

What I Write About

a mother's guilt annoyances aunt leah birthdays blog books challenges conversations with Lucas DMB exercise family friends grandparents gratitude grief guest post holidays KRA Letters For You list loss love mama kat's writer's workshop memories me time milestones motherhood MSA NaBloPoMo parenthood parenting photos praise pregnancy2 question quotes SAHM school siblings simple joys TBW TDA bio travel update writing

Creative Kristi Designs

Copyright © 2009- 2025 · Letters For Lucas · Design By Creative Kristi Designs